If I had a job, I'd have called in sick today. Since there was no one else to call, I gathered the cats and announced that I would not be going to the office today, due to my nasty flu symptoms. They took the information with their usual nonchalance.
After a cup of coffee while reading the morning paper, I went back to bed. The three Siamese were curled up in a pile, right in the middle of the bed. They appeared truly annoyed when I tried to get some of the covers for myself. I am not looking for sympathy. I know that everyone else is either sick or just getting over something.
I just thought maybe the cats could show a little compassion.
11/28/2003
11/26/2003
Reasons To Be Thankful
There are some advantages to being unemployed. Yesterday, I went with two of my similarly unoccupied pals to the movies. It was a one oclock showing of Master and Commander. This was a real entertaining swashbuckler with great visual effects and rip-roaring action only a guy would like. From all historical accounts it depicted the realism of life on board a British Navy ship in 1805.
I am profoundly thankful to have been born in modern times - with indoor plumbing, refrigeration, electricity, computers, a distribution system that can deliver single malt scotch to a store nearby.
More than this, I am gratified to realize how damned lucky I have been in this life.
I was an aimless youth who was such a poor student in high school that no decent college would admit me, so I enlisted in the air force. The military made me a grow up, but did not overcome my insubordinate nature. Thanks to my dad's determination, I did go to college and graduated with a degree in Liberal Arts. I was an English major (although on my resume I claim it was English-Journalism because it sounds more practical.)
In creative writing class I met Judy, who (like me) fell in love with my prose. I was immediately captivated by her beauty and charm, and this was the best thing that happened in my life. We dated, evetually married, had two great and beautiful daughters who have grown into wonderful productive adults and have stayed in our lives. After thirty five years we are still together, healthy and in love.
Sure, I have had some crappy jobs, and may again in the future. But I hope I can continue to appreciate the luck that has seen me this far. And I hope that I win the megabucks lottery tonight.
I am profoundly thankful to have been born in modern times - with indoor plumbing, refrigeration, electricity, computers, a distribution system that can deliver single malt scotch to a store nearby.
More than this, I am gratified to realize how damned lucky I have been in this life.
I was an aimless youth who was such a poor student in high school that no decent college would admit me, so I enlisted in the air force. The military made me a grow up, but did not overcome my insubordinate nature. Thanks to my dad's determination, I did go to college and graduated with a degree in Liberal Arts. I was an English major (although on my resume I claim it was English-Journalism because it sounds more practical.)
In creative writing class I met Judy, who (like me) fell in love with my prose. I was immediately captivated by her beauty and charm, and this was the best thing that happened in my life. We dated, evetually married, had two great and beautiful daughters who have grown into wonderful productive adults and have stayed in our lives. After thirty five years we are still together, healthy and in love.
Sure, I have had some crappy jobs, and may again in the future. But I hope I can continue to appreciate the luck that has seen me this far. And I hope that I win the megabucks lottery tonight.
11/21/2003
Yes, We can Hear You, now shut that (bleep)ing thing off!
Just returned from a brief visit to the Left coast to check on the Grandkids. The kids are all right.
Ah, California: state of Earthquakes, Fires, Neverland, Laci and Governor Arnold. Coming back to the state where anyone can legally marry anything if they can pass the blood test.
I am cranky as hell. It is not merely jet lag; it's the world gone nuts.
prosecutors want to put that vicious criminal - Martha Stewart - in jail; and the shrinks want to let John Hinkley out to walk around Washington DC free as a crow.
Terrorists and protesters bombing civilians in Turkey and disrupting traffic in Miami and UK. Important events are taking place in the world, yet Michael Jackson dominates the news. Why? I don't care about the antics of freaks. Do you?
Air Travel still sucks. I can report is American Airlines does have more room in coach between rows than United. But you are still crammed-in three across, and there is not enough room for a well-fed man to sit comfortably. American is much less concerned than United with on-time schedules, and it shows. On the way to California, we arrived at a stopover in Chicago on time, but then sat on the tarmac for 40 minutes waiting for a gate to open up. Many people who were connecting missed their flights. The attendant tried to console an upset traveller. "This happens a lot." she said.
I am still irritated that class discrimination is still OK on airlines, and even extends to the security checks. I was selected for personal inspection when my shoes set off the metal detector. The beefy security guard frowned at me like I should know better. "Rockports always set it off," she said. "You should wear sneakers next time."
Predictably, we were treated to the inane wireless conversations of inconsiderate blabbers everywhere we went. At the hotel, during breakfast. In the cabin of the planes. On Fisherman's wharf. Outside the museum. Mercifully, they make people curtail wireless phone calls when the plane is in motion. The new showoff thing is Walkie Talkie feature which involves a lot of beeping and shouting into the receiver. If that isn't enough, now you can hear the moron on the other end as well.
