Infamous Days

History is the story of human events and cycles. Let's face it: the remarkable events of history are mainly associated with wars and other deadly catastrophes. I cannot remember reading anything in my history books about nice people living peacefully together, helping each other. Oh yes, there were stories of missionaries and such, who braved the tortuous conditions of pestilence and plague to help others - if they would agree to be converted. I do not think the work of missionaries is righteous, so much as self-serving. Possibly, even malevolent.

Anyhow, tomorrow is the anniversary of the historic Day of Infamy (Dec 7, 1941) the attack on Pearl Harbor, which gave the author James Jones a writing career. Every book he wrote (eg, From Here to Eternity, and other titles which I cannot remember.) were based on events of that day, at that Island Paradise turned into a graveyard for the American fleet. I was born a few months after that infamous day, and have dedicated my life to staying away from Hawaii. So far, I have been quite successful.

Work has become a hellhole. Every day at the crack of dawn (10am) I drag my tired ass into the office to grind out mindless queries on the access database. I need to restructure the tables and rewrite every bleeping report.
Writing new procedures. Making them into a well-oiled information machine. I am a data quality missionary in the jungles of the Sargasso Sea. I work for 3 or 4 hours straight, taking short breaks for biological necessities.

When I get back home, it is dark. No one has cooked dinner. The cats are annoyed. My wife is righteously tired from her own workday, which began at 8am. She is watching Dr. Phil on TV, wondering why I have not planned for the evening meal . She is ready to confront me with her anger and disappointment. But I quickly dial the phone to arrange for a nutritious meal to be delivered piping hot, with extra sauce.

Tomorrow, we will run the same tedious program, and on, and on. Until we die. Or, win the lottery!

Reasons to be Thankless

Cripes. I've been putting-in about 4 hours a day since last Friday. It's a big adjustment for me. Going to an office every day reminds me of how dumb and inefficient time wasters office workers can be.

Now, I am an expert at malingering. I can spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing except staring out the window and wondering about the meaning of life. But I never have considered time spent doing nothing, sleeping or standing in line at at the coffee wagon as "wasted." Wasted time is when morons - impersonating busy people - are sitting at their desks surfing the web, or congregating in useless meetings, pretending to be getting something done, complaining about how stressed and "swamped" they are with work, or wondering what the boss thinks.

Here it is 8:30am and I am looking at another day of grueling database analysis. For the 4th consecutive workday, I will shower, shave, put-on clean pressed clothes and drive to an office. The office will be closed for Thanksgiving and Friday. I am Thankful for the long weekend, but will be doing about twenty hours next week as well. I miss the times when I could look at several whole days with no one expecting me to be anywhere, wearing the same clothes for a week, bathing only when the cats started following me around the house, shaving only when strangers would start handing me spare change.

This is the definition of Freedom. I will be Thankful when I can return to that blessed state.

Back to Work

On Friday, I got up early, showered and shaved. I put on clean, pressed pants and a newly laundered shirt. I went to an office in a nearby town and worked on their database for 4.5 hours. I must say that I survived this first stint of office work since I left my previous job in April of 2003.

The hardest part was looking out of the window and seeing that I was missing an unseasonably warm afternoon. This is defense exhibit 9233 proving that the gods hate me. They see that I am stuck in a stuffy office showing the administrative staff how to do mail merges, and they taunt me with a perfect day for staining the new screen porch mahogany deck.

As I say, I survived. I'll probably be back there tomorrow for three or four hours. Then maybe 7 or 8 more partial days. The office is closed on Thanksgiving and the next day. I have to re-structure the database, rewrite some report queries, do some necessary clean-up and reformatting of the actual business data. Then write up some pretty user documentation. The whole job will be about 40 hrs work.

Then I'll probably take some R&R time before looking for more work. After all, it is the season to reflect on one's blessings and hope for the future. More importantly, it is a time to renew fellowship over malt beverages, washed down with Bar-B-Qued ribs.

Games People Play

I am disturbed by the recent news from Iraq. The TV news reports that the occupation of Fallujah by US troops is almost complete. At the same time that we are clamping down on one troulespot, new problems are igniting in new places. This reminds me of the carnival game called whack-a-mole. You hit as many mole heads as you can in a race against the clock. Every time you whack the mole in one hole, he pops up again in another spot.
It's a maddening game that you cannot win, whcih is why carnivals run it.

