Decisions

Ok. Here it is Thursday. I'm on my way back from the beach. The tide was out and the winds were low today so the waves were gentle (less than 7 feet) and they let me swim in the ocean.
I could stay all day, except for the little detail about the blazing sun and my exceptionally pale complexion. Only a few more days here - we return to the mainland on Monday.

I seem to recall that my dermatologist firmly advised me to go and have a cold beer after spending 30 minutes in the bright light. But, I stopped in the library to get a new book - I have been reading too much fiction - I should check out the Mainland papers and see how my retirement fund is doing. Ah well what could go wrong?

Anyhow, I have an hour on this computer and I could spend it updating the blog... Or, I could go across the street to Pizzettas, where Happy Hour runs from noon to six o'clock, and I can get an icy pint of Kona Red Rock Pale Ale on draft there for $2.50. It's 86 degrees outside and the air conditioner here is not working too well. Hmmn what shall I do?

They Don't Celebrate St. Paddy's Day in Paradise

Humph. Like I am the only guy on the Island wearing green socks yesterday, proudly displaying my Irish heritage and beer belly. The locals are not interested in St Patrick. There have never never been any serpents in this Garden Isle - hence the proliferation of wild chickens - and perhaps this fact leaves poor St Patrick as a non-hero in their eyes. I not see a shamrock or a touch o green anywhere. The bars we selling the same Mai Tai and Rum Runner specials, but no Harp or Guinness to be seen anywhere.

I did hear that there was an Irish Pub in Honolulu, but that's a long swim from here. Besides, my keeper only allows me to have 2 beers a day, so it's not like I can party with the other FFI's. (to use the acronym my friend George uses to refer to Fat-faced Irishmen). So I contented myself with a Sam Adams to wash down my Irish Mahimahi at dinner last night.

Today I am back to white socks, and I am not getting the same stares.

Hot Enough for you?

Greetings from Kaua'i. We are taking refuge from the blasting sun in the Princeville Library, northern end of the island. We ate lunch at Hannalei Bay, the most beutiful beach I have ever seen - with a view of fabled Bali Hi from South Pacific. It is pronounced "Honalayee" - and is reputed to be the inspiration for the old Peter, Paul and Mary song called "Puff the Magic Dragon." The mountains lie like a sprawling dragon along to the west while you look out at 5 foot green rollers.
We are now 6 hours behind Boston. We are watching the closing stock market prices at breakfast.

The other day I was in the surf when the lifeguard whistled me in.
"There's a pretty strong rip in there." he said.
"Yah, I felt it. "
"So, you look like you are doing ok, but it would help if you moved over there..." he pointed to a part of the beach where the waves were less turbid, where the little kids were allowed to swim by themselves.
"Just so nobody sees you in there and thinks they can... you know, gets themselves in trouble..." he gives me a nice friendly grin.
I moved over and floated around in the 2 foot waves . I figured it was just his firendly way of telling me that he is tired of pulling blubbery drowning geezers out of the surf.

They are very worried about tourists drowning here. I guess they lose a few every month. It doesn't look good on their lifeguard resumes, I am sure.
We are having a great time. Stop hating us.

Adventures in Paradise

So, I don't know when I will have access to a computer during the next several weeks, but in the event that you don't see any posts here for a while, I should explain.



We are off to Hawaii. It is a long and arduous trip from the east coast. 6 hrs to LAX, 2 hr layover, 6.5 hours to Lihue in Hawaii. The weather forecast calls for several inches of snow on the ground by tomorrow morning at Logan airport. We are nervous as cats and the cats are getting antsy wondering why we are so jumpy. We don't make eye contact with them because we feel guilty leaving them behind. They will be fine. Our neighbor is coming in daily to feed them.

Don't ask any more questions. I'll fill you in on everything when I get back

Digging in the Dirt for Truth

I got an email from one of my neocon fans yesterday that quoted another post on some arcane financial blog that hinted that Obama was a closet Muslim, Racist and a relative of bad boys in Africa. How many politicians would stand up to such scrutinty, I wonder. These are the same sources who were outraged at the innuendo of shady dealings with a lobbyist that were alleged in a NYT article about snow-white Juan McAmnesty.


It is difficult to vet every wild accusation, but the link
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/obama.asp#church has responses to some of the rumor and innuendo that is being run up the flagpole.

I find it interesting that the usual Anti-any-thing-democrat factions are targeting Obama, because they fear that he would kick McCain's proud posterior in the general election, but that is politics, eh? They would rather see Mrs. Clinton as the Dem nominee, since most national polls have Hillary being tromped by Juan McAmnesty.

I also find it interesting that we are getting detailed info on his cousins and brothers, but no hard evidence on his deeds, which are after all, the critical measure of performance. I personally do not subscribe to nor do I take credit/blame for the actions and beliefs of my siblings or cousins, do you?

Finally, I find it odd that anti-Obama forces are looking for skeletons in the family closet when the most effective counter to Obama is his own record - or lack of it. Like John Kerry - who spent 20-odd years in the senate without accomplishing anything - Obama has done nothing to qualify him as President of The United States.

In other words he is just as qualified as McCain and Clinton!

It will be fun to see what dirt is dug up on Ralph Nader.

Your call is not that important to us

I am not anti-technology. However, I have always been critical of the world's worst application of digital technology: Interactive Voice Response (or IVR), which replaces phone-answering humans with automated voice messaging. The worst offender is Verizon - where you cannot talk to a human unless you spend at least ten minutes listening to your options as presented by a pleasant but digitally-mastered dominatrix.

Don't freaking lecture me about operational costs and efficiency. I am only interested in getting someone to give me some compensation for the hassles associated with my FIOS installation. And how come my Rebate Request is th only piece of mail that has been "lost" by USPS in my lifetime?

Your call is important to us, we apologize for the delay, but due to the heavy volume of calls we are making you wait - and possibly waste your valuable time - until for one of the few underpaid agents who probably don't speak your native tongue and who were not trained to handle your problem - can take your call. We apologize for the wait, but in truth, if we really cared, we would have hired more agents and trained them. This call may be monitored to check up on the agent to make sure they are not making personal calls to relatives in India. Thank you for your patience. [distorted Kenny G version of "Georgia on my Mind" plays in an endless loop]

I guess the attitude of management is "Outstanding Customer Service means making callers wait until they give-up in frustration. Hey the competition is just as bad, so, why should we give a crap? That's why we make the big bucks - we save money for the stockholders. Let the customers eat cake."

Thank you for your continued patience.

Quick, What's the Number for 9-1-1?

Today, local Boston talk show host Jay Severin 96.9FM was so excited about the swelling body of evidence that Hillary Clinton (Satan) was going to lose the Democratic party's nomination for President, that he expresssed his fear that he would need to call a doctor to treat a case of priapism, which he was certain would last for more than four hours.

Fair, Balanced & Full of Crap

The latest example of breaking non-news Fox leads with this headline

"Lost JFK Assassination Documents Believed Found in Dallas Courthouse "

So were they found or weren't they? And who is it that believes that they were found?
You would think that reading a story with such a grammatically damaged lead might actually have some useful information. But let me save you from wasting your time - as I did.

They found a (bad) script from the files of a guy who wanted to write the screenplay for a movie. How is this news?

This is on the same day that another headline informs us:

"Gary Coleman Says He and Wife Have Not Yet Made Love"
Did you really need to know that? Doesn't it just drag your mind to places you really didn't want to go?

Ooh ooh wait! Another piece of Hard News demands our urgent attention:

"Father of Dodi al Fayed Blames Royals for Diana's Death at Inquest "

Again, nothing new. No evidence. Only accustations. Ten Years later, still nothing.


Fox is not alone. All the news networks have become so competitive that they rush to be out there with any scintilla of data that they can pump-up to fill the news programs, webpages, airwaves. We who watch TV news are pretty much wasting our time if we sit through all the teasers and commercials expecting facts when they finally get to the "breaking story."

They proudly declare "You saw it here first!"
Who gives a crap about first? We just want the facts, dude."

Sleeping with the Sharks

Roy Scheider, the hero cop in the monster movie Jaws has died at age 75.

Hmmn, the notice says he won an Oscer for his role in "All That Jazz." Really? I didn't see that one. Not really my kind of flick. About a dancer, I think. Somewhat less macho that the role of shark-killing lawman.

Jaws was an amazing movie on several levels. The screenplay and dialogue were expertly crafted. Virtually nothing in the movie was irrelevant to the story. The use of sound and symbol to get the viewers' hearts racing was scary in its manipulative genius. The lameness of the phony-looking shark head that they used as a prop was overshadowed by the tension of the moment. I recall seeing it in the theater and joining the audience in a audible GASP when the shark finally appears.

The images of that movie have stayed with me (and I suspect many others) ever since then. Even 33 years later, I remain leery when swimming in the ocean deep water. Try not to swim like a wounded fish, I tell myself. Don't go over your head. What's that shadow in the water?

The obit says, "In 2005, one of Scheider's most famous lines in the movie - ''You're gonna need a bigger boat'' - was voted No. 35 on the American Film Institute's list of best quotes from U.S. movies."