Peter Drucker says, "There is nothing as useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." I feel this applies to the Walkie Talkie feature on cell phones. Only a few people in specific jobs (eg, construction, EMT's) should have them. Some technology should be withheld from the masses. You wouldn't give a lazer-guided missile launchers to Ubangi tribesmen. Would you?
I'm sure that some people need cell phones. But, their ubiquitousness has introduced a level of interruption and annoyance into our society that I predict a rash of phone-rage incidents in the near future. Judy says it is just my sensory integration disorder acting up. According to her, most people are not disturbed by the inanities of others, and are not possessed by a demonic urge to strangle them.
Ah, California: state of Earthquakes, Fires, Neverland, Laci and Governor Arnold. Coming back to the state where anyone can legally marry anything if they can pass the blood test.
I am cranky as hell. It is not merely jet lag; it's the world gone nuts.
prosecutors want to put that vicious criminal - Martha Stewart - in jail; and the shrinks want to let John Hinkley out to walk around Washington DC free as a crow.
Terrorists and protesters bombing civilians in Turkey and disrupting traffic in Miami and UK. Important events are taking place in the world, yet Michael Jackson dominates the news. Why? I don't care about the antics of freaks. Do you?
Air Travel still sucks. I can report is American Airlines does have more room in coach between rows than United. But you are still crammed-in three across, and there is not enough room for a well-fed man to sit comfortably. American is much less concerned than United with on-time schedules, and it shows. On the way to California, we arrived at a stopover in Chicago on time, but then sat on the tarmac for 40 minutes waiting for a gate to open up. Many people who were connecting missed their flights. The attendant tried to console an upset traveller. "This happens a lot." she said.
I am still irritated that class discrimination is still OK on airlines, and even extends to the security checks. I was selected for personal inspection when my shoes set off the metal detector. The beefy security guard frowned at me like I should know better. "Rockports always set it off," she said. "You should wear sneakers next time."
Predictably, we were treated to the inane wireless conversations of inconsiderate blabbers everywhere we went. At the hotel, during breakfast. In the cabin of the planes. On Fisherman's wharf. Outside the museum. Mercifully, they make people curtail wireless phone calls when the plane is in motion. The new showoff thing is Walkie Talkie feature which involves a lot of beeping and shouting into the receiver. If that isn't enough, now you can hear the moron on the other end as well.
Peter Drucker says, "There is nothing as useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." I feel this applies to the Walkie Talkie feature on cell phones. Only a few people in specific jobs (eg, construction, EMT's) should have them. Some technology should be withheld from the masses. You wouldn't give a lazer-guided missile launchers to Ubangi tribesmen. Would you?
I'm sure that some people need cell phones. But, their ubiquitousness has introduced a level of interruption and annoyance into our society that I predict a rash of phone-rage incidents in the near future. Judy says it is just my sensory integration disorder acting up. According to her, most people are not disturbed by the inanities of others, and are not possessed by a demonic urge to strangle them.
11/14/2003
Someone called back
Begin disturbing image warning=>> I hope this image is not too unsettling to my fans, but I have vowed to tell the whole truth. Young, or easily offended readers should skip to the next paragraph The other day, I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard the phone in the hallway ring. I made it before the fourth ring, and answered in my best business-like voice. It was the callback I had been hoping for earlier that day. (Actually, I had only half-expected the return call. Not returning calls is an epidemic in this junk-call-spam-drenched day-and-age.) Anyhow, there I was standing in front of the hall mirror, naked and dripping on the floor, pretending that I was dry, fully-clothed and an ideal candidate for the job. <<= End of disturbing image warning
It was the recruiter for a local company, responding to a resume I had sent more than a month ago. He had sent me an e-mail, asking me to call if I was still interested in the job. I did call, but got his voice-mail. Typical of recruiters, six hours later he was returning my call. He told me that the company needed a senior business analyst to work with the Product Manager to market and recommend improvements to a flagship software product. I had most of the quals for the job, and I was intrigued by the prospect of getting back into the marketing department, so I managed to BS the recruiter enough to convince him to "present" me to the hiring manager.
He said that they had been having a hard time finding the right person. (Probably because the job description would have been divided among three people in the full-employment days of 1999-2000). These days everyone is expected to be a superhero at apprentice wages. Hey don't get me started, I'm being positive! Anyway, it was a call back.
It was also a milestone in my journey. It is the first opportunity in months that seems worth pursuing. The location is a mere ten minute commute. The compensation is lower than my last job, but near the ballpark. And it's not IT.
Being Not-IT is a good thing. I have always enjoyed my past roles as a systems analyst in the marketing department.
Marketing management is a lot less cost-conscious than those stingy CIO's who think that staying within budget is more important than delivering speed to network users. By contrast, marketing execs are usually focused on sales activity, and I never met one who worried much about the "bottom line".
