A Harrowing Experience  

An airline pilot once described his career flying big commercial aircraft as,"...years of tedium interspersed with moments of terror."   I feel the same way about being retired.  You might describe it as endless days of hum-drum (chores, scheduled activities, family contacts, shopping and waiting), punctuated by moments of panic (sudden medical events, lost keys, social anxiety).  

One does not often describe an experience as "Harrowing", but I find it an excellent word, and one worthy of our recent brush-with-certain-death this past Sunday night.   You might recall that the forecast from our crack team of Boston meteorologists were unanimous in their certainty that the "wintery mix" of precipitation would affect the areas West of Boston, beginning late Sunday evening.   We were assured that the snow would amount to a mere dusting to 1 inch overnight.  Thus informed with the best weather knowledge available, we decided to go, as planned at 2pm, to see our grandson, Vinny, perform in a matinee presentation of the play "Into the Breeches," at Worcester Academy Performance Center.

It was a great show, and we loved every minute of the 2+ hrs. However, when it was time to go home, we were surprised to find that there was a heavy snowstorm raging outside.  I brushed about 2 inches of snow off my van and began to head back to whence I came.  I was calm.  I've driven in snow all my adult life and though I don't enjoy it as much as the old days, I am still confident of my driving skills in harsh weather.  I'm no stranger to hilly terrain either, but as you may know, Worcester has hills that are ski-lift steep. 

Within a few blocks after turning out of Academy parking lot, we found ourselves looking down a hill that reminded me of that first high spot on a roller coaster, just before it hurtles down the track. There is a moment when you look down that vertical drop, and realize that you have made a big mistake.  Being manly, I stifled my roller coaster scream and proceeded to descend.  Did I mention that the snow on the ground was slick as cat shit on oil?  There were a few cars parked (or more likely, stranded) by the side and my minivan kept slipping and drifting dangerously toward them. About halfway down, I was losing traction and a feeling of panic began to intrude on my navigational confidence.  (Judy later confided to me that this was the point that she was certain that we were going to die).   We came close to colliding with multiple vehicles, but managed somehow to make it to the bottom unscathed and intact.  

It took us another hour to make it back to Wellesley, no one was going more than 25 MPH on the slippery roads.   Fortunately, there was strong drink in the pantry to calm our frayed nerves.  In retrospect, it was an experience that reminded us never to trust the weather forecasts in winter, and that there are still moments of terror hiding under a few inches of wet snow.

Perhaps this experience was not life-threatening, but it certainly was harrowing.  I heard on the news that there were more than eighty crashes in the Worcester hills that night.  We were lucky not to be in that number.

                                                                                                    DEN December 11, 2022

Positive Thinking

 So, one day you wake up one Friday morning  feeling more congested than usual. You are coughing. In the pre-pandemic days you might say to yourself "I think I'm getting a chest cold."  But, this is 2022 and you are in the high-risk category, so you take the time to check the symptoms: Just a dry cough and runny nose, achy, blah.  Not terribly significant, you think. You have lunch plans, but the sleet and snow put the kybosh on going out. 

Good news

On the second day, Saturday, you still feel a bit crappy.  Maybe you need to get tested.   You get one of those at-home antibody tests and swab away.  The results are good. There should be a "C" line but no "T" line.  Phew! that's a relief.  It's just a "normal" cold virus, after all.   The weather outside is still pretty bad, icy streets, so you stay in, again.  On the third day, Sunday, you are still feeling chest congestion and a bit achy - especially sore ribs from coughing.  Again, you lay low.  Normal appetite and temperature, so no cause for extreme worry.

Bad News

Monday, day 4, things have not improved. Now, you start to worry that this is not a mere cold.  Time for a re-test.  This time the results are a bit of a shock.  The dreaded "T" line appears after only 6 minutes.  That indicates Positive for COVID. 

So, now it is confirmed: you have joined the club you did not apply to.  Like many others, you secretly thought that you would be one of the folks whose natural defenses, plus the recommended shots, would get you through this pandemic unscathed.  But, now you wonder, what foolishness may have let the virus past the gates and into your lungs.  You try to trace your movements during the few days before you first noticed the cough.   This is a memory challenge for someone who cannot recall what they had for lunch yesterday.  You decide it must have been the Thursday lunch at your favorite Italian restaurant, when you and your wife sat at the bar and split a delicious lemon chicken dish.  That was the only time you can recall being indoors without a mask.  Of course there is no way to know for certain  how or where you picked up the virus.  

The rapid antigen test cannot discern what variant if COVID is present.  So you just assume it is Omricon, which seems to be the prevalent strain around here.  (How do they know?) Hopeful news is that the symptoms are mild.  The Health Care folks don't seem very interested in you unless you have severe symptoms.  No one with a medical degree recommends therapeutics, despite the fact that old fat guys are considered "high risk."

Anyhow, you quarantine, start taking Mucinex, which controls the cough and you push fluids (especially Sierra Nevada fluid) and rest up.  The wife must have super immunity, because she has no symptoms.  Because of the close contact, she has to cancel several social dates and classes and is pretty annoyed with you.

