HHU Exams

A lot of fans have been writing to the Hellhole mailbox asking to know how they can identify when their own workplace is a hellhole or how they can identify the signs of an impending hellhole. As usual, I have figured all this stuff out and have devised a nifty test to assist my loyal hellhole readers and others who may crave guidance.
The answers are Multiple Choice
Q: How can you tell that you work at a Hellhole?

1) At Lunch, you say to your coworkers, "This is an interesting project." They look at each other knowingly and start to laugh, like you are the most naïve shit who ever showed up at this fucked-up organization.

2) Within a few weeks of starting work, your boss's boss calls you confidentially to offer you your boss's job. He is looking for a micromanager to be more of a hardass with the other team members; you decline, citing your incompetence as a supervisor, but privately you wonder why he just will not get out of the way and let the guys do their jobs.

3) At meetings, you hear Management types talk about people as if they were lawnmowers. Start em up and start cutting the grass. Cripes, How hard can iot be o develop a working business application on the web?

4) None of the smart babes wear make-up, because they know this intimidates men. (Or maybe they are lesbians. Who can tell?)

5) All the green card contractors call you "Sir." Even though you insist that you are lowly pond scum, just like they are.

6) The commute typically robs between 1 and 2 hours of your day (and life) roundtrip. Not to mention the gas. Plus the costs of automotive fuel. :)

3) The deadline for "go-live" is less than 30 days away and management is occupying important conference room space in heavy-duty meetings devising a project plan.

7) Your management hierarchy becomes very visible as they attend every piddling issue meeting but spend most of the time in the hall on their cell phone just outside of the conference room ensuring that you cannot escape. Their message: How can I help you? Why can't you handle it? Faster,

8) The meetings become so intense that there is not time to take a lunch break, so you have to grab a sandwich and eat it during the meeting and go to the bathroom only if you must.

9) You cannot help thinking about the Challenger Disaster where the only goal for the project team was launch. (The successful return of the crew was another team's responsibility. ) You probably thought that everyone knew this was a bad way to manage projects that could be unstable after they "get off the ground".
10) You start having those Titanic dreams again.

11) All of the above.

Ok Turn in your Blue Books Now