I have used that line repeatedly throughout my career as a Business Systems Analyst. During the planning phase of most projects, there comes the moment when you realize that the deadlines are unrealistic given the scope of the plan and the scarcity of resources.

I would use the "We need a bigger boat" line to dramatize the point to inform the boss that we did not have enough resources to do the job well. Usually the boss would look at me and ask "What the [expletive] are you talking about?"

(Ach! The wretchedness of a poet trying to earn a living in the business world.)
I would explain the metaphor to little avail. The project would go on, like the Pequod in "Moby Dick", to meet its fate.

We - the more poetic minded - were fond using shipwreck disaster analogies, like "...rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic" for the irrelevance of many of our meetings and activities in the face of certain doom. (The managers preferred sports imagery like "Winning is the only thing. Losing is not an option.")

Typically, 99 out of 100 corporate system development projects were conceived by upper management types, who were trying to show their superiors that they possessed magical abilities. Thus, they always initiated projects that were under-funded, understaffed, and called for unreasonable deadlines. Somehow, they believed that they could acheive impossible results by exhorting, threatening or seducing the development staff.
It never worked. Not one project in my experience was completed on-time and on-budget. A few were considered successes, but most of them were abandoned before we got to implementation. Strangely enough, only a few of these projects were considered failures.

The wonderful thing about the corporate business world is the short tenure of management. They were always moving-up and away. New guys were always showing-up to take over. The subtle benefit of this executive turnover to the working staff was that none of the new managers felt responsible for projects that they "inherited." They often pronounced the old project obsolete. And then they would started a new major project that had their personal ego stamp on it ...

Thus the life of a corporate systems guy was a constant iteration of beginnings and very few endings - be they triumphant or even quasi-failures.

I never claimed to be the most astute bulb in the drawer, but I realized early-on that in business and politics, no one gets fired for failure. It was not a bad life: The people I worked with were usually fun and our companies spent a lot of money sending us to nice places in the name of training.

...And every now and then, one signs-on to the Project Orca and ends-up swimming home with a pretty good story to tell.

Thanks for the memories, Roy.

Another One Bites the Dust

Now Mitt Romney is out of it. I find this pretty annoying, because it means I wasted my vote last Tuesday. Very annoying. Mitt is doing the same thing with his campaign that he did for Massachusetts - abandoning it to improve his chances on the next election. He knows that McCain cannot beat the Democrat in November, so the Repubs will be looking for a rising star in 2012. (This also gives Mitt another four years to establish residency in a few more key delegate states :-)

The Caucus and Primary process clearly demonstrates that the public is an ignorant ass. As far as I can see, the main difference between Juan McAmnesty and [Obama/Clinton] is the fact that Juan supports US military presence in Iraq.

They are all equally soft on illegal immigration.
None of them think English should be the official language of the US.
None of them has any significant experience administering anything.
All of them are slippery Washington Politicians.

The list could go on, but you get the point. As Ross Perot used to remind us, there is not a whit of difference between the 2 main political parties - especially after they get elected.

If I had to vote today, I think I would seriously consider Obama. Not because I think he sucks less than the others, but electing a man of color would de facto prove that we are not a racist nation, and hopefully that will help put race-whores like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton out of "work". That might force them to get real jobs, so they could pay into the system for a change. Hey, there's a dream worth voting for....

They Wanted it More

Today the awareness of what happened yesterday in Arizona begins to sink in on the New England faithful. The numbness of the unexpected defeat has worn off. And so has the magic aura of the unbeatable Patriots.

While most of the rest of the country occupies itself by watching re-runs of the Superbowl ads and voting on their popularity, New York becomes the gloating capital of the Earth and the pitiful New England fans must wallow in the empty tub of defeat.

They lost. How could this happen? Some may blame it on the jinx of Belichick's abandoning his traditional gray hoodie for that gay red sweatshirt. Some will say that the New York Giants "wanted it more." Some will blame the loss on the distractions of the two week pre-game hyporama. A few will blame it on Hillary Clinton.

The fact is, New York protected Eli Manning all day. They harried and hurried Tom Brady, got him out of his rhythm and made him throw some bad passes. "They scored more points" as one perceptive analyst noted.

Well, I am not going to kick any cats today. It would have been fun to see the Pats win again, but the truth is, next season will be more interesting now. Let's hope the coach stops wearing that unlucky sweatshirt. .

It wasn't a total loss - I won $50 in the game betting pool. And, now the cancelled Boston victory parade will not interfere with Super Tuesday primary voting.

I wonder what they will do with all the champagne they were going to squirt at each other....

Congratulations to the Giants and their fans. Go ahead and gloat!

Lord knows, we would have

Zoo Etiquette

"Never Taunt a Tiger" --- Dead Kid at San Francisco Zoo

In the news today, one of the survivors of the tiger attack in San Francisco Zoo has now admitted that he and two others had been drunk and disorderly, standing on the fence, taunting the tiger that killed one of them.

They apparently never read the gripping story "The Tiger's Revenge" by Claude Balls.

I am not alone in my sense that it was a tragic loss of an innocent life because the police shot and killed the tiger.

Skip this Post

This is not a political blog, but as I am not currently working , I do not have some hideous Hellhole or clueless, ego-driven management to rail about, I yield to the countless fans who have e-mailed me with requests to discuss my viewpoint on the current political scene. (Oh, and thanks to both of you for writing).

So, if you are not interested in yet another boring narrative, please skip this post.

I have not decided on my choice for President yet. I could vote for Obama if he promises to appoint Oprah as his UN Ambassador :-) . Maya Angelou has come out in favor of Hillary, which is another nail in the Clinton coffin, as far as I am concerned. I used to think Hillary was smart and competent, but the more I hear of her talking about experience, I am forced to ask myself, "What experience? What was accomplished?" Obama, same question. I would not vote for Edwards for dog catcher. I see him as another oily professional Pol who would sell his grandmother to get ahead. Besides, if he is right, the special interests will ruin him in an election, painting him as a philandering ambulance chaser

On the other side, I'm leaning toward Mitt. I am a pretty active flip-flopper myself, so it doesn't bother me that he has made a few adjustments in the way he thinks about some of the so-called core issues. Consistency is less important than thought process. (Consistency means being just as ignorant as you were last year). I think Mitt has the credentials to do the job, and dammit he looks and sounds like a President. Rudy Giuliani could get my vote too. I think he has the most experience of anyone running. McCain has too much baggage; he seems too old, and too compromised by his years as a Pol. (I did vote for him in the 2000 Primary, but back then, the competition was weaker).

As far as the debates are concerned, I am boycotting both of tonight's scheduled presentations, not that anyone will notice. My reasons for not watching are threefold: 1) I have already seen enough of the mainstream candidates. I know what they think about everything. 2) I decry the involuntary elimination of the Libertarian voices on both sides. Without the ideas expressed by these guys (Kucinich on the Dem side and Ron Paul on the GOP side) we get nothing interesting or new. For example, I want to hear Mitt and Rudy argue against Ron Paul's call to bring all our troops home from foreign bases. 3) One of my new years resolutions is to re-arrange my sock drawer. I think that will be more stimulating than listening to the mass-debators.

Iowa? So What?

You cannot turn on your TV or radio without hearing the blather about the Iowa caucuses. Who, other than Iowans, gives a crap about what they think?

How many delegates to the party conventions were gained by the winners? Hmmn.
I think this is another example of the media masturbating and making us watch.

Nothing has been decided. The finish line is quite a way down the road.

Why did Dodd and Biden quit? It is bothersome that these guys waited until the poll of a meaningless gathering of farmers (who were never going to vote for either one anyhow) to decide their viability.

Go ahead, call me a dumbass. But I don't get it.

The Truth about your phone

Ok now I'm really becoming disillusioned. Like most everyone, I have spent the past 60 odd years since I learned to read, believing that Alexander Graham Bell was the inventer of the telephone. There must be a dozen biographies and virtually every schoolboy history book that relate the story of how he called Mr Watson to come and help him using his new invention.

Now it seems this historical fact Americana must be tossed into the dumpster labeled FRAUDs. The latest story is that he copied someone else's design. See the story.

Bell is credited with saying " Before anything else, preparation is the key to success. " Who knew that what he really meant was "Steal the other guy's idea and beat him to the patent office and you will be rich!"

This is sad, because it reminds us that it is almost impossible for us to know the truth about anything. Those who feel secure that they know what happened in the past are kidding themselves.

The recent assassination of Mrs Bhutto is a case in point. Thousands of people were there. Camera's were rolling. Bang bang booom! Nearly a week later, we still do not know for sure whether she died of Bullets, bomb blast, head trauma from bumping into the moon-roof latch or heart attack.

Just as surely as there are doubts about whether we actually landed on the moon, or whether the government is hiding the truth about September 11th, and on and on; it seems we can never take any "fact" at face value.

Next thing we'll be hearing is that Al Gore didn't invent "Global Warming"

Daemon in The House

It is that dreaded time of year again. Each year ,when December comes around, we get a reminder from the Animal Hospital that it is once again time for Angryclaws to go and get her rabies shot. Each year we put off the inevitable as long as we can, but as the days get shorter and shorter we face up.

