Irony, Sarcasm and Ink

I received an email from HP thanking me for using the HP Store to buy something and urging me to review the product --which was a yellow ink cartridge replacement for my printer.

Usually I ignore such silly requests to "share my experience," but I was feeling sarcastic so I racked my brain to find a truthful statement that I could make.  Finally I came up with:

★★★★★★★★★★4 out of 5 stars.

 

· 14 hours ago  

It fit the slot perfectly

I took it out of the package and inserted it into the yellow slot. It Fit! The official ink cartridges are too expensive but I had no choice, of course.

The editing board may have been counting stars rather than looking at content, so they published it on their website.  Looking further, I noted that I was not alone in mocking the review process:

★★★★★★★★★★5 out of 5 stars.

 

· a month ago  

It's Yellow1

I'm so happy that when I opened the package the ink was indeed yellow! Why am I being asked to review an ink cartridge?

★★★★★★★★★★5 out of 5 stars.

 

· 3 months ago  

It works

What can I say? It is an ink cartridge, and it works.

More enlightening was the number of reviewers extolling the benefits of buying overpriced ink cartridges ($35 each)

Funny World we live in.  Not ha-ha funny; more peculiar funny. 

Are People Dying be in Crowds?

 

 If the Lollapalooza gathering this weekend in Chicago does not prove to be a super-spreader event, I will have some renewed  confidence that the vaccine can limit the spread of Covid-19.   385,000 people actually paid money to stand cheek to cheek with total strangers to listen to some bands that I would not listen to for free.  Plus my aversion to large crowds which has nothing to do with the current pandemic, it's a chronic condition. (but I digress)

Officials claimed that 90% of the entrants showed proof of vaccination.  I'm skeptical that the checking for proof of Vax/Neg test was carried out rigorously.  I understand that there is a brisk online market in fake vaccine ids.    So I'll be watching the numbers carefully to see how this plays out.

There was an item on the news today that local officials are urging everyone who went to that event to get tested.   I guess we will know more in another week or ten days.  I've actually been at a loss to explain why more people are not getting sick after attending those crowded rallies, demonstrations, and parties.  Especially in unvaxed areas,-- logic would dictate a much higher spread rate.  Can anyone explain that?

================

FOLLOW-UP:   August 13, 2021

Chicago Sun Times: "Of the approximately 385,000 people who attended, 203 attendees have been diagnosed with COVID-19, the Chicago Department of Public Health Commissioner said Thursday during a news conference at City Hall. As of Wednesday, none of those who tested positive have had to be hospitalized or have died." 

Well, there you have it -- my fears were not justified by evidence. Or logic. ( I observed video of the check-in process, showing concert-goers filing past check-points holding a white card aloft. The rapid pace of the crowd did not allow any scrutiny of the data on the card. )
Thus, I was certain that many in the crowd were unvaxed and infected. Unless a substantial number of additional cases can be traced to this event, this data seems to support an amazing effectivity of the vaccine. Or it could be that the attendees had more natural immunity built up by listening to bad music? More study is clearly needed.

Misinformation

 There was a piece in the WSJ today titled "A false Narrative about Misinformation," by Robert Kaplan.  The takeaway is that Misinformation has had little effect on vaccination acceptance.  The article cites several polls and studies that compared the answers people gave before the pandemic to the current percent of the populace who remain unvaccinated.  The people who said they would not get a vaccination,  did not get the vaccination.  The numbers of vaccine skeptics did not increase because of  the  right wing  misinformation campaign, as one might fear.

No, these dunderheads were not influenced by any scientific facts or medical advice.  They simply saw the far-fetched lies as more evidence to support their previously-held opinions.  

No one has changed their mind, despite all the money spent by both sides to convince the other side that it was wrong.

We, the rightious, must also wonder if our own predispositions could be influencing the science and facts that we hold to be true.    

Everything we have learned about communicable disease can be summed-up in a few words: human interaction spreads the virus.  When you stop human interaction or get vaccinated  the disease cannot spread and it dies with it's last victim.    