How can we put down the new insurgency with troops tied up occupying Fallujah. If we leave, they will come back. If we stay, they will just go and cause trouble somewhere else. Like drug dealers and hookers here in the homeland. They just keep moving to the unguarded areas. Without civilian cooperation (and a bit of old fashioned vigilantism on the part of the civilian populace), we cannot win.

WARNING: When I was Googling the term Whack-a-mole, I got an item that describes a "game" that was going around the internet last year called "Whack-a-mole." Apparently the "game" is a devious way to keep you busy while a hacker installs a piece of nasty spyware on your machine.

Thundering Silence

It's quiet here today. This is the first weekday in about a month that there are no workmen here. They have gone to go and pound, drill, saw and pound again on someone else's house. They have taken their giant country and western playing radio and their dunkin donuts coffe cups and omwitch wrappers and their loud talking to the next victim - er, I mean customer. The screen porch is 93.7% done. All it needs is screens and a door, maybe some electical details. I think these will be done in the spring. This is ok with me, because the final payment is not due until the job is done. The dumpster is scheduled to be removed by Friday.
Finally, I have my house back.

I was somewhat dismayed to read an article today about how badly some lottery winners have fared. It seems that the sudden influx of a huge amount of money can be a bad thing for a lot of people. Especially people who have no experience with wealth. A lot of the "winners" have ended up bankrupt and despised by their families. One winner's brother hired a hit-man to kill him in hopes of inheriiting the fortune. I recall reading a profile a few years ago about a young woman who won something like twenty million. She was unhappy after a few years because her relationship with siblings and parents had become strained. "No matter what I gave them, they didn't think it was enough." she said after buying new homes for her family members that were slightly smaller than hers. They thought she was selfish. She thought they were moneygrubbing.
This would never happen to me. If I won, I would give all the money to charity: The Noonan Rectal Itch Foundation. This venerable organization is dedicated to finding not just a treatment but a cure for this agonizing condition.

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I am brushing-up on my Microsoft Access knowledge. Reading "Access 2000 for People Too Lazy to Read The Help Documentation." It's pretty informative. But I keep dozing off. My contract gig starts on Friday, and will probably run 7-10 days of maybe 4 hours a day. Not bad for a starter engagement. That's what we consultants call them: engagements.

Man, it is quiet today. Even the cats seem to be spooked by the eery silence. They have assembled in the doorway, looking at me for an explanation.


Ah, as if on cue, the landscapers have arrived next door with their big mowers and blowers and...of course the giant leaf-sucking machine.

Snow Job

The porch guys have one or two more days work, finishing up the trim and electrical. Then, they will go away and work on inside jobs until March, when they will finish installing the screens. I will be glad to have them gone. The noise and distraction from their hammering and power sawing activities (not to mention their boombox) have been driving me up a wall, and out of the house. I (reluctantly) have agreed to allow them access to the bathroom, rather than having one of those unsightly portable toilets sitting in the driveway, next to the dumpster. During the inhumanly cold weather, I feel obliged to offer them the option of coming inside to warm-up periodically. Although it has only been about two weeks since they started, it feels like 6 months since I have had the house to myself.

This morning I had to shovel about 4 inches of wet snow. Winter has arrived. Thoughts are wrenched away from screens and decks to ice and snowthrowers. Thanksgiving. Christmas (and grandsons).

The news is full of world events. And problematic questions.

The sight of the adoring throngs of Palestinians at Ramallah yesterday gives one a real sense of what we are up against when we say we are at war against terrorists. Not only do they worship the man who ruined their hopes of peace and independence, but they are habitual wasters of valuable ammunition. Don't those bullets come down, somewhere? Maybe landing on people? Does Allah like being shot at?

Now they are reporting that all the enemy strategy guys escaped in Fallujah . Duh! Does anyone else think we might have helped more insurgents to become martyrs if we had not announced the attack two weeks in advance?

Nine Iraqi police stations were looted by militants yesterday. How come the cops didn't shoot the looters?

Presidential assassin John Hinkley wants to get more walking-around time. He's just fine now. I would make it mandatory that any shrink who lobbies for freedom for a former homicidal maniac would have to co-sign a guarantee that the said former mental patient will not violate any laws - or the shrink will be accountable for any crimes committed by the nutcase, and will serve the appropriate sentence as the mentally accountable party. Also the guys who were shot must sign-off on any plan to let this guy out without a chaperon.