It usually takes two or three tries to capture and cage her for the journey to the Vet's. You would be surprised how difficult it is to restrain a small un-sedated Siamese cat. The Vet is very reluctant to give us sleepy pills for the cat – I don’t know why.

My wife suspects that they regard us as perhaps unworthy of cat ownership since we seem to have so much trouble managing such a simple task as bringing a small cat to get her annual shots. They do not believe my daemonic possession theory, but I am sticking to it.

Naturally, after the trauma of being caught and caged – which always involves a chase and entrapment by a big guy with oven mitts for hands - she is eventually caged, then the car ride to the vet’s office, then is placed on that cold stainless steel examination table, Angryclaws is paralyzed by fear and seems like the most docile compliant little darling the Vet has ever encountered. She even lets the vet trim her talon-like claws. Nice little kitty, they say.

Last year, we almost had to face a judge to answer for our bad-owner crimes. We do not want that to happen again. So, this year we have promised ourselves to get her to the Vets early so she can get the multi year shot. My wife thinks the cats are clairvoyant. On the morning of the appointment with the vet, they are nowhere to be seen. They will not come out for food or other enticement. There have been no clues – the cage has not been brought up from the basement yet.

“Maybe they can read the calendar,” I suggest.

“No, they are the devil, " she says, while swabbing hydrogen peroxide on the deep scratch she received from Angry-Claws during this morning's struggle. With her good hand, she dials the vet to tell them that we can’t make our appointment again this year.

We imagine the staff at the Animal Hospital shaking their collective heads. They judge us to be incompetent. Maybe the feline social service agency will come and take the cats away. Please God!

What's Next Dept.

News Item: “London. A lock of John Lennon's hair sold for $48,000 Wednesday in an auction of Beatles' memorabilia…”

Have I got a deal! 20 Locks of my hair for $19.99. Assorted fingernail clippings $4.99
And bodily fluids – Priceless! Please include the nonrefundable fee of only $9.99 for shipping and handling. Visa and MC accepted.

Granny Git Yur Gun

News Item: "Orlando, FL ...A 63-year-old grandmother was released from the Orange County jail Monday morning. Mary Ann Richardson of Pennsylvania was arrested for trying to take a loaded handgun into a Disney theme park."

Finally, the justification for checking old ladies' handbags. Guards everywhere must be feeling just a bit more self-righteous than usual today.

http://www.wftv.com/news/14808302/detail.html?iref=werecommend

Shooting Galleria

"(CNN) -- Colorado police were searching Sunday for a gunman who opened fire at a live-in training center for Christian missionaries, wounding four youths, a police spokeswoman said."

Here we go: Another crazed gunman in the news this morning. I guess if someone needs to go out and shoot someone, religious extremists in training would get my vote as the most logical targets. Ok. that was a joke. Please don't get me fired.

I was just thinking: With all of the recent public shooting incidents, even the most rabid Gun-rights-advocates must feel a smidgen of doubt as to whether it is a good thing to allow any crazoid with the price of a Saturday night special to exercise his unfettered "right to carry".

The lamest of arguments by pro-gunners in the most recent Midwest mall shooting was "If more people were armed, someone might have stopped the killer." This is a fictitious absurdity that defies every test of logic and human understanding. Name me one pistol-carrying citizen - other than Bruce Willis - who would engage in a gun battle with a lunatic wielding an AK-47 ?


Don't get me wrong; I am not anti-gun. On the contrary, I believe that sane adult citizens who are not convicted criminals ought to be able to have defensive weapons sufficient to protect their life and property. I do not think AK-47's and Bazooka's fit the definition of defensive weapons.

The chief problem for me is: how do you keep a defensive weapon accessible to the adult in charge in the event of a home invasion, but not in a place/condition where a young inquisitive kid or grand kid might be able to pull the trigger? Weapons are perfectly safe especially when unloaded and stored in a locked cabinet.

There are many areas of the US where hunting for wild game is part of the local culture. I do not see why this needs to change. But, does any thoughtful person think that the second amendment was worded the way it was because the Founding Fathers wanted to ensure that every citizen would always have the right to keep and bear weapons of mass destruction?

When asked about his weapon ownership at the last debate, Fred Thompson refused to disclose the types or locations of weapons he owned this got a cheer from the NRA die-hards. This was a manifestation of another pretzel-logic interpretation of the intent of the founding fathers -- that they wanted citizens to be privately armed (i.e., as a militia) a safeguard against totalitarian government.

The idea of armed revolt borders on silly when you think of trying to mount a take-over in a modern country like the USA. The government already violates every one of your god-given rights every day. They would come and crush your little revolt before coffee break time. I dare you to do something about it!

Meanwhile, I am staying on the couch watching football all day today. It is not safe to go outside.

Stolen

If New England goes on to enjoy an "undefeated" record this season, there should always be an asterisk to footnote the game against the Baltimore Ravens which the Patriots lost last night, despite the final score.

The game should have been over with the Ravens up by three points on a failed 4th down N.E. play in the final minute of the game. Then, to the shock and amazement of everyone, the play was called back because of a bonehead coach who had called for a time-out just as the ball was about to be snapped. Retainig possession, the patriots scored a few plays later.

If that wasn't enough, one of the Baltimore players incurred two 15 yard bad sportsmanship penalties for an untimely meltdown. That cost the Ravens a chance to return a kickoff. We'll never know if that made a difference but their special teams had been having some pretty good runbacks all night.

And still, the game ended with time running out on a hail mary pass that was caught on the two yard line. Two more yards and maybe 5 seconds would have made a big difference. Baltimore played an excellent game and everyone who watched the game knows that they wuz robbed.

Raking Leaves

Sunday. There was no Patriots game on TV today so I decided to work in the yard. I just came in from raking three tons of leaves that were blown into my front yard by yesterday’s wind. I don’t have any deciduous trees on my property – someone tell me why I have to rake all these leaves. (Sometimes I feel like going around the neighborhood and asking the neighbors to come and get their leaves. )

But, I guess sharing dog and tree droppings with your neighbors is just a few examples of the price one pays to live in the “leafy suburbs” - as the newspapers like to call the towns outside of the commuter parking lot (Route 128) that encircles Boston to the west.

The forecast for tonight is snow. It feels like it. The air is cold, still, full of moisture.

I am flushed from the invigoration of 3 hours of exercise. (No, dear, it’s not from the frosty Sierra Nevada that I am enjoying as I recount my afternoon's labors.)

I have always enjoyed raking leaves. It is one of those tasks that you can do and then point to the results. Look everyone, I made a difference. See how nice my lawn looks. Look at that pile of leaves!

Most of my working life was spent in the corporate arena. I was usually involved with info systems development projects in some sort of coordinating role. The fun parts where I was actually doing data analysis or defining systems requirements were considerably offset by hours of tedious, ego centric staff meetings or pressure-cooker emergencies created by some clueless, but powerful executive.

Sitting in stalled expressway traffic on the way home after a day of meetings and unnecessary stress, a voice would ask, “What have I accomplished?” Usually, the answer was something like “Well, I earned a day’s pay and I didn’t get fired.” Then I would come home and have a few scotches to help erase the indignity of working in a bureaucracy[1].

Given the sedentary and cyclical nature of my professional life, I always got a great deal of satisfaction from active tasks that gave a measurable result: Painting a wall, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, writing my blog – all these efforts produced a visible result. [2]

The other thing I just noticed about my list: I am my own boss.

-- er, what's that dear? Yes I'm almost done. No, this is only my first beer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[1] Since I have been “on sabbatical” I have reduced my alcohol consumption by 800%.

[2] Perhaps I would have been happier in my work life if I had been a builder….…of bridges.

Beerflation

The stock market is starting to give me agita lately - with daily fluctuations of hundreds of points up and down. When you are on a fixed income and contemplating the ratio between estimated remaining years of life and Asset value, the only way you can achieve serenity is the perceived assurance that things – money markets, real estate prices, costs – will be somewhat predictable. We already know that in 20 years it will take $200 dollars to buy the same stuff that you can get for $100 today. And that is adjusting for predictable levels of inflation. So, in this context, even a million dollar “nest egg” does not look too large. Years ago, a million was considered a fortune. Today, it is barely enough to get by.

I am already older than I ever planned to be. I have never had a“retirement plan” in terms of dream home or fabulous trips, or a life of affluent indolence. The truth is that I am in constant flux between wanting to go back to work to grub a few more bucks OR enjoying my few remaining years in a two-star pasture. We can’t afford to buy a villa in France, but we could swing a half acre in South Carolina or some rural venue. But, what’s the point of moving away from family and friends just to save a few bucks? Why does everything in life have to be a trade-off between need and want. Sometimes it’s very hard to distinguish between the two.

I try not to worry about it – worry makes you die younger. (On the other hand, dying younger eliminates the problem of outliving the money. )

Ech. I need to think about something else….

Ah, here we have some recent news on the health scene:
Like the stock market, recent reports from scientific studies about obesity are full of contrary news. At the same time that “researchers” are wringing their hands about the fears that we are raising a generation of fat kids, we are getting new reports that being chubby is good.

