Beerflation

The stock market is starting to give me agita lately - with daily fluctuations of hundreds of points up and down. When you are on a fixed income and contemplating the ratio between estimated remaining years of life and Asset value, the only way you can achieve serenity is the perceived assurance that things – money markets, real estate prices, costs – will be somewhat predictable. We already know that in 20 years it will take $200 dollars to buy the same stuff that you can get for $100 today. And that is adjusting for predictable levels of inflation. So, in this context, even a million dollar “nest egg” does not look too large. Years ago, a million was considered a fortune. Today, it is barely enough to get by.

I am already older than I ever planned to be. I have never had a“retirement plan” in terms of dream home or fabulous trips, or a life of affluent indolence. The truth is that I am in constant flux between wanting to go back to work to grub a few more bucks OR enjoying my few remaining years in a two-star pasture. We can’t afford to buy a villa in France, but we could swing a half acre in South Carolina or some rural venue. But, what’s the point of moving away from family and friends just to save a few bucks? Why does everything in life have to be a trade-off between need and want. Sometimes it’s very hard to distinguish between the two.

I try not to worry about it – worry makes you die younger. (On the other hand, dying younger eliminates the problem of outliving the money. )

Ech. I need to think about something else….

Ah, here we have some recent news on the health scene:
Like the stock market, recent reports from scientific studies about obesity are full of contrary news. At the same time that “researchers” are wringing their hands about the fears that we are raising a generation of fat kids, we are getting new reports that being chubby is good.

Now, I have never been in favor of going to a gym to use one of those workout machines. The idea of doing exercise for the sheer purpose of burning calories has always seemed fruitless to me. When I see phalanxes of people in sweaty togs working-out in a gym they evoke images of gerbils running on a treadmill, huffing and puffing, going nowhere. And, aerobics is just as stupid. (If you feel like dancing, why not go to a club where they sell beer?)

Now, purposeful exercise is good; If I am going to get sweaty, I want there to be a visible result – the lawn is mown, the driveway is shoveled, a stack of wood is cut. If I am walking, I want to get somewhere – to the top of a mountain, or maybe to the convenience store where I buy lottery tickets.

As a result of this kind of thought process, being “in shape” has always been a few bus stops down the road from where I am standing at any given moment.

But recent medical news would lead me to believe that my doctors have been wrong! I should be drinking more wine and beer, avoiding diets and encouraging my spouse to have a big ass.

Researchers have recently reported that overweight people have a lower death rate because they are much less likely to die from Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, infections and lung disease.

So what’s a food-loving chubster supposed to do with all this information? My approach is simple: Search the web for evidence that supports the position you want to believe in.

Just as the case with politics, you can find some fringe web site that can “quoted” and presented as faux evidence of virtually any position you choose.

In the 1973 Movie “Sleeper,” Woody Allen depicted a future world where chocolate was deemed to be good for you. How prescient.

And maybe drinking beer will someday be shown to cure cancer and improve one’s investment portfolio. It could happen. Stay tuned.

Where's the Boef, Ben?

Gisele Bundchen a Brazilian model (and Tom Brady's current girlfriend) is getting a lot of free publicity these days because she "prefers to be paid in Euro's." This is a story that tickles our fancy. It was first noted in a WSJ editorial claiming, "The Brazilian supermodel is reportedly now insisting that she be paid in a currency other than the U.S. dollar." So, which is it? Does she simply prefer Euros to dollars? (This would put her in the same league as non Brazilian, non-supermodel Warren Buffet.)



It seems that the WSJ is guilty of either a) Bad reporting or B) "Hey, it's a slow news week! We're just whipping-up some good old fashioned Nationalistic spirit. Gisele makes a good target - she is Brazilian, Rich, and Nubile. Most of us are none of the above - let's gang up and hate her. "

I'm thinking of writing a letter to the Social Security Administration to inform them that "henceforth, it would be preferable" if my monthly check would be paid in Euro's instead of those near-worthless U.S. Dollars. The Canadian Loony is worth as much as a USD these days, for freaks sake!

This never happened when there was a democratic president in office.