Yesterday, the Government announced that the economy is growing again. In fact the rate of growth was so dramatic (over 7%) that today's conservative pundits are declaring the winner of the 2004 Presidential Election to be George Bush. The Democratic candidates have been praying for a continued slump to fuel the popular desire for a change of leadership. Poor shmucks.
What it means to me is this: I need to get a new suit. Before you know it, the phone will start to ring with job offers and business opportunities. I want to be ready.
Judy has been a perfect saint through the summer, and even bought me some beer last week. She is a true prize, and I am not just saying this because she has demanded that I say something nice about her. I am saying it because it's true.
I think I can wait until next week to get the suit. It's 60 degrees out, and someone should be sitting in the back yard admiring the foliage, accepting the Gift of this day.
10/31/2003
10/29/2003
Harmful Mistakes
I read a report in the Globe today that cited the alarming increase in harmful mistakes in hospitals. They define these mistakes as routine problems like overdosing patients or surgical mishaps that actually injure or kill a patient. The most recent numbers in Massachusetts are 757 incidents this year compared to 574 incidents in 2000.
A hospital spokesperson attempted to clarify the meaning of the numbers. "It isn't really an increase in incidents," explained the spokesperson, "it really indicitive of improved reporting."
Whew! That's a relief.
Looking at the top ten employers on the Boston area with the most job openings, it is perhaps relevent that 8 of the ten are area hospitals and medical facilities. It is clear that anyone who gets sick around here should stay out of the hospitals if at all possible.
I would consider re-training for a job in the medical profession, except for the fact that I despise sick people, abhor bodily fluids, and the hours suck.
A hospital spokesperson attempted to clarify the meaning of the numbers. "It isn't really an increase in incidents," explained the spokesperson, "it really indicitive of improved reporting."
Whew! That's a relief.
Looking at the top ten employers on the Boston area with the most job openings, it is perhaps relevent that 8 of the ten are area hospitals and medical facilities. It is clear that anyone who gets sick around here should stay out of the hospitals if at all possible.
I would consider re-training for a job in the medical profession, except for the fact that I despise sick people, abhor bodily fluids, and the hours suck.
10/27/2003
Nasty Weather Non-Fan
It's cold and raw here in the Western Suburbs of Boston.
I am sitting here today wishing I was a Marlins fan. The Boston team was knocked out of the running by the New York team in the playoffs. I admit that at first, it bothered my that "my" team lost. Then, I realized that there was no reason to allow it to affect my day.
Why should I give a sweet shit what the Boston Red Sox do? They really have nothing to do with me. And hardly anything to do with Boston, other than the fact that members of the team and some owners are temporary residents of Our Fair City. Grady Little, the (almost former) Manager hails from the cotton fields of Alabama or is it North Carolina? Who cares? Most of the player names are unfamiliar to me. Few of them were actually raised in New England, much less Boston. Next year many of them will be someplace else.
The Boston Red Sox is just another entertainment Company. The players are just employees. There is no loyalty anywhere in this business. Popular players are traded off like coeds at a frat party. Management and coaches are fired, retired or replaced at the drop of a hat. Whining overpaid prima donnas even go on strike every few years, because of the terrible oppression by league managers.
Fans are just poor saps who have more cash than good sense, who layout big bucks to watch these professionals working. And buy their "gear." Would anyone buy a picture of me looking words up in my Thesaurus?
And, What the heck does the success or failure of a company have to do with my happiness or well being? If the new Walt Disney movie flops, do I lose sleep or beat my breast in anguish? Well, I suppose if I owned stock in the company, I could care. But I don't and I don't.
All this crap about the bambino's curse is laughable. Grady Little didn't lose the game by leaving Pedro in too long in the eight inning. New York won the game in the eleventh inning. The freaking players lost the game! Fire them and bring in some players who can win in the clutch!
Anyhow, I just saw a news clip of the World Series Champion Marlins on TV. They were returning to Ft Lauderdale, coming home to their adoring fans, dressed in short sleeves, wearing sunglasses. It's cold and rainy here in Boston. I want to live in Ft Lauderdale and be a Marlins fan.
