Friendship in the Age of Disconnect

 We enjoy the company of others with whom we share:

• A sense of humor
• A Willingness to listen
• Interests
• Purpose
• Ethical values
• Respect
• Experience

It seems to me that you have to check at least 3 of these boxes to qualify as a friend.  Perhaps this explains why we are drifting apart from those whose company is no longer sought.

To argue enjoyably is to (at least)  agree on the ground rules, source of Truth, definitions of words.  These traditional standards have been abandoned in this highly charged atmosphere of moral outrage.  

Some Liberals are just as thick as their opponents.  They do not present an argument; they preach at you, and tell you what to think.     People don't like to be told what to think, especially when the new idea contradicts long-held beliefs and values. 

"Political Correctness" has long gripped the "mainstream media" and their followers.   The unrealistic goal of never offending any individual or group has driven the Thought Police to shame and ridicule anyone with a sense of humor or who ignores the new rules.  Is it any wonder that half the population (the un-woke) think PC is a pile of steaming offal.

On the Conservative side, it is hard to encounter a moderate these days.  MAGA (and worse) have no empathy beyond the boundaries of their tribes.  Absurd and debunked conspiracy theories are freely shared as if they are proven facts.  They dismiss any attempt to point-out the moronic policies of their autocratic leader as "Trump Derangement Syndrome." It never occurs to them that for years, they constantly disparaged Biden, Harris, Senator Warren and others with the same mindless denial they accuse you of.  

  When we belittle and show disdain for others' beliefs, they cling more tightly to them.  Facts have no effect on beliefs, so we just waste our time trying to prove that our friend's misinformed opinions are flat wrong.   

Theoretically, real friends can argue a point of view without making it personal.   But I have trouble connecting with those who will not acknowledge the humanity of others who are struggling.  It is too easy to label strangers as negative caricatures and villains.       

So, one is left with the famous quote from Rodney King: "Why can't we all just get along?"

The easy answer is:  We are unable to put ourselves in others' shoes.

The hard answer is:   We are nasty, brutish and short (of human decency).