Public Education

Sorry to those of you who depend on my postings to lift the dreariness of your workaday life. I have been wrapped-up in my own mundane existence recently, and have not had much spare time for opining on the bizarre behavior of others.

Since I have returned to the workforce several months ago, I have refrained from commenting on my job or the organization, lest someone of poor humor find my observations to be worthy grounds for involuntary termination. Please do not take this lack of commentary as an indicator that I have at last found a position worthy of my skills and ambitions. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The best thing about my part-time situation is the 20 hour work schedule. The worst thing is that it is basically a retail business that involves working with the public. The "public" means for every ten people you deal with, 2 are enjoyable, 6 are OK and 2 are odious bad-tempered shits.

If I could find a part-time job as a systems analyst or other information professional, within my commute range, at a higher wage, I would jump at it. But such opportunities are pretty rare. I don't know why this is the case. Some observers have suggested that I increase my acceptable commute range beyond a 10-minute ride, but I have my priorities!

If I was a local business or IT manager I would definitely consider hiring experienced low -maintenance old guys, willing to solve problems for cheap money, without benefits for, say, 3 days a week. I'm thinking the current economic situation is going to make it even harder to find someone willing to try a new - potentially more effective - model for work.

So, I just keep my mouth shut and go to work at my retail job. My favorite pub is on the way home, so, life is not so bad.

Most professional people have never worked at a job where there is a counter and an expectation of customer service. These lucky cube dwellers never realize how rude and obnoxious the general public can be. If you have ever sneered at a clerk or stiffed the pizza delivery guy you probably thought they were bumbling oafs - not somebody's mother or a neighbor's kid who was trying their best to do the right thing.

For example, if you encountered me at my part time job, you might regard me as a nice, friendly, well-meaning, old, incompetent fart -- never realizing that I am in fact ornery, extremely competent and fully in control of my bodily gasses. The core reason for your misunderstanding about me is the ancient, poorly designed business process that I am obligated to follow.

Instead of rendering to you exemplary customer service - because your satisfaction is my highest ambition - I am presented with an obstacle course/maze of badly designed systems and processes through which I must find my way (while you wait, impatiently, drumming your fingers on the counter) in order to take your money and give you a receipt and the proper change.

As a sophisticated customer, in the age of bar-coding, Blackberry and IPod, you probably expect the customer service interaction to be smooth and effective. When it does not meet your expectations, you naturally consider the person on the other side of the counter to be a dolt. (I do not blame you for thinking this way, I only hope you can refrain from actually treating the poor retail drone as a dolt.)

Retail management should be the object of your derision and mockery. They are the figures who sit in posh corporate offices, deciding not to spend the cost of 1 hour of programming to save 10 unnecessary clicks on every sale in the cashiering program that processes 10,000 transactions a week.

That and their dumbass customer service surveys. You should know that if you did not like the service, please never fill-out a survey. It will not improve things if you rate your experience as less than 100% satisfied. These surveys are just used as a baseball bat to punish the most innocent victim in the food chain - the poor shmuck whose job is to deliver a bad product to you. If you want to improve things, always talk to the boss directly and do not blame your clerk/waiter/delivery guy.

So, gentle readers, my re-entry into the working world of retail has been a learning experience for me. Not always inspirational, but it has given me a good reason to shower and shave every few days. Someday, I may be able to use some of this material, And we have not even begun to talk about my coworkers.

Please, don't get me started....