This supports the wisdom of requiring  PROOF of vaccination before allowing anyone entry to any public place and especially all public transportation venues. 

======================================================

Post script Aug 7 2021

More corroboration of the observation that more factual information doesn't change opinions when it comes to vaccines:

https://news.yahoo.com/yougov-poll-vaccines-delta-210424125.html

"A survey of 1,552 U.S. adults, conducted from July 30 to Aug. 2, found that a full 40 percent of those who remain unvaccinated now believe that the COVID-19 vaccines, which rank among the safest ever produced, represent a bigger threat to their personal well-being than COVID-19 itself — even though more than 52,000 Americans are currently hospitalized because of the virus, nearly all of them unvaccinated, and more than 615,000 have already died from it."

Wrinkled

An Unsolicited Style Guide for Old Guys 

Mainstream media is obsessed with appearance.  Look at any section of the newspaper and you’ll find pictures of attractive people who are elegantly dressed, doing interesting things.  Outside of the obituary section you rarely find pictures of elderly people, and even in that section a lot of loved ones elect to publish pictures of the deceased when they were much younger. 

If you are like most of us old guys, you aren't cute anymore (and haven’t been for some time).   We cannot identify with pictures we see in magazine ads and catalogs.  Most male fashion models do not look like us.  We do not have beach tans, trimmed eyebrows or athletic legs.  We are out-of-shape, need a haircut and have bushy ear hair.  (Did you ever have to trim your ear hair and eyebrows when you were younger?  WTF?)   We do not identify with the “Trim” look.  We are wrinkled, we have food stains on our tee shirts.  We are always looking for a comfortable chair with a back.  Some of us in generation XL  eschew booths and places with unmovable seating like McDonalds -- because we don’t fit.  

Sure there are old guys out there who have a sense of style and they already know how to dress.  This advice is not for them.  They apparently enjoy torturing themselves with tight collars, flashy ties, scrupulously pressed shirts and pants, calf-high socks, tight leather shoes.  Let them walk their walk.  

My words are for the rest of us:  Full-figured guys, typically dressed in clothes that are at least  3 years old, probably bought off-season, several seasons ago.  

This advice is for the kind of guy who, after a lifetime of wearing the uniform dictated by one’s occupation, has come to the realization that comfort is the key to a happy life over 70.

Here are some of the key rules for comfortable seniority: 

- Comfort is key but you don’t want to look like your grandfather.
- Weather appropriate. (Shorts with No underwear is not okay.) 
- Clean clothes when going out of the house.  No Iron clothes may be a tad wrinkled; so what -- you are too.

Personal Hygiene Note:  It is critical to bathe regularly, people will notice if you don’t. Change underwear every day - or more often if needed. (As long as you’re showering, you might as well shave too.)

Hats can define you - I generally wear a baseball cap, the proper way with the bill in front.  If you wear it backwards, people are going to wonder what you are hiding on your neck.  It looks silly that way, but some clueless folks think it’s cool.  Don’t be one of those people.

 

Socks.  I’ve always thought that socks can be optional for most activities and venues.  With some exceptions such as funerals, or formal business meetings, let common sense be your guide.  Sockless feet can get sweaty and create odor, just sayin’.

Hair.   Don’t look like Bernie Sanders  or Boris Johnson.  Unkempt hair makes you look unhinged, which is the opposite of how you want to look.    Wash it regularly, and get a haircut monthly. 

Ear hair nose hair eyebrows.  If you are like me for sixty years I never had to trim my eyebrows or ear hair.  For some reason, as the hair on your head recedes, it starts growing in other places.* I have a theory about this.

Fingernails  people notice if they are too long or dirty, or chewed down to the cuticles..

 

Jewelry.  Minimal bling.  Nothing around the neck.  No piercings.  A watch and a ring should do it.

 

Cologne - Other than underarm deodorant,  avoid other  scents.  You do not need to smell like a french pimp.

 

Toenails and flip flops.  If you can’t reach your toenails go to a spa where you can get them trimmed.

Don't call attention to your legs or how you walk especially  if you have bow legs.