All in all, you feel pretty lucky that the symptoms have been mild, and you have family nearby to help.  In a way, you almost feel glad to get it over with. 

Too Much Brady Hype

 Am I the only one who thinks Tom Brady was a great QB who had a great career, but is not a God.  He threw interceptions, fumbled, got sacked.  He was a Professional athlete who played for Money, not because he loved his team or his fans.  I get that it is a worthy sports story, but why is it headlining national news?  If you tune-in to any mainstream news outlet today you would think that Tommy was solely responsible for the winning records enjoyed by teams when he was leader of the offense.  The defensive players who often kept the opponents' scores low, are seldom mentioned.    

.Football is a team sport.  When I look at a successful QB, I cannot help thinking of the other athletes on the team who blocked, caught passes, rushed the line, and protected the passer. I give credit to the coaches that designed plays, ran drills and helped prepare the team for the next game.  I recall that more than one of those Super bowl wins were won by the kicker. either  Adam Vinatieri and Steven Gostkowski.  Guys on the team that did their jobs.

Sports writers have to write about something, so media loves to raise personalities to Idol status. 

Brady set a bunch of records that will probably stand until the next GOAT comes along.  I wish him well. He made a lot of money.  It will be interesting to see what he does next.  It's pretty clear that he is not articulate enough to sit in the broadcast booth, or appear on one of those pre-game shows.  Maybe he would make a good coach?   Who knows.  He will always be #12 and one of the best QB's who played the game.

But he's no Payton Manning. 

Thoughts on the great resignation

 The COVID19 Pandemic has dominated our thinking now for almost two years.  Every aspect of our lives has changed to some degree. Those of us who took being healthy for granted have awakened to a new reality -- an awareness that no one is completely safe from a communicable disease unless one ceases all human contact.  Those who were already fearful or sick have endured the constant terror that the worst could happen at any moment.  

Granted the general availability of vaccines (since last January) has eased the fear of hospitalization and/or death, but the Pandemic is always there --a ravenous vulture sitting on a tree branch waiting for the right moment.  

A few white collars are going back to the office , (probably to get out of the house and get some work done), but a lot of workers and managers are realizing that, after avoiding the deadly daily commute back and forth for a year or more, they are reluctant to go back to the cage.  Many actually enjoyed reconnecting with families. a lot of min wage workers decided to move up to better paying jobs with benefits. 

Strangely, more than a few folks  are leaving jobs because they refuse to get vaccinated.  I say strangely, because there is no logical reason for most informed people to resist this lifesaving measure.   Okay, I admit that there is a lot of misinformation floating around, and for the gullible and stupid, no amount of facts will change their minds.  This is definitely a product of our current political environment:  What you believe depends on who you want running the country. This, of course, is a perverted mindset that has little to do with reason or common sense.

Many businesses have never recovered from the near total shut-downs that were enforced in the period before the general public could be vaccinated.  Some businesses that relied on in-person transactions with customers (Restaurants, Gyms, transportation services, etc.) never re-opened.  Those that have reopened are usually understaffed.   Those workers had a chance to think about their future.   I cannot fault anyone who aspires to a better position where the do not feel trapped.  I do fault the employers who took advantage of workers who were desperate to support themselves and their families.  Now those workers have options and are moving on.

It has been reported that more than 50% of currently employed teachers want to quit.  The reasons vary from COVID related regulations, to unhappy parents and general chaos.  Some corporate  employers are looking at these disgruntled teachers to fill open positions in HR and Training.  And on and on it goes.   

January Notebook

As 2022 starts ticking away, I am visited by the nagging awareness that I am six months away from my 80th birthday. You might think that the realization that I'm on the downward side of the hill would have me assessing my life and the meaning of it all, worrying about my legacy, putting my affairs in order. But no....  

I have long since given-up trying to find meaning in existence. I've come to accept that true understanding of concepts like infinity and eternity are beyond knowing to the minds of men. I would love to believe in an afterlife, higher power, or even UFO's. But, the evidence does not support such fantasies. 

What gives meaning to life anyway?   I do not require meaning in nature. I accept the randomness of it all. Scientific explanation for the physical world makes sense to my mind. As I contemplate my advanced age, I accept that my world is smaller. While some adventurers seek to walk on other planets, I am content to tread familiar paths, within walking distance. I cherish the ability to walk, realizing that it is an impermanent state.

Such concerns as my place in the universe, or was I a good father? do not haunt me. What is cannot be changed. As my grandfather would say to my grandmother's frequent harangues, "Anne, I'm doing the best I can; that's all you would expect of a horse." So it was, in work and life, I did the best I could at the time.

I accept that some doors have closed: I will not win the Nobel Prize for literature, or become US Open Tennis Champion.  Also, I do not ruminate about past events. The past cannot be undone.  I do acknowledge that my future is rooted in the past.  Smoking for 40+ years did not help my pulmonary function today, or tomorrow.  Ditto other unhealthy habits.  

Yet, there is still reason to remain optimistic.  Some bodily damage can be repaired. So can relationships.

Fortunately I do not have a list of regrets or evil deeds to repent.  I am content with my current self.  To go back and change any event in the past, would take me to another place.  I am not willing to risk ending up in that what-if place.