The Peterson trial is almost over (we still need to go through the spectacle of the sentencing.) The amazing statistic that has been in the news is that the leading cause of death for pregnant women is homicide. More shockingly, the father of the baby usually commits the crime. Should the prolife movement get involved with this extreme form of abortion? Why aren't they speaking out?

The Big Dig tunnel system has sprung a leak or two - but nobody is responsible. Gov. Mitt wants the Turnpike chairman to resign. But, this will accomplish nothing.
We want our money back!

One Flake Does Not a Snowstorm Make

I had a job interview yesterday. The hiring VP reminded me of the guy who didn't like me when I was starting up the Data Warehouse Project at the Diploma Factory; I probably reminded the hiring VP of someone who would soon need to be demoted. I don't think it was the right situation for me - they were looking for someone who had actually succeeded in starting up a data warehouse. Hah, I told him. That's the boring part.
He didn't even smile at some of my wry humor ("Why, 2 years ago I couldn't even spell XML...." and, "You're not offended by fag jokes are you?"). I figured he was giving me a strong hint when we said goodbye and how nice it was to chat, when he added, "Good Luck in your job search."

Still, it was an interview. The first time in 15 months that I had gotten past the phone screen to an in-person meeting. That indicates something. Perhaps not a trend, but remember: every blizzard starts with a single flake. The Globe reports that the national job numbers are starting to look better. Can a full-time job be around the corner? Now that the garden is put to bed, and the construction workers are a distraction, I am anxious to get out of the house these days.

My wife thinks I would hate going back to work-a-day routine: everyday, getting up early, daily ablutions (as opposed to showering every third or fourth day whether I need it or not), sitting in commuting traffic, working with (and for) assholes. Sitting in a stuffy office, talking about data models and budget line items. Or arguing with the insane network admin. Meetings. Going to the bar for beers. Hey, wait. That last one is the chief work related activity that I do miss!

I am not desperate. I have had several business writing jobs lately. The last one was an executive letter inviting C-level Captains of Industry to a really boring IT records management conference. The client loves my work and wants to book me for another series of letters. Ok, I said, why not? The research I do for the letters is interesting. They send me all the info I need and I just write it up pretty. Takes about 8 hours over about three days, counting research, draft and finished composition, haggling with client over nitpicking edits, complete re-write, final edits and nitpicks, calming cocktails.

I make more than Dave Barry, and I'm just as funny.

Letting the Chips Fall

Some years ago I read a book that had a title something like "Machiavelli and Management." The gist of it was that the strategies and tactics of many managers seem to be wrenched from the playbook of that pre-renaissance despot-philosopher. One of the most useful truths that I have embrace from that reading was the inspired observation, which I paraphrase, That which you take by force you must keep by force.

I am not just laying-down an allusion to the current situation in Iraq. In fact, I am thinking about a job opportunity that has come onto my radar. The job title is Manager of IT Business Information Systems for company that fits within my job search parameters: Within 5 miles of home, no higher than third floor, no heavy lifting, exorbitant salary.
(Actually, the last criteria has not been established, yet.)

Apparently, I applied for this job via one of those web job boards, and now they want to talk to me. The prospect of a real interview (after more than a year of drought) raises some serious issues for me. After ruthlessly bashing management in print and orally for eons, how can I now credibly interview for a job with the word Manager in the title? Answer: it's easy to rationalize nearly anything. More importantly, the question arises: How can I fool them into thinking I am evil management material?
Then, the Machiavelli quote comes to mind. My corollary is : That which you achieve with a lie, must be maintained with a lie. This Truth presents an untenable problem for me. You need an excellent memory to support a lying personality. I do not have the instinct or energy to be a career liar.
So, I'll just have to go in and be myself.
I know what you are thinking: Bad move. Well, let's see...

Time to go to the polls and vote. You too.

election thots

As you know, this blog is about work, not politics. But we have an important election next Tuesday, which will determine the course of history, or more accurately - the course of the future.