Breath mints  keep some in your car or carry-all .  (Yeah, it’s okay to carry stuff in a bag or kit, just don't refer to it as your man purse.)

Etiquette. At the table, avoid soups. They are messy and will inevitably stain your clean shirt.  It’s okay to use a napkin as a bib.  Like they did in Godfather.

Skin. Cover sun damaged arms and other unattractive places.  No one likes blotch.

Cigars.  Always ask before you light-up.  Do not punish people with evil stares if they register an objection.

Capes.  This guide is intended for straight guys , but whatever.  Gay guys already know a lot more about fashion than me.  Panache -- if you got it, flaunt it.   

Scarf? Not unless it’s winter and freezing.

Note: I try not to make stereotypical remarks, but I do not think it is homophobic to generalize about the gay male affinity for style. Everyone I know who is gay (no one)  is a snappy dresser or at least knows not to wear white socks with brown pants.

Comfort is everything.

If you get a Land’s End catalog and the first thing you do is to check to see if  underwear and socks are on sale, you are like me.

Nightwear.  A lot of old guys don’t even own pajamas.  Or bathrobes.   If you normally wear your underwear as sleepwear, there is a good chance that you will forget to change to a clean pair everyday.  I’ve done it myself.  You get up, go to the bathroom and brush your teeth.  You don’t feel like getting dressed but you need to go out and get the morning paper in the driveway, so you pull on some old work pants and maybe the same shirt you were wearing yesterday.  You go down, get the paper, have coffee and toast and you work on the crossword puzzle.  Before you know it the morning has flown. Maybe you plan to take a shower later but right now you need to mow the lawn.  One thing leads to another and before you know it you are going back to bed wearing 2 day underwear.  Obviously, this violates the clean clothes policy.  For some the simple answer is not to wear underwear at all.  This is perfectly ok with me, except if you are wearing shorts -- if your balls don’t mind, neither do I.

I cannot think of a reason for an old man to own a bathrobe.  Unless you are trying to seduce someone and want to be ready for anything without the danger of awkward undressing, this is a totally useless garment.   Men look silly in a bathrobe.  So, do give yours away to some charitable organization, in the hope that they make rags out of it.  On the other hand, if you don’t care how ridiculous you look, the most comfortable article of clothing is the Kaftan, which should never be worn outside your home, unless you have a private yard with an 8 foot high fence.

The tip that works for me is to own a few sets of pajamas or athletic trunks and tops.  At the end of the day, change into that sleep attire.  This forces you to toss that day-old underwear into the laundry basket.  This virtually eliminates the chance that you will be too lazy to change into clean in the morning.   Another fresh start!  

Simple rules:

Clean clothes everyday

Get a Haircut monthly

Dress for the weather

Don't wear grubby clothes to market or bar

Never wear a pantsuit - you will look like an escapee from the home.

No fragrance beyond a decent deodorant

Get your teeth fixed

Check your zipper before you go out of the house.

The idea is

You need to be comfortable

You need to be sociable

You need to convince others  that you have not lost it.

Things I Don't Want for Christmas, Fathers day or My Birthday

I don't like surprises.    

In my experience, most surprises are just disappointing, because they show how little your dear ones actually understand you. But the worst part is that you cannot simply scream at them "That's not what I wanted!" because you have to be a good sport. Your tie rack and basement are already clogged with gifts that you didn't want.  Yet the need to give gifts is a strong force, despite the giftee's desires.  At my age, if I need or want  something, I just buy it.  End of story.  I do not wait for Christmas or my birthday --who knows whether I'll still be in-the-moment to celebrate those occasions? 

 My family already thinks of me as a curmudgeon, so I am certain that it is not a surprise that I finally go public with my “Do not Give” list. The grouch in me asks: who decided that this Holy Day of Celebration should be accompanied by the giving of gifts?

I think I am not alone here, after all, don't prospective Brides and Grooms register for gifts at their favorite stores for exactly the same reason? Maybe they don't like surprises either. 

