Some times I wonder why I seem to be so out-of-sync with my culture.

The news programs on the day after thanksgiving were predictably focused on the coverage of "black Friday" which refers to the bump that retail merchants expect to get from the hordes of shoppers who cannot wait one more day to start their xmas shopping.

This year there were the usual stories about people who waited outside in the cold just to be first in line to buy an Xbox at Wal-Mart. This is when I question why someone would do that? Then I think of all the 'sheeple' you see on the evening so-called news who are perfectly willling to stand in line to get tickets to a baseball game or to watch the parrot guy sing Margaritaville for the ten-thousanth time. Well, I guess I am glad for them. After all I do believe in capitalism and the victims doen't seem to mind.
The problem for me is I am line-phobic. Those who know me will tell you that I am patient with most aspects of life. But, I hate standing in lines. My wife is just the opposite. Most people who grew up in the shadow of NYC were acclimated to lines for everything. Deli, Bus, Toilet, Gas Station, Laundry, Soup - everything. NYC people see a line and rush to get into it before you; then, they ask what the line is for. You could not get me to wait in line for Guaranteed Eternal Salvation.
One exception that I can think of: If the entire financial system collapses and the liquor stores close because money is worthless, I would stand in line to trade all my Excellence Awards and plaques for a single cup of Dewars.

I was cleaning out my "office" in the basement the other day, and was impressed by the collection of Plaques and "Certificates of Accomplishement" I had received over the years.
Most of these were meaningless "attaboy" incentives that some mouthbreathing manager thought would motivate me to work harder.

Then there were the training certificates. Talk about impressive. I had evidence that I have attended Training in Project Management, Presentation Skills, Developing Superior Negotiation Techniques, Documenting Business Rules, and Re-engineering Business Processes. I have another folder attesting to my attendance at 5 different PeopleSoft classes, several for software companies that I had long forgotten. Then there were several certificates for "seminars" that I had attended in Data Warehousing, Business Intelligence, Visual Display of Information, and similar topics. I also had stuff from Vendor User Group meetings that had been held in places like Atlanta, Orlando, SanFranciso, and (pre-deluvian) New Orleans.

It occured to me that the companies that I worked for had paid the bill for each of these "learning" venues. A quick estimate of the total cost of all this education is probably between $30-40K. In retrospect I conclude that most of this expense was a waste. Not that I failed to have a good time traveling to these fun places and getting paid attending class as opposed to working - I did find this use of my time totally worthwhile. No, the waste was for the companies that I worked for who were paying the bills. Most of the stuff we learned at these seminars and classes was ignored by our management. I recall one senior manager greeting a group of newly promoted managers as we returned from Management Training100. He said, "OK you had a nice week enjoying the Ocean view and eating gourmet food. Now forget everything they told you and let's get back to work."

I tossed all the meaningless certificates and awards in the trash, the same way you chuck yesterday's newspaper. I wonder why I saved them all this time.