Ok, Ok, I get it. There is a big storm coming our way. Hurricane Irene. Perhaps the mother of all storms, landing thud right on my vegetable garden just when I've managed to pick a few decent home grown tomatoes.
What's that you say? It hasn't even hit the US mainland yet. It could fizzle. Nice try, Mr Calm. Take your skepticism down the hall. This time the sky IS falling!...this time it's gonna be a trillion dollar disaster! The New York City subways and Tunnels will be flooded because of an 8 foot tidal surge. Boston will be inundated with 5 or 10 inches of rain. Your basement will have at least 7 inches of water just like March of 2010. This will be the second "hundred-year" event in three years!
The forecasters and news readers have become gleeful fearmongers. They are running out of scary scenarios. In panic, property owners are rushing to batten-down hatches, or pulling their boats from the water, and vacationers are checking-out early so they will not be stuck when the big winds begin to blow. The supermarkets are doing a brisk business selling drinking water and batteries. Liquor stores are selling out of scotch and gin. People are scared. For once in my life, I do not feel envy for people with beachfront property and a nice cabin cruiser tied -up at the marina.
It's been a classic Man vs Nature month so far. A Richter 5.9 earthquake hit Virginia last week, and the tremors were apparently felt by some locals here in Boston metro west. Obviously not folks like us who live within a few blocks of the RR tracks. We get the equivalent of 5.9 temblors every time a freight train goes by -- and often accompanied by a piercing blast from their high decibel horns as a lagniappe.
President Obama has been vacationing on Martha's Vineyard, and was playing golf when the ground shook. Reportedly, he blamed the quake for a missed putt.
I have been fighting my own personal war against nature, in my losing effort to harvest ripe tomatoes. My foes, the chipmunks and squirrels have been winning, despite heavy losses ( at least 12 casualties verified) on their side, thanks to my knuckle-breaker rat traps. I bait them with pieces of tomato so the only rodents I have slain were tomato eaters. The squirrels have been repelled by shiny CD's hung on fishing line. They catch the light and turn in the slightest breeze, which spooks the squirrels, and i have not seen one near the vines. In recent weeks, the traps have begun to loosen the chipmunks' stronghold on my garden. I have managed to pick a few ripe ones -- and our salads are to die for. I have offered amnesty to all non tomato eating chipmunks. Victory will soon be ours! (That is, unless Irene wrecks everything.)
Stay tuned.
UPDATE: Aug 28th
Irene where is thy sting?
Looks like I am not the only one to think the hype was overdone
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/08/28/hurricane-irene-hype-how-the-media-went-overboard.html
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
8/26/2011
3/02/2011
Welcome to “Meteorological Spring.”
 |
| It just keeps falling. |
Like you, I am pretty tired of hearing complaints about the weather, so it is with great pleasure that I declare a hearty welcome to “meteorological spring.” Funny, I always thought Spring started when the sun achieves equinox, usually around March 21st. That is when the sun is directly above the equator at noon, which marks the traditional demarcation of seasons. Equal night and equal day.
But for some reason, it never rose to my attention that weather people prefer to think of seasons in terms of three complete months. So here we are in Spring.
Let the melting begin.
I liked the good old days when the weather dude would come on TV at the same time every night and tell you what to wear tomorrow. Nowadays, the weather has become headline news. If you are looking for advice on what to wear tomorrow you are held hostage through numerous “teases” and stories about extreme weather. You cannot get a useful local forecast unless you listen to the entire half hour "news" broadcast. The weather channel is even worse, with elevator music, technical information and the information you want is briefly flashed in the moving textual crawl at the bottom. Who reads that fast? It’s frustrating so you need to go to the computer to get useful information on demand.
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Speaking of reasons to avoid watching TV,
If you have been watching lately, you probably have noticed the similarity between the interviews with Moammar Khadafy and Charlie Sheen. In both cases you see a person denying the reality that everyone around them sees. Both of them think they are full of tiger blood and Amazon DNA. We think they are full of crap.
Watching Sheen ranting, I was appalled to learn that he still had custody of his two year old sons. What child welfare authorities could see this nutjob ranting and not fear for the children's safety? No problem, bro, the Godessess (the hooker and the porn star) take care of the kids. I was releived to hear the news today that police had taken the kids to their mother.
