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10/31/2008

Hallowe'en Thoughts

Obama's expensive infomercial on Wednesday night was a yawn. Instead of a hard-hitting 5 minute spot, it was a rehash of everything we already know. After what seemed like 2 hours, I shut it off to go and sort my socks. What a colossal waste of campaign contributions - that could have been more effectively spent buying votes through ACORN :-)
If there was ever a subliminal advertising spot designed to convince people not to waste their hard earned money on contributions to political campaigns, this had to be it.
Seriously folks, next time you are tempted to write a check for your fave candidate, you must realize that you are actually funding those nasty TV ads and dumbass feel-good spots that we all mock and deride. They take your hard-earned money and waste it with idiotic attacks and self-serving video masturbation.

This is all designed to make you forget that the American Presidential nomination and election process somehow manages to disqualify anyone who would actually be a great leader. We always end up with two candidates, neither of whom would be trusted to properly run your town's recycling and disposal facility (Dump), never mind becoming head honcho of the freaking nation.
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One that same vein, the poor schmuck who is running against John Kerry was in the news yesterday. Jeff Beatty, largely unknown Republican, who has been waging a fruitless campaign to try to knock-off John Kerry in the US senatorial election, finally gets a little press coverage in the Boston Globe. Not because of his political positions, but because his hapless campaign paid a fundraising outfit 96% of every dollar raised on his behalf. This is not money spent on campaign expenses, posters, ads or anything that might help the candidate. This was the cost of raising the money. Paying the guys who solicited just enough money to pay their own costs. Talk about a black hole!

Even Kerry would not be that clueless. This is sad. People give money to politicians thinking that they are helping some noble effort. Yet, the recipients have so little respect for the earned dollar that they squander the money in stupid ways. Next time you are tempted to do something charitable with your money, you would be better off going down to the corner bar, and buying rounds of drinks for total strangers. At least then your money would be doing some good. And you would have a few more friends.

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My conservative friends probably see tonight's festivities as just one more step in the American dance toward Socialism. The slide down a slippery slope will be manifested in the gatherings of youth, who will be dressed in masks and costume and who will go around banging on their neighbors' doors, demanding treats and threatening dire tricks to be played upon the unwilling. Assets will be confiscated. Kid-hating elderly will turn off their lights and cower in their beds. Evil spirits will laugh at our shrinking nest eggs. It is training for the little goblins and pirates to grow into young Marxists who will come to believe that what's yours is also theirs.

Scary thoughts. Some of us will dull the pain with a few beers to help us sleep through it all.

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