It is that dreaded time of year again. Each year ,when December comes around, we get a reminder from the Animal Hospital that it is once again time for Angryclaws to go and get her rabies shot. Each year we put off the inevitable as long as we can, but as the days get shorter and shorter we face up.
It usually takes two or three tries to capture and cage her for the journey to the Vet's. You would be surprised how difficult it is to restrain a small un-sedated Siamese cat. The Vet is very reluctant to give us sleepy pills for the cat – I don’t know why.
My wife suspects that they regard us as perhaps unworthy of cat ownership since we seem to have so much trouble managing such a simple task as bringing a small cat to get her annual shots. They do not believe my daemonic possession theory, but I am sticking to it.
Naturally, after the trauma of being caught and caged – which always involves a chase and entrapment by a big guy with oven mitts for hands - she is eventually caged, then the car ride to the vet’s office, then is placed on that cold stainless steel examination table, Angryclaws is paralyzed by fear and seems like the most docile compliant little darling the Vet has ever encountered. She even lets the vet trim her talon-like claws. Nice little kitty, they say.
Last year, we almost had to face a judge to answer for our bad-owner crimes. We do not want that to happen again. So, this year we have promised ourselves to get her to the Vets early so she can get the multi year shot. My wife thinks the cats are clairvoyant. On the morning of the appointment with the vet, they are nowhere to be seen. They will not come out for food or other enticement. There have been no clues – the cage has not been brought up from the basement yet.
“Maybe they can read the calendar,” I suggest.
“No, they are the devil, " she says, while swabbing hydrogen peroxide on the deep scratch she received from Angry-Claws during this morning's struggle. With her good hand, she dials the vet to tell them that we can’t make our appointment again this year.
We imagine the staff at the Animal Hospital shaking their collective heads. They judge us to be incompetent. Maybe the feline social service agency will come and take the cats away. Please God!
12/15/2007
12/13/2007
What's Next Dept.
News Item: “London. A lock of John Lennon's hair sold for $48,000 Wednesday in an auction of Beatles' memorabilia…”
Have I got a deal! 20 Locks of my hair for $19.99. Assorted fingernail clippings $4.99
And bodily fluids – Priceless! Please include the nonrefundable fee of only $9.99 for shipping and handling. Visa and MC accepted.
Have I got a deal! 20 Locks of my hair for $19.99. Assorted fingernail clippings $4.99
And bodily fluids – Priceless! Please include the nonrefundable fee of only $9.99 for shipping and handling. Visa and MC accepted.
12/10/2007
Granny Git Yur Gun
News Item: "Orlando, FL ...A 63-year-old grandmother was released from the Orange County jail Monday morning. Mary Ann Richardson of Pennsylvania was arrested for trying to take a loaded handgun into a Disney theme park."
Finally, the justification for checking old ladies' handbags. Guards everywhere must be feeling just a bit more self-righteous than usual today.
http://www.wftv.com/news/14808302/detail.html?iref=werecommend
12/09/2007
Shooting Galleria
"(CNN) -- Colorado police were searching Sunday for a gunman who opened fire at a live-in training center for Christian missionaries, wounding four youths, a police spokeswoman said."
The lamest of arguments by pro-gunners in the most recent Midwest mall shooting was "If more people were armed, someone might have stopped the killer." This is a fictitious absurdity that defies every test of logic and human understanding. Name me one pistol-carrying citizen - other than Bruce Willis - who would engage in a gun battle with a lunatic wielding an AK-47 ?
Don't get me wrong; I am not anti-gun. On the contrary, I believe that sane adult citizens who are not convicted criminals ought to be able to have defensive weapons sufficient to protect their life and property. I do not think AK-47's and Bazooka's fit the definition of defensive weapons.
The chief problem for me is: how do you keep a defensive weapon accessible to the adult in charge in the event of a home invasion, but not in a place/condition where a young inquisitive kid or grand kid might be able to pull the trigger? Weapons are perfectly safe especially when unloaded and stored in a locked cabinet.