The people who want to surprise you honestly think they have figured you out. They believe that getting you into a room under false pretenses where dozens of friends and or relatives shout "surprise" is your idea of a wonderful moment of unity and love. As the burning bullet of "SURPRISE!" pierces your chest, you clutch your heart, fall to the floor and begin to expire. They keep laughing because they think you are pretending. And, in those fading moments, when life ebbs to that eternal low tide, you smile in amazement that so many people took time out of their busy lives -- just to give you heart failure. 

 A list of things I don't want. 

After shave Lotion 

 Books not on my list 

CD's not on my list 

Tools not on my List 

Other things that are not on my List 

Things I do want: 

Single Malt Scotch or Irish Whiskey 

Buy me a Beer 

Mow My Lawn 

Get My Car Washed 

Books, tools and CD's that are on My List

Empathy and Morality

 

I've  observed that one's capacity for empathy tends to drive one's political character.  Libertarians lack any shred of empathy,  Traditional Conservatives possess  the ability to be  moderately empathetic - to their tribe, and  Liberals tend to be globally empathetic.  This  is demonstrated by attitudes towards social welfare, immigration and equal opportunity.    I think empathy is simply the ability to put your self in someone else's shoes, to understand what they are going through.   

I used to believe that a great leader gets the people to want what he/she wants.  But lately, I've concluded that an effective leader wants what the followers want.    Trump, the consummate faker,  has been effective  by getting a lot of people to believe he "gets" them, by appealing to their fears and lesser angels.   Others (like me)  correctly see him as  an autocrat who thinks everything is (or should be) about him.  He cares nothing for others.  Just look at how he treats Mike Pence -- the textbook brown-noser and loyal sycophant for 4 years.   Think of how he treats anyone who disagrees with him.  The streets are figuratively littered with the bodies of those enablers who may have acted, however briefly, to set things right -- and were tossed under the bus.

I think empathy and morality are coupled.  I notice that many on the right of the political spectrum display a situational morality.  The may preach a message of lofty ideals (patriotism, sanctity of life, strong national borders) but many lack the capacity to feel the pain of starvation, hopelessness and fear in their fellow humans  on this planet and even in their own communities.   Further, we note that 70% of Republicans would overturn results of the 2020 election.  They have no credible proof that there was fraud but the fact is, they do not care about Democracy. The calculus is about winning, not about principles, or honor, or even decency.   They would toss the Constitution in the dumpster to get Trump or someone like him back in power.  Several Republican run states have already passed new laws  cynically designed to keep minority voters from casting ballots in the next election.  This is immoral and wrong.

Oyster Shucking Update

Dear Diary,

Since my December 5th posting, my obsession with raw oysters has continued unabated.  I estimate that I have now shucked about 50 oysters, which 25 have been shared with my wife.  On New Years Eve, I shucked a dozen.  

  

During the past month, I have been researching the local sources for oysters, and learning a lot about their cultivation and variety.  There is a website full of oyster lore and useful information called  Oysterater.  They identify virtually every variety you might bump into.  

As I mentioned previously, the typical restaurant price for oysters on the half shell is around $3 each.  We have paid this amount on rare occasion, but we are more likely to dine at those venues that offer a reduced price for this delicious little blob of briny heaven.  In pre-pandemic times we found several locations that offer oysters at $1.00 -- almost always at "slow" times.  Typically, these are the hours between 4pm and 6pm - or what used to be called "happy hour" here in Mass.  (Happy hour 2 for 1 drinks have been banned statewide.) However, bars and restaurants have creatively turned to other promotions to get folks to come in during those otherwise "dead" periods.  

Thus was born the "buck-a-shuck" concept.

We eventually settled on our new favorite local venue for oysters -- The Dolphin, in Natick.  They offered $1 oysters during weekday happy hours, and ALL DAY on Sunday.  So The Dolphin on Sunday afternoons became a frequent destination.  We would often meet friends there and have a great time sucking down oysters, guzzling refreshing adult beverages and munching on 65 cent Buffalo chicken wings.  Good times.

