Selections from The E-Mailbag

Dear Former Co-worker,

I just received your email, asking if I knew anyone who could help you in your annual (or is it semi-annual) job search.  How nice of you to think of me, even if I am just one of dozens of addresses on your email blast, I realize that personal notes are just too time-consuming for the anticipated payback.  Woefully inefficiant. 

If I was working myself, I might have contacts, but alas I too am unemployed.  I guess the big difference is that I chose to be unemployed, whereas you became unemployed because of someone else's choice.

Hard to figure why any organization would let you get way,  given the invaluable qualities that you demonstrate - that highly-developed sense of entitlement, relentess assertiveness, and that mono-maniacal energy that narcissists possess to accomplish their self-promoting goals.   These characteristics should be much valued by the hamster-brained sociopaths that populate the management ranks at most companies.

Well, it was great to hear from you again.  You can be sure that I will be spending literally minutes thinking of ways to help you, so you needn't follow-up with calls or more mass e-mails. I have always felt honored to be among the first hundred or so people that you contact each time you are looking for a new job. 

I do have a tip.  I just heard the UPS needs more package handlers at holiday time and they are staffing up to beat the band. I think you could do well there.  Don't bother to thank me.  Best of luck in your new job... and Happy Holidays.

Your Networking Contact