For what it's worth, here is how I see the current situation:

Of the two choices we had in 2000, George W. Bush was the right guy to have in the White House when we were attacked on 9/11. We all cheered his response against the terrorists. But somewhere between defeating the Taliban in Afghanistan and bombing Iraq, things went wrong. Bad decisions based on bad intelligence led us into a war which most of us now agree was unnecessary and badly conceived. Instead of beefing- up the resources protecting our borders, ports and soldiers, huge sums of money have been spent in a low-percentage attempt to import Democracy to a people who will always prefer - and will always vote for - Theocracy.
[Incidentaly, What kind of example are we demonstrating to the world? 10,000 lawyers, more hanging chads, dead voters, fraud, scandal, etc. Maybe we need Jimmy Carter to come with a UN team to monitor our elections!]

I read in the paper yesterday that a recent study estimated 100,000 civilian deaths in Iraq due to American military action. Didn't say how many wounded. (Hey, it was in the paper so it's got to be true!) If this is even half true, how can we still justify our intervention to save the populace from a murderous dictator. Can we honestly say things are better today for the Iraqis. Or us? Do you feel safer? I don't.

Despite inheriting a budget surplus in 2000, we now have a budget deficit that will impose an even greater burden on the next generations of Americans, many of whom are already forced outsource child care because both parents must work to support a half-decent lifestyle. Many are priced-out of the hope of buying a home in the communities that they grew up in. (Is this the Conservative interpretation of family values?)

If re-elected, Bush has promised a continuation of the tax breaks for the those earning over a million dollars a year. This item alone represents 90 billion in lost revenue. That amount could cover quite a few protective vests for soldiers on the from lines who can't get them. And, perhaps some of it could be used to fund the education program that Bush takes credit for despite the fact that he refuses to pay for it.

Finally, Bush is a public embarrassment. He cannot utter an unrehearsed sentence without flubbing it. Everyone knows he is the front man for the real presidents - Cheney, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld and Karl Rove. The arrogance and capacity for deceit that this team has already demonstrated is chilling.

Now, on the other hand we have John Kerry. He has shown himself to be a chameleon and a phony. He continually reminds us that he defended the country, although his own words seem to contradict the amount of defending he was doing (as opposed to pillaging the countryside). There are many men whose military experience qualified them to be heroes, but there is nothing to indicate that that such valor would make them become good presidents. He has chosen some embarrassing photo ops - just recently the hunting trip - which make you want to cringe.

Still, no one denies that Kerry is intelligent, has a long career in government, and has an understanding of why we want and need global partners, and how mindless Nationalism easily leads to Fascism.

Despite our doubts about Kerry's character, we know two things. 1) This election is really about who appoints the next few Supreme Court Justices. The progress of the past three decades in human rights and personal liberty are at risk under a neocon-backed presidency. 2) We are not more secure with Bush in the White House. Despite the tough and scare filled rhetoric, the Bush administration has failed to secure peace in Iraq. The real enemy - Osama Bin Laden looks healthier than ever as he broadcasts (from a studio - not a cave) his latest warnings for the next attack on the USA.

How can John Kerry do worse?
The message for George Bush (and his co-presidents) is "No more years."

Total Exclipse of the Cards

As predicted, the Red Sox cowboyed-up and vanquished the opponent. The Cards folded like girly men. Most of the drama was in the commercials which have been repeated in mind numbing frequency throughout the games. Will Badger ever find his way home? Do you believe AOL really listens to their customers?

How the hell does Manny get MVP? (Mr. two errors in one game?) Wasn't Shillings gutsy appearance the real spark for the team?

Well, back to work. I have another writing job today. This one is due Monday. I have to read a big document and abstract it into a little document. If the work keeps up at this rate, I may be forced to consider resigning from retirement.

Wickid Pissah

St Louis will be playing the blues in the night, going back home after dropping the first two games to Boston. I don't count these guys out yet. They have a dominant record at their home park and were weak on the road with the Astros in post season. On the other hand, the Red Sox played very strong in New York. It should be a couple of nail-biters. Productivity in the Boston area will be poor again this week due to bleary eyed fans who stayed up to watch the game.

Someone ought to tell "Buckwheat" Manny Ramirez to get a haircut for crissakes. He has not impressed me so far. Take his big money away and give it to Papi Ortiz.

Am I the only one who hates all the distracting graphics that the TV guys paste on the screenduring sports games? I like the bar at the top showing the details of the game, men on base, speed of piches, etc. All that is good. It's the animated previews of other programs that take up the lower third of the screen, the crawling text, the jiggling, flashing, whooshing images. All this eye trash, spoils the game. And I don't care what Steven King is doing in the stands. Let's watch the damn game.