By mid-March, 2020 everything changed suddenly. COVID-19.  Pandemic.  Lockdown. Cancel your plans, Pilgrim!  We were strongly advised to stay home, and we did (partly because there was nowhere to go.)  Although the Dolphin re-opened during the summer, serving al fresco under a tent, we felt it necessary to refrain from any level of gathering with the dreaded public.  That resulted in 8+ months without any oysters.  Who knew how to shuck them?  Wasn't it hard to do, and dangerous?  Fear of the unknown can close one's mind to possibilities.

Finally, in desperation, I started looking at YouTube videos about oysters and was amazed at the dozens of tutorials about how to shuck an oyster.  I resolved to become an Apprentice Oyster Shucker.

Today January 9th, after opening 50 oysters, I can report that it is definitely worth the effort.   I think the technique can be mastered by anyone with sufficient wrist strength, and determination.  The Oyster does not want to give up.  Prying open the hinge on the pointed end of the shell takes some force and confidence, but I can confirm that it gets easier with each batch.   

The research part of this project has been interesting as well.  I mentioned that the price of an oyster can range between $1 and $3 in a restaurant, but how much do they charge at the fish market?  Not to get too detailed, I found that Whole Foods offers a nice selection of local oysters priced at $1.49.  My local fish market also priced oysters at $1.50 but jacked-up the price to $1.75 for the holidays.  Another market had Duxbury Bays on sale for $1.25.     

My favorite varieties are Wellfleets from Cape Cod area  and two types from Damariscotta River in Maine -- Glidden Points and Pemiquids.  These varieties are midsized, sweet, briny and plump.  They also tend to be cleaner with less shell fragments to deal with.  Check out the Oysterater for more info on these and other varieties. 

When you buy oysters be sure and ask for a small bag of crushed ice to serve them on, to keep them from spilling the tasty juices (liquor) out.  Alternative, a thin bed of Kosher salt on a plate will keep them from tipping.  If you do not plan to use right away, they can store unshucked in the fridge for a few days, in a bowl covered with a damp dish towel (not sitting in melting ice).  Some say that if you put them in the freezer an hour before shucking --they will open easier.  I have not confirmed this.

It helps to have all the things you need ready for serving before you start to shuck.  Protective gloves, knife, lemon wedges, cocktail sauce, etc.  I also use a dishtowel to hold the shell while I'm working on it.   I wont lie, it is work.  But, good work. 

Fresh oysters are delicious.  Even during "Dry January."    9 days, but who's counting?

Jan 14 Update:  Due to unsettling events in the news this week,  Dry January has morphed into Slightly less wet January.  

The Epiphany We Deserved

 (January 6th, Washington D.C.)  

As they have since the Civil War days,  the US Senate convened to read the electoral college votes to certify the winner.  Naturally, they found that the most votes went to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

The inauguration will take place on January 20th

A completely peaceful group of demonstrators marched to the steps of the Capital building in a show of support for the outgoing president   They wore MAGA hats and carried pro-trump signs.

Trump said that he was disappointed with the vote, but, as usual, he was a good sport. He had a spokesman tweet-out that the transition of power would be smooth. "The election is over and we lost," he said. "Let's all get behind the new White House team." 

After the counting of votes, the congress members came out, announced the results,  and were cheered by the mask-wearing patriots gathered peacefully on the steps. 

 

Treason or Sedition?

Those who are advocating the tossing-out of legal votes in order to get their candidate to be named winner are nothing less than traitors to Democracy and should be punished for their crimes.  They claim massive fraud, but can offer no credible evidence of fraud.  They are enemies of decency and democracy.  They are willing to use any means to achieve their ends.  They are autocrats at best and fascists at worst.   

Yesterday's call between Trump and Georgia election officials demonstrates a President attempting to badger and beg an official to change the results of the vote based on rumors that he believes to be true.  It is shocking that such a blatant attack on election integrity is tolerated by anyone who has taken an oath to defend the Constitution.  Why is the president not in jail right now?

I salute those Georgia patriots who value country and democracy over partisan politics.  

All elected reps who challenge the election results on Jan 6th  need to be condemned by their peers at the very least.  And there should be gallows.