Now, I have never been in favor of going to a gym to use one of those workout machines. The idea of doing exercise for the sheer purpose of burning calories has always seemed fruitless to me. When I see phalanxes of people in sweaty togs working-out in a gym they evoke images of gerbils running on a treadmill, huffing and puffing, going nowhere. And, aerobics is just as stupid. (If you feel like dancing, why not go to a club where they sell beer?)

Now, purposeful exercise is good; If I am going to get sweaty, I want there to be a visible result – the lawn is mown, the driveway is shoveled, a stack of wood is cut. If I am walking, I want to get somewhere – to the top of a mountain, or maybe to the convenience store where I buy lottery tickets.

As a result of this kind of thought process, being “in shape” has always been a few bus stops down the road from where I am standing at any given moment.

But recent medical news would lead me to believe that my doctors have been wrong! I should be drinking more wine and beer, avoiding diets and encouraging my spouse to have a big ass.

Researchers have recently reported that overweight people have a lower death rate because they are much less likely to die from Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, infections and lung disease.

So what’s a food-loving chubster supposed to do with all this information? My approach is simple: Search the web for evidence that supports the position you want to believe in.

Just as the case with politics, you can find some fringe web site that can “quoted” and presented as faux evidence of virtually any position you choose.

In the 1973 Movie “Sleeper,” Woody Allen depicted a future world where chocolate was deemed to be good for you. How prescient.

And maybe drinking beer will someday be shown to cure cancer and improve one’s investment portfolio. It could happen. Stay tuned.

Where's the Boef, Ben?

Gisele Bundchen a Brazilian model (and Tom Brady's current girlfriend) is getting a lot of free publicity these days because she "prefers to be paid in Euro's." This is a story that tickles our fancy. It was first noted in a WSJ editorial claiming, "The Brazilian supermodel is reportedly now insisting that she be paid in a currency other than the U.S. dollar." So, which is it? Does she simply prefer Euros to dollars? (This would put her in the same league as non Brazilian, non-supermodel Warren Buffet.)



It seems that the WSJ is guilty of either a) Bad reporting or B) "Hey, it's a slow news week! We're just whipping-up some good old fashioned Nationalistic spirit. Gisele makes a good target - she is Brazilian, Rich, and Nubile. Most of us are none of the above - let's gang up and hate her. "

I'm thinking of writing a letter to the Social Security Administration to inform them that "henceforth, it would be preferable" if my monthly check would be paid in Euro's instead of those near-worthless U.S. Dollars. The Canadian Loony is worth as much as a USD these days, for freaks sake!

This never happened when there was a democratic president in office.

The Ultimate Blog

Today in the paper there is an obituary for 89 year old Robert Sheilds who spent 4 hrs a day writing in a diary about the last 20 hrs. Pretty interesting life, you assume, but how interesting can it be when you waste 4 precious hours detailing bodily functions and mundane events?
The piece says his diary contains more than 37 million words, which may be a record-setter for pure verbosity. Not only that, he compiled a chronofile scrapbook where he pasted letters, copies of bills and even a clipping of his nose hairs.
The Obit says that "he had three dozen ways, none obscene, to describe his urinations, all recorded." I cannot come up with more than a few ways to describe urination and most of them are obscene.



Whatever complaints you may have with my journal, you may be thankful that I have not pasted any nosehairs. (Oops nature is calling - excuse me while I take a number 7)


While on that subject, I wonder if there been any scientific inquiry into one aspect of aging, where the hair on your head starts growing thinner, but you start sprouting hair from your ears? What gives with that? Note to self: New product Idea: lazer ear hair remover. Great chiristmas gift for the geezer on your list!

Bobby Who?

It is one of those times when I play my collection of CD's instead of listening to live radio or TV. For some reason, the media programming geniuses have decided that everyone in New England is giddy with the World Series win over the Rockies in a 4 game sweep. Those who see themselves as part of "Red Sox Nation" yell "We won!"

We Did? I don't know who the We is, since I did nothing more than drink beer and sit on my lard ass on the sofa , doing my bills, organizing my socks and playing video poker during the volumes of repeated commercials. Occasionally, I would look up during those rare moments of drama when somebody actually hit a ball far enough that they could run to a base.

Ok I'm exaggerating. I did watch the most of the games, because I generally enjoy a good athletic contest, and the playoffs are the only time when the players seem to really care about the outcome. Although most of the drama and hype is concocted by media whores whose lively hood relies on an aroused audience.

I must be getting old and cranky, but when I saw the tub of Champagne that the winners were going to squirt at each other, I thought: What a collossal waste of fermented grapes. I just hope it was cheap crap. I'd hate to think that premium sparkling wine was being wasted for the entertainment of the viewing public. I shut the TV off just as the last out was called. I don't need to watch a bunch of overpaid jocks acting like schoolyard kids. They won; since I personally had little to celebrate about, and had already consumed my allowed quota of bubbly - 2 Bud Lites - I went to bed.

Now, I am waiting patiently for the Media-generated hooh-hah to settle down. Everywhere I go, people are remarking about the series. "How about dem sox!" they say (guy at the donut shop). "Are you going to the parade?" (clerk at the convenience store where I buy my scratch tickets) "We clean Red Sox jacket 20% off. You bring today." (Chinese lady at the laundry. I didn't bother to assure her that I have no Logoed clothing whatsoever.) "Did you see that kid hit that home run? First Pitch. Out of the Park. You want the Tingling or Warming?" (Guy at the drug store, referring to the eighth inning, game winning Home run hit by Bobby Kielty, and also to my price inquiry on a tube of KY Jelly.) "Yeh, I had tickets to game 6. Ok, hold still a second. Hmmn. Does it hurt when I do this? Yeh, right behind home plate. Ok we're done." (My proctologist.)

Apparently, these people thinking that everyone gives a sweet crap that the Red Sox won the world series. I say BFD. It's nice for them - the baseball employees - because they earn more money; but how do the fair weather fans benefit?

I guess they think just because I look like a retired guy, I probably have nothing better to do than talk about baseball games. I feel like a growling old dog in a pen full of spunky puppies. I've already expressed my feelings towards the bunch of guys who work at Fenway Park Who is this kid Bobby Kielty anyhow?

Fan Fatigue

I am tres fatigue this morning. I started falling asleep on the sofa around midnight watching the red Sox pummel the Rockies 13-1 in the 8th inning. I figured the lead was enough to win, so I finally went up to bed.

I hate to be a crank, but it is fairly evident that sitting by yourself on the sofa watching an entire baseball game on TV is just a colossal waste of time. If you are with a crowd at a sports bar or actually at the baseball park, you have some distractions from the zillions of TV commercials and fast-cut filler video clips that they show between pitches.

It’s almost like being on the internet for cripes sake – Not Free! You are paying for the content that you want by letting them bombard you with popup ads, crawling messages, cute and clever sound effects, teasing taglines and unwanted eye trash[1].

If you sorted out all the hype and promo, you would get maybe 90 minutes of Game - Instead of 4 and a half hours of Lame. How can they expect fans who have to go to school/work the next morning to be able to stay up to watch a game that doesn’t end until 1AM or later?

Die-hard followers of baseball call me a “Fair weather fan.” This does not bother me. It is a fact that I have not watched a complete baseball game during the regular season. I have proudly not paid for a ticket to a professional sporting event since the baseball strike of 1981. [2]

I don’t see how you can be a devoted fan of a team when they trade away your favorite players every year? If you were a fan of the rock band, Boston, during the 80’s you might be more than aggravated if they had traded the smooth harmonic vocals of Brad Delph for Aerosmith’s screamer - Steve Tyler.

Music fans expect the same guys to show up at every appearance. Sports teams should do likewise. The Red Sox have let some of their greatest players like Roger Clemens, Nomar, Pedro, (to name just a few) slide through their contractural fingers - and then come back to beat us – I mean them.

> ===========================================<

[1] I wonder what will happen to the economy when the advertisers and sponsors finally realize that we have developed countermeasures to totally ignore their messages.

[2] That’s when I realized that these guys see themselves as “workers” not “players” or even “entertainers.” Why should I pay money to watch someone work? Watching college or even High School teams is actually more exciting because the players are not in it for the money.

Flatland Thoughts

We are back from the mountains. The “high” you get from being in altitude is more than thin-air lightheadedness. More likely, the fresh air lends some clarity to the thinking. Maybe it is rooted the difference in air pressure or even gravity. Something physical happens when you are in high country that releases some pleasant substance that seems to lubricate one’s brain and mood.

Almost very problem seems petty when you are in the mountains. You cannot be in the presence of those rugged peaks and canyons and valleys without being aware of perspectives – of space and time. Your perceived problems are revealed as the insignificant moment of bother that they are. I have never met anyone out West who displayed symptoms of depression.

You feel like the message from the mountains is: “Life is short; get on with it. “

=============================================================
I am almost feeling too mellow to write an angry letter to the Hampton Inn management to complain about our “lost” room. When we arrived in Louisville, Colorado (in the valley 15 miles east of the front range of the Rockies, near Boulder) on Friday night, we had a hotel booking confirmation # in hand. The desk clerk at the Hampton Inn informed us that we were not in his computer and there was “no room at the Inn.”