Stay tuned. We are still a long way from the sure-thing stage. But I was encouraged that someone called back. To me that is a 100% increase in activity.
It was the recruiter for a local company, responding to a resume I had sent more than a month ago. He had sent me an e-mail, asking me to call if I was still interested in the job. I did call, but got his voice-mail. Typical of recruiters, six hours later he was returning my call. He told me that the company needed a senior business analyst to work with the Product Manager to market and recommend improvements to a flagship software product. I had most of the quals for the job, and I was intrigued by the prospect of getting back into the marketing department, so I managed to BS the recruiter enough to convince him to "present" me to the hiring manager.
He said that they had been having a hard time finding the right person. (Probably because the job description would have been divided among three people in the full-employment days of 1999-2000). These days everyone is expected to be a superhero at apprentice wages. Hey don't get me started, I'm being positive! Anyway, it was a call back.
It was also a milestone in my journey. It is the first opportunity in months that seems worth pursuing. The location is a mere ten minute commute. The compensation is lower than my last job, but near the ballpark. And it's not IT.
Being Not-IT is a good thing. I have always enjoyed my past roles as a systems analyst in the marketing department.
Marketing management is a lot less cost-conscious than those stingy CIO's who think that staying within budget is more important than delivering speed to network users. By contrast, marketing execs are usually focused on sales activity, and I never met one who worried much about the "bottom line".
Stay tuned. We are still a long way from the sure-thing stage. But I was encouraged that someone called back. To me that is a 100% increase in activity.
11/07/2003
Can you Hear me Now?
We decided to give Herbs and Spices - the new Asian restaurant in Lower Falls - another chance. It was a Wednesday night and not crowded, which perhaps resulted in a fairly attentive waiter. I still could not understand anything he said, due to a difference in our native spoken languages, so if he had greeted us with the "Hi I'm Lee Hong, I'll be your server tonight." we were blissfully spared the comprehension of same. Despite my fears, our order was correctly taken and served in due time.
The food was pretty good. We shared a variety of appetizer and main dishes. We had a nice time.
As we were waiting for the check, a thirty-ish couple was seated in the next booth. Totally ignoring his attractive dining companion, the boorish fellow was yakking loudly on his cell phone. It was a pathetic call, with him apologizing to someone who outranked him for not returning their call. His voice was laden with fear and lying. I almost felt sorry for him, but as is our habit, we began to chastise him so he could hear us.
His companion was terribly embarrassed, to have her date being laughed at by the next booth while he pathetically groped for credibility over the airwaves to some bigshot who clearly knew he was lying.
It was son-in-law David who came up with the solution to such ear pollution. "Why don't these places have a Cell Phone Booth?"
What a genius idea! All public places should have at least one. A simple rectangular booth with nothing in it but soundproof walls and a shelf. Wireless talkers could go and stand in the booth and not bother the rest of us. I can see them at the Bus Stop, Train Station, Theater Lobby, Supermarket - anywhere where people gather. Instead of assaulting the rest of us with your inane conversations, you can go to the Wireless Area stand in your booth and blather to your heart's content.
I smell a business opportunity! Who wants in on the groundfloor?
The food was pretty good. We shared a variety of appetizer and main dishes. We had a nice time.
As we were waiting for the check, a thirty-ish couple was seated in the next booth. Totally ignoring his attractive dining companion, the boorish fellow was yakking loudly on his cell phone. It was a pathetic call, with him apologizing to someone who outranked him for not returning their call. His voice was laden with fear and lying. I almost felt sorry for him, but as is our habit, we began to chastise him so he could hear us.
His companion was terribly embarrassed, to have her date being laughed at by the next booth while he pathetically groped for credibility over the airwaves to some bigshot who clearly knew he was lying.
It was son-in-law David who came up with the solution to such ear pollution. "Why don't these places have a Cell Phone Booth?"
What a genius idea! All public places should have at least one. A simple rectangular booth with nothing in it but soundproof walls and a shelf. Wireless talkers could go and stand in the booth and not bother the rest of us. I can see them at the Bus Stop, Train Station, Theater Lobby, Supermarket - anywhere where people gather. Instead of assaulting the rest of us with your inane conversations, you can go to the Wireless Area stand in your booth and blather to your heart's content.
I smell a business opportunity! Who wants in on the groundfloor?
11/05/2003
Momma Told Me
As a child growing up in hardscrabble Watertown, Ma, my sainted mother would often repeat her wise observation "If it looks too good to be true...it probably is." Such cynicism is one of the most useful tools in the Parental Toolbox. This wisdom has served me well. As an adult I grew to be a skeptic, a cynic and a hopeful pessimist. (The opposite of a hopeless optimist).
