The Secret to Success

People keep asking me "What kind of work do you do."
Even my lovely wife and kids cannot really explain what I do for a living.

Sometimes I wish I had an easily understood job title. Cop, Firefighter, Dog Catcher - everyone knows what these people are doing. But if you tell them that you are a systems analyst, and chances are, they will nod and paste a phony smile on their face while their vacant eyes tell you everything about how little they know about systems or analysis. You might as well tell them that you are a phrenologyst or a tonsorial artist.

So here is my job description in a nutshell:
I go into the office nearly every weekday around 9:30 or so depending on weather, traffic, hangover, and mood. I go to my "cube" and turn on the thingybob. The technical term for it is Kumputa. I sit in front of the Kumputa for about half the day, writing up notes from meetings and discussions. The other half of the day is spent having discussions with people and going to meetings.

You might well ask: "What are you doing that is worth a fiddlers fart?"

Aha, it is with that type of query that you reveal your true naivetie. Let me clue you in on a big secret: Success at work is not about what you do.
Go ahead and try to refute that statement. You can't. Name anyone who you think is successful and I can show you a thousand unsuccessful people who are as-good-or-better at the same kind of work.

What made the difference was not what they did, but what people in power think they did.

And what, dear readers, makes the difference beween what you really did and what they think you did? (Audience yells: "Status Reports!" ) You are right!

The main difference between me and the smarter, more technically savvy, younger, thinner and better-looking (but lower paid) analysts on my team is one thing: I write better.

Being a great writer is a gift which I take no personal credit for. Just as others were born better-looking and smarter, I was just lucky to have been born with an uncanny ability to make molehills of modest accomplishment seem like lofty mountains of unparalleled excellence.

When other (less gifted) analysts write the notes from their meeting with Mr Bigshot, they hurredly jot: "Met with Mr. Big. Discussed new Billing system requirements." Now, seeing this on one of your minions' weekly status report might simply induce a yawn, if you noticed it at all.
But consider how a Writer documents one of the most important summit meetings ever held in this hemisphere: "In a 90 minute meeting with "Doug" Bigshot, the single most important criteria for success in this project is measuring Billing process turnaround time. With these metrics business managers can measure their progress in improving processes and making them more responsive to their customers."

See? Not only did I use a lot of (possibly meaningless) jargon and buzzwords, faithfully recorded from the horses mouth, but I also gave my boss some new phrases to add to his (or her) status report. This is the nugget of how to be successful. You quote the words of the Bigshot and treat then as if he was the authority on best practices in your field. Kachink.

So there you have it: The Answer.
Now, what was the question again?