It was “family Weekend” for University of Colorado at Boulder so we had to scramble around to find another hotel with a vacant room. It was a one star place called Comfort Inn. They were friendly and helpful, and they gave us the AAA 5% discount. The fan in the room was loud, the walls were thin (reminiscent of a Paul Simon song called “Lincoln Duncan” - if you know what I mean.) There was a lot of low-budget partying going on in the halls and adjacent rooms. The smallish bed was uncomfortable.

So I got on Priceline the next morning and looked for available rooms in the area.
Guess who had rooms. Yep, the Hampton Inn. So I booked Sat and Sun nights
At the Priceline special rate. Which was cheaper than our original booked rate.

So, I figure the Hampton Inn owes us at least one peaceful night’s rest. Yet for some reason, I cannot summon my usual level of outrage to compose a nasty complaint letter that would result in heartfelt apologies and a generous voucher to compensate us for our troubles – and disappointment.

A few more days in the flatlands, and I'll be my old self again. Not to worry.

Temperate Thoughts

We are headed to Boulder for a weekend visit with the in-law cousins to celebrate a 60th birthday. Ah, to be 60 again…with a lifetime of hopes and dreams ahead of you… It was snowing there yesterday…I hope global warming kicks-in before we arrive.

Due to the fact that no one has yet invented a working version of Transporter[1], we will be forced to travel by conventional means, which unfortunately means we will be again the voluntary prisoners of the Sadistic Airways. Thus, it seems time for another of my periodic anti-airline rants.

In the WSJ today, there is an article reporting that the European company Airbus has, after years of problems – cost overruns, etc , delivered the first A380 – billed as the world’s largest passenger jet. The customer is Singapore Airlines. Note to self: do not travel on Singapore Airlines for a few years.

I’m not predicting doom or anything, but one cannot be too careful when one considers that the A380 Project required cooperation between German and French engineers and the senior management of the company seemed more interested in backdating their stock options than meeting production schedules.

I have been on too many similar projects during my working days. I often say that I miss the money, the actual work and other social aspects of a job, but I am daily reminded that it is truly a blessing to be free from the politics of employment: No status reports, no self-absorbed egomaniacs[2], no meetings, no performance reviews.

Another article in the paper observed that as they rise in the corporate hierarchy, executives lose touch with the reality of their operations. They never get to talk candidly with anyone, because no one dares to be the messenger who tells the Emperor that his ideas and plans are crap.

Speaking of global warming, guess who got the Nobel Peace Prize for being a monomaniac with a mission? I am still not sure how Al Gore’s PowerPoint presentation has advanced world peace, but then I did not understand some of the previous award winners, either. Just a few examples: Yasser Arafat, whose minions regularly carried out terrorist bombings of Israeli civilians. Then there was the corrupt UN Secretary General, Kofi Annan, who presided over (and reportedly skimmed millions from) the now embarrassing Iraq oil-for-food program. If these recipients had not already made a mockery out of the award, I might feel more perplexed.

There was another story in WSJ about how climate changes in Western Canada are encouraging a nascent wine industry. It seems that the farmers there have observed that the local temperature has indeed registered a few degrees warmer over the past decade or so. This means a later killing frost date, which has enabled some of the less risk averse to plant more tender European grape vines.
After a few more years of warming, assuming the arctic melt doesn’t make the Pacific ocean rise and flood the West coast, Sonoma wine country will just become an extension of Death Valley. We will all be living in Iceland and getting our Chardonnay from Calgary Vineyards. Time to invest in future beachfront property?



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[1] I don’t know much about quantum physics or electronics, you would think we could figure out how to cut-and-paste a steaming hot Pizza from Papa Gino’s to your house - at the very least. Cripes! How hard can it be?



[2] Well...except for the resident Blogster.

Ten Four

On a two-way radio 10-4 means "OK I heard and understand your message." So I have always thought of October Fourth as my personal day to celebrate communication.

Without the 10-4 there is only a one way channel of information. Someone speaks or writes. Yet, without the verification that someone has listened or read the message there is no way of knowing whether communication has occurred.

There is an ad currently running for one of the major cell phone companies that highlights this issue in a humorous way. In the ads, the call is "dropped" just at the critical point in the conversation, when silence would be disastrous. The caller, hearing nothing, thinks that the respondent is speechless, and therefore assumes totally the wrong meaning.

In the classic Paul Newman movie, Cool Hand Luke, when Strother Martin speaks the line "What we have here is a failure to communicate" (just after he has brutally whacked Luke with his riding crop), he is talking about Luke's listening skills, not about his ability to send a clear message.

This is why it is so frustrating to watch politicians being interviewed or participating in those awful debate spectacles. The moderator asks a tough question and the respondent says whatever is on their mind, as if we wouldn't notice that they failed to answer the question. If the question was stupid, the respondent should say "That is a dumb question, I will not dignify it with an answer."

At my age, having a great conversation is near the top of the list when it comes to satisfying experiences. It is all too rare to find people who speak your language, have something interesting to say, are interested in listening to your perspectives, and who share a sense of humor.

=======================
There are rare moments in life that we have a special sense of time and place that stick in our minds.
On October 4 1957, when Sputnik was launched, I was 15 years old. I can recall being with my brother and our buddies having cokes and fries at Doran's - our long since disappeared hangout.
One of the guys came in with a newspaper and we all read about the satellite that had been put into space by the Reds. Satellite? Orbit? We were mostly interested in cars and girls and baseball. But, we knew instantly that something in our lives would be changed from that day foreword.
None of us thought we would still be alive 50 years later.

"Don't Tase me, bro,"

One of the pop topics of the day is about this loudmouth kid who got what he deserved (50,000 volts) at a Univ of Florida forum where he seriously violated the rights of others in the audience.

Strange as it seems, a group of students actually showed up to hear what Sen John Kerry had to say. They had the right to be able to hear the speaker, and to hear an orderly set of questions (even though the answers would probably be vague and confusing). As a resident of Mass, I am annoyed that the Senator was not at the work that he gets paid to do - but that is another issue.

I hear some morons talk about the rights of free speech, as if that mean't that we all have the right to say anything - anytime we choose. No one has the "right" to inflict their opinions on an unwilling audience. The right of free speech protects the writer or speaker from being put in jail for expressing unpopular ideas - so long as those ideas are expressed in a way that does not infringe on the rights of others to peace, privacy and freedom from assault.

You cannot freely express your ideas by spraypainting them on walls of public buildings, or by driving through the streets with a loudspeaker truck. I would extend this prohibition to anyone who disturbs the peace of a public gathering by hectoring a speaker.

Bogarting the mike in a public forum, using profanity and generally disturbing the peace is not protected behavior and should be met with rapid, painful and yes - even shocking attenuation.

Let the word go forth to those who think their issue is more important than your issue - "You will get tasered, bro!"

Honk

Another reason to quit working

Americans lose five days a year, just sitting in traffic!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20829879/

Ch-Ch-CHanges in the Air

I was out early today, trying to get my so-called daily walk in before my 11-month-old grand daughter arrives. The air was crisp and the sky was deep blue with that golden glint of morning sunshine that you only get in September. Autumn is my favorite season. It is the time of the Harvest - corn, squash, tomatoes, all those good New England produce items. Football is back. Fresh, tart, local, red Apples. It is the time for getting out of doors and opening the windows to let the fresh air inside. 

 Monday has been "my" day to watch Lila since she was 3 months old. If you know me, then you know that I am not the nurturing type, but my daughter needed to get back to work, and Lila was too young to be warehoused in a day-care-center all day. So the grandparents on both sides stepped-up to help. My wife watches her on Friday, I have Monday, the paternal grandparents have her Tuesday and Thursday. The parents have her overnight and on weekends, (when they are not gallivanting off to Europe for two weeks). In the early months, I would chafe at the feeling of trapped isolation when I realized that my world had contracted to revolve around the needs of a helpless infant who is totally dependent upon me - the caregiver. I imagine every young parent feels that same sense of being isolated when she/he is stuck watching a needy child when they would rather be out drinking beer with adults. 

Like I say, I am definitely not your average metrosexual guy who enjoys pushing a baby carriage around, or changing diapers. But little Lila has melted my "tough-guys-don't-dance" façade. She has been a delight from the get-go. She is very sociable - a natural smiler, who enjoys being talked-to, sung-to and played-with. Moreover, she is incredibly cute. I know you are thinking that I am biased, but how about this? When we take her out to a mall or supermarket, people always stop and remark what a cute baby she is. Do total strangers come-up and admire your grandchild? I think not. We have watched her grow from a tiny infant to an expert crawler and accomplished babbler in these eight months. Last week, she climbed the first step of the stairs, so I guess it is time to put-up the grandkid gates again. (The cats hate when we do that). 

For the past few weeks, on Wednesdays Lila has been going to the daycare facility with her three-year old brother. My daughter tells me that, shortly, there will be a space for her there on Mondays - and I will be offered the chance to get my Mondays back. I tell myself that I will eagerly take it when it comes, because 8 hours is too long for me to be on-duty as a child care provider. I am looking to find a nice part-time job, and I have other age-appropriate interests like fishing and golf. Today I had to turn down a lunch invitation with my buddies, because I am certainly not showing-up with a baby in tow. 

