Out With The Old

I spent the first day of the year 2005 in my traditional fashion - on the sofa, in front of the TV, with a cold beverage in hand. The college bowl games were pretty exciting. Texas - Michigan and Iowa-LSU games were down-to-the-wire nail biters. There is a difference between these games being played by young athletes - who play for love and glory - and those NFL games where the guys who show up are just working for a living. Last Monday, Philly took out their quarterback after three plays, to save him for the playoffs. They lost the game.

The question that comes to mind is: Why bother watching these "meaningless" games? Even the play-by-play announcers were bored. John Madden suggested that since Philly wasn't even trying to win, they should just call the game and let everyone go home.

When was the last time you watched a pre-season or pro-bowl game? Unless you are a hopeless loser with nothing else to do, you only tune in to watch games that mean something. Who wants to waste valuable time watching people who think they are just working? Not me, coach.

So, another year has arrived. I am conflicted by the simultaneous realization that
a) I managed to survive another year and
b) I probably will not win the megamillions lottery in 2005 either.

For some reason, I'm reminded of the comic strip where Dilbert encounters the Angel of Death. Dilbert exclaims "You don't look so grim to me."
The Reaper responds with a grin, "Unlike you, I love my job."

The realization that you are another year closer to the final destination is not morbid. It's just a fact of life. About the time when you pass the fifth decade of existence on this planet, it begins to sink-in that you have definitely passed the halfway mark. I notice that as we get older, my cohorts and I do not greet the new year with the same enthusiasm as we did during our callow youths. Yet, with the magic of psychotropic pharmaceuticals, we are able to look to the future with hope, equanimity and on-demand boners that last up to 36 hours.

In 2004, I continued my search for gainful employment in a job market that seemed chronically un-interested in my career experience. I did land a couple of temporary gigs, but nothing that would provide funding for the lavish lifestyle to which I aspire in my senior years. The good news is I did not attend any meetings. I did not feel the sting of the manager's whip. And I will not see nearly half of my earnings taken for government welfare programs, risky foreign adventure and funding municipal porkbarrel projects.

My wife thinks I should re-invent myself this year. She's been watching too much Dr. Phil, I think. Or maybe she thinks I should get cosmetic surgery. (I'm not sure they have a liposection unit large enough to make my love handles disappear.)

So, let us see what the gods have in store for us this year...a new Hellhole opportunity? A "reinvented" self-actualizer? Megamillions winner?
Who knows?