Work Series

The builder called Friday to tell me that he would be over to start building the screen porch on this coming Tuesday. This is excellent and surprising news. I only signed the request for a building permit a few days ago. I figured it would take at least another month to get something going. I always knew I was a "fill-in" job, and I accepted the fact that this small job would get bumped by conflicts of larger jobs The contact agreement had a final deadline of May 3, 2005. But, now the builder seems to think that he will get most of it done in the next few weeks.
The only downside is that now we will need to come up with the money sooner.

On Tuesday afternoons, several of us guys usually meet at George's for "tea". You know, Ice cold frosty "tea" that comes in six packs. This week, I think we should move the Tea here, so we can supervise the work.

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Last weekend, I completed a freelance writing job. Then on Monday, I called on a local business nonprofit to look at their database and discuss fixing some reporting problems. I think they liked me. I gave them a written proposal for 40-60 hrs of work. No response yet.

I'm thinking actively soliciting more business writing gigs. I think I am good at this type of writing, and the remuneration is excellent. The uncertainty of work and the prospect of down times between jobs is much preferrable to a tedious work series of fifty 40 hour weeks per year. And, you know, someone needs to keep an eye on the guys working on my new porch. So, I am optimistic about the prospect of small occasional work to pay for my lavish lifestyle....

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The other day, a retirement expert-financial planner called to offer his services.
"Well, I might be interested if you can answer one question." I said in my most cooperative tone.
"Sure. What's the question?" he asked, helpfully as he mentally began to tote up his commisson.
"When am I gonna die?"
"Excuse me?"
"I know how much money I have. The only thing I don't know is how many years to divide into the nest egg?"
The silence on the end of the line spoke volumes. Finally, "Well, actually, it's not quite that simple..."
"Oh yes it is," I interjected. "Tell me! When?"
"Sir, I am not in a position to answer a question like..."
"Hey, it's the only question I have about financing my retirement." I hung up, not to string the poor shmuck along any further. I really need to find another way to entertain myself - instead of jerking around with telemarketing callers. But it is fun.

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Last night just before game one, Steve Tyler from Aerosmith sang the National Anthem. In my humble opinion it was the best work I have ever heard him do. Well, maybe "Walk This Way" was a little catchier. (Or, was that Led Zeppalin? I dunno. Neither of those bands fall within my golden era.) Anyhoo, just as Tyler finished the SSB there was a low fly-over of two F-150 Air Force jets. Or is F-150 a Ford Truck model? I don't know nuthin' about jets - or trucks. The timimg was awesome. I figured I had enough time to get up and get a frosty brew. By the time I got to the fridge there was this tremendous roar overhead. It scared the crap out of me for a split second. The cats - who are quite accustomed to the noise and vibration associated with the occasional but noisy passing of freight trains - panicked and ran under the table. Then, I realized it was the Fenway fly-over jets on the way back to Hanscom Field in Bedford. Through the rear slider I could see the lights speeding through the dark sky as they screamed overhead, dishing thunder to the ground below. It makes you wonder: how the hell does anyone get any sleep in Iraq?
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Speaking of Jets, the Pats kicked their New York asses all over the field today.

Changes to the game

They should institute some changes to baseball to make the game more interesting.
#1 A 3 pitcher limit, pitcher must bat to stay in game.
#2 Video review of close calls (two big mistakes by umpires occurred in last two games)
#3 No women sports analysts - wimmen are not allowed to play, and they shouldn't be allowed to talk during the game. Exception: Dick Cheney's daughter.
#4 Every other spectator sport has a time limit. In Baseball, the limit should be nine innings. Game over tie or no tie. Or maybe a sudden death home run shootoff.
#5 No spitting. The constant expectoration on camera is revolting.

Remember, these guys are professional entertainers, not amateur athletes.

It Ain't Over Until I Say It's Over

A fat lady sang tonight in the heart of Gotham city. Oops, it was Rohan Tinan singing God Bless America with an Irish accent. Oh well, stuff happens.

Then an odd thing occured. The Red Sox did not embarrass themselves. They did cowboy up. Except for the foolish move of bringing Pedro in to pitch a few Yankee runs in, and getting the Yankee fans revved up, the game was a unabridged victionary.
OK they won the pennant, and I am happy. The small problem is: It ain't over.
(But, wow!)

