New Years resolutions are the tradition fodder for people who want to change something or accomplish some lofty goal. Studies* show that 75% of these resolutions become forgotten or abandoned within the first month. Virtually all resolutions fall by the wayside before 3 months have passed. Yet, being creatures of hope, people continue to dutifully write lists and consciously try to apply that self-discipline which is needed to reach the goal.
Generally my requisite resolutions repeat themselves from year to year: Travel more, write more, read good books, exercise and lose a few pounds, be nicer to telemarketers...and so on. In the past, these aspirations have evaporated like cat puke on a rug - within a few weeks.
But this year is different. This year, I did not make ANY resolutions. Thus I will not have to experience that gnawing sense of failure that most of you will feel as February draws to a close, and March rages like a lion, mocking your lack of productivity and weight loss. By April, you are slamming the phone down on telemarketers and beginning to hate that stack of unread books. Travel? Hah, June blows in like a lamb - and you have not even begun to plan that Cape vacation...
Not me, amigos. This year, instead of making resolutions we are making plans. We have already booked our getaway vacations for February in Florida and August on the Cape. Doubtless, by February I will be boasting that I am writing more, getting paid, losing weight, paying more attention to investments, reading good books, and learning a foreign language. By March, the taxes will be done, we will have trained the kitten NOT to jump on the counter and eat my eggs while I am taking a phone call. In June I will be counting my lottery winnings (and perhaps giving gift$ to my fans). By November we will be sending picture postcards back from Amalfi.
Yes, this is the year for accomplishment --- I can taste it like a 12 year old single malt scotch.
*The "Studies" I cite are - like most blog data - fictitious, fabricated to lend credence to specious factoids. (Papa always said never let the facts get in the way of a good story.)
Generally my requisite resolutions repeat themselves from year to year: Travel more, write more, read good books, exercise and lose a few pounds, be nicer to telemarketers...and so on. In the past, these aspirations have evaporated like cat puke on a rug - within a few weeks.
But this year is different. This year, I did not make ANY resolutions. Thus I will not have to experience that gnawing sense of failure that most of you will feel as February draws to a close, and March rages like a lion, mocking your lack of productivity and weight loss. By April, you are slamming the phone down on telemarketers and beginning to hate that stack of unread books. Travel? Hah, June blows in like a lamb - and you have not even begun to plan that Cape vacation...
Not me, amigos. This year, instead of making resolutions we are making plans. We have already booked our getaway vacations for February in Florida and August on the Cape. Doubtless, by February I will be boasting that I am writing more, getting paid, losing weight, paying more attention to investments, reading good books, and learning a foreign language. By March, the taxes will be done, we will have trained the kitten NOT to jump on the counter and eat my eggs while I am taking a phone call. In June I will be counting my lottery winnings (and perhaps giving gift$ to my fans). By November we will be sending picture postcards back from Amalfi.
Yes, this is the year for accomplishment --- I can taste it like a 12 year old single malt scotch.
*The "Studies" I cite are - like most blog data - fictitious, fabricated to lend credence to specious factoids. (Papa always said never let the facts get in the way of a good story.)
3 comments:
Dude I know what you mean about New Years resolutions.
They are so easy to make yet sooo easy to break. Mine was to go (as the court asked) to anger management class.
But frankly, F THAT.
Escape from Hellhole = Facebook Redux
Fletchers Castoria = Yawn
What the world really needs is a purgative for exesses of anti-Obama drivel.
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