Dear Loyal Facebook "Friend,"
No, I did not de-friend you. I de-activated my account.
I did not single you out to punish you because you cluttered up my home page with your endless "likes" and links to your favorite cause, or your bored twittering mindfarts, or the barrage of pictures of your cute kids, or your tedious political views.
Admittedly, some of these annoyances did play a part in my decision to deactivate my FB account, but the principal reason for my departure is that I am not female. FB is clearly a medium for chicks and mindless chick-chat.
I am starting a new social networking site for men called "Guybook."
You can't just sign up for it, you have to apply and then be selected by the elite group of alpha guys.
If you survive the rigorous hazing ritual, you get to post your thoughts on Guybook.
Actually, "thoughts" is a fancy way of saying "dirty jokes and pictures of naked girls."
On Guybook you don't have friends. Everyone is in competition. You get into fights by launching insults at other members. Cartoon avatars duke-it-out in simulated matches so you don't get hurt. We post football, golf, bowling scores, reviews of guy films, and competitive beer keg prices in your area. We talk about cars, boats and gadgets and guns. We like to shoot things - especially things that explode - like empty beer bottles.
We post favorite video clips from 3 Stooges movies, and you can download ringtones that sound like a fart.
We almost pee our pants laughing when someone says the word "boobs," "wiener" or "sphincter."
Guybook. It will be aimed at males with an emotional maturity age of about 8 or 9 - which covers pretty much most of the American male population who are not on Facebook.
Guybook. It's the next big thing.
4 comments:
I've often wished I could join a virtual "Fight Club". This could be it.
You forgot one thing ... we write blogs.
George,
If a conservative pedantic partisan writes a blog and no one reads it, is he still wrong?
Quixotic, isn't it?
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