I know what you're thinking: Here comes another rant about the TV Media's irrepressible campaign to exploit the fears of viewers to make them stay-tuned and watch more commercial messages.
But you are wrong. I have no interest in lampooning those silly "live updates" with some pitiful newsy standing outside in the driving blizzard to report on the blowing snow, the wind-chill factor, the dangerous driving conditions. Nor am I going to jab the tiresome weather guys and gals for "teasing" us with the promise of dire weather warnings that we will only learn if we stay-tuned to the upcoming segment.
No. These may be pertinent examples of the disturbing trend of weather-tainment, but they are not the topic I wish to address today. Let me remind you that the theme of this journal is the nature of work and the meaning it has on our lives.
More importantly, this has been the record of one man's quest to find the self-actualized life. A search for fulfilling, meaningful work and an ideal workplace. (Unlike the Hellholes where he has toiled for most of his questful life).
I know exactly what you are thinking: "Give up. Utopia is for dreamers. Besides no one wants to employ an aging, stubborn, insubordinate, fat guy with no sense of urgency. (Did we mention unorganized?)"
Well, then fine. You have your opinion. I have this! (Holds-up a potentially winning megamillions lottery ticket. Fade to scene of snowplows on highway.)
Cold Enough For You?
We had a big winter storm yesterday. Twenty-something inches in my driveway. It was the best kind of snow to clear away. Fine, dry and light. The Snowthrower went through it like butter. Not really a big deal. And let's face it, shoveling snow is the purest form of work you can do.
Annually, I host a get-together for the guys to watch both league championship football games. Typically, they are the most interesting games to watch, since they pit the best teams from each league.
By 3pm the local streets were clear enough for George and Bill (fearless fans who laugh in the face of travel warnings) to come here to watch the league playoff games, drink beer and eat grilled meat. Rick and my brother cancelled, since neither of them had shoveled-out their driveways yet; they were still waiting for someone else to do the work (imagine passing-up the opportunity to occupy one'self in such satisfying labor.) My brother who is not a true believer claims that God put the snow there and he was not going to mess with the work of the Creator. Besides, the governor had declared a state of emergency. The roads were a mess. Despite such wimpery in the audience, the Patriots vanquished the Steelers handily.
Today, Mit Romney was on TV. State workers were being asked to stay home today, since there was nowhere for them to park with all the snow. Now, I know a few state workers, and I'll bet my lottery winnings that not one of them insisted on going-in on public transportation. One friend was supposed to start her new job as a state employee. She was told to stay home and take a paid day off. (That's what I call a great beginning. A harbinger of Utopia? Time will tell.)
We are going to the Superbowl Baby!
The superbowl is to a professional football player the ultimate success. As searchers of peak work experiences, we should all rejoice in the good fortune of these football employees - especially the third string back-ups who don't really have to do anything. They get a free trip to Florida in February. They get a nice ring, that can be auctioned off for big bucks someday, if necessary. And they get a huge bonus - even if they lose. That's pretty good work, if you can get it.
1/24/2005
1/22/2005
Investigating
I was surfing the channels on TV the other day and happened to stop on the program called "Dog - The Bounty Hunter." This guy - Dog has a great job. He chases down bail jumpers, beats the hell out of them and then lectures them about fiscal responsibility all during the ride back to jail. Apparently, Bounty Hunters do not need a warrant. They can come to your house, kick down the door and shoot you if you resist.
Hmmn I thought, Bounty Hunting might be a little to much of a career transition for someone whose most confrontive act was asking for the senior discount at Papa Gino's.
But, when I saw an ad on Monster.com for a Private Investigator, I started thinking about the parallels between systems analysis and crime fighting. Analytical mind, patient observer, willing to write up detailed accounts of relatively mundane events, able to keep a secret... Crap. That was the booger in the oatmeal. How the heck could I be trusted to keep a secret? I'm a yakker, a shmoozer, a story teller. No way I could pass the battery of psychological tests to find the perfect investigator: Disciplined, heartless, follower of orders, no empathy for the victim oops I mean suspect.
