Simple Solutions

 Now that the election is over and no one is really happy with the prospects of the next term, I am inspired to revive my campaign to be elected as Emperor of the USA --  a lifetime job.  So here is my platform:

The Top 5 Things I would do if I was Emperor

#1  I would decree a change to the method of calculating interest on a loan.  Use the same method banks use to pay interest on savings, instead of loading all the interest charges up front.  Banks still make money and people can afford to borrow. 

#2 I would get the Mafia to help run the Credit Card companies.  The practical way that loan sharks handle collections is efficient and effective.  Knowing that they would be getting a personal visit from one of the Corleone agents would quickly reduce the number of deadbeats and ID thieves.  This would lower the costs for those of you subjects who buy what you can afford and pay your bills on a regular basis.

#3 How come it is called “price gouging” when gas stations inflate prices to take advantage of demand, yet airlines are allowed to screw the ticket buyers to a fare thee well?  Why is it called “torture” when suspects are detained and interrogated inhumanely, yet airlines can force you to sit in a stalled plane for 8 hours?

 It is time to nationalize all airlines and institute a flat rate and eliminate traveler class preference.  All airline executives would be forced to ride in the middle seat, with some un-bathed dude, sporting dreadlocks, sitting in the seat front of them with the seat back tilted into their confined space.  

#4 Homeland security.  I would close all foreign bases and bring the troops home to guard our borders, airports and inner cities.  All privately owned assault weapons will be confiscated and banned.  Personal protection handguns would be allowed for sane, upstanding citizens over the age of 55.  

#5 Legalize Cell Phone Jamming devices.  Public places and transportation vehicles will install these devices, which breaks off any cell phone voice activity.  Special waiting places will be assigned for cell-phone talkers, smokers and also people who disdain normal standards of personal hygiene.   Bars and restaurants must install Cell-Phone Booths to sequester the inconsiderate yakkers.   The penalty for shooting cell phone abusers will be reduced to a misdemeanor.

You have to admit that these policies would be a great start to a better society.  I am open to other ideas.  What are you thinking?

Why the General Resigned

Some men are bearers

Of a yawning need

That mere success

Cannot fulfill.

A silent yearning in the mind waits

Like a virus until that day

When he hears like a siren

Her, calling his name.

She of smooth cheek,

A scent of bread and spice,

A curl of hair around a perfect lobe

A lilt in a dusky voice,

Her eyes wide with promise.

Utterly succumbed,

He thinks only of stroking

That smooth cheek.

Others may think him crazy

To forfeit everything for those brief,

Eternal moments of madness.

He appears contrite

But he does not feel sorry.

He had no choice.

Yesterday the ex-General and ex-CIA chief  David Petraeus testified in closed session about the attack on the US ambassador in Libya last September 11th,  which killed 4 Americans.

Conservative Republicans have been trying to make a big stinking issue out of the Benghazi  attack and subsequent misinformation which was reported to the public.  

McCain and others have suggested that the story that was presented to US mainstream media -- that the attacks grew spontaneously out of protests against an anti-Muslim video -- was a politically motivated plot to hide the truth.  Talk show pundits allege that the government wanted to suppress any data that might suggest Al Qaeda was behind the attack.  The purpose was to fluff-up Obama's reputation as a successful warrior against terrorism.   

The foolishness of this accusation is obvious. It assumes that the Obama administration would rather be seen as ineptly under-staffing the embassy with protection from a rabble of random protesters than to acknowledge that Al Qaeda was behind the Sept 11 attack.  But seizing on any opportunity to embarrass Obama, critics -- including Mitt Romney -- could not wait to make it seem like a dastardly plot to insulate  Obama from blame in an evil plan to mis-inform the citizens.  They irresponsibly leaked details of the attack, which would only serve to compromise intelligence sources and hinder the subsequent investigation.  

Now, we hear that the general has testified that the CIA knew it was a terrorist attack within a day or so after the killings, but withheld the info to protect their informational assets, and not to tip-off Al Qaeda that they were watching them.  This seems credible to me.    

I have often heard that "The simpler explanation is more likely to be true than a complex one."

In this case, we see that the State Department decision to understaff the Embassy resulted in an un-necessary loss of life and destruction of property. The simplest explanation: government bureaucracy and ineptitude allowed the situation to get out of control.

The subsequent politicizing of the event by conservatives is unworthy of people who call themselves patriots.

Losing Focus

Is it just me, or does anyone else think football players wearing pink shoes is the silliest expression of "support" imaginable?

What has football got to do with any disease?  And why does breast cancer evoke more visible support than lung cancer or colon cancer?  Or dementia, which is the disease of aging football players?
The whole Breast Cancer Awareness theme thing just strikes me as absurd.  Is anyone NOT aware of breast cancer?  Has anyone been helped by all this awareness?

If the money that has been spent on pink apparel went into research, instead of spent on all all this feelgood "awareness" stuff, a cure might be closer to reality.