There are many areas of the US where hunting for wild game is part of the local culture. I do not see why this needs to change. But, does any thoughtful person think that the second amendment was worded the way it was because the Founding Fathers wanted to ensure that every citizen would always have the right to keep and bear weapons of mass destruction?
Meanwhile, I am staying on the couch watching football all day today. It is not safe to go outside.
Here we go: Another crazed gunman in the news this morning. I guess if someone needs to go out and shoot someone, religious extremists in training would get my vote as the most logical targets. Ok. that was a joke. Please don't get me fired.
I was just thinking: With all of the recent public shooting incidents, even the most rabid Gun-rights-advocates must feel a smidgen of doubt as to whether it is a good thing to allow any crazoid with the price of a Saturday night special to exercise his unfettered "right to carry".
The lamest of arguments by pro-gunners in the most recent Midwest mall shooting was "If more people were armed, someone might have stopped the killer." This is a fictitious absurdity that defies every test of logic and human understanding. Name me one pistol-carrying citizen - other than Bruce Willis - who would engage in a gun battle with a lunatic wielding an AK-47 ?
Don't get me wrong; I am not anti-gun. On the contrary, I believe that sane adult citizens who are not convicted criminals ought to be able to have defensive weapons sufficient to protect their life and property. I do not think AK-47's and Bazooka's fit the definition of defensive weapons.
The chief problem for me is: how do you keep a defensive weapon accessible to the adult in charge in the event of a home invasion, but not in a place/condition where a young inquisitive kid or grand kid might be able to pull the trigger? Weapons are perfectly safe especially when unloaded and stored in a locked cabinet.
There are many areas of the US where hunting for wild game is part of the local culture. I do not see why this needs to change. But, does any thoughtful person think that the second amendment was worded the way it was because the Founding Fathers wanted to ensure that every citizen would always have the right to keep and bear weapons of mass destruction?
When asked about his weapon ownership at the last debate, Fred Thompson refused to disclose the types or locations of weapons he owned this got a cheer from the NRA die-hards. This was a manifestation of another pretzel-logic interpretation of the intent of the founding fathers -- that they wanted citizens to be privately armed (i.e., as a militia) a safeguard against totalitarian government.
The idea of armed revolt borders on silly when you think of trying to mount a take-over in a modern country like the USA. The government already violates every one of your god-given rights every day. They would come and crush your little revolt before coffee break time. I dare you to do something about it!
Meanwhile, I am staying on the couch watching football all day today. It is not safe to go outside.
12/04/2007
Stolen
If New England goes on to enjoy an "undefeated" record this season, there should always be an asterisk to footnote the game against the Baltimore Ravens which the Patriots lost last night, despite the final score.
The game should have been over with the Ravens up by three points on a failed 4th down N.E. play in the final minute of the game. Then, to the shock and amazement of everyone, the play was called back because of a bonehead coach who had called for a time-out just as the ball was about to be snapped. Retainig possession, the patriots scored a few plays later.
If that wasn't enough, one of the Baltimore players incurred two 15 yard bad sportsmanship penalties for an untimely meltdown. That cost the Ravens a chance to return a kickoff. We'll never know if that made a difference but their special teams had been having some pretty good runbacks all night.
And still, the game ended with time running out on a hail mary pass that was caught on the two yard line. Two more yards and maybe 5 seconds would have made a big difference. Baltimore played an excellent game and everyone who watched the game knows that they wuz robbed.
The game should have been over with the Ravens up by three points on a failed 4th down N.E. play in the final minute of the game. Then, to the shock and amazement of everyone, the play was called back because of a bonehead coach who had called for a time-out just as the ball was about to be snapped. Retainig possession, the patriots scored a few plays later.
If that wasn't enough, one of the Baltimore players incurred two 15 yard bad sportsmanship penalties for an untimely meltdown. That cost the Ravens a chance to return a kickoff. We'll never know if that made a difference but their special teams had been having some pretty good runbacks all night.