By the way, the dirty little secret of job boards is that many of the listings are NOT jobs, but rather sneaky and underhanded come-on's from people who do not have jobs but use fake jobs to suck you into giving them information and paying them money to list you in their database, which they say will help you find jobs. Some of their come-ons are probably familiar: (Work at home licking envelopes and make hundreds a week! Be a Secret Shopper - you can get rich! Earn Millions from the Belly Button Lint you have in your own home!)
This "ad" was the same type of marketing BS. The offer you a "test" to see if you are the right sort of personality to be an Investigator earning thousands of dollars just watching people go in and out of motels, or tracking down bail jumpers,like Dog?
I must say I was surprised to learn how many different jobs there are in the field of "investigation." Here is the list they published in the ad.
* Background Investigations
* Civil & Undercover Investigations
* Retail & Cashier Fraud Surveillances
* Crime Scene Analysis
* Sales Fraud Investigations
* Criminal & Drug Investigations
* Real Estate Fraud
* Nursing Home Abandonment Cases
* Insurance Fraud
* Music & Video Piracy
* Nanny & Child Care Investigations
* Integrity Shopping Services
* Missing Persons & Research
* Pre-Employment for hotel chain employees
* Dead Beat Spouse Collections
* Process Service
* Customer Service Investigations
* Internet and Web Hack Programmer Investigations
* Telemarketing & Collections Investigations
* Protective & Bodyguard Services
* Work at Home scam Investigations
* Skip Tracing
* Clerical and Office embezzlement
* Forensic and/or Evidentiary Photography
* Federal Anti-Piracy Investigations
* Medical Negligence Examinations
* Identity & Social Security Theft
Sounds like crime creates a lot of jobs. Maybe we need to encourage that sort of behavior.
Hmmn I thought, Bounty Hunting might be a little to much of a career transition for someone whose most confrontive act was asking for the senior discount at Papa Gino's.
But, when I saw an ad on Monster.com for a Private Investigator, I started thinking about the parallels between systems analysis and crime fighting. Analytical mind, patient observer, willing to write up detailed accounts of relatively mundane events, able to keep a secret... Crap. That was the booger in the oatmeal. How the heck could I be trusted to keep a secret? I'm a yakker, a shmoozer, a story teller. No way I could pass the battery of psychological tests to find the perfect investigator: Disciplined, heartless, follower of orders, no empathy for the victim oops I mean suspect.
By the way, the dirty little secret of job boards is that many of the listings are NOT jobs, but rather sneaky and underhanded come-on's from people who do not have jobs but use fake jobs to suck you into giving them information and paying them money to list you in their database, which they say will help you find jobs. Some of their come-ons are probably familiar: (Work at home licking envelopes and make hundreds a week! Be a Secret Shopper - you can get rich! Earn Millions from the Belly Button Lint you have in your own home!)
This "ad" was the same type of marketing BS. The offer you a "test" to see if you are the right sort of personality to be an Investigator earning thousands of dollars just watching people go in and out of motels, or tracking down bail jumpers,like Dog?
I must say I was surprised to learn how many different jobs there are in the field of "investigation." Here is the list they published in the ad.
* Background Investigations
* Civil & Undercover Investigations
* Retail & Cashier Fraud Surveillances
* Crime Scene Analysis
* Sales Fraud Investigations
* Criminal & Drug Investigations
* Real Estate Fraud
* Nursing Home Abandonment Cases
* Insurance Fraud
* Music & Video Piracy
* Nanny & Child Care Investigations
* Integrity Shopping Services
* Missing Persons & Research
* Pre-Employment for hotel chain employees
* Dead Beat Spouse Collections
* Process Service
* Customer Service Investigations
* Internet and Web Hack Programmer Investigations
* Telemarketing & Collections Investigations
* Protective & Bodyguard Services
* Work at Home scam Investigations
* Skip Tracing
* Clerical and Office embezzlement
* Forensic and/or Evidentiary Photography
* Federal Anti-Piracy Investigations
* Medical Negligence Examinations
* Identity & Social Security Theft
Sounds like crime creates a lot of jobs. Maybe we need to encourage that sort of behavior.
1/20/2005
Marketing Lies
It has been bone-chilling cold around here lately. So, it was not surprising that my eye was caught by an advertisement for Air Tran hyping the discount fare to Sarasota, FL of $89 In smaller type was the qualifier "One-way". So it was a great rate for a terrorist or someone planning to expire in Florida.
