Remembering Woodstock 1969

Man, who could forget that moment in history, forty years ago, when we gathered, half a million strong, for those few days of Peace, Love and Music? OK, so maybe I was not there, but I heard about it on the radio. Hey, my wife and I had jobs in those days; responsibilities - rent, careers, and a baby on-the-way.

It was actually a memorable summer for us - but, not because of any music concert. In July we had taken a cruise to Bermuda as a sort of delayed honeymoon. We were young, clean cut, and had probably never heard of Jimmi Hendrix or Janis Joplin. We were still under the musical influence of Bobby Darren and The Kingston Trio. The gathering at Woodstock would never have appeared on our radar. We were trying to break-in, not drop-out. We did not even know anyone that did drugs or practiced free love.

One of my musical memories was driving through the Sumner Tunnel in Boston and hearing an unfamiliar but haunting song that was playing loudly on someones 8 track tape. (In those days there was no radio reception in the tunnels). The vocal harmony was magnetic and thrilling to me, but I did not recognize the artists. It was only when the Woodstock movie came out, I was able to identify the group and the song - "Judy Blue Eyes" by Crosby, Stills, Nash and (I think) Young. Ok, I know what you are thinking, I was out of touch. So sue me.

When the story came out about Woodstock - 3 days of sharing close proximity with masses of drugged out hippies who had not bathed recently, dancing in the mud and blocking your view of the stage, standing in line for the few porta-potties with 399,000 other bursting bladders, I was secretly glad that I was not there. I say 'secretly', because as I later discovered everyone thought you were cool if you could claim to have been there. Only a clueless dolt would admit that a) he didn't go and b) did not regret missing it.

Most of the performers at Woodstock are probably dead by now, if not forgotten. And, most of the attendees who survived drugs and STD's would be at the age where they are in or close to retirement. For me, it is hard to believe that forty years have passed like an express train in the night.

I reported myself to the White House

Since the pre-election campaign, anything Barak Obama does is the stuff of imagination and wing-nut controversy. The recent attempt by the Obama administration to survey the American Street - specifically aimed at identifying misinformation about healthcare - was posted on the White House website. You probably saw it.

This request for rumors, of course, was predictably condemned by right wing blogs/talk radio as a brownshirt conspiracy to get neighbors to turn-in neighbors who held the 'wrong' views.

To me it just seemed like an efficient way to collect a list of rumors so that they could be addressed. Anyhow, when someone asks my opinion... they get it.

----- Original Message -----
From: DEN
To: flag@whitehouse.gov
Sent: Thursday, August 06, 2009 08:45
Subject: rumors about healthcare


I am opposed to "improvement" in the healthcare system that will make it worse for those of us who have worked, contributed and retired assuming a certain level of access to healthcare. I believe that the other countries that have government-run healthcare systems, such as England and Canada have inferior programs to that which exists in the US for the majority of us in the middle class. Besides, these countries have a much tighter enforcement of immigration laws and they do not provide virtually free services for up to 20 million illegal immigrants - as we would.

I am absolutely opposed to lawmakers dictating a level of healthcare for me that they themselves do not participate in.
I believe no one should vote for a bill unless they have personally read it; I think this would slow down the spending of money that we do not have, and that would be a good thing.
I do not feel confident that the Obama healthcare plan is a real plan at all, and all we get are snippets of what might be in and what might be out, I feel uneasy about it.
I am an independent, voted for Obama, hoping for the best. I like the way he is handling foreign policy, but am fearful that the bailouts have been a huge waste of money. I am retired and have lost nearly 50% of my nestegg in recent downturn. I am still hopeful but getting more pessimistic with every news cycle.

Here are some of the scary stories that I have heard:

1) the Healthcare bill has provisions to attach citizens bank accounts and make withdrawals without notice
2) I will eventually be forced to change my healthcare plan to the government run plan, then I will be treated just like everyone who has never contributed to social security, or even paid taxes.
3) With 50 million people being added to the system, decisions about my health will be made on a purely economic basis. The government will decide who gets what services.
4) Young non-citizens will get preferred treatment over older citizens.
5) People who have retired under company pension plans will find that the plan that they expected to have will be involuntarily switched to the government(public) option at the discretion of the company.

I think the administration needs to address these and other concerns with honesty and concise language. President Obama has not proved to be a good spokesman for this program - he rambles all over the place when asked specific questions (It's probably just as well that the only thing anyone recalls from the failed healthcare press conference is the "Cambridge cops acted stupidly")

Yours truly,

=====================================

If I get in trouble, somebody please bail me out.

Why the Yankees Suck

I have never taken a course in Social Anthropology, but even an English Lit major can observe that most human behavior is instinctive. Discrimination is a natural (built-in) characteristic of our species - and indeed most mammals. We are, by nature, tribal.
We distrust strangers from other tribes. Xenophobia is a natural fear mechanism that has characterized social groups since the days of the cavemen. Granted, in more advanced (ie, educated) circles, we prefer to think we are civilized - i.e., as a society we teach our children to consciously suppress those inborn fears and tendencies in order to live peaceably with others.

I recall the lines from a 1960's Kingston Trio song titled The Merry Minuet

"The whole world is festering with unhappy souls.
The French hate the Germans. The Germans hate the Poles.
Italians hate Yugoslavs. South Africans hate the Dutch
and I don't like anybody very much!"


If you have ever played a team sport or rooted for a team, you have experienced the passion of "Us versus Them". We are bold, good-looking, talented and strong, whereas They are craven, weak and worthy of our scorn.

Rooting for athletic teams has been the international mechanism that allows the mass of non-playing people to give full vent to those primal urges of tribalism which we supress in our attempts to be "civilized." The term "Fan" is derivative of "Fanatic" implying the craziness that is implicit in such mindless loyalty to a bunch of sports workers who get paid to dress up in funny outfits and compete with each other for the entertainment of an audience. (Sometimes, in less civilized places, the audience joins in the fight).

Come to think of it, politics as a lot like professional sports - except for the funny outfits.

Beer Summit

Maybe someone thought it would be a nice photo op to have them sit all folksy at a white plastic table served beer by - a butler. If I were staging it, I would have had Biden lugging a small cooler of frosties on a golf cart.

But no. It was yet another lost opportunity either to have some fun, or to resolve the conflict. Almost like an Israeli - Palestinian peace talk, all the parties seemed to smile and nod their heads and then went back to business as usual.

I am ready to move on to some more meaty news topic, how about you?

Who are You Calling a Racist?