But, when she is in the day care place, there will be a real pang of loss for me, because part of me looks forward to my Lila day. Invariably she gives me a big smile, like she is glad to see me. I don't think I will get that from a fish or a boss. I'm glad i took my friend's suggestion. I feel that I will always have it to look back on and will undoubtedly think: This has been an experience that I am glad that I did not miss.

Happy Rosh Hashanah!

Let's face it, today is as much of a holy day as christmas to us heathens, eh?

I have just borrowed Hitchins' new book "god is not Great" from the public library, but have not started it yet. Probably much like Dawkins' "The god Delusion" which I read last year. Religion is the cause of all evil in the world. Seems like evangelistic atheists are coming out of the woodwork. Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Well, we are back from France, and I must say, it was a fabulous experience. My only regret is that we did not do it 30 years ago when we would have had more energy to walkabout and the capacity to stay up late and enjoy the nightlife. Also, the exchange rate was more favorable 30 years ago. Today $100 USD buys about 67 Euro's (with exchange fee factored in), and a cappuccino in Paris costs 4 E.

We had 5 days "on our own” in Paris and 4 days touring the countryside. The weather was boringly mild and mostly sunny. We were fortunate not to have experienced any lost luggage or travel mishaps beyond the expected delays and attendant annoyances.

Our command of the French language was so inept as to be distressing. (Yet another reason we wished we had been there 30 years ago when our college conversational French was good enough to read Le Monde). Yet, the French reputation for being rude to tourists seems over exaggerated. We generally found them to be helpful and earnestly appreciative of our feeble attempts to communicate with them. Ordering in restaurants was particularly challenging, although we did find a few that had English versions of the menu. We became more vigilant after discovering that Tartare does not mean Grilled.

We usually ate informally in Brasseries or Creperies, where you could manage to have a meal in less than 3 hours. The food was amazing. Fresh, tasty delicious. Salads were crisp, the bread was wonderful. At most eating places, the "service charge" is included in the price and tips are not expected as they are in US. I usually tipped a few Euros based on friendliness and effort, and a few times the wait person personally expressed surprise and pleasure and even shook my hand. Ugly American? I think not.

Nowhere are Americans more appreciated than in the Normandy area. We visited the D-Day memorial sites, the beaches where more than 6,000 US troops were killed in just a few hours, the cemetery, the Peace Museum. Normandy is famous for their Camembert Cheese, but we also learned about the events of WW2. My knowledge of history has always been a "C" at best (according to the Western Civilization professors' grades on my blue book exams), so I had forgotten how rapidly the French were defeated by Hitler's armies. After a few days of fighting and staggering losses, the French army simply gave-up. The country was subsequently (for about 5 years) occupied by the Germans. Thus, most of the damage to French towns was caused by Allied bombs during the liberation.

The route of our travels took us through Brittainy south to the Loire Valley. Wine Country. Mmm. Lunch would usually include a glass of rose or white vin de pays, which cost about the same as a coke (2.5E). We stopped at dozens of churches and chateaus - each with its own history and story of monarchs, political intrigues and (of course) wars. We saw the place where Leonardo Da Vinci spent the last three years of his life.

The jet lag has not entirely dissipated, but I am now back in the humdrum rat-race of a retiree: Awakened by the sounds of a spouse readying herself for work, I descend to the quietude of the kitchen to read the papers and drink a hot cup of Starbuck's Verona blend (Did I mention that you cannot get a good cup of brewed coffee in France?). I enjoy a renewed appreciation for American plumbing and fixtures; then, I take my coffee and papers to sit on the screen porch to consider how the day will unfold. Shall I read the new Hitchens book? Shall I call someone to arrange lunch? Is it too cold to go fishing? Hmm, the lawn needs mowing. And the temperature really is cool enough to paint that fading North side. Judy has a "honey-do" list as long as a freshly baked baguette (mmm). The thought of doing physical work creates dissonance with my mood of lassitude, so I go inside and close the slider. I decide to update the blog.

View from the Tower

Paris Sept 2007 as seen from the second level of the tower looking Norhwest. The sun came out just after I snapped this photo.

Au Revior

Nous allons en Paris le mardi prochain - for those who forgot their High school French or who wisely opted to learn Spanish instead, it means: “We leave for Paris next Tuesday.

I am excited about being in Paris for the first time in my life. I’m NOT looking forward to the airport scene and long flight on British Airways. In an article in yesterday’s WSJ I read that they (BOA) lost 550,000 pieces of luggage between Jan 1 and June 30. That's 35 out of 1,000, which is worse than the worst American carrier (Northwest).

Travel has become an impossible test of patience and sanity. I think most people who travel regularly need also to drink heavily and take prescription grade drugs to maintain their serenity in the face of the obstacles and foul-ups that have become familiar fodder for comics and blog ranters – Delays, long slow moving lines, security checkpoint inconveniences, cancellations, uncomfortable seats, homely cabin attendants, crappy food, movies that suck, annoying children, smelly fellow travelers, terrorist suicide bombers, and the like.

We keep telling ourselves that the destination is worth the price of getting there. I wonder…

Sometimes it seems everyone else* (tout le monde) has already been to Paris, France. If I mention my upcoming trip to anyone – waitress, doctor, homeless guy asking me for a quarter – they all tell me that I’m gonna love it. They give me their list of the places we should not miss. They review the old memories of their trip(s). I think I see a glint of envy in their eyes, considering the fact that I (a 65 year old virgin when it comes to the romance of foreign travel) am about to experience The City of Light for the very first time.

We will spend 4 days in Paris before joining our tour, which will travel Northwest to Rouen, Caen, Normandy. Then South to Mont St Michel through Brittany, southeast to Angers, Saumer and Blois which will be our base for excursions in Loire Valley and Chateaux Country. Then North to Chartes and back to Paris. Not counting Air travel days, we will spend 9 days seeing the various sights. I think that will be sufficient.

We will not take cellphones, laptop, ipod or anything else that would invite us to connect with the vast electronic communications network. We are on vacation from all of that, so you will have to get your blogfix somewhere else for the next few weeks.

Au Revior.

----------------------

* Except The Millers, who never go anywhere.

Luck vs Talent

The Accenture ad that ran in a recent issue of WSJ is a great example of marketer bullshit that actually has a grain of truth. There is a full color picture of Tiger Woods after just whacking a stupendous drive down the fairway. The copy says "We know what makes a Tiger. What separates high performers from lesser competitors isn’t just talent. It’s the way they fuse their capability and mindset." The implication is that Tiger-like success is comprised of "50% aptitude and 50% Attitude." One might might quibble with the proportions, but the significant thing here is the acknowledgement that success in Golf (and by implication all success) is a combination of stuff you were lucky enough to be born with (talent or aptitude) and the volition to apply effort in pursuit of a goal (attitude).

When we make a decision to do something, we are committing to an outcome. But it seems to me that the proclivity to make a decision that requires action on our part is native, rather than learned. We develop personalities and attributes that make us more or less unique, but we do not choose these characteristics. Rather, they happen to us.

Am I saying that everything is 100% Luck? Since I believe that aptitude is luck and attitude is luck, I guess I am saying exactly that!

This leads me to the recognition that successful people in this world should be thankful for their incredible luck. The majority of souls who have trod the dusty path of life were born into mean circumstances which virtually doomed them from their first breath.

I think the fundamental difference between Liberals and Conservatives lies in the perception of entitlement. Most conservatives consider themselves to have strong sense of morality and a high respect for fundamental values. They believe themselves to be successful, and ascribe their good fortune to a loyal adherence to "core" values. They seem to believe believe that life is like a game of Monopoly. Everyone gets the same bankroll at the start of the game. If you lose yours, that's too bad, you are out of the game. Hard cheese, old boy. Unfortunate rolls of the dice and all that. You should have bought Park Place when you landed on it.

The few lucky ones who constantly win the game - who achieve a high degree of wealth or status may acknowledge that they are lucky, but many of them seem to feel entitled to good luck, because they earned their positions through hard work, talent and perseverance. They give lip service sympathy to those that are less fortunate, perhaps they contribute to charity, but fundamentally they do not feel guilty about their luck.

Liberals, on the other hand, often seem to feel that they are not worthy of the lucky breaks that they have had. They are more likely to believe that extraordinary abilities and brainpower are mere lucky gifts, not entitlements. They feel that same attitude about people who were born to unlucky circumstances. There but for the grace of god (ie, luck) go I. Liberals really believe that life is a crapgame.
They tend to be kinder to the losers.

Now, that Tiger Woods is one lucky sumbitch. I don’t play golf, nor do I watch it on TV, but I’m sure he is really good at it. I do know that I’ve seen naked pictures of his wife and he is one lucky sumbitch.

.............

Which may or may not lead us to the contemplation of how Luck and/or Talent explains the recent news that former Home Depot CEO Robert Nardelli is now the new Lee Iaccoca at Chrysler. (An honorable Japanese executive would have committed ritual seppuku if they were responsible for such a colossal failure, - wrecking Home Depot and making rival Lowes my personal number one hardware store. In China he would have been executed. But, Lucky Bob was born to run in America. He gets to keep his failure-reward money ($210 Million) and now has a chance to destroy yet another corporation!