Then I noticed that the price had a small asterisk. So I read the footnote which was printed in faint microscopic letters. It was a disclaimer that the price * doesn't include a segment cost of $3.20 or a 9/11 security fee of $10 or a charge that they call Airport Passenger Facility Charge of up to $18. Hmmn. Now, we are talking about a one-way ticket that costs no less than $120. Further, the weasel words included "limited availability" of seats at this price, and two weeks advance booking was required for these non-refundable tickets, if you could get one.
How come the government doesn't protect consumers from lying marketing bastards?
We should teach our kids to read ads as follows: "Sonny, when you see an ad with an asterisk it means 'we are lying.' fine print= Lies. Fast talking= liar."
Talk about liars, Air Tran used to be called ValueJet before the big crash a few years ago. They have the worst safety record in the industry.
Then I noticed that the price had a small asterisk. So I read the footnote which was printed in faint microscopic letters. It was a disclaimer that the price * doesn't include a segment cost of $3.20 or a 9/11 security fee of $10 or a charge that they call Airport Passenger Facility Charge of up to $18. Hmmn. Now, we are talking about a one-way ticket that costs no less than $120. Further, the weasel words included "limited availability" of seats at this price, and two weeks advance booking was required for these non-refundable tickets, if you could get one.
How come the government doesn't protect consumers from lying marketing bastards?
We should teach our kids to read ads as follows: "Sonny, when you see an ad with an asterisk it means 'we are lying.' fine print= Lies. Fast talking= liar."
Talk about liars, Air Tran used to be called ValueJet before the big crash a few years ago. They have the worst safety record in the industry.
1/16/2005
Best Places to work
Fortune Magazine has recently published their annual list of the 100 Best Places to Work in the USA. Not surprisingly, none of my former employers were on the list. (In fact, now that I think of it, most of my former employers are not even in business anymore. Wang, Prime, Index Tech, Bull Express)
Actually, none of them - even the ones that became Fortune 1000 companies - could have even make a list of the top 100 thousand best places to work in the USA.
"What makes a workplace into a Hellhole?" is a frequent question posed to yours truly. The answer is very simple: Clueless Management.
Our system of promotion and reward tends to advance the most competitive and ruthless among the workforce. This is the ideal province of narcissists and sociopaths. Only a small fraction of those individuals who succeed under this system are truly talented, empathetic and wise.
To my way of thinking, a good place to work requires Wisdom and Empathy in the governing hierarchy. Most of the senior management I have observed (and read about) are wrapped-up in their own agendas and egos. They give lip service to the people who do the work - the rank and file. At quarterly meetings they drone, "We could not have done it without you." But, privately, they believe that all success is due to their genius; but, failure is due to "economic conditions" or "lack of sufficient training."
Do not get me wrong, I am not an anti-management disgruntled dissenter. In fact, I am a booster for the wise and empathetic managers who make decisions which allow all boats to rise with the tide. If I ever meet one, I shall be sure to document it right here.
Actually, none of them - even the ones that became Fortune 1000 companies - could have even make a list of the top 100 thousand best places to work in the USA.
"What makes a workplace into a Hellhole?" is a frequent question posed to yours truly. The answer is very simple: Clueless Management.
Our system of promotion and reward tends to advance the most competitive and ruthless among the workforce. This is the ideal province of narcissists and sociopaths. Only a small fraction of those individuals who succeed under this system are truly talented, empathetic and wise.
To my way of thinking, a good place to work requires Wisdom and Empathy in the governing hierarchy. Most of the senior management I have observed (and read about) are wrapped-up in their own agendas and egos. They give lip service to the people who do the work - the rank and file. At quarterly meetings they drone, "We could not have done it without you." But, privately, they believe that all success is due to their genius; but, failure is due to "economic conditions" or "lack of sufficient training."
Do not get me wrong, I am not an anti-management disgruntled dissenter. In fact, I am a booster for the wise and empathetic managers who make decisions which allow all boats to rise with the tide. If I ever meet one, I shall be sure to document it right here.