Race has become the big issue here in the MetroWest area with the Gates case getting so much play. Indeed it became a national issue when President Obama remarked on the case during his press conference. Today, everyone is breathlessly awaiting the outcome of the beer summit.

As an aging, technically overweight white guy, I have to say that I am getting weary of all the very successful thin black men continuing to blather about racial discrimination. It is unseemly. Some of them got their shot at success because a majority of white guys believe that justice demanded a level playing field. Affirmative action, EEO, and many other acronyms were devised to the end of giving a brother a chance. I never complained that my tax money was being used to give kids breakfast, or to support the METCO. Many people in our community hosted inner city kids and helped them financially and spiritually during their high school and college years.

So I am getting a little tired of being assumed to be a racist. It seems to me that there are a lot of successful black men and women out there. The majority of us voted for a black governor here in Massachusetts, and for a black president of the USA. Where is the racism in that? Yes, I know it is still out there. People still dislike Jews and Irish and Indians and Arabs... Prejudice exists in every culture. In the US, we have done just about everything governmentally that can be done to assure a level playing field. What is left to do now is for people to stop using discrimination as an excuse for not trying. No one liked Pakistanis or Koreans when they moved in, and because the stuck together and worked hard, many have done very well.

Folks, the fact is that in 2009, most of the white people I know do not judge others by the color of a person's skin; they judge them by the way they talk, the way they are dressed and the way they behave. These may be superficial characteristics, but this is reality. People of color are being judged today the same way we judge other white people.

Discrimination is real; but I do not believe it is based upon skin color these days for the majority of educated Americans. People like to quote MLK and focus on character. But, you can't judge character until you get to know someone. No one will bother to learn the content of another's character if they never get to meet them.

The point is that in the USA today, discrimination is a class thing, an education and an economic thing - as it always has been true for and among white folks. The real insidious aspect of perceived discrimination is when you believe that your failure is because of bias against you, there is a tendancy to use that as an excuse to give up. In my experience, talent trumps bias, nine out of ten times.
Time for a beer. Then a nap.

Don't Tase me Bro

Wow, talk about unintended consequences! A minor verbal scuffle between a white Cambridge police officer and a black Harvard University professor escalates to a national debate on racial attitudes. Even the White House got involved - much to Obama's chagrin.

In case you have been hiding in a cave for the past ten days (and who could blame you) the facts of the story might be summarized as follows:

1. Passerby witness observes two men who appear to be attempting to break into a house, calls 911. (The men are Professor Gates and his limo driver, both black, trying to unstick the front door of Gates' house.)
2. Officer Crowley arrives on scene, answering a suspected B&E call. Does not see suspects (now inside the house), calls for back-up and approaches the house.
3. There is an exchange of words between Officer Crowley and Prof Gates. The content of the discussion is a matter of disagreement. Prof. Gates claims that he never raised his voice and contended that Crowley was racially profiling him and refused to identify himself despite several requests, and that he was handcuffed and arrested without provocation. Crowley wrote in the police report that he did identify himself and that the Professor was acting in a belligerent manner, yelling and disturbing the peace. This account was substantiated by an assisting officer on the scene. At this point it is mainly a local story.
4. The next day, at the urging of Gates' attorney and the Mayor of Cambridge, the charges against Gates are dropped.
5. After a brief period of silence, Prof Gates goes on national TV to tell his side of the story. He calls Crowley a rogue cop and suggests that the officer should "beg his forgiveness."
6. At the end of a press conference intended to boost support for his Health care plan, Obama foolishly answers a question about the Gates affair. He says that he doesn't have all the facts, and that he might be "a little biased" because Gates is a personal friend, then he says that the "Cambridge Police acted stupidly."
7. The next day, the case is headline news (the Health care plan is all but dead - front page below the fold). NBC nightly news devotes 9 minutes to this lead story. The Cambridge Police Department holds its own press conference supporting Officer Crowley and his actions. The police chief expresses regret that the charges were dropped, because it lent credibility to the accusations of racial profiling.
8. The next day, the Policeman's Union voices full support for Crowley.
9. In subsequent days, it leaks out that there is a tape recording of part of the exchange between Crowley and Gates from the shoulder mike that the Office was using to report on the status of the situation. The tape has not been released, but is believed to exonerate Crowley.
10. Obama seeing the error of his involvement, calls Crowley to be sure that his remarks were not interpreted to imply that he was criticizing him or the department. He suggests that they get together with Gates for a beer to shoot the bull and show that there are no hard feelings. Crowley becomes local hero.
11. Jesse Jackson goes on TV to say that both parties may have over reacted. This is tantamount to throwing Gates "under the bus."
12. Prof Gates declares that the story is over, but asserts that there may be a teachable moment is the situation. He does not admit fault but agrees to meet with Obama and Crowley for a beer.
13. to be continued?

There are a number of reasons why this melodrama was so fascinating.

First of all, the incidence of racial profiling by police is not an anomaly for most blacks. Almost every black man in America has a personal story where they have been rousted and even roughed-up by a white cop without cause. Even Obama has mentioned this outrage in his autobiography. In the first few days after this incident, I along with most of the readers of the daily newspapers thought it was going to turn out to be another of these racial injustices - this time against a prominent scholar and esteemed member of the community, not some unknown teenager dressed like a gang member. Now, it looks like there was a little bit of "The prof who cried racist." Most white people don't think all white cops are racist, so we are glad to see that he is not another Mark Fuhrman (who was probably responsible for OJ getting off).

But most of all, the story is an illustration of how an event can be seen in different ways depending upon who is watching, and what their life experiences are. I think the Tie-breaker in this case was the photo of Prof Gates which was snapped by a neighbor who happened to have his camera/cell phone handy. The photo clearly shows a man yelling at cops. That image was worth 1,000 words. (BTW, The guy who took the photo sold it for $4,000). In most cases of He-said-he-said where there are no witnesses, we are forced to believe what our experience tells us is most likely true.

Finally, I can see that I never would have made a good policeman. If anyone got in my face while I was trying to do my job, I wouldn't care what color he was, I'd have Tased him.

Retirement - the final frontier

People who have been getting-up and going into an office or job site on a daily basis for thirty years or so, begin to develop fantasies about how it is going to be when they retire. They think that retirement is going to be like going to heaven without the inconvenience of dying.

We dream of Golfing or fishing every day, trips to the beach, see the latest movies, travel to foreign ports, road trips, more golf, more beer, naps ...

