An Easter Poem

Two Kinds of Wind

The strong morning sun ignites the drab bark

of swaying skeletons in my yard

bony arms graceful in a tai chi dance

harmonic in clear morning’s breaths

a mute shout-out to the Easter Bunny:

"Hurry with your little brown eggs, you little shit

bring with you the heat that makes our sap rise"

While I, at my keyboard, feel the gas rise,

silently fart with noise-some gusts, 

driving the normally nonjudgmental cats

to flee the room.

Alien Abduction

I apologize to anyone who actually checked here during the past month, hoping for some witty insight or clever turn of phrase that might shine a ray of sunshine on your otherwise dingy day, but I have been absent.

The thing is, I have been away.  Oh, I know what you're thinking: he has been in jail, or drying-out at some secret sanatorium, or perhaps stranded mid-ocean on once of those dreaded Carnival cruises.  No, these guesses are nowhere near the story I am about to tell.

It started, as many stories do, on a dark and stormy night.  I was dabbling in purple prose, which in retrospect, betook the entirety of my eternal being  to meld in oneness with the universal embrace of pure self.

That's when the Aliens abducted me.  Thank god they weren't like brain eating zombies or some bloodsucking weirdo creatures.  No they were your everyday Invaders from Mars with big grey heads saucer eyes and tiny arms. They spoke English with a Portuguese accent but I could understand most of their commands and questions.

"Why me?" I thought, as they dragged me into the spaceship, disguised with markings of a green Servpro  Van.  They even copied the slogan on the van which (BTW) has to be the best marketing slogan I can think of.  "Like it never even happened."   If you saw any of the Men in Black movies you recall that they had a device called the Neuralyzer that flashed and if you looked at it without wearing Ray Bans it made you forget what you had seen any alien stuff. Like it never even happened.
Well, that's what they did to me, so who knows what happened after the painful probing? Well, not as painful as all that. You get used to it after a while.   All I know is on the way back,  they took me to a Dairy Queen and bought me a Blizzard.  It was awesome.  They promised to return,  but so far the only calls I've had were some contest operators congratulating me.  I've won a free vacation.  "Who wants to go to Florida when you have already been to Mars?" I ask them.  They respond that they will take my number off their calling list so no one else will bother me.  

I have to take this call.  Caller ID says it is "Unidentified Caller."