I read Joe Lieberman's position paper in the WSJ this morning. He wants to raise taxes on 2% of the voters - people earning more than $200,000 per year. As if that will solve our economic problems. It is deceiving math. In the misguided liberal zeal for wealth distribution, the results are to move money from the really rich to near-rich. We all know that the super-rich will do anything to avoid paying taxes to the government, even if it means spending huge sums of money on high-priced lawyers and accountants to find loopholes. Maybe we should just agree to cut everyone's taxes for two years and see if it works? My belief is that the rich will spend the money on stuff - which creates jobs for those of us who are not accountants and lawyers.
There was a photo of Mike Tyson at a basketball game holding up a "Free Kobe" sign. If I was Kobe, I would request Tyson to cease and desist. Cripes, the only worse thing would be to have Bill Clinton vouching for his character: "He never had sex with that teen whore."
I am sitting here today wishing I was a Marlins fan. The Boston team was knocked out of the running by the New York team in the playoffs. I admit that at first, it bothered my that "my" team lost. Then, I realized that there was no reason to allow it to affect my day.
Why should I give a sweet shit what the Boston Red Sox do? They really have nothing to do with me. And hardly anything to do with Boston, other than the fact that members of the team and some owners are temporary residents of Our Fair City. Grady Little, the (almost former) Manager hails from the cotton fields of Alabama or is it North Carolina? Who cares? Most of the player names are unfamiliar to me. Few of them were actually raised in New England, much less Boston. Next year many of them will be someplace else.
The Boston Red Sox is just another entertainment Company. The players are just employees. There is no loyalty anywhere in this business. Popular players are traded off like coeds at a frat party. Management and coaches are fired, retired or replaced at the drop of a hat. Whining overpaid prima donnas even go on strike every few years, because of the terrible oppression by league managers.
Fans are just poor saps who have more cash than good sense, who layout big bucks to watch these professionals working. And buy their "gear." Would anyone buy a picture of me looking words up in my Thesaurus?
And, What the heck does the success or failure of a company have to do with my happiness or well being? If the new Walt Disney movie flops, do I lose sleep or beat my breast in anguish? Well, I suppose if I owned stock in the company, I could care. But I don't and I don't.
All this crap about the bambino's curse is laughable. Grady Little didn't lose the game by leaving Pedro in too long in the eight inning. New York won the game in the eleventh inning. The freaking players lost the game! Fire them and bring in some players who can win in the clutch!
Anyhow, I just saw a news clip of the World Series Champion Marlins on TV. They were returning to Ft Lauderdale, coming home to their adoring fans, dressed in short sleeves, wearing sunglasses. It's cold and rainy here in Boston. I want to live in Ft Lauderdale and be a Marlins fan.
I read Joe Lieberman's position paper in the WSJ this morning. He wants to raise taxes on 2% of the voters - people earning more than $200,000 per year. As if that will solve our economic problems. It is deceiving math. In the misguided liberal zeal for wealth distribution, the results are to move money from the really rich to near-rich. We all know that the super-rich will do anything to avoid paying taxes to the government, even if it means spending huge sums of money on high-priced lawyers and accountants to find loopholes. Maybe we should just agree to cut everyone's taxes for two years and see if it works? My belief is that the rich will spend the money on stuff - which creates jobs for those of us who are not accountants and lawyers.
There was a photo of Mike Tyson at a basketball game holding up a "Free Kobe" sign. If I was Kobe, I would request Tyson to cease and desist. Cripes, the only worse thing would be to have Bill Clinton vouching for his character: "He never had sex with that teen whore."
10/18/2003
Still Searching for My Destiny
For some incomprehensible reason, the vast American employment machine has been unresponsive to my vigorous inquiries. I have networked extensively, posted my resume on literally several job boards, perused the help wanted ads in the sunday globe, and sat thoughtfully for hours in the back yard with a chilled beer and a self improvement book. (On many an occasion, I have lapsed into a self actualizing nap, dreaming, no doubt, of my next assignment as Commander).
But none of these activities has resulted in even a single interview, much less a job offer. Ok, maybe having lunch with the same people repeatedly does not qualify as "extensive" networking. And posting a resume on job boards seems to result in an increase in spam e-mails (especially multi-level-marketing opportunities and penis enlargement products.)