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I heard a good one yesterday:
A CEO, a Tea-Party Supporter and a Wisconsin Teacher's union guy were sitting at a table. There is a plate with a dozen cookies in front of them. The CEO grabs 11 of the cookies, turns to the Tea-Party supporter and says, "Watch out, The Union guy wants a bite out of your cookie."
8/19/2009
Why I didn't Enter the Best Tomato Contest this year
This is what home grown tomatoes are supposed to look like at this time of year
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This is what my tomatoes look like.
The weather in New England was not very good for tomato growing this year. During June and July we had the rainiest and coolest summer in memory. August has been seasonal but my poor golfball sized Jetstars need a lot of catching up if I am going to have ripe tomatoes before frost.
Like the folk singer says, "Thays only two things that money can't buy, and that's true love and home grown termaters." Amen to that.
2/29/2008
Adventures in Paradise
So, I don't know when I will have access to a computer during the next several weeks, but in the event that you don't see any posts here for a while, I should explain.
We are off to Hawaii. It is a long and arduous trip from the east coast. 6 hrs to LAX, 2 hr layover, 6.5 hours to Lihue in Hawaii. The weather forecast calls for several inches of snow on the ground by tomorrow morning at Logan airport. We are nervous as cats and the cats are getting antsy wondering why we are so jumpy. We don't make eye contact with them because we feel guilty leaving them behind. They will be fine. Our neighbor is coming in daily to feed them.
Don't ask any more questions. I'll fill you in on everything when I get back
We are off to Hawaii. It is a long and arduous trip from the east coast. 6 hrs to LAX, 2 hr layover, 6.5 hours to Lihue in Hawaii. The weather forecast calls for several inches of snow on the ground by tomorrow morning at Logan airport. We are nervous as cats and the cats are getting antsy wondering why we are so jumpy. We don't make eye contact with them because we feel guilty leaving them behind. They will be fine. Our neighbor is coming in daily to feed them.
Don't ask any more questions. I'll fill you in on everything when I get back
2/19/2007
Gluteal Freezing
Nineteen degrees Fahrenheit at high noon today. It is amazing that human beings can even survive in this climate, let alone choose to live here during the Winter.
OK, maybe we are just a tad spoiled by the short 9 day Florida getaway. We have discussed our options for the future and have made a firm decision to extend our visit to the southern climes to a month or even six weeks next winter. By that time, neither of us expects to have the interference of full time jobs to encumber us.
Note to the kids: Don't worry. We are not on the verge of putting the family home up for sale, heading South to spend your inheritance on a lavish beachfront mansion with an expensive cabin cruiser moored at our private dock. We have not even entertained those thoughts - honestly!
Of course, no one would blame us if we were thinking about it - which I assure you we have not. At our age, Winter is no longer a friend. The days when we anticipated fluffy snow fallen slopes and frozen ponds upon which to glide and carve have given way to aches and pains, tender epidermis, sore backs and joints; and a deep loathing for the cold arid arctic blasts.
These days, we skip the daily walk and stay warmly inside the house when the weather turns nasty. On frigid days like this, we tremble at the thought of slipping on the ice and shattering our increasingly brittle bones*; we are haunted by visions of helpless hospitalization, followed by a long recuperation punctuated by innumerable visits to an overwhelming array of health care specialists - for xrays, physical therapy, counseling for depression, acupuncture, rabies shots (just in case...). Also there are the predictable and prolonged haggling with health care insurance providers over co-pays and the costs of approved tier medications.
Even worse, we dread the thought of having the mailman or some un-invited visitor slip and fall in our driveway and sue us for all we are worth. So, I find myself going out in the middle of winter blizzards, shoveling the wet snow, ignoring the shortness of breath, the numbing left arm and burning chest pains - because the driveway must be cleared before the storm turns to rain and freezes into a sheet of slick cement. Despite the symptoms of a possible heart attack, I risk frostbite and even death to avoid the possibility of being sued into poverty.
There are no longer any kids in the neighborhood who would even think of shoveling your walk for less than $50. (I do not have a line item on my budget for such extravagance. What do I look like, Governor De Ville?) Even if we were willing to deplete our lifetime savings for such labors, we could not find a willing worker. These days kids don't need to earn money. Many of them wear sneakers that cost more than the 1950 Chevy I bought back in 1960. In my day, we would shovel all day in our sneakers and tee shirt to earn $3). Kids are not allowed to go door to door soliciting anymore because - thanks to reality shows on TV - we now know that every household on your street contains at least one raving lunatic, drug addict, sex offender, witch or lawyer. Too dangerous for kids to approach without a parental overseer.