And still, the game ended with time running out on a hail mary pass that was caught on the two yard line. Two more yards and maybe 5 seconds would have made a big difference. Baltimore played an excellent game and everyone who watched the game knows that they wuz robbed.
12/02/2007
Raking Leaves
Sunday. There was no Patriots game on TV today so I decided to work in the yard. I just came in from raking three tons of leaves that were blown into my front yard by yesterday’s wind. I don’t have any deciduous trees on my property – someone tell me why I have to rake all these leaves. (Sometimes I feel like going around the neighborhood and asking the neighbors to come and get their leaves. )
But, I guess sharing dog and tree droppings with your neighbors is just a few examples of the price one pays to live in the “leafy suburbs” - as the newspapers like to call the towns outside of the commuter parking lot (Route 128) that encircles Boston to the west.
The forecast for tonight is snow. It feels like it. The air is cold, still, full of moisture.
I am flushed from the invigoration of 3 hours of exercise. (No, dear, it’s not from the frosty Sierra Nevada that I am enjoying as I recount my afternoon's labors.)
I have always enjoyed raking leaves. It is one of those tasks that you can do and then point to the results. Look everyone, I made a difference. See how nice my lawn looks. Look at that pile of leaves!
Most of my working life was spent in the corporate arena. I was usually involved with info systems development projects in some sort of coordinating role. The fun parts where I was actually doing data analysis or defining systems requirements were considerably offset by hours of tedious, ego centric staff meetings or pressure-cooker emergencies created by some clueless, but powerful executive.
Sitting in stalled expressway traffic on the way home after a day of meetings and unnecessary stress, a voice would ask, “What have I accomplished?” Usually, the answer was something like “Well, I earned a day’s pay and I didn’t get fired.” Then I would come home and have a few scotches to help erase the indignity of working in a bureaucracy[1].
Given the sedentary and cyclical nature of my professional life, I always got a great deal of satisfaction from active tasks that gave a measurable result: Painting a wall, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, writing my blog – all these efforts produced a visible result. [2]
The other thing I just noticed about my list: I am my own boss.
-- er, what's that dear? Yes I'm almost done. No, this is only my first beer.
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[1] Since I have been “on sabbatical” I have reduced my alcohol consumption by 800%.
[2] Perhaps I would have been happier in my work life if I had been a builder….…of bridges.
But, I guess sharing dog and tree droppings with your neighbors is just a few examples of the price one pays to live in the “leafy suburbs” - as the newspapers like to call the towns outside of the commuter parking lot (Route 128) that encircles Boston to the west.
The forecast for tonight is snow. It feels like it. The air is cold, still, full of moisture.
I am flushed from the invigoration of 3 hours of exercise. (No, dear, it’s not from the frosty Sierra Nevada that I am enjoying as I recount my afternoon's labors.)
I have always enjoyed raking leaves. It is one of those tasks that you can do and then point to the results. Look everyone, I made a difference. See how nice my lawn looks. Look at that pile of leaves!
Most of my working life was spent in the corporate arena. I was usually involved with info systems development projects in some sort of coordinating role. The fun parts where I was actually doing data analysis or defining systems requirements were considerably offset by hours of tedious, ego centric staff meetings or pressure-cooker emergencies created by some clueless, but powerful executive.
Sitting in stalled expressway traffic on the way home after a day of meetings and unnecessary stress, a voice would ask, “What have I accomplished?” Usually, the answer was something like “Well, I earned a day’s pay and I didn’t get fired.” Then I would come home and have a few scotches to help erase the indignity of working in a bureaucracy[1].
Given the sedentary and cyclical nature of my professional life, I always got a great deal of satisfaction from active tasks that gave a measurable result: Painting a wall, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, writing my blog – all these efforts produced a visible result. [2]
The other thing I just noticed about my list: I am my own boss.
-- er, what's that dear? Yes I'm almost done. No, this is only my first beer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Since I have been “on sabbatical” I have reduced my alcohol consumption by 800%.
[2] Perhaps I would have been happier in my work life if I had been a builder….…of bridges.
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