Actually, it's a fantasy. Achieving Nirvana is an elusive goal. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that technically I am free to go fishing or sleep all day - whatever I choose. But, like most aspects of life, there is a murkier side. The life of leisure costs money, more money than you or your accountant thought you would need. And there is never enough time...

Retirement 'specialists' tell you that you can live more cheaply after retirement. After you quit working you will no longer have any commuting costs, or the need for professionally cleaned and pressed clothes, or those exorbitant lunch expenses, right? Whe you retire you imagine you'll just wear the same clothes for at least week, make your own frugal lunches of egg salad or tuna sandwiches, and take long walks in the morning...


Not quite. I can verify that one quickly gets tired of those cheaply assembled meals. Sometimes it is raining and those long morning walks do not seem so necessary when the torrents are licking at your ankles.

The other thing you realize in retirement is that people think of you in a different way. You no longer have the excuse of the all important job to avoid the demands of family and friends. Suddenly, you realize that there are people who suddenly need you. Perhaps it is just the favor of a ride to the Dr.'s office or an occasional pick-up at the airport. These people would never have bothered to ask when you were working. If your grown kids live nearby, they think that being retired means that you have nothing to do. They don't realize that you are busy, so they load you up with babysitting requests - which you cannot refuse. Freedom to nap is severely limited when you have toddlers to monitor.

Now that you have the time to schedule lunches and even cocktails with working friends and fellow retirees, the calendar gets filled-up fast. But all these lunches and cocktails cost money, and you can't wear the same clothes for a week at a time if you are going to be social. You need to get a decent haircut every three or four weeks. And you want to take those trips you always deferred. No more 4 day get-a-ways; now you can stay as long as you want. (How about a month in Florida next Winter? Can I get a 'Hell, yes?')

Many people plan for retirement by socking away enough money in a retirement account to throw off enough interest to help fund their retirement expenses. We did that. But we did not foresee the meltdown of everything we hold sacred, and the erosion of the nest egg. We didn't consider the fact that we still need to buy new cars every 4 or 5 years, and fix the ones we have. The house seems to deteriorate faster after retirement, the grass and remaining hair seem to grow faster.

We thought that we had enough saved to travel to those places in Europe that we never got around to. Maybe sell the homestead and move to a nice coastal location and get a small boat. We could do that and still leave a little behind for the kids when we are gone. But the value of our property is down and so are the IRA balances.

So, instead of going to boat shows and touring Europe, I am mowing my own lawn, getting haircuts at the bargain place and touring nearbye Canada.

Mind you I am not complaining; I am merely noting that God seems to laugh at our plans. So, you might want to plan accordingly.

Sounds of Summer

This is the noisiest summer I can recall since the time our Siamese female was "in heat." (If this was a Family Guy episode the screen would flashback to a cameo of a young Siamese cat roaming about the house wailing until she finds the (neutered) male. She gets in front of him offering a good rut. He just sits there with a quizzical look on his face wondering what's for dinner... In the next scene, she has been taken to a breeder and is introduced to a big fat smiling stud, who knows exactly what to do. Fade to waves rolling-in. ) That was about ten years ago.


So, what happened to the once-quiet, "sleepy" suburbs? Maybe it just seemed quieter when I was a full time worker. In those days I would out of the house and locked in the daily commute with the radio turned-up by the time the landscape guys swarmed into the neighborhood with their infernal noise machines, or the tree cutters with their gas powered chain saws. And what tree job would be complete without the noisiest device ever to be invented by man - the wood chipper.


Around here, it has not been quiet in years. We live a few hundred yards away from the local railroad station so we get a regular dose of very loud horn blasting by all approaching Amtrak and freight trains. Railroad rules, we are told. Every house on this street - including ours - has had some sort of noisy building project that involved loudtalking men with hammers and saws. And their Boomboxes, of course. Oh, and let us not forget the ubiquitous compressor motor that runs all day.


The latest neighborhood construction job is particularly aggravating since it involves a custom stone wall made of New England Schist. This will not be like the silent wall of Robert Frosts memories - glacially rounded boulders that eventually succumb to gravity. No, this wall is built out of flat sections of sedimentary granite. Each stone is sawed from a larger piece and hammer trimmed, fitted and cemented well enough to survive a nuclear attack. The masons are diligent, working from 7:30am to dusk, which is past dinnertime hereabouts. The noise is irritating.

So that's why I am using these high tech earplugs so I can take a nap. Huh? did someone say something?

Damp-end

We are back from our foreign travels - pale, damp and wrinkled. We only saw the sun on three brief occasions since last Sunday. None of those days happened during our three day stay at Old Orchard Beach. It would have been a wash-out but we enjoyed being with kids and grand kids on the beach in the fog when it was not raining hard.

Wednesday, the sun broke out as we approached the Montpelier, VT environs. It stayed that way all the way to the Canadian-NY border. We took an enjoyable ferry ride across Lake Champlain to Plattsburg in full sunlight. In Canada, driving west on 202, we ran into a monster storm that looked like one of those Tornado Hunter videos, with low angry clouds and lots of lightning and thunder. Somehow, we arrived without any disasters.

The second time the sun came out was on Thursday morning. We had a nice walk around Hamilton Island in Ontario, right on the St Lawrence Seaway. Our excellent hosts sheltered and fed us for two days. Margaritas help raise the spirits when it is raining.
We returned via Syracuse, where we met friends (whom we originally met on our UK trip in 2006) for lunch. It was a brief but enjoyable reunion. It was sunny outside. Most of the ride back on I-90 was intermittent clouds and rain.

There was a lot of driving, but since we had expert routing information and only got lost a few times. OOB was the same as I remember it from my youth. Nice long beach with good waves and clean water. Typical of "vintage" vacation communities in New England - down to earth, affordable, not too pretentious (except the claim on the sign for Debby's Diner: "Best coffee East of the Mississippi river!"). And, where else would you find a hair salon named "Curl up and Dye" ?


We didn't watch the news or read any newspapers, but from the brief images I saw on the TV in one of the rest areas, I gather that Michael Jackson has faked his death so he could run off with the Governor of Alaska. Details to follow.

They all hate us anyhow

Randy Newman supplied the next line: "So let's drop the big one now."

I'm bemused by the anti-Obama claque's latest criticism, that President O is not urging the protesters in Iran to overthrow the government. Perhaps O has learned from the experience of George Bush Sr., in 1991 when he publically urged the Iraqis to overthrow Saddam. That did not work out any better than the US support for Chinese dissidents in 1989 in Tiananmen Square.

