Necessity is the mother

Thinking about reinventing myself. It's pretty obvious that hiring managers are not interested in the old Me:
- The aging, insubordinate, prima donna systems analyst.
- The fussy bastard who complains about everything from unacceptable working conditions to excessive useless meetings.
- The curmudgeon who rails at the prospect of commuting for more than 15 minutes, who takes 90 minute lunches, who stays home at the first sign of a sniffle, who insists on being sent to boondoggle User Conferences in places like San Francisco, Las Vegas and New Orleans.
- The fraidy-cat self-preservationist who refuses to even apply for a job in a location that might be attacked by terrorists (ie, any company that has offices above the fourth floor).
- The obstinate foot-dragger who insists on designing usability into those tedious business applications.
- The self-appointed Director of Dissent, donut aficionado, and first-one-in-line at the Coffee Wagon.

So, perhaps it is high time to evolve to a new profile. You know, the type that managers like to have on their teams:
- Hard working, entrepreneurial spirited, get-it-done mentality.
- Hands-on experience with every system platform and software utility ever produced.
- Competitive sociopath with monomaniacal focus.
- Willing to go the distance, step-up to the plate, win one for the gipper.
- Positive can-do spirit, especially when implementing the managers agenda, however flawed.
- Docile, loyal, eager-to-please, regardless of how idiotic are the directions from above.
- Thin, shaven, recently bathed and wearing clean clothes.
- Willing to suffer complete assholes, long meetings, tedious commuting distances, outrageous working conditions (eg, cubicles, no cafeteria, professional dress code), and lengthy work days.

Hmmn. This will be a challenge.
Hey, I just noticed tonight's Mega-million lottery jackpot is $92 million. Talk about re-inventing myself.... Yeah. That's the ticket....