OK, maybe some of the prospective employers - who might yearn to have an aging, insubordinate, "no limits" fat guy on their staff - are put-off by my demands for exhorbitant compensation, superior benefits, and an attractive, buxom secretary.
But, should I "settle" for an inferior situation? I think not.
But none of these activities has resulted in even a single interview, much less a job offer. Ok, maybe having lunch with the same people repeatedly does not qualify as "extensive" networking. And posting a resume on job boards seems to result in an increase in spam e-mails (especially multi-level-marketing opportunities and penis enlargement products.)
OK, maybe some of the prospective employers - who might yearn to have an aging, insubordinate, "no limits" fat guy on their staff - are put-off by my demands for exhorbitant compensation, superior benefits, and an attractive, buxom secretary.
But, should I "settle" for an inferior situation? I think not.
10/17/2003
Close Call
Ok, I stayed up until 12:23 and watched the whole game. It was exciting, and the Sox were most certainly "in there", until they lost in the 11th inning. So, while I was not really hoping for a Red Sox loss, it does let me off the hook regarding the vow to apply for a holiday job in retail if they beat New York.
I feel sorry for the real fans who watched them all year long. And the idiots who got swept up in the fever at the end of the season. And the Bozo's who hocked grandma's silver to get the money to purchase playoff or world series tickets on E-bay. But the outcome was never in doubt. Those of us who have watched them for many years knew...not to believe.
Rather than dump on the manager who left Pedro in the game too long, or blaming the fielding errors, I am content to recall that we got some post season excitement, and a great effort from a bunch of overpaid, whining, disapponting losers.
In one sense things are much better. Now we can get back to watching football without the distraction of those futile hopes of victory.
I feel sorry for the real fans who watched them all year long. And the idiots who got swept up in the fever at the end of the season. And the Bozo's who hocked grandma's silver to get the money to purchase playoff or world series tickets on E-bay. But the outcome was never in doubt. Those of us who have watched them for many years knew...not to believe.
Rather than dump on the manager who left Pedro in the game too long, or blaming the fielding errors, I am content to recall that we got some post season excitement, and a great effort from a bunch of overpaid, whining, disapponting losers.
In one sense things are much better. Now we can get back to watching football without the distraction of those futile hopes of victory.
10/15/2003
My New Job
Ha ha I was just kidding. The past week has been well spent thinking about how nice it would be to win the Megabucks lottery. Unlike some unworthy souls, I would make a great millionaire. I would share a lot of it with other people and buy a big house near the beach. If that doesn't qualify me as a deserving person, I don't know what would.
The red sox just won game 6, so the agony will go on for at least one more game. I hope they lose, so I will not have to honor my vow to apply for a holiday retail job. On the other hand....
The red sox just won game 6, so the agony will go on for at least one more game. I hope they lose, so I will not have to honor my vow to apply for a holiday retail job. On the other hand....
10/08/2003
Fairweather Fan
Ok,Ok.
I have been besieged by fans of this blog to admit that I was wrong about the Red Sox. Ok, I admit it: I was wrong. They cowboyed up and won three games in a row. Are you happy now? I am glad to be wrong. And I also lied about not watching the games. I did watch them. (But I did not watch any pregame shows. Does anyone?)
I hate to rain on your little parades out there, but anyone who believes that the Sox will beat the Yankees is counting on freakish luck. They just squeaked by these Oakland guys and NY has been in first place all year. (If the Sox win the ALCS, I will apply for a holiday job in Retail as my penance. (Will you be using your Sears Card for that tummy-hiding girdle madam? )
I saw on the news last night that tickets to the ALCS games at Fenway are priced from several hundred dollars to as much as $5,000. What kind of moron would spend that kind of money to sit in seats that are too small, munching a $5.00 hot dog and gulping a watered down, overpriced beer. A "priceless" experience? I think not.
In contrast, I will watch the games for free. Parking $0. Distance to Bathroom from my seat: 20ft. Lines: 0 Food: Unlimited and reasonably priced. Beer: ditto.
Annoying fans sitting next to me: 2 (cats, wanting attention).
Somebody tell me, What am I missing? You want fries with that? (just practicing).