The right's panties are all in a twist because they actually believe that "attempted diplomacy" is a felony. I'm not sure what they suggest we do other than "not speaking to tyrants." That's pretty much been proven to be ineffective during the last 8 years. Maybe a softer approach will accomplish something.

In any event, I hope we have learned that we waste the lives and limbs of our troops when we send them to try and copy/paste democracy onto a theocratic society.

Gone Fishing - Update

4:50 AM
Dont look for me to post anything today; I'm going fishing. Stripers beware!

=================
(later that day)

"Home is the sailor, home from sea:
Her far-borne canvas furled
The ship pours shining on the quay
The plunder of the world. "
. . .
AE Houseman (RLS)

Old fisherman -
"On an East wind
The fish, will not be biting today
I dunno where they go
But me, I just mend my pots and nets
and drink gin."

Update - The fish they was not biting today; I came home with a sunburn and the smell of seaworms on my hands.

I love my new job

It has been a week since I started my new job. For those of you who have not been paying attention, the new job is: Full Retirement. No more part time job. No more showering and shaving every day. No more Mr. Nice. You are probably asking yourself, what's next? Are you going to morph into another grumpy old fart (like George and Lefty?) who wear the same Kohl's shorts every day because, well, who cares? Who spend the day researching the blogosphere to support your pedantic musings about how bad Obama is doing? Or who leave snarky comments on your blog?
No, faithful fans; I am not retiring to oblivion, I am retiring to Life.

Since retiring, I notice that the time goes by quickly, compared to the plodding days spent on a tedious payroll 'working for the Man', wasting valuable time sitting in snarled traffic, grinding-out your shift with snarling co-workers and growling management, watching the clock until finally fleeing to your car to escape the dreaded workplace.

I spent most of the day yesterday on a ladder, painting the South end of the house. It was long overdue, as I am sure the neighbors on that side will attest. Some of you are saying to yourself what is that dumbass thinking, going on ladders at his age? Cripes, you sound like my wife. Hey, is more risky driving on Route 128 in rush hour on the way to some hideous job than standing on a well positioned ladder with a bucket of paint.
Painting, unlike most professional work, is quite rewarding. Instead of spending an hour everyday in traffic and then 8 hrs sitting on your fat ass looking busy, then coming home and pounding-down a few scotches to feel clean again, you get to transform an unsightly panel of peeling clapboard into a freshly coated, seductively smooth surface which brings delight to the eyes.

Instead of a shuffled pile of paper forms and flowcharts, you can actually see and admire your results. No backbiting colleague can take credit for your efforts, no one criticizes your grammar or spelling. Pleasantly exhausted by your physical activity, you are rewarded for your labors by a thirst slaking Sierra Nevada, or two.
The painting of the garage invoked the spontaneous sense of victory such as might have been experienced at war's end, or at the culmination of a successful shuttle flight. There was the drama of danger (I wonder if this ladder can hold over 250lbs), new perspectives (hey, up here you can see over the fence...is that the neighbor sunbathing...topless?) the essence human conflict (should I break for a beer or finish this section?) and the agony of the feet (yikes, they are cramped and sore from standing on narrow rungs all day).

Once the job was completed, standing there, swigging my beer, I imagined a celebration in appreciation for my restrative artistic skills. Passers-by and neighbors alike, drawn from their tedious tasks, coming to admire my work, cheering and carrying me like a hero on their shoulders in delirious collective joy.

The other thing about painting is that it doesn't require a lot of brainpower. This leaves the mind free for what might be called imagination.

Murder in Wichita

The death of the Wichita doctor who was murdered on Sunday could have been written-off as the act of a lunatic if it were not for the presumably sane original founder of Operation Rescue who called him a "mass murderer." A subrosa hint of approval: The baby killer got what was coming to him.

The current leaders of anti-abortion groups were quick and mechanical in their statements that they did not condone such action. They are anxious to get this piece of bad publicity out of the headlines so they can re-focus their efforts on the opposition to Obama's SCOTUS nominee, Sonja Sotomayor. They correctly see this as a setback because it focuses the spotlight on their collective loony obsession.

The late-term abortion issue has been hijacked by anti-abortion terrorists who have created an effective campaign of fear and intimidation against the practice, with grisly stories and even pictures on their websites. I say it has been effective because they have scared almost every doctor/nurse/receptionist/hospital administrator out of the field. Tiller was one of three doctors who were still performing legal late term abortions.

But despite the sanctimonious rantings of the likes of Bill O'Reilly et al, it appears that Dr Tiller was not the evil "angel of death", as he has been popularly characterized. He complied with the Kansas law against third-trimester abortions and was acquitted on all charges brought against him.
His patients were not women who found pregnancy inconvenient, but women who found themselves in a horrible dilemma, women whose pregnancies were welcomed but, because of medical complications, would endanger their own life or where abnormalities would doom the baby to a life of pain and suffering. His patients were referred by conscientious doctors who believed that termination was the only viable alternative in such cases. These were acts of compassion. The whackos called it "murder."

Certainly no thinking person wants to encourage late term abortions; but sometimes they are necessary, justified and legal. Tiller was courageously providing a necessary service to these poor women who deserved sympathy, not mindless hectoring from ignorant borderline wack jobs.

Postscript 6/5/09 here is one of the best articles I've seen on this topic
From WSJ June 4

Torturous Logic

Enhanced Interrogation Technique (EIT) - this is the new euphemism and acronym so conservatives do not have to use the word "torture". I don't know of anyone who has undergone waterboarding who doesn't think it is torture. I understand that the US military does it to our own troops as part of Ranger training. I guess that justifies it in the minds of people like Sean Hannity. I am waiting for him to take advantage of Keith Obermann's offer to donate $1,000 to charity for every second that Hannity submits to the procedure.

In the heat of the debate over who knew about these techniques and how effective they were, let us not lose perspective. Back in 2003, we were expecting more terrorist attacks here in the US. It is not hard to imagine that the questioning of terror suspects might have been less genteel than we normally would expect for citizens suspected of shoplifting.

I tend to go along with John McCain's position that torture is not an effective way of eliciting truthful information, and it places us on a moral par with those enemies that have used these practices against our captured soldiers.

We have heard conflicting declarations from government experts about whether the rough interrogation practices of the Bush administration were directly responsible for at least one foiled attempt to create mass destruction in LA.

So, as usual, we are left with conflicting data and no one we can trust to tell us the truth. Thus we must rely on common sense. Ok, maybe one bullet in the kneecap -- we are still talking about Sean Hannity, right?

