Apprentice Oyster Shucker

Not everyone has appreciation for raw oysters on the half shell. Personally, I avoid almost all forms of raw seafood. I come from the Larry Bird school of sushi philosophy -- "Back in Salt Lick, we call it bait." But, somewhere along the way, my wife and I were introduced to the delight of fresh raw oysters and became ardent fans of this lovely bivalve, served on a bed of crushed ice, with lemon wedges --often with cocktail sauce and horseradish. I recall one time when we were being served at a restaurant, the waitress asked, "Can I grab you some hot sauce?" I responded, "Why would anyone want to sully the taste of oysters with hot sauce?" She nodded her agreement, "Maybe someone who doesn't like oysters?" Why anyone who would pay the going rate of around $3 per, would drown the delicate flavor of an oyster with such an odious addition remains an eternal mystery. These days, I have eschewed any condiment beyond a few drops of fresh squeezed lemon juice. Ideally, this dish is accompanied by a dry* Tanqueray martini served straight-up with 3 giant queen olives. My wife prefers a fine** Sauvignon Blanc.

Before the pandemic, like a lot of you, we would go out to eat-in restaurants at least once a week. I won't claim that it was always fine dining, but on occasion, we would splurge for some place like Legal Seafoods, a pricy but excellent restaurant chain in our area. Several years ago, Legal had a wonderful promotion that they called "Six for six before six." Meaning that between four and six PM, you could get a tray of 6 oysters for $6. That promotion went on for a long time and we took advantage of it. We were gravely disappointed when they dropped that promotion. So we started our never-ending search for cheap oysters.

We started going to the Dolphin on Sundays where they offered oysters for $1 each which we call "Buck a shuck.". The normal price for these suckers is about $3 each which is a lot for a little glob of marine protoplasm.

All that changed with the pandemic. Fearful of even al fresco dining, we had gone oysterless for 8+ months.
My friend Rich came by a week ago, bringing with him a half a dozen fresh oysters which he had just received by courier from Damariscotta, Maine. He shucked them for us (in the backyard of course) and we were presented with a delight that we had not known since perhaps last March or even February. It was a wondrous treat, washed down with a cold Sierra Nevada. Heaven, I tell you.

Now, we are obsessed with the prospect of getting our own fresh oysters and having them at home.

Today, I am announcing that I have decided to become an apprentice oyster shucker. I have ordered an oyster knife and a protective glove online from Amazon, and have watched several YouTube videos showing how to shuck an oyster. Thus, I feel armed to venture forth into the world to actually buy oysters that someone else has not shucked. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

Feetnotes
When I was stationed in Wyoming some of the bars had a jar full of something called "mountain oysters". When I inquired about them I was informed that they were pickled sheep's testicles. That was a delicacy that I eschewed and got polish sausages instead.

*By "dry" I mean that the bartender pours a small amount of white vermouth into the martini glass, swishes it around to coat the glass and then pours out the vermouth before adding the gin.)
**By "fine" I mean expensive. By "expensive" I use the term when one glass costs the same as whole bottle of everyday Sauv Blanc. At Legal Seafoods this is usually the Cloudy Bay @ $14 a pop.