Failure is one of many options

I had an interview for a part time professional job a few weeks ago at a local academic research institute. I did well on 3 of the interviews; the 4Th turned out to be the proverbial interview from hell. It was one of the most uncomfortable hours of my adult life, being grilled by a potential colleague who believed that the successful candidate should have a PhD in Statistics or, at very least, to understand how to use those Excel spreadsheet stat functions that I never learned. I was given a piece of paper and asked to plot the curve of some data that were in an array. It was like an SAT exam question. I drew a happy face, hoping I could charm my way out of this sticky situation. She was not impressed. It was clear from her icy demeanor and Gitmo style interrogation methods that I was NOT what she was looking for. I am not exaggerating - I was actually water-boarded - and my copy of the "Statistics 101 for Dummies" was flushed down a toilet!


I'm sure she gave me a big fat F. I did not get an offer.

The good news is: I will not have the prospect of daily contact with a hostile, nitpicking micromanaging colleague to make my life miserable. Not to mention, parking would have been a nightmare. (I racked-up $33 in parking costs on my three visits, not to mention the probable brain damage during the statistics torture session.)


The experience has reminded me that life is short; and maybe a guy who has spent more than 30 years writing business requirements, specifying data conversions, designing reports and worrying about data integrity - maybe this guy should go sit on a beach and stop trying to get a real job.

St Patrick's Day 2009

Last year at this time, we were on the western side of Kauai. I noticed that St Paddy's Day is not a big deal over there, despite the similarities between Ireland and Hawaii. Both are ancient civilizations who still strongly believe in spirits and sprites. Hawaii, like Ireland, does not have indigenous snakes - who drove them out? St. Iniki?

Anyhow, to tell the truth, I would rather be in Hawaii today enjoying the 80 degree beaches, than here in Boston where it is currently 34 degrees. On the plus side, I have a sixer of Harp in the fridge and an invite tonight for GWP's home-corned beef for the annual dinner (which we missed last year).

How about a bit o' poetry to celebrate the day?

St. Patrick’s Day

Fake Irishmen wearing silly green ties
Calling with bad brogues
for a wee dram of green beer
In bars festooned with shamrocks
Pipes and cartoon leprechauns they
Sing-a-long to a verse of Danny Boy
Like tone deaf drunken goats,
They set the dogs to barking
With their droning tura-lura-lura

Amateurs: they end-up
puking on their Italian loafers
waking-up late for work
the next day in a hangover fog

Grandsons of the famines
Endure this minstrel show
With a mirthless grin
We stay to ourselves
Washing shots of Bushmills
Down with a beer
Glad not to be thinking
About the days
When Irish need not apply.

Yes We Can

I bought a package of underwear today at Sears. I only mention this because by the end of the day , the stock market jumped 379 points.

Could this be the start of the hoped-for rally that has been predicted? I am no economist but I am pretty sure that if everyone out there would just go to a retail store tomorrow and buy something, the economy will start to improve.

Look I bought $15 worth of underwear and the Dow went up 379 points.
Tomorrow, I'm going to shop for socks.

What are you doing to help?

Bail-out the Boomers

I have an alternative to some of those pork barrel projects that the Obama congress has recently approved as part of the Stimulus Plan. You know the ones I am referring to - that do nothing to stimulate the economy - like funding more social services and roads to nowhere and giving raises to bureaucrats

New law, Boomer Relief Bailout retroactive to Jan 2009: Anyone eligible for IRA distributions, whose taxable income from all sources is less that 250K per year will be allowed to take ordinary distributions up to $20,000 from an IRA/401K tax free!
The effect of this law would free-up money that many retirees are rat-holing because they are reluctant to expose it to IRS taxes. The Gov't wants to stimulate the economy, and this would inject billions of dollars into the economy now - instead of waiting for it to be distributed years down the road, squandered on nursing homes and depends.

In the long run this would cost a lot less than imposing new taxes on a beleaguered generation. This plan would also afford some relief to the low-middle income group (many of whom have already lost up to half of their retirement nest egg in the past 18 months.)

Many people would be eager to take out a "tax free" $20K and take a trip, put a down payment on a house, install replacement windows or buy a car!

This would help to save America! Are you listening John Kerry? Barney Frank? Ferris Beuller?