Penultimate Day Musings

Your humble scribe has made a career of searching and hoping to find one day the ideal job. But, alas, he has always been disappointed. He has worked at 27 different jobs in his life. He started hawking copies of the Boston Herald Traveler to commuters in Watertown Square as a lad. He went on to work numerous part-time/summer jobs after school. He fixed duplicating machines, worked as a painter, wrangled horses on a dude ranch, academic administrator, systems analyst, program manager for new product introduction, wrote resumes for people, and worked as a direct marketing database manager. He has unloaded trucks and stocked shelves, he has been paid for published essays, unpaid for poetry and has killed and eaten a moose single-handedly (Just wanted to see if you were still reading), and, most recently has been one of those unfortunate persons on whom god has played another of His cruel jokes - condemned to be a person who waits on the public.

If you have never had such a job - dealing with the public - you have no idea how loathsome and rude the public can be. If you worked in an office in some bureaucracy all your life, you probably thought your boss was a dick wad and most of your coworkers were evil backbiting shits - oh, and you are totally correct on that point - but now, throw-in an unfiltered rabble of customers to this mix, whose only qualification for your attention is that they are suspected of having money. Management insists that these walk-in, random people should be treated as if they were royalty, instead of ravenous doltish vultures with credit cards, which most of them are.

Don't misunderstand, I am not whining. I am merely pointing out that human beings tend to be nasty, brutish and short-tempered. The world consists of two basic types of people: people who provide service and people who consume service. If you are exclusively in the latter group, you probably have little respect for people in the former group, but I need to tell you, it is probably you who is the moron.

That poor menche that is wrestling with a badly-designed computer system to handle the vagaries of your desires is probably doing the best he or she can. And, even if they respond to you in an unpleasant manner (which you probably deserve) perhaps it is understandable if you consider that they have spent the whole morning dealing with inconsiderate assholes, and maybe they have exceeded the reasonable tolerance point for interfacing with people who think the world revolves around them.

Thank god, tomorrow is my last day. Suck on that, public!

The Pursuit of Happiness

The IDEAS section of today's Boston Globe had and interesting article discussing recent scientific research into what makes humans happy - and unhappy.

I know what you are thinking, Grasshopper: Happy = beer; and Unhappy = running out of beer.

But, the topic is not quite so simple. Most of us would assert that the pursuit of happiness is a constitutionally guaranteed right, despite the persistent nagging feeling that a lot of people are having more fun than we are. Even when something good happens, like a lottery hit, or we get something we have always wanted, the feeling of euphoria does not last very long. Delight fades to mere satisfaction which starts to rust almost immediately. Before we know it, we start to develop a new goal/dream/desire to add to our "To Do/Wish" list.

I have previously remarked on this phenomena of dissatisfaction with the status quo, which I have attributed to human nature. I believe it has been adequately explained by Abraham Maslow' s theory of human motivation - The hierarchy of needs - which everyone studied in college (Psychology 101). The pursuit of happiness is an ongoing process, because the things that make us happy keep changing.

No Grasshopper, I am not just talking about the pleasure one finds in strips of crisp bacon on buttered toast in the morning, or the ecstasy a frosty Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on a warm afternoon sitting on a screen porch with a cigar and a good spy novel. These are immutable moments of happiness, but sadly, they end all to soon.

The happiness we are talking about here is a lasting state of being. The research as discussed in the Ideas article shows that people are not very good at predicting what will bring them lasting happiness. The new boat or a bigger house usually involve unintended effects that diminish the sense of satisfaction. For example: moving to a bigger house may involve a migration to exurbia which entails a longer commute. The research seems to indicate that the unhappiness introduced by a longer, unpleasant commute seems to overshadow the joy of a bigger bathroom.

The ultimate determining factor of those who self report a sense of happiness is having a social network. (Maybe I need to reactivate my Facebook account.) Family, friendship, people to talk to - these are what make the difference.

So, there it is. Stop wasting your time trying to "be happy". You are doomed to never be totally satisfied. Go out and talk to your neighbors and call your mother.

The other side of this research is kind of interesting, too. People who ought to be very unhappy because they have suffered terrible trauma (such as loss of limbs or eyesight) seem not to be as bad off as we would predict. (read the article)

In other words, we suck at predicting the impact of future events of our state of being. In a 2006 survey, the Pew research org did a survey on happiness that is worth your review.

By the way, the pursuit of happiness was a phrase from the Declaration of Independence not the constitution. But you already knew that didn't you?

All this scholarship makes me thirsty. But, I seem to be out of beer :-(
Good thing I am friendly with the neighbors...

State of Fear

Yeah, back on line. Yeah, it cost me $300. Now I am scared to open any email with attachments or links. This is the big Achilles Heel of the internet - hackers can mess everything up. Security experts, like insurance salesman play on our worst fears. Makes you want to just stay in bed and pull the covers up.

I have recently finished re-reading Michael Crichton's State of Fear. The central action in the book is about a group of enviro-terrorists who go around fabricating fake catastrophic "events" to raise the level of fear about man-made global warming. I think Crichton makes an excellent case for those of us who are still skeptical about Al Gore's data - as proffered in "An Inconvenient Truth."

Published in 2004, the story is fictional, but the author did extensive research on the scientific reports and research data that was available at the time. The author -who died last year of apparently natural causes - warned about scientific consensus . Facts are facts, but consensus has almost always been proved wrong by improved observations.

You don't have to agree with all of the arguments made by characters in Crichton's book, but you might have trouble with some of the facts he cites. I do not wish to argue them here, because I think the bigger point that Crichton was making in the book was about the government-sponsored effort to keep the populace in a constant state of fear about things that individuals are helpless to control.


The objective of such a strategy is social control; it is easier to enforce rules which curtail liberties when the people are afraid. Especially if the demon is an unknown foreign power (like Russia or Iran for example) or the climate or even rogue asteroids.

The media thrives on fearful pronouncements and warnings, so do not expect them to dig into the alleged threats.

Now, to distract us from our deflated nest-eggs and the prospect of higher taxes, inflation and ineptitude in government, we have the prospect of swine flu pandemic. Not to worry - Uka Sam will help you. The check is in the mail. Maybe we should nuke Mexico?

Swine Flu and Other Viruses

You and I are in the wrong business, dude. We need to learn how to fix PC's.