I can see Ford and GM executives, gleeful at their incredible luck, slapping each other on the back and toasting Nardelli's appointment with expensive champagne - hoping that he will do the same thing for them that he did for Lowes.

Tips on Refreshing Summer Beverages

Iced Tea
One of the things I have never been happy with is home made iced tea. Other people seem to know how to make tasty refreshing tea, but when I make it, the results are always bitter and cloudy. I cannot buy unsweetened/un-lemoned ice tea mix at my grocery store. The powdered stuff they sell makes a beverage that tastes remotely like metallic tea.

So, I decided to Google the words "How to make Iced Tea." I got quite a few hits.

Believe it or not, there are a number of ways to make good old fashioned unsweetened iced tea. One of the things that most aficionados agree on is to warn us against making that Girl Scout favorite "Sun Tea." They say that you cannot find a better medium to grow bacteria than warm water and tea sitting out doors in the hot sun.

So to save you literally minutes of reading, I will let you in on the secret to making iced tea that has eluded me until the other day:
1) Make in small batches to be used today, or tomorrow at latest.
2) Boil 16 0z of cold water; turn off heat add 5 bags or equivalent loose tea.
3) Let steep exactly 5 minutes, pull tea bags (or strain leaves) and save in a cup for 2nd batch.
4) Pour tea into a pitcher that will hold at least a quart, add 8 to 12 oz cold (tap) water.

Letting the tea steep exactly 5 minutes avoids the bitterness of the tea I always made - thinking that the longer the teabags were in the better. That was dumb.
Also letting the tea cool to room temperature before refrigerating seems to avoid the cloudiness. Martha Stewart advises adding a little hot boiling water to clear up cloudy tea.

The key seems to be brewing the tea in small batches of 8-16 oz and then adding water to dilute, rather than brewing a quart of water with 5 or 6 teabags. I re-use the same teabags for a second batch, which I steep for 8 minutes and do not dilute.

5) Pour into an ice filled glass and add lemon juice.

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Beer
1.Go down to the local store that sells beer.
2.Get you some St. Pauli Girl lager.
3. Pour it into one of them iced glasses that you keep in the freezer door.
4. Go out back, sit in the shade and enjoy the wonderment of fermented malt.

(If you like it a wee bit hoppier and darker, substitute Sierra Nevada Pale Ale for St Pauli Girl.)


Ok I am not turning this into a household tips blog. Back to the search for meaning in work and post working life tomorrow.

Random Musings

The other night, Jay Leno joked that when doctors performed the recent colonoscopy on George Bush they found his head.

I cannot recall another sitting President being mocked so irreverently. Not since Bill Clinton's oval office oral follies. Other senior members of past and present governments (of both parties) have been comedy fodder for their antics, and have been mocked and derided as they have justly deserved.

What does it say about us as an electorate, that we cannot find men (or women) who bring a sense of dignity and who instill in us some semblence of collective pride for our leadership?

I have never been a Newt Gingrich fan, but recently he has been making a lot of sense, compared to the declared candidates. I admire him for commenting that he would not participate in a Utube debate hosted by lightweights like Anderson Cooper, raising hands to ridiculous questions about topics as weighty as whether they wear briefs or boxers.

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Today is the 1 year anniversary of my abstinence from alcohol. I can distinctly recall that last frosty beer - more accurately, a Bass ale - which I quaffed with friends at Cobblestone's tavern in Lowell. It was the Saturday schedule of the Lowell Folk Festival and, as always, it was a wicked hot day. We ventured to the tavern for food and drink, as I refuse to eat anything offered by any outdoor food vendors who do not have access to running water. (I always imagine botulism and coliform bacteria dripping from their unsanitary paws.)

The tavern was cool and dark. A welcome refuge from the dazzling sun and humidity of the air outside. Although I was feeling a bit lightheaded, I enjoyed a burger and two lovely beers.

Two days later, I was in a hospital room getting 2 units of blood. They called it a bleeding ulcer.
They made me promise to stop drinking alcohol and to stop taking Aleve. I promised to stop for 1 year. I have kept that promise.

Walking Around Thoughts

It is so easy to find excuses not to exercise that it is scary. My logical brain knows that the body needs daily exercise. I have read about several recent studies that link physical exercise with healthy minds in seniors. The studies say that it's not doing crossword puzzles and watching Jeopardy on TV that keeps people mentally sharp; it's physical activity. Yet, even though I believe these findings, my innate indolence is often overpowering.


We are planning a trip to France in September, and I need to get this aging corpus back in condition for lots of walking around. So, I have been making more of a concerted effort to get out on that "daily" walk -- instead of piddling around, reading the papers, weeding and watering the garden, checking our investments online (ie, anything that will keep me from getting out and sweating in the summer heat). For the past week I have been more disciplined, and have managed to walk everyday. I do what I call the "long walk" which is about 2 miles plus and takes between 40 and 50 minutes depending on factors such as people stopping me to ask directions and chatting with fellow health enthusiasts or dog-walkers who I might meet along the way.


I call the regular route "the long walk;" My wife calls it "The Bataan Death March, " on those occasions that I have inveigled her to join me - usually on a Saturday or Sunday. She is still working a 4 day week, which is effectively full-time. It is not practical for her to take a long walk every day. On weekends, she is more disposed to walk, but her aim is relaxation more than exercise. I confess that I am too usually impatient to wait for her to get ready and I am more predisposed to activity that involves sweat than she.


The amazing thing is when we travel she will be able to "keep up" with me, and moreover she will be out seeing the sights while I am napping at the hotel. She derives a mystical energy from travel, and draws magnetic stamina from the historical works of art and culture. These things make me tired.

We travel very well together - she decides what famous sights or museum we will visit; if I get bored or tired I just find a bench and entertain myself watching the other people.

So it happens that I usually take my walks solo. As I walk the familiar route, It is my job as a writer to notice things: I keep tabs on ongoing construction projects, whose lawn needs mowing, any attractive new females along the route, etc.


Some residents seem to be spending lavish sums on beautification - unnecessary and expensive ways to advertise one's wealth. Things like high end fences and stone walls. Or a detached garage made of granite blocks. Don't get me wrong, If I had a lot of wealth I - no doubt - would be as conspicuous as the next rich guy. I don't make judgements about how people spend their dough, as long as they earned it. I do make judgements about some of the things some people do to other people to earn money. (See previous recommendations to apply capital punishment to white collar crime.)


Modest personal circumstances allow me to empathise with folks who don't drive brand new cars, who cannot blithely start a renovation project, who worry about tax increases and inflation, whose only remote hope of experiencing a life of luxury is represented by a mega millions lottery ticket.



Invariably, one of the routine stops on my walks is the convenience store. I plunk down my dollar, and on the way back I enjoy the briefly held hope that I am carrying a winning ticket. I plan the Boston Whaler that I will buy and tie-up to my sumptious home with waterfront dock in Martha's Vineyard. I imagine myself dressed in a new golf outfit belonging to the local country club blasting bad shots into the woods and not giving a crap how much the balls cost. Hey for a buck, it's a cheap way of exploring an agreeable fantasy.

Not Safe to Turn on the TV Set

I am keeping the TV shut off for a few days. There are two things that I am trying to avoid looking at and hearing about these days. One is the enormous and confounding hype surrounding the New Harry Potter book and movie. The Second is the ghastly image of Tammy Fae Bakker in her final interview with Larry King.

In the first case, I am confounded because who - except for kids and a few adult fantasy geeks - gives a sweet crap? I have not read any Harry Potter books, and probably will not find a good reason to pick one up in the unforseeable future. I did see the first movie and parts of one of the others, mainly watching with my grandkids... Good kids' entertainment, but why does every talking head on TV and radio think the release of the last* book in the series is really important news for normal adults? I guess it's called marketing buzz - you get everyone talking about the latest hip thing and then people will turn into mindless zombie consumers and even stand in line for days to get it. Is this what the founding fathers were imagining when they created the Bill of Rights?

The second thing that I am trying to avoid is seeing pictures of the ghostly (and now, mercifully defunct) Tammy Fae of Jim and Tammy Fae fame. You remember them back in the 80's when they were notoriously successful Televangelists. Remember PTL? She was noted for her large French whore phony eyelashes, and pudgy cheeks. He was best remembered as the church secretary shtupper and embezzler of church funds to provide hush money. The Bakkers were brought down from their golden hippocritical thrones and made to wallow in shame when his crimes were revealed by the shtuppee, Jessica Hahn who went on to become a Playboy Playmate (and a regular guest on the Howard Stern Show). He did jail time. Tammy Fae divorced him but got custody of her fake Eyelashes.
So it was with horror that I was assailed with a brief clip of Larry King's interview with the wasted 60 pound husk of Tammy Fae, now 66 years old and dying of cancer. Someone allowed her to go before a camera with the heavy eyelashes and red makeup that made her look grotesque, to put it kindly. If you did not see it, count your self lucky; it would haunt your worst dreams. I condemn everyone involved with that program as sheer freak show purveyers. I think I can safely say that the founding fathers would have disapproved as well.