1/11/2005
Necessity is the mother
Thinking about reinventing myself. It's pretty obvious that hiring managers are not interested in the old Me:
- The aging, insubordinate, prima donna systems analyst.
- The fussy bastard who complains about everything from unacceptable working conditions to excessive useless meetings.
- The curmudgeon who rails at the prospect of commuting for more than 15 minutes, who takes 90 minute lunches, who stays home at the first sign of a sniffle, who insists on being sent to boondoggle User Conferences in places like San Francisco, Las Vegas and New Orleans.
- The fraidy-cat self-preservationist who refuses to even apply for a job in a location that might be attacked by terrorists (ie, any company that has offices above the fourth floor).
- The obstinate foot-dragger who insists on designing usability into those tedious business applications.
- The self-appointed Director of Dissent, donut aficionado, and first-one-in-line at the Coffee Wagon.
So, perhaps it is high time to evolve to a new profile. You know, the type that managers like to have on their teams:
- Hard working, entrepreneurial spirited, get-it-done mentality.
- Hands-on experience with every system platform and software utility ever produced.
- Competitive sociopath with monomaniacal focus.
- Willing to go the distance, step-up to the plate, win one for the gipper.
- Positive can-do spirit, especially when implementing the managers agenda, however flawed.
- Docile, loyal, eager-to-please, regardless of how idiotic are the directions from above.
- Thin, shaven, recently bathed and wearing clean clothes.
- Willing to suffer complete assholes, long meetings, tedious commuting distances, outrageous working conditions (eg, cubicles, no cafeteria, professional dress code), and lengthy work days.
Hmmn. This will be a challenge.
Hey, I just noticed tonight's Mega-million lottery jackpot is $92 million. Talk about re-inventing myself.... Yeah. That's the ticket....
- The aging, insubordinate, prima donna systems analyst.
- The fussy bastard who complains about everything from unacceptable working conditions to excessive useless meetings.
- The curmudgeon who rails at the prospect of commuting for more than 15 minutes, who takes 90 minute lunches, who stays home at the first sign of a sniffle, who insists on being sent to boondoggle User Conferences in places like San Francisco, Las Vegas and New Orleans.
- The fraidy-cat self-preservationist who refuses to even apply for a job in a location that might be attacked by terrorists (ie, any company that has offices above the fourth floor).
- The obstinate foot-dragger who insists on designing usability into those tedious business applications.
- The self-appointed Director of Dissent, donut aficionado, and first-one-in-line at the Coffee Wagon.
So, perhaps it is high time to evolve to a new profile. You know, the type that managers like to have on their teams:
- Hard working, entrepreneurial spirited, get-it-done mentality.
- Hands-on experience with every system platform and software utility ever produced.
- Competitive sociopath with monomaniacal focus.
- Willing to go the distance, step-up to the plate, win one for the gipper.
- Positive can-do spirit, especially when implementing the managers agenda, however flawed.
- Docile, loyal, eager-to-please, regardless of how idiotic are the directions from above.
- Thin, shaven, recently bathed and wearing clean clothes.
- Willing to suffer complete assholes, long meetings, tedious commuting distances, outrageous working conditions (eg, cubicles, no cafeteria, professional dress code), and lengthy work days.
Hmmn. This will be a challenge.
Hey, I just noticed tonight's Mega-million lottery jackpot is $92 million. Talk about re-inventing myself.... Yeah. That's the ticket....
1/08/2005
Vexing events
I got an unsolicited e-mail yesterday. It said:
"My name is Megan Connelly and I am the Recruiting Coordinator for American Express Financial Advisors. I came across your resume on Jobfind.com and I'm very interested to meet with you to discuss the Financial Advisor position. We are currently seeking individuals to work in our Waltham location. This opportunity can be both personally and financially rewarding. It requires initiative, hard work, self-discipline, and an entrepreneurial orientation."
The e-mail went on to say that someone would be calling me yada-yada. I decided to be proactive. I replied:
"Dear Megan,
Thanks for your interest, but I am definitely not looking for anything that involves hard work or self-discipline. My goals are to be overpaid, have lots of naps and excessive vacation. I want a big corner office and a beautiful buxom secretary...And lots of stock options. "
After re-reading my reply, I realized that I should have been more firm about my lack of interest in working in Financial Services, selling shoddy investment advice to unsuspecting victims who have managed to put a few bucks aside. So I added: "If you had read my CV carefully, you would ascertain that my career objectives do not include Bloodsucking weasel."