I am writing at the public library today, because my PC is in the shop again. This time it was a virus that was pretending to be a security alert system. It obtrusively popped-up to "warn" me about potential attacks. The more I tried to ignore it, the more insistent it became, until I finally unplugged the foolish thing and took it in to Data Doctors. They were pleased to see me, and assured me that it was nothing that a few days scrubbing and $300 couldn't fix.

I am not sure how the virus got into my machine, or when. I disabled my Mcaffee virus blocker years ago, because it slowed my PC down to an unacceptable crawl. Besides that I was convinced that all the new viruses were aimed at the latest Microsoft Operation system. I'm still running XP. We never click on strange links or download anything. So, I hope that I did not pass anything along to people who I send email attachments to. More importantly, I hope I still have my documents when I get the PC back. (No, I have not backed up the files for several months. Thanks for asking.)

Have you noticed that the media are once again trying to create a state of fear about the prospect of a swine flu pandemic? I think this flu business is a marketing product of the pharmacy companies to make us run out to buy Tamiflu. So, have you got any?

Eye Trouble

There is an old joke where the employee calls in "sick".
Boss: What's wrong?
Employee: Eye trouble
Boss: Eye trouble? What do you mean?
Employee: Well, I just can't see working today.

That's how I feel these days.

I know what you are thinking: "What a wuss! You only work 20 hours a week, and you don't have to go in until mid morning, you get out before rush hour. No heavy lifting. No statistics. You get along with your coworkers. What's your problem, dude?"

Ok, here is the answer (and stop calling me 'dude', OK?):
Life is short. I have other things to do.

In past entries, I have referred to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as the best explanation for human motivation. In a nutshell, people are never satisfied with the status quo. (I believe a lot of people settle for status quo but continue to yearn for change.)

The present part time job satisfied a lot of the needs I had expressing before starting last August: A schedule, social interaction, being part of a team, making a few bucks...
All of these were accomplished. And it has been good for me, I will admit.

But, the restrictions of having a job are more than I want to live with at this point in my life. The company doesn't want employees to take long vacations, they expect you to show up on time every day that you are scheduled. This job required me to wear a dress shirt and tie (despite the fact that the many of the customers were slovenly, bad tempered and possessed the fashion consciousness of a 4 year old.) .

So, like a fickle hearted suitor, I proved that I could get the job and do the job --- and now I don't want the job anymore. Thus, I have notified my manager that he might consider finding a replacement as of June 1.

Please do not be concerned that my schedule will now have gaping holes. Somehow my calendar has become scribbled on with a prodigious list of things that need to be done around the house and grounds, not to mention a planned vacation to Maine and Canada.
My wife, who has been enjoying the footloose and free life of post-retirement, has been encouraging me take more time off to go places with her. We also have decided to spend a month in Florida next winter.

A few nights ago, we suddenly lost our favorite cat, our ten-year-old male Siamese, Jasmine-Ming. One minute he was fine; the next minute he was lying on the rug unable to walk and in yowling pain. The emergency vet said it was a blood clot, probably caused by a heart condition. The prognosis for recovery was poor; and we all (reluctantly) agreed that euthanasia was the best option. Finis.

This event underscores the fragility of life. Ming was "just a cat" but he was a family member just the same. Any minute, any one of us could be struck down by accident, stroke, fall, natural or man-caused disaster - heck a meteor could fall out of the sky and poof.

When it happens to me, I do not want to be sitting at a desk; I want to be fishing.

Failure is one of many options

I had an interview for a part time professional job a few weeks ago at a local academic research institute. I did well on 3 of the interviews; the 4Th turned out to be the proverbial interview from hell. It was one of the most uncomfortable hours of my adult life, being grilled by a potential colleague who believed that the successful candidate should have a PhD in Statistics or, at very least, to understand how to use those Excel spreadsheet stat functions that I never learned. I was given a piece of paper and asked to plot the curve of some data that were in an array. It was like an SAT exam question. I drew a happy face, hoping I could charm my way out of this sticky situation. She was not impressed. It was clear from her icy demeanor and Gitmo style interrogation methods that I was NOT what she was looking for. I am not exaggerating - I was actually water-boarded - and my copy of the "Statistics 101 for Dummies" was flushed down a toilet!


I'm sure she gave me a big fat F. I did not get an offer.

The good news is: I will not have the prospect of daily contact with a hostile, nitpicking micromanaging colleague to make my life miserable. Not to mention, parking would have been a nightmare. (I racked-up $33 in parking costs on my three visits, not to mention the probable brain damage during the statistics torture session.)


The experience has reminded me that life is short; and maybe a guy who has spent more than 30 years writing business requirements, specifying data conversions, designing reports and worrying about data integrity - maybe this guy should go sit on a beach and stop trying to get a real job.

St Patrick's Day 2009

Last year at this time, we were on the western side of Kauai. I noticed that St Paddy's Day is not a big deal over there, despite the similarities between Ireland and Hawaii. Both are ancient civilizations who still strongly believe in spirits and sprites. Hawaii, like Ireland, does not have indigenous snakes - who drove them out? St. Iniki?

Anyhow, to tell the truth, I would rather be in Hawaii today enjoying the 80 degree beaches, than here in Boston where it is currently 34 degrees. On the plus side, I have a sixer of Harp in the fridge and an invite tonight for GWP's home-corned beef for the annual dinner (which we missed last year).

How about a bit o' poetry to celebrate the day?

St. Patrick’s Day

Fake Irishmen wearing silly green ties
Calling with bad brogues
for a wee dram of green beer
In bars festooned with shamrocks
Pipes and cartoon leprechauns they
Sing-a-long to a verse of Danny Boy
Like tone deaf drunken goats,
They set the dogs to barking
With their droning tura-lura-lura

Amateurs: they end-up
puking on their Italian loafers
waking-up late for work
the next day in a hangover fog

Grandsons of the famines
Endure this minstrel show
With a mirthless grin
We stay to ourselves
Washing shots of Bushmills
Down with a beer
Glad not to be thinking
About the days
When Irish need not apply.

Yes We Can

I bought a package of underwear today at Sears. I only mention this because by the end of the day , the stock market jumped 379 points.

Could this be the start of the hoped-for rally that has been predicted? I am no economist but I am pretty sure that if everyone out there would just go to a retail store tomorrow and buy something, the economy will start to improve.

Look I bought $15 worth of underwear and the Dow went up 379 points.
Tomorrow, I'm going to shop for socks.

What are you doing to help?