I have been besieged by fans of this blog to admit that I was wrong about the Red Sox. Ok, I admit it: I was wrong. They cowboyed up and won three games in a row. Are you happy now? I am glad to be wrong. And I also lied about not watching the games. I did watch them. (But I did not watch any pregame shows. Does anyone?)
I hate to rain on your little parades out there, but anyone who believes that the Sox will beat the Yankees is counting on freakish luck. They just squeaked by these Oakland guys and NY has been in first place all year. (If the Sox win the ALCS, I will apply for a holiday job in Retail as my penance. (Will you be using your Sears Card for that tummy-hiding girdle madam? )
I saw on the news last night that tickets to the ALCS games at Fenway are priced from several hundred dollars to as much as $5,000. What kind of moron would spend that kind of money to sit in seats that are too small, munching a $5.00 hot dog and gulping a watered down, overpriced beer. A "priceless" experience? I think not.
In contrast, I will watch the games for free. Parking $0. Distance to Bathroom from my seat: 20ft. Lines: 0 Food: Unlimited and reasonably priced. Beer: ditto.
Annoying fans sitting next to me: 2 (cats, wanting attention).
Somebody tell me, What am I missing? You want fries with that? (just practicing).
10/06/2003
More Jobs Lost to Wild Animal Attacks
Last week it was an escaped Gorilla in Boston sending an otherwise calm city into abject panic. And there were bear sightings in the western hills. A cougar on the loose in the Northern suburbs.
Now we have 260 odd people thrown out of work when Siegfried's partner Roy was mauled by a white Bengal Tiger onstage in Las Vegas. It was the event that people had been waiting for since the act started at the Mirage in 1990. But that is little comfort to the hundreds of people who are losing their jobs. What jobs? How can it take 260 people to feed a couple of tigers and empty some (large) litter boxes? These are mysteries which we want explained.
How many more must lose jobs before we stop the madness?
Now we have 260 odd people thrown out of work when Siegfried's partner Roy was mauled by a white Bengal Tiger onstage in Las Vegas. It was the event that people had been waiting for since the act started at the Mirage in 1990. But that is little comfort to the hundreds of people who are losing their jobs. What jobs? How can it take 260 people to feed a couple of tigers and empty some (large) litter boxes? These are mysteries which we want explained.
How many more must lose jobs before we stop the madness?
Fluke
Ok, the Red Sox won two games - both by a single run. No way they will win tonight in Oakland even with Pedro pitching. They can't get hits.
Don't even watch. I'm going to watch Reno 911 re-runs on the comedy channel.
Go Pats!
Don't even watch. I'm going to watch Reno 911 re-runs on the comedy channel.
Go Pats!
10/03/2003
Killing Frost
In anticipation of the first frost which was forecast last night, I spent a few hours yesterday, dismantling the tomato vines, picking off any fruits that looked tennis ball size or bigger. I have about ten pounds of greenies. These will be stored in a cool place wrapped in newspapers and allowed to ripen naturaly at their own pace. With any luck I will still have delicious ripe tomatoes for my salads until thanksgiving. The vines which have been so kind to me this season were mercilessly chopped-up and put onto the compost pile. Recycle Gold for next year.
When I got up this morning it was clear that it did not get cold enough last night to kill the annuals. Another case of weathermen trying to capture the attention of viewers by playing up the disastrous possibilities? Well, no matter. I got something done!
The only thing that died last night was the lingering hope that the Red Sox would indeed show up to play the Oaklands in game two. I am not surprised. They always choke; and it is good that they get it over quickly. The plausabilty of them winning the next three in a row is about as likely as Rush Limbaugh saying something nice about Ted Kennedy.
I refuse to watch any more games until the World Series starts. Not that it matters.
When I got up this morning it was clear that it did not get cold enough last night to kill the annuals. Another case of weathermen trying to capture the attention of viewers by playing up the disastrous possibilities? Well, no matter. I got something done!
The only thing that died last night was the lingering hope that the Red Sox would indeed show up to play the Oaklands in game two. I am not surprised. They always choke; and it is good that they get it over quickly. The plausabilty of them winning the next three in a row is about as likely as Rush Limbaugh saying something nice about Ted Kennedy.
I refuse to watch any more games until the World Series starts. Not that it matters.
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