In a related story: There was a news item a few days ago about an unfortunate woman from Brockton. (I should say "cursed" because she was both dumb and dentally challenged. ) She fell for the scam where someone from a foreign government/bank sends a "confidential" E-mail to you to inform you that you have inherited money from a deceased distant relative. To get the huge payout, all you need to do is send ten thousand US to handle administrative costs. Now, most of us are too smart to fall for this type of fraud. But this woman went into it for $25,000. More money than she had. She had to borrow $15k from the bank. Pretty sad. Pretty dumb. How come our government cannot track these thieves down and send them to GITMO for some creative interrogation?
Another news item: The Congo where 4 million people have died in 5 years is asking, how come everyone is falling all over themselves to help save lives in Sri Lanka, but the plight of 4 million dead Africans is met with global apathy. Good question. Anybody got a good answer?
After a holiday haitus, I shall be returning to my contract job next week, finishing-up. I will be available for new assignments soon. Tell your friends, unless you happen to know Megan Connolly.
"My name is Megan Connelly and I am the Recruiting Coordinator for American Express Financial Advisors. I came across your resume on Jobfind.com and I'm very interested to meet with you to discuss the Financial Advisor position. We are currently seeking individuals to work in our Waltham location. This opportunity can be both personally and financially rewarding. It requires initiative, hard work, self-discipline, and an entrepreneurial orientation."
The e-mail went on to say that someone would be calling me yada-yada. I decided to be proactive. I replied:
"Dear Megan,
Thanks for your interest, but I am definitely not looking for anything that involves hard work or self-discipline. My goals are to be overpaid, have lots of naps and excessive vacation. I want a big corner office and a beautiful buxom secretary...And lots of stock options. "
After re-reading my reply, I realized that I should have been more firm about my lack of interest in working in Financial Services, selling shoddy investment advice to unsuspecting victims who have managed to put a few bucks aside. So I added: "If you had read my CV carefully, you would ascertain that my career objectives do not include Bloodsucking weasel."
In a related story: There was a news item a few days ago about an unfortunate woman from Brockton. (I should say "cursed" because she was both dumb and dentally challenged. ) She fell for the scam where someone from a foreign government/bank sends a "confidential" E-mail to you to inform you that you have inherited money from a deceased distant relative. To get the huge payout, all you need to do is send ten thousand US to handle administrative costs. Now, most of us are too smart to fall for this type of fraud. But this woman went into it for $25,000. More money than she had. She had to borrow $15k from the bank. Pretty sad. Pretty dumb. How come our government cannot track these thieves down and send them to GITMO for some creative interrogation?
Another news item: The Congo where 4 million people have died in 5 years is asking, how come everyone is falling all over themselves to help save lives in Sri Lanka, but the plight of 4 million dead Africans is met with global apathy. Good question. Anybody got a good answer?
After a holiday haitus, I shall be returning to my contract job next week, finishing-up. I will be available for new assignments soon. Tell your friends, unless you happen to know Megan Connolly.
1/06/2005
Hard to Ignore
The news is filled with coverage of the disaster in South Asia. The death toll has gone from initial estimates of 10,000 to the current estimate of 140,000 with another 150,000 survivors in imminent danger of death by disease and starvation. The graphics are mind-boggling. The numbers are incomprehensible.
The headlines are filled with politicians elbowing each other to get to a media microphone to show their heartfelt horror and support for the dead, dying and those left to mourn. Partisans are doing everything they can to show that the opponents are cheap bastards or pinko commies, giving your hard earned money away. The most absurd statement was uttered by pea-brained Sean Hannity. "I didn't see the Indonesians rushing to help us after 9/11."
The US Public Relations guys are doing circus contortions to explain the almost daily revisions in the monetary commitment of our government. I find this to be a silly waste of time. The US citizenry may be accused of a lot of faults, but there is no nation in the world that has tried to do more to help others have better lives. It is true that we are usually so wrapped-up in our own selfish concerns that we seem to ignore the world - especially the third world. But when adversity strikes, we are at our best. Generous. Caring. Willing to help.