Bail-out the Boomers

I have an alternative to some of those pork barrel projects that the Obama congress has recently approved as part of the Stimulus Plan. You know the ones I am referring to - that do nothing to stimulate the economy - like funding more social services and roads to nowhere and giving raises to bureaucrats

New law, Boomer Relief Bailout retroactive to Jan 2009: Anyone eligible for IRA distributions, whose taxable income from all sources is less that 250K per year will be allowed to take ordinary distributions up to $20,000 from an IRA/401K tax free!
The effect of this law would free-up money that many retirees are rat-holing because they are reluctant to expose it to IRS taxes. The Gov't wants to stimulate the economy, and this would inject billions of dollars into the economy now - instead of waiting for it to be distributed years down the road, squandered on nursing homes and depends.

In the long run this would cost a lot less than imposing new taxes on a beleaguered generation. This plan would also afford some relief to the low-middle income group (many of whom have already lost up to half of their retirement nest egg in the past 18 months.)

Many people would be eager to take out a "tax free" $20K and take a trip, put a down payment on a house, install replacement windows or buy a car!

This would help to save America! Are you listening John Kerry? Barney Frank? Ferris Beuller?

Why I Deactivated my Facebook Account

Don't look for me on Facebook anymore. I deleted myself yesterday, after realizing that most of my "friends" are really relatives or in-laws. And we are using the internet to communicate instead of calling each other on the phone or writing more than 2 sentences in a letter.

It is very revealing. And what it reveals is how banal and un-interesting my network is. And, who gives a crap about their pets? Or livestock? People taking photos of themselves with animals is just creepy, if you ask me.

The other thing my "friends" do is to entertain themselves by writing comments on my wall to correct spelling errors (and other minor inaccuracies). Please - if you can't think of anything more to say than to comment on someone's grammatical mistakes or spelling errors, perhaps you should re-evaluate your priorities, you nitpicking natterers.

It's really a young person's venue - where people give out personal information like popcorn, and post inanities. I admit to posting a few myself. See, it's not my fault, it's the medium that invites reckless behavior. This is why I do not blame my tormentors. Now I have deleted the wall. They lose. Besides, no one likes them and they smell funny.

Anyway, the whole facebook idea is just based on graffitti when you think about it.
Oh did I mispell that? Who cares?

Stop The Presses!

Holy cow, fatman, the breaking news is in!

Researchers have made the startling discovery that regardless of the fad diet, the significant factor in weight loss is fewer calories.

Duh.

American Cowardice

The new AG called us a nation of cowards yesterday because most Americans hang out with people of their own race. Thanks a lot. After a lifetime of supporting efforts to level the playing field, it suddenly dawns on me that Nothing will ever be enough when you are dealing with the victim mentality.

I'm sure Holder was also intentionally firing his shotgun at all self-segregating peoples of every color and background. For example those *bleeping* Amish. They should be ashamed of themselves for preferring to associate with people with whom they share common interests and moral beliefs.

If Holder (the first black AG in our history) thinks we need more honest discussions about race, he should address the specifics rather than exploding a suitcase bomb full of guilt in the public square. He might start by addressing the reasons people are drawn together rather than poking a sharp stick at the touch points of hatred.

What the hell is he talking about anyhow? Doesn't he have a cable TV? There are shows on every network discussing race relations, all the time. They get boring, because the issue that really needs to be addressed is national ignorance not intolerance. How can you have a frank and honest discussion with someone who thinks the word "niggardly" used in proper context is a racial slur?

How about a frank and honest discussion about those professional racists, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton? And how about Rev Wright? Maybe I'm missing something but I do not see representatives of any other group who have gained such noteriety by frank and honest dialogue.

Hopefully, Mr Holder will revise his word usage, or some of us "cowards" might become bold enough to sue for reparations.

Enough Already

I can't figure out why the liberal press keeps harassing Sarah Palin. She seems to be a lightning rod for all the losers in Alaska and dems who want to keep the spotlight off Biden. She's not that bad. I don't think she was McCain's best choice - and he might have won with someone like Romney or even Giulianni as the VP. Still, I think they should leave her be for a few more years at least.

Why I Am Going to Register as a Republican

Democratic Senator Predicts None of His Colleagues 'Will Have the Chance' to Read Final Stimulus Bill Before Vote

I think it should be a punishable crime for congressional representatives to vote for a bill that they have not read. There should be no rush to the vote to sell our grandchildren into indentured servitude.

This is Chicago style politics, and it's dirty.

We are Not Impressed

The Dow dropped 382 points yesterday, reflecting Wall Street's confidence in the new administration's vague plans for spending trillions of dollars that we do not have.

We are not impressed with Mr Geithner who should have showed-up better prepared to address the details that he surely must have known were expected. One blogger thinks he looked like a deer in the headlights. I thought his attempts at coolness came-off as arrogance

We are also dismayed by the President's vagueness at the press conference yesterday. Unlike the fawning George Stephanopoulos, we gave him a "D" because like most of the country, we wanted to hear a reason to support his plans. He did not earn any grade points on economy questions. Complaining about partisan politics (because the opposition wanted to cut out funding for programs that would do nothing to improve the economy)clangs like an empty drum.

Then again today at the town meeting in Ft Myers, it was embarrassing to hear questioners begging The President for relief for their "urgent needs" as if he were the moderator of a give-away show. (Er, fine, my staff will look into it.)
How about, "Sorry, I know I promised you Socialism, but it's gonna take time to get the money to all you victims of opression."

Every day my retirement nestegg gets smaller. I need a bailout too but, like Chicken Little, I'm afraid that the sky (Dow) has fallen - and it can't get up.

The Solution

Yesterday, I used my government-issued $40 voucher to buy an analog to digital TV converter. CVS had them on sale for $49.

We are not cave people; we do have digital access via FIOS on the two main sets. The upstairs TV gets the free analog channels, so we elected not to pay $5 per month for the Verizon set-top box.

I had applied for the voucher online early in January and, sure enough, it came in the mail last week. Using the card at checkout worked like butter. My out-of-pocket cost was $9 and change, yet $49 went into the retail sales machine.
(What a bonus it would have been if the manufacturers of these devices were in America instead of Hong Kong.)

It occurs to me that this Voucher approach could be The Solution. Instead of a bloated "bail-out" bill - which will pour hundreds of billions into the coffers of organizations that will not do anything to help "stimulate" the economy, the Feds should just issue voucher cards to individuals for retail, home improvement and entertainment purchases.