Given the life-threatening dangers of occupying a 3 bedroom house in suburban Boston during the Winter, it would perhaps not be un-thinkable for a couple who have worked hard all of their lives, stayed out of jail, and accumulated a small nest egg to support them in their elder years – might dream of finding a nice warm haven to rest their increasingly fragile bones* far away from the vile winds of winter.
But we are Yankees who were raised to believe in thrift and parsimony. Don’t worry, kids. Rather than spending your inheritance on lavish personal amenities, we will just persevere here in frigid New England, subsisting on cold cereal mixed with melted snow, spending our days watching Court TV and Jerry Springer. It could be worse: At least we don't live in Dayton, Ohio**.
What we should all be worried about is global freezing, and whether they will ever bury poor Anna Nicole Smith?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
*This danger is highlighted by several advertisers of nightly news programs.
**Dayton, Ohio is alleged by my sister-in-law, who lived there for several years, to be the "least desirable place to live on this entire planet."
OK, maybe we are just a tad spoiled by the short 9 day Florida getaway. We have discussed our options for the future and have made a firm decision to extend our visit to the southern climes to a month or even six weeks next winter. By that time, neither of us expects to have the interference of full time jobs to encumber us.
Note to the kids: Don't worry. We are not on the verge of putting the family home up for sale, heading South to spend your inheritance on a lavish beachfront mansion with an expensive cabin cruiser moored at our private dock. We have not even entertained those thoughts - honestly!
Of course, no one would blame us if we were thinking about it - which I assure you we have not. At our age, Winter is no longer a friend. The days when we anticipated fluffy snow fallen slopes and frozen ponds upon which to glide and carve have given way to aches and pains, tender epidermis, sore backs and joints; and a deep loathing for the cold arid arctic blasts.
These days, we skip the daily walk and stay warmly inside the house when the weather turns nasty. On frigid days like this, we tremble at the thought of slipping on the ice and shattering our increasingly brittle bones*; we are haunted by visions of helpless hospitalization, followed by a long recuperation punctuated by innumerable visits to an overwhelming array of health care specialists - for xrays, physical therapy, counseling for depression, acupuncture, rabies shots (just in case...). Also there are the predictable and prolonged haggling with health care insurance providers over co-pays and the costs of approved tier medications.
Even worse, we dread the thought of having the mailman or some un-invited visitor slip and fall in our driveway and sue us for all we are worth. So, I find myself going out in the middle of winter blizzards, shoveling the wet snow, ignoring the shortness of breath, the numbing left arm and burning chest pains - because the driveway must be cleared before the storm turns to rain and freezes into a sheet of slick cement. Despite the symptoms of a possible heart attack, I risk frostbite and even death to avoid the possibility of being sued into poverty.
There are no longer any kids in the neighborhood who would even think of shoveling your walk for less than $50. (I do not have a line item on my budget for such extravagance. What do I look like, Governor De Ville?) Even if we were willing to deplete our lifetime savings for such labors, we could not find a willing worker. These days kids don't need to earn money. Many of them wear sneakers that cost more than the 1950 Chevy I bought back in 1960. In my day, we would shovel all day in our sneakers and tee shirt to earn $3). Kids are not allowed to go door to door soliciting anymore because - thanks to reality shows on TV - we now know that every household on your street contains at least one raving lunatic, drug addict, sex offender, witch or lawyer. Too dangerous for kids to approach without a parental overseer.
Given the life-threatening dangers of occupying a 3 bedroom house in suburban Boston during the Winter, it would perhaps not be un-thinkable for a couple who have worked hard all of their lives, stayed out of jail, and accumulated a small nest egg to support them in their elder years – might dream of finding a nice warm haven to rest their increasingly fragile bones* far away from the vile winds of winter.
But we are Yankees who were raised to believe in thrift and parsimony. Don’t worry, kids. Rather than spending your inheritance on lavish personal amenities, we will just persevere here in frigid New England, subsisting on cold cereal mixed with melted snow, spending our days watching Court TV and Jerry Springer. It could be worse: At least we don't live in Dayton, Ohio**.
What we should all be worried about is global freezing, and whether they will ever bury poor Anna Nicole Smith?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
*This danger is highlighted by several advertisers of nightly news programs.
**Dayton, Ohio is alleged by my sister-in-law, who lived there for several years, to be the "least desirable place to live on this entire planet."
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