I don't expect everything to fail, but I am hardly ever surprised when it does. My career value proposition has been established on the fundamental premise that in a business enterprise, Crap Happens, but if you have me on your payroll there will be less crap and it won't be as messy.
Because I expect problems, I am a pretty good planner. Because I know people are unwilling or unable to communicate with each other, I over-communicate. I specify requirements, establish test plans, talk with people. Early on, I understood the different languages of business. Engineers don't like to talk to Marketing Managers. Finance people abhor Sales Reps. Programmers cannot stand the vagaries of Users. Big Shot executives don't understand ground level workers. No one can understand the cafeteria staff (but, come to think of it, that is actually because they speak Portuguese. Another topic for another rant, perhaps?). Anyway, the only thing I really do is coordinate stuff between people who don't communicate with each other.
But, despite my chronic cynicism and pessimism, I am confident that the economy will recover. It always does. And there will soon be a recognition that my niche skills will become valuable again. Like those raggedy 401k accounts that have been beaten to a pulp for the past three years, improvement is palpable.
So, to be ahead of the curve, I spent a few hours this morning, searching for opportunity. Perhaps, one might even say, searching for my destiny.... Well, the trip back to earth was short and ended with a thud. Nada, zilch, zero, ciphers. I almost clicked on a banner ad offering retraining as a cafeteria worker (Learn Portuguese in six days!)
Then, I saw something that looked interesting: Opinionsonline.com was offering hourly rates from $15 to $110 to simply take a brief survey or participate in a focus group. Wow. This seems like easy money. I could use a few extra bucks. I got some spare time. I got a computer. Lord knows, I got opinions up the wazou!
So I check it out. Hmmn. One small detail. This company is not exactly the survey company that hires you. They put the "applicant" into a database of people who might be picked to participate in such surveys and focus groups. The small detail is, they charge you $14.95 to get into the database. Aw crap! They were masquerading as a job listing and they are actually marketing their freaking database. I find this type of "stealth marketing" to be unethical and deceptive. More deceptively evil than ordinary marketing. It justifies all my cynicism and pessimism. And skepticism. Focus on this, you stealth marketers! (Raises middle finger in angry salute)
That's when momma's sage words echoed. And so I shut off the computer. And then I got out my roller and ladder. After lunch, I will spend a productive afternoon painting the ceiling in the TV room. Then, I'll tune-in to Oprah for my daily emotional fix.
I don't expect everything to fail, but I am hardly ever surprised when it does. My career value proposition has been established on the fundamental premise that in a business enterprise, Crap Happens, but if you have me on your payroll there will be less crap and it won't be as messy.
Because I expect problems, I am a pretty good planner. Because I know people are unwilling or unable to communicate with each other, I over-communicate. I specify requirements, establish test plans, talk with people. Early on, I understood the different languages of business. Engineers don't like to talk to Marketing Managers. Finance people abhor Sales Reps. Programmers cannot stand the vagaries of Users. Big Shot executives don't understand ground level workers. No one can understand the cafeteria staff (but, come to think of it, that is actually because they speak Portuguese. Another topic for another rant, perhaps?). Anyway, the only thing I really do is coordinate stuff between people who don't communicate with each other.
But, despite my chronic cynicism and pessimism, I am confident that the economy will recover. It always does. And there will soon be a recognition that my niche skills will become valuable again. Like those raggedy 401k accounts that have been beaten to a pulp for the past three years, improvement is palpable.
So, to be ahead of the curve, I spent a few hours this morning, searching for opportunity. Perhaps, one might even say, searching for my destiny.... Well, the trip back to earth was short and ended with a thud. Nada, zilch, zero, ciphers. I almost clicked on a banner ad offering retraining as a cafeteria worker (Learn Portuguese in six days!)
Then, I saw something that looked interesting: Opinionsonline.com was offering hourly rates from $15 to $110 to simply take a brief survey or participate in a focus group. Wow. This seems like easy money. I could use a few extra bucks. I got some spare time. I got a computer. Lord knows, I got opinions up the wazou!
So I check it out. Hmmn. One small detail. This company is not exactly the survey company that hires you. They put the "applicant" into a database of people who might be picked to participate in such surveys and focus groups. The small detail is, they charge you $14.95 to get into the database. Aw crap! They were masquerading as a job listing and they are actually marketing their freaking database. I find this type of "stealth marketing" to be unethical and deceptive. More deceptively evil than ordinary marketing. It justifies all my cynicism and pessimism. And skepticism. Focus on this, you stealth marketers! (Raises middle finger in angry salute)
That's when momma's sage words echoed. And so I shut off the computer. And then I got out my roller and ladder. After lunch, I will spend a productive afternoon painting the ceiling in the TV room. Then, I'll tune-in to Oprah for my daily emotional fix.
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