Welcome to “Meteorological Spring.”

It just keeps falling.

We returned from our Florida getaway slightly over a week ago. In the past eight days we have had overnight snow three times – two requiring shoveling. If that wasn’t enough we had 2 “wintery mix” events which ended-up dumping at least an inch of pelting rain on already icy surfaces. There is a mini- glacier forming in my driveway. I need an ice axe and cleats just to go out and find the morning paper.

Like you, I am pretty tired of hearing complaints about the weather, so it is with great pleasure that I declare a hearty welcome to “meteorological spring.” Funny, I always thought Spring started when the sun achieves equinox, usually around March 21st. That is when the sun is directly above the equator at noon, which marks the traditional demarcation of seasons. Equal night and equal day.

But for some reason, it never rose to my attention that weather people prefer to think of seasons in terms of three complete months.  So here we are in Spring.

Let the melting begin.

I liked the good old days when the weather dude would come on TV at the same time every night and tell you what to wear tomorrow.   Nowadays, the weather has become headline news. If you are looking for advice on what to wear tomorrow you are held hostage through numerous “teases” and stories about extreme weather. You cannot get a useful local forecast unless you listen to the entire half hour "news" broadcast. The weather channel is even worse, with elevator music, technical information and the information you want is briefly flashed in the moving textual crawl at the bottom. Who reads that fast? It’s frustrating so you need to go to the computer to get useful information on demand.

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Speaking of reasons to avoid watching TV,

If you have been watching lately, you probably have noticed the similarity between the interviews with Moammar Khadafy and Charlie Sheen. In both cases you see a person denying the reality that everyone around them sees. Both of them think they are full of tiger blood and Amazon DNA.  We think they are full of crap.

Watching Sheen ranting, I was appalled to learn that he still had custody of his two year old sons.  What child welfare authorities could see this nutjob ranting and not fear for the children's safety? No problem, bro, the Godessess (the hooker and the porn star) take care of the kids.  I was releived to hear the news today that police had taken the kids to their mother.

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I heard a good one yesterday: 
A CEO, a Tea-Party Supporter and a Wisconsin Teacher's union guy were sitting at a table.  There is a plate with a dozen cookies in front of them.  The CEO grabs 11 of the cookies, turns to the Tea-Party supporter and says, "Watch out, The Union guy wants a bite out of your cookie."