There was an earthquake in Iran a few months ago. The US was quick to offer aid - and with no expectation of benefit. Many of our critics in the UN and in Hollywood are dishonest not to acknowledge that the Iraq situation was an attempt to bring peace to the region. You may judge iot to be a failed strategy, and bad execution, but the the intent behind our occupation of that country was to give Iraqis a chance at democracy. I do not believe we went there to control the oil, despite what all the Bush haters say. I think the US is still the only country to win a war and not keep the spoils. Your welcome Europe, Japan, Bosnia, Granada, Panama.
Yesterday at lunch, my anti-Bush companion asserted that the Bush administration was big on promises but they still have not made good on monetary pledges of aid to Africa. This sort of nitpicking does not help. Jon Stewart, fake newscaster of the Daily Show showed a clip of Star Jones on The View (ABC) was discussing the near-miss she had experienced. "I was just there last month," she said, referring to her honeymoon visit to one of the posh beach resorts that was destroyed by the Tsunami. "God blesses." she pronounced, apparently referring to the fact that God held back until SHE was home safe, before going ahead and killing hundreds of thousands of people. Jon Stewart wondered how far up your own ass must your head be to make a statement like that.
To those who denigrate the US, just check the news. Oil Rich and Muslim countries Saudi Arabia and Kuwait were initially reported to be ante-ing up a mere $10million to help the victims. Saudi officials announced yesterday that they were adding another $20 mill. This will actually be paid by the US in the form of higher oil prices.
We are the champions of the world. Don't you forget it.
The headlines are filled with politicians elbowing each other to get to a media microphone to show their heartfelt horror and support for the dead, dying and those left to mourn. Partisans are doing everything they can to show that the opponents are cheap bastards or pinko commies, giving your hard earned money away. The most absurd statement was uttered by pea-brained Sean Hannity. "I didn't see the Indonesians rushing to help us after 9/11."
The US Public Relations guys are doing circus contortions to explain the almost daily revisions in the monetary commitment of our government. I find this to be a silly waste of time. The US citizenry may be accused of a lot of faults, but there is no nation in the world that has tried to do more to help others have better lives. It is true that we are usually so wrapped-up in our own selfish concerns that we seem to ignore the world - especially the third world. But when adversity strikes, we are at our best. Generous. Caring. Willing to help.
There was an earthquake in Iran a few months ago. The US was quick to offer aid - and with no expectation of benefit. Many of our critics in the UN and in Hollywood are dishonest not to acknowledge that the Iraq situation was an attempt to bring peace to the region. You may judge iot to be a failed strategy, and bad execution, but the the intent behind our occupation of that country was to give Iraqis a chance at democracy. I do not believe we went there to control the oil, despite what all the Bush haters say. I think the US is still the only country to win a war and not keep the spoils. Your welcome Europe, Japan, Bosnia, Granada, Panama.
Yesterday at lunch, my anti-Bush companion asserted that the Bush administration was big on promises but they still have not made good on monetary pledges of aid to Africa. This sort of nitpicking does not help. Jon Stewart, fake newscaster of the Daily Show showed a clip of Star Jones on The View (ABC) was discussing the near-miss she had experienced. "I was just there last month," she said, referring to her honeymoon visit to one of the posh beach resorts that was destroyed by the Tsunami. "God blesses." she pronounced, apparently referring to the fact that God held back until SHE was home safe, before going ahead and killing hundreds of thousands of people. Jon Stewart wondered how far up your own ass must your head be to make a statement like that.
To those who denigrate the US, just check the news. Oil Rich and Muslim countries Saudi Arabia and Kuwait were initially reported to be ante-ing up a mere $10million to help the victims. Saudi officials announced yesterday that they were adding another $20 mill. This will actually be paid by the US in the form of higher oil prices.
We are the champions of the world. Don't you forget it.
1/02/2005
Out With The Old
I spent the first day of the year 2005 in my traditional fashion - on the sofa, in front of the TV, with a cold beverage in hand. The college bowl games were pretty exciting. Texas - Michigan and Iowa-LSU games were down-to-the-wire nail biters. There is a difference between these games being played by young athletes - who play for love and glory - and those NFL games where the guys who show up are just working for a living. Last Monday, Philly took out their quarterback after three plays, to save him for the playoffs. They lost the game.