Walkoff Home Run

All of a sudden I'm hearing this term. No one has defined it for me, so, I looked it up on the web at a place called FAQ Farm. Here's what they say:

"A walk-off home run is a home run which ends the game. This is a phrase that has only recently entered the baseball lexicon. Comes from the fact that if the home team hits a home run to take the lead in the 9th or an extra inning, both teams walk off the field since the game is over. "

Eternal Endeavers

Despite my better judgement, I allowed myself to get sucked into the game again last night. Another grueling contest that should never have gone fourteen eternal innings. The whole spectacle raises some metaphysical questions about the meaning of life, the existence of a supreme being and the reality of an afterlife.

I felt very sorry for the poor shmucks who paid big bucks to sit in the narrow seats freezing their collective asses off for more than 5 hours while their hometown heroes bobbled, stumbled and slid around the bases like a bunch of little leaguers.
While I was ensconced on a comfy sofa with a frosty Sierra Nevada, a perfectly grilled burger and of course with my trusty clicker within easy reach, the ticket holder in the stands had to settle for undrinkable coors lite beer for $3.50 a pop and marginally warm hot dogs at $5.00 and a long line at the rest room. They had to watch every tedious second of the "park experience" including the singing of God Bless America. I surfed around, catching fragments of the Cards vs Astros, the football game on ABC and Sienfeld reruns.

I think it is pretty clear that if there is a god, then he is a taunting bully. Faithful Boston fans are yanked helplessly back to New York like kittens chasing a string 2 of Red Sox wins in a row. In their hearts, they know how it is going to end, the way it always ends, but they can't help hoping. This is the nature of this earthly existence. Something wonderful will happen - tomorrow, if you believe! Then, just when you think it might happen, despite all of your pessimism and dark thoughts, that's when the hammer of defeat smacks you with a baseball bat. That is why I call it a Hellhole.

If there is an afterlife, and I am on some cloud looking at the re-runs of my life, I firmly believe that I will be pleased that I chose the option of not-being-there when it comes to professional sporting events. However, it begs the question of whether I used my time on Earth wisely in watching the game on TV, when I could have been doing something worthwhile - like, making fudge.

Gurus who specialize in Time Management remind us that Time is the supreme scarce resource. No matter how rich we are or how smart or sexy, we cannot ever get back so much as a single second of Time. Nearly everything else in our lives can be replaced - relationships, property, even critical body parts. But we never get to do yesterday over. Our lives are like spools of twine unravelling one second at a time. One day there will be no more twine. It behooves us to spend this day doing things that we wont regret.
So, anyway, who's watching the game tonight?

Homer in the 12th Inning

I have an interview scheduled this morning, so I gave up and went to bed at 1AM with the game tied in the 11th inning and the Red Sox so deep into the bullpen that they were bringing in Wakefield to pitch again.

This morning I hear that Ortiz wins the game 20 minutes later with a homer in the 12th. He shoulda done it in the 9th when he had bases loaded, and I was still awake. They play again tonight - this is the reshedule of the game that was rained-out friday night. I'm sick of seeing the Jeeter and Sheffield and especially Alex Rodriguez. They are not human.

Don't get your hopes up. You will not be seeing Pedro vs Clemens in the World Series.

Blowout

After last night's blowout loss to the Yankees (19-8), I feel compelled to quote myself from my blog entry of several weeks ago:

"That giant choking sound you hear in the distance is coming from Fenway Park. It's annual the Red Sox end-of-season slog up Heartbreak Hill."

I take no pleasure in being right. I merely note that one should have faith in causes that are worthy of one's hope. It did not escape the notice of some observers that A-Rod (the guy that the Yankees outbid the Sox for) led the smackdown.

This year I hope they fire that punk Theo Epstein and also bring Grady Little back as Manager. And get rid of those annoyingly stupid TV announcers. Scratch interviews with celebrities in the stands - we don't care what they think!

No team has ever come back from a 3 game deficit and won the Series. Looks like the Yanks against the Cards in the finals.

October Surprise

Normally, just before the national election one or both of the candidates campaign staff reveals some tawdry secret that reveals what a slimy evildoer the opponent is. Or, the incumbent finds some reason why the country should not even consider changing horses midstream. Did John Kerry think he was dealing a lethal blow by calling the VP's daughter a lesbian? Hmmn, it was shocking - but mainly because only a thoughtless A-hole would make that kind of remark.

