Zombies in your living room

One of Steven King's lessor works was a 2006 novel called "Cell." The premise of the story is that a never-explained source of the worldwide cellphone network creates a mysterious pulse that is broadcast on all operating cell phones. Everyone who is on the phone turns into a zombie. Anyone who is on their phone is immediately turned into lurching living dead. The crazed "phoners" gather in groups to hunt and attack the one who were not afflicted (normals).

Although the novel was published before the current wave of "smart" phones, I cannot help being reminded of it as a metaphor for what actually happens when normal (flip-phone) people get a "smart" phone. Smart means any of the flat phones - iphones, blackberries, droids, etc. with tiny screens and keyboards that connect the device to email and Internet. Oh yeah, they also make phone calls.

When someone gets one of these devices you and their other contacts are suddenly deluged with poorly focused video and snapshots, and text messages (eg, "u nvr guess who is sittng nxt to us." Attached is a blurry photo of someone who looks like Brad Pitt.) You keep getting calls but no one is there. When you dial them back they say, "oh it must have been an ass-dial. Oops i have another call bye now."

Smart phoners turn into mesmerized information crazed zombies. Perhaps you have noticed that people who have acquired a new smart phone begin to exhibit a personality change. Visitors who were previously interesting and polite now display a rude disregard for normal rules of attentiveness and an unabashed preoccupation with something other than your company. They come into a room and place the smart phone on the nearest flat surface so they can watch it in case they get a new tweet or email message. From that moment on, your conversation is punctuated by their incoming calls and text messages which require their immediate reply.

First, you feel embarrassed for them and their dis-social zombie-like transformation. Then, you start to become angry at their apparent disrespect for your companionship. You can't wait for them to leave; and your interest in future socialization melts like a dropped popsicle on a hot summer sidewalk.

They are everywhere: at the pub, at the theater, in museums, restaurants, libraries, stores, even at the pool. I guess they think they are cool. The rest of us think they are annoying.