The question that comes to mind is: Why bother watching these "meaningless" games? Even the play-by-play announcers were bored. John Madden suggested that since Philly wasn't even trying to win, they should just call the game and let everyone go home.
When was the last time you watched a pre-season or pro-bowl game? Unless you are a hopeless loser with nothing else to do, you only tune in to watch games that mean something. Who wants to waste valuable time watching people who think they are just working? Not me, coach.
So, another year has arrived. I am conflicted by the simultaneous realization that
a) I managed to survive another year and
b) I probably will not win the megamillions lottery in 2005 either.
For some reason, I'm reminded of the comic strip where Dilbert encounters the Angel of Death. Dilbert exclaims "You don't look so grim to me."
The Reaper responds with a grin, "Unlike you, I love my job."
The realization that you are another year closer to the final destination is not morbid. It's just a fact of life. About the time when you pass the fifth decade of existence on this planet, it begins to sink-in that you have definitely passed the halfway mark. I notice that as we get older, my cohorts and I do not greet the new year with the same enthusiasm as we did during our callow youths. Yet, with the magic of psychotropic pharmaceuticals, we are able to look to the future with hope, equanimity and on-demand boners that last up to 36 hours.
In 2004, I continued my search for gainful employment in a job market that seemed chronically un-interested in my career experience. I did land a couple of temporary gigs, but nothing that would provide funding for the lavish lifestyle to which I aspire in my senior years. The good news is I did not attend any meetings. I did not feel the sting of the manager's whip. And I will not see nearly half of my earnings taken for government welfare programs, risky foreign adventure and funding municipal porkbarrel projects.
My wife thinks I should re-invent myself this year. She's been watching too much Dr. Phil, I think. Or maybe she thinks I should get cosmetic surgery. (I'm not sure they have a liposection unit large enough to make my love handles disappear.)
So, let us see what the gods have in store for us this year...a new Hellhole opportunity? A "reinvented" self-actualizer? Megamillions winner?
Who knows?
The question that comes to mind is: Why bother watching these "meaningless" games? Even the play-by-play announcers were bored. John Madden suggested that since Philly wasn't even trying to win, they should just call the game and let everyone go home.
When was the last time you watched a pre-season or pro-bowl game? Unless you are a hopeless loser with nothing else to do, you only tune in to watch games that mean something. Who wants to waste valuable time watching people who think they are just working? Not me, coach.
So, another year has arrived. I am conflicted by the simultaneous realization that
a) I managed to survive another year and
b) I probably will not win the megamillions lottery in 2005 either.
For some reason, I'm reminded of the comic strip where Dilbert encounters the Angel of Death. Dilbert exclaims "You don't look so grim to me."
The Reaper responds with a grin, "Unlike you, I love my job."
The realization that you are another year closer to the final destination is not morbid. It's just a fact of life. About the time when you pass the fifth decade of existence on this planet, it begins to sink-in that you have definitely passed the halfway mark. I notice that as we get older, my cohorts and I do not greet the new year with the same enthusiasm as we did during our callow youths. Yet, with the magic of psychotropic pharmaceuticals, we are able to look to the future with hope, equanimity and on-demand boners that last up to 36 hours.
In 2004, I continued my search for gainful employment in a job market that seemed chronically un-interested in my career experience. I did land a couple of temporary gigs, but nothing that would provide funding for the lavish lifestyle to which I aspire in my senior years. The good news is I did not attend any meetings. I did not feel the sting of the manager's whip. And I will not see nearly half of my earnings taken for government welfare programs, risky foreign adventure and funding municipal porkbarrel projects.
My wife thinks I should re-invent myself this year. She's been watching too much Dr. Phil, I think. Or maybe she thinks I should get cosmetic surgery. (I'm not sure they have a liposection unit large enough to make my love handles disappear.)
So, let us see what the gods have in store for us this year...a new Hellhole opportunity? A "reinvented" self-actualizer? Megamillions winner?
Who knows?
1/01/2005
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