But anyhow, the real surprising event for me recently was that I got calls from two people who called to discuss potential projects. I am working on one (paying) writing project this weekend. (Naturally a rush job due on Monday - but they don't pay the big bucks unless there is an unreasonable deadline involved.)

Monday, I have an appointment with a local business to look at their database and see if I can help them clean it up. I have a feeling that I will be the right one for the job, (whether I am or not). Between these two gigs I will earn enough to cover my bar tab for a month!

That's not all: I have a message from a headhunter who wants to discuss a contract opportunity with me - urgently. So, something is up. Fiscal quarter? I dunno. I just feel busy all of a sudden.

I was watching 20-20 last night. They had a piece on the Saudi Royal Family and their obscene oil riches. They were interviewing one of the Princes (the 5th richest man in the world with some twenty three billion of his own)on his yacht anchored on the Riviera, where he spends the summer. Apparently, the homeland desert is too hot. He admitted that he had a lot of money, but quickly pointed out that his luxurious 150 ft yacht was "used." He had bought it from Donald Trump. He viewed this bit of frugality it as a sign that he was not living in excessive luxury - despite the fact that the majority of his countrymen and women live in squalor. He accepted the disparity as simply the way Allah wants it.

I guess it's all relative.

I read this am that the auditors can't account for billions of dollaers that were earmarked for the Iraq war. I'll bet that all those wounded amputee soldiers are wishing someone had spent the money on better armor.

Hey wait, we already know who has stole - oops I mean accidentally overbilled - several million dollars in reconstruction activities in Iraq. Can they spell Halliburton? (Dick Cheney's lesbian company). What a surprise that the Dems should have discovered the error just before the election....

Home Improvements

It hasn't really been a week since I updated the blog. I had attempted to write on two previous occasions, but my timeless prose was lost somewhere in the internets (as our hi tech prez would say). There is a glitch in the blog-writing program that allows your text to disappear if you fail to save the text before clicking on another window. I call it a "glitch", you might call it "user error."
Pajamas pajahmas - let's not fight about it.

The new baby and mom are doing fine. They look a bit tired what with the nightime feedings and the chaos that is caused by the arrival of a new member into the family routine. They have turned the ringer of the phone off so the only way you can contact them is to go over there and bang on the door, yelling "Police! We have a warrant. Open up!"

Our builder stopped by yesterday for a serious discussion of the porch project. We gave hime our "final" changes to the drawings. He will have a contract ready in a few days, and then we will be underway - sometime in the next 5 months. The survey guys were here last week, measuring and siting and writing notes in their booklets. They sprayed little red circles on the street marking the property lines. Hmmn. Hey neighbor, get your tree off my yard!
The project next door is nearly complete. Maybe the crew will just come over here and do my little porch in a few days. Dreamer or what?

The house across the street just went up for sale. Over a million. Hope they get the price. It will help my property values. Most of the people who are looking at the property are arriving in fancy cars. I made a deal with the owner that for the price of a couple of cases of beer, I would agree not to sit on my front lawn in a beach chair, wearing plaid bermuda shorts and my favorite Hooters Tee shirt, looking like a bipolar geezer who has gone off his meds. The owner offered to double the extortion payoff if I would promise to stay inside whenever prospective buyers were on their premises. The agreement doesn't specifically prohibit me from mooning them from the upstairs window, so I can still have fun with it.

My wife took a week off from work to be on-call for the newborn and mom. It has been enjoyable for us, since she rarely takes time off to be at home. Normally we go somewhere on vacations. So it is a bit of novelty for her to be around the house, telling me what to do (You know you promised to paint the living room before Columbus day!) and what not to do (Are you having another beer?), and organizing my exercise regimen (Get up you lazy lout; It's 7:33 am - time for our walk!).

I cite the recent scientific study "Men who drank one-two beers per day had a bone density 7 percent greater than nondrinkers." If two is good for you, how much better to have more beers? But my logic is useless in the face of her determination.


On the plus side, when she is not over the daughter's house in her capacity as grandmother. she has been doing the shopping and cooking, which gives me a break - and plenty of time to get that painting done. She has re-taken control of the kitchen.
I can't find anything any more. The beer opener is in a different drawer. The cupboard has been re-organized. She will be going back to work next week, so I can get some rest, and re-arrange the utensil drawer the way I like it. Re-gain some of the weight I have lost walking and being denied access to the beer fridge,
PS - The living room has been painted - ceiling walls and woodwork - two coats.