How Do You Like My Tan?
Ok fans, relax. I am back from my travels to the Cape and Island. I have managed to stay in the shade during all those hot sweltering days, swigging on beers or gin 'n tonics while other mad dogs and Englishmen went out and exposed their flesh to the ravages of the blazing sun. Strange that so many white people spend so much time lusting after that perfect tan. I do not deny that tanned skin looks good, but as an EPA (Exceptionally Pale American) I am incapable of getting anything but a hue which resembles a cooked lobster.

We had a great time, despite having our credit card cancelled due to "suspicious activity" - someone had used our visa number to buy stuff on the Internet. Then, there was the unfortunate septic tank incident. I will spare you the disgusting details, but I can say that I learned that it costs $250 to have a 1,000 gallon septic tank pumped out on an emergency basis - it only costs $150 if you schedule the sucking during normal business hours. By the way, they want payment immediately or they threaten to pump it all back in.
Suffice to say, there was a dicy time when 6 adults, many of whom had been drinking liters of Marguaritas, needed to find alternative facilities for certain bodily functions. Fortunately, we were only a short van ride to the Mall restrooms. That was Monday. The next day, the sun came out, and the rest of the week was shit free. Wherever you were, it was delightfully cooler on the cape. We went to the national seashore, Martha's Vineyard, and local beaches, using 50spf sunblocker when we were forced to be in the sun. ($1.99 at Christmas Tree Shops)

We returned on Sunday, to an overgrown lawn, a garden seriously in need of weeding and 3 cats who pretended we were total strangers. They hid under the bed and would not come down until they heard dry cat food clinking in their bowls. They were probably pissed off at being left behind, even though we had a licensed veterinary assistant check on them every day. She also watered the parched gardens, so the tomato crop was saved from dessication during those horrid hot days.

One of the messages on our answering machine was from Zoots. They had noticed that I hadn't been to the Wellesley store for a while, and they were wondering if anything was wrong. I guess the economy is starting to reflect my diminished need for starched and pressed shirts.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with an old business associate who was interested in my "freelance writer" status. It was chilling, because, Lord knows, this type of discussion could unfortunately lead to w-w-work. There I said it. Part of me is flattered to know that people are still interested in paying me money for my efforts. But, it's too soon. I haven't even made a dent in my personal "To-Do" list. In the end, Judy reminds me, I should not pass up the opportunity to earn money. Zoots, and the local economy is counting on me.