Take my advice and keep your TV off for a few more days.

===================
*After the return of Rocky, and Superman, how can we ever feel safe that a series will ever truly terminate?

A never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way.

Superman would be proud.

South Dakota carried out its first execution in 60 years yesterday. The confessed dirtbag probably could have avoided his just punishment if he had mounted any sort of appeal. Perhaps the only honorable act of his life was to ask the state to put him out of his misery.


Bleeding heart liberals (like my friend Rick) are so mistrusting of the American justice system that they would rather let 99 bad guys go free to re-offend rather than risk hanging one innocent man.

He comments that my plan to hang white collar criminals would result in "more innocent executions," without acknowledging that the plan would succeed in its chief objective: To deter megatheivery and corruption.


Rick and his ACL pals are not looking out for the interests of their fellow citizens. They consistently give the benefit of the doubt to the crook rather than the cops, citing that the perp came from a broken home, or dropped-out of high school, or was some other sort of societal victim. Racked with guilt over their own fortuitous affluence, they opine from the security of their toney crime free-communities, saying, "Give the crooks, (oops i mean alleged crooks) another chance."


But, ultra-lefties (like Rick) would afford the same hand wringing, hyper-sympathetic attitude towards the so-called best and brightest, who cynically use their positions of privilege and power to wet-hump the American public?


In the past decade We have had numerous examples of CEOs who flaunted laws and decency to feather their own nests. Corporate looter Ken Lay of Enron fame is probably the poster boy of mega-thievery, but there were many other cases: Polaroid, Worldcom, Tyco, Adelphia.

And, who can deny that the government is generously populated with career white collar criminals whose job is to look out for us, but who are willing to look the other way when their palms are greased. Look at all the politicians who had to resign because they got caught with a hand in the cookie jar: William Jefferson (the rep from New Orleans who kept bribe money in his freezer), and Randy Duke Cunningham (the California rep who took bribes) are just a couple of current cases were public trust has been abbrogated.

Are these not criminals all - who deserve to hang?



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Yesterday, The Boston Herald ran a story on a local judge that was so arrogant that he wrote letters to the paper's publisher, demanding a bribe of more than $3 million to make a libel case against the Herald go away. The paper gleefully printed photocopy excerpts of the judge's letters which were handwritten on court stationery.

The news story said that the ethics panel was "looking into the matter." How come the extortionist is not in jail? We dont need a trial here - the judge's handwriting convicts him!

My friend Clooney asserts that the second ammendment of the Constitution provides for relief when the government fails in its duties. Shouldn't some mob be formed to go down to the Judge's mansion and get some of the money back?

Then there is the "Pants Suit" story from a few weeks ago about Judge Pearson from Chicago, who sued a dry cleaner for $65 million over a lost pair of pants. This is a prime example which demonstrates the egregious misuse of the justice system by smart greedy sociopaths.

A case that deserves Capital Punishment? Who do we trust to decide?

Raising the Bar

I think China has raised the bar of justice a few notches with news of the latest execution of a former food and drug official who took bribes when he was supposed to be watchdogging.

Some people think the death penalty may be too harsh a punishment for bribery, but if you think about it unpunished corruption is the bane of civilization. In addition, several recent studies have defied popular thinking, confirming that the death penalty IS A DETERRENT. (I know, from personal experience, that I would have strangled more people to death if I did not fear capital punishment.)

Those anal retentive anti-junk science pundits who insist that the clinical studies were methodologically flawed need to wake up and smell the coffee. Some facts are simply true despite the lack of "scientific" evidence.

Look at all the people who believe in "Chi" - the life force that guides the feng shui school of thinking and is a fundamental element in the rationale for how acupuncture works.

Scientists cannot find a shred of evidence to validate the existence of Chi, yet zillions of people believe it to be a palpable physical force. So science is clearly nothing but a bunch of crap on a stick.

Besides, most of the arguments that you hear about the death penalty for the crime of murder are rebutted by the belief that murder is irrational and unmeditated; thus the perp is not thinking about punishment.

The fallacy of modern civilization is reserving capital punishment for violent offenses, and wrist slapping of crooks who merely steal millions of dollars from needy citizens. I propose that if we need anymore laws, it should be to cause more mega-thieves to be hung or shot. And those who abbrogate the public trust.

Yes, we need to "China-up" on some of our government and political crooks. I guarantee that Capital Punishment will be a deterrent to "white collar" crimes.

Anchor Shredding the Lead

Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks "the news" ought to be about important events and people.

Click Here

Why I stopped watching TV News

“You won’t believe what neighbors found when they looked in the windows of this house,” the teaser says and we see a “live” shot of a nice white house on a suburban lot. Stay tuned to Live on 5. (Cut to commercial)
[click to channel 7]

A sultry weather babe with bodacious ta-tas exclaims with a worried look “Tornadoes headed for your backyard?” Stay tuned for a full report.
[click]

And so it goes through the rest of the so-called news program. What is presented to us as a news weather and sports program has evolved into a mélange of infotainment snippets, which seem to be comprised of mostly teasers, urging us not to switch the channel: “Wait till you hear what this woman had to say after she was found working in a meatpacking plant in Chicago after being missing for twenty years…”

Getting their cues from supermarket tabloid headlines, the modern day news programmers have strayed pretty far from the traditional role of presenting news as ‘just the facts ma’m’. Now, the weather is news. The Red Sox is news. Gossip is news. Speculation is news. Paris Hilton is news..
[click][click][click][click]

Pundits assure us that everyone wants to know about Paris Hilton’s bowel movements in the county jail, and remember just a few weeks ago, the world watched with great anticipation to learn the identity of the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s money child.

I don’t think most of the people, who tuned in to the news because they are wondering ‘what’s going on in the world,’ care a fig about such gossipy items.

I could be wrong on that. A lot of young people I know will actually admit that they watch programs like American Idol and Survivor. I guess seeing what dolts other people are can be comforting to an ordinary person struggling with a lousy work situation and the extraordinary demands of raising a family.

I don’t watch much TV anymore. I wish I could say that I am doing something noble with my time like reading great works of literature, or working on my novel, or helping the needy. But, no. I just putter around the yard, cursing the rodents that gnaw on my marigolds trying to invent a device that will be as efficient as an outdoor cat at diminishing the exploding population of squirrels chipmunks and rabbits...

I had an Elmer Fudd moment the other evening. when I saw a small waskally wabbit nibbling at the yellow marigolds I had recently planted (to fill-in spots where other flowers had been eaten)... Enraged, I picked up a rock and threw it hard at the rabbit. Amazingly, the rock struck the unsuspecting rabbit on the head and it keeled over, like a dishrag. Feeling a mixture of guilt and satisfaction, I removed the carcass to the compost heap. (Before you gasp in horror, I must admit that the rock apparently just knocked the rabbit unconscious, because when I came back from the shed with a shovel to bury it, the bunny was gone.)

Good thing the neighbor kids weren’t outside. If they had seen me they would probably have called the Animal Planet cops to turn me in for animal cruelty.

I can see the 10 Oclock news tease: “ Is this man (Mug shot of me) going to be Paris Hilton’s new cellmate? Stay tuned to find out.”
[click]

How The Dems lost the Election Last Night

After watching the debate last night, I think I am voting for a Republican in the next election. When asked if they would support a measure to declare English the official language of the United States, only one candidate (the loony comic relief character from Alaska) raised his hand.

It suddenly struck me that there is not a credible Leader among them.

I am neither xenophobic nor nationalistic, but it seems to me that it just makes sense to carry on the business of the government in the national language of its citizens. I am firmly against giving welfare hand-outs to non-citizens. Instead of being an expression of mercy, free stuff is just an incentive for people to line-up here, rather than fixing the system in the country they escaped from.

English is the language of our constitution, our laws and our public discourse. How can anyone vote intelligently if they are not versed in the issues, the positions or the facts?

I have no real problem subsidizing the gas company’s costs to publish it’s safety warnings in multiple languages, but I do object to the practice of the government publishing applications for benefits, ballots, and voting instructions in 36 languages. Why do we want to encourage people who are too ignorant or lazy to learn English to participate in our elections?

The US does not want or need another president whose appeal is that he is “not as bad as the other guys.” We need a real Leader and common sense problem solver.

It is clear that the majority of the Democratic candidates think that the only way they can win is to appeal to the vast numbers of immigrants (and others who depend on the largess of the American welfare state.)

They are collectively soft on the issue of illegal immigration and not one of them convinced me that they had a plan that would work to secure our borders and to create a dis-incentive against future invasions. The simple solution is not to split up families, but to induce families to go back where they are citizens. Maybe they could work to improve their own countries?

The simple statement of policy I want to hear is: US Citizenship is only for babies of US citizens or those who go through the naturalization process. Voting should be for non-criminal Citizens who can demonstrate proficiency in English. Welfare is for citizens. Social Security is for people who contributed to the system.

I see that none of the Democratic candidates really has the will or desire to seriously deal with the illegal problem. None really wants to beef-up the border enforcement, force non citizens to register, fund the administration of enforcement and deportation of those aliens who commit additional crimes in the US.

Is there a non-English speaking country that prints their welfare literature in English for their American “guests”?