If you think about it, the principle stimulus to the economy is at the consumer level. When consumers are consuming all is right with the world. Spending at this level moves inventory, creates jobs, drives confidence. Before you know it you have a rally in the stock market, banks start lending money, people buy new stuff...

Instead of giving more money to failed banks and social services, the bail-out money needs to go to activities that drive sales of goods, services and real estate.

You want to buy a new car, house, boat? Unka Sam will help. Here's your voucher.
You have 45 days to use it or it goes away. Granted this creates another level of bureacracy to administer the givaways. Maybe a new cabinet secretary - a voucher czar?

Anyhow, I hope all the elected reps who read this blog are paying attention. Please do not pass the bill which is loaded with pork and feathers. We are watching and we will not forget what you do here today.

Public Education

Sorry to those of you who depend on my postings to lift the dreariness of your workaday life. I have been wrapped-up in my own mundane existence recently, and have not had much spare time for opining on the bizarre behavior of others.

Since I have returned to the workforce several months ago, I have refrained from commenting on my job or the organization, lest someone of poor humor find my observations to be worthy grounds for involuntary termination. Please do not take this lack of commentary as an indicator that I have at last found a position worthy of my skills and ambitions. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The best thing about my part-time situation is the 20 hour work schedule. The worst thing is that it is basically a retail business that involves working with the public. The "public" means for every ten people you deal with, 2 are enjoyable, 6 are OK and 2 are odious bad-tempered shits.

If I could find a part-time job as a systems analyst or other information professional, within my commute range, at a higher wage, I would jump at it. But such opportunities are pretty rare. I don't know why this is the case. Some observers have suggested that I increase my acceptable commute range beyond a 10-minute ride, but I have my priorities!

If I was a local business or IT manager I would definitely consider hiring experienced low -maintenance old guys, willing to solve problems for cheap money, without benefits for, say, 3 days a week. I'm thinking the current economic situation is going to make it even harder to find someone willing to try a new - potentially more effective - model for work.

So, I just keep my mouth shut and go to work at my retail job. My favorite pub is on the way home, so, life is not so bad.

Most professional people have never worked at a job where there is a counter and an expectation of customer service. These lucky cube dwellers never realize how rude and obnoxious the general public can be. If you have ever sneered at a clerk or stiffed the pizza delivery guy you probably thought they were bumbling oafs - not somebody's mother or a neighbor's kid who was trying their best to do the right thing.

For example, if you encountered me at my part time job, you might regard me as a nice, friendly, well-meaning, old, incompetent fart -- never realizing that I am in fact ornery, extremely competent and fully in control of my bodily gasses. The core reason for your misunderstanding about me is the ancient, poorly designed business process that I am obligated to follow.

Instead of rendering to you exemplary customer service - because your satisfaction is my highest ambition - I am presented with an obstacle course/maze of badly designed systems and processes through which I must find my way (while you wait, impatiently, drumming your fingers on the counter) in order to take your money and give you a receipt and the proper change.

As a sophisticated customer, in the age of bar-coding, Blackberry and IPod, you probably expect the customer service interaction to be smooth and effective. When it does not meet your expectations, you naturally consider the person on the other side of the counter to be a dolt. (I do not blame you for thinking this way, I only hope you can refrain from actually treating the poor retail drone as a dolt.)

Retail management should be the object of your derision and mockery. They are the figures who sit in posh corporate offices, deciding not to spend the cost of 1 hour of programming to save 10 unnecessary clicks on every sale in the cashiering program that processes 10,000 transactions a week.

That and their dumbass customer service surveys. You should know that if you did not like the service, please never fill-out a survey. It will not improve things if you rate your experience as less than 100% satisfied. These surveys are just used as a baseball bat to punish the most innocent victim in the food chain - the poor shmuck whose job is to deliver a bad product to you. If you want to improve things, always talk to the boss directly and do not blame your clerk/waiter/delivery guy.

So, gentle readers, my re-entry into the working world of retail has been a learning experience for me. Not always inspirational, but it has given me a good reason to shower and shave every few days. Someday, I may be able to use some of this material, And we have not even begun to talk about my coworkers.

Please, don't get me started....

Someone Up There is an Idiot

Here is the afternoon headline "US will give $85 million to aid Palestinians"

Now I do not want to see anyone suffer, but that seems a lot like giving aid and comfort to the enemies of our only reliable Mideastern ally.

These Gaza schmucks are the ones who 1) voted Hamas into power and 2) let them start the fight with Israel. Hello - The consequences of shooting rockets over the border are fairly well established in history. The Palestinians are reaping what they sowed. Can it get more stupid?

Answer, yes. The US government - which has already demonstrated to the world that supposedly smart people can act stupidly to a degree that challenges credulity - wants to give the poor Pallys more money.

Doesn't anyone up there realize that recipients see money as a reward for behavior?

And While we are asking questions, I would like to know:when is the US going to help the US taxpayer?

Happy Boxing Day

Traditionally, the day after Christmas was observed by giving gifts to the less fortunate. These days, it is a media-sponsored shopping day - where you stand in line to return the crappy gifts you got for Christmas.

If we get any crappy gifts, we save them for New Years Eve.

For the past twenty-odd years, ten of us - couples from the old neighborhood - have gotten together at the Clooneys for the annual rite of passage from old year to new year. We have drinks and dinner. George presides over the grading of our predictions from the past year. The winner gets a bottle of wine for a prize. Then he reads all of our new predictions for the coming year. Last year, when George predicted that oil woud drop below $75 a barrel. We all laughed.
A few of us predicted Obama's successful run, but nobody saw Sarah Palin coming. And no one really thought that we would be in a bad recession (or we definitely would have spent more money on frivolous things).


After predictions we have the White Elephant Yankee Swap. We are all charged to bring a wrapped, unwanted item that we got as a gift. Then, in fine Yankee Swap tradition, we draw numbers and choose from the pile of crappy gifts. The "gifts" range from bizarre noisy gadgets (e.g., a rotating santa claus that repeatedly plays some chinese melody) to the just plain ugly (a plastic fish that sings "On the dock of the bay," when you touch it's head).


It is a cut-throat game between competitive New York types (There are only 2 Boston area natives in the group), bringing out the worst in us, but it is kind of fun. We permit ourselves to be politically incorrect (laughing uproariously at gifts which reveal at the bad taste of less sophisticated gift givers) and we can be mean-spirited in a harmless way.

At the end, each of us ends-up with a crappy gift/stolen treasure. Clooney reminds us each year of the two rules: One, you must not dispose of the crappy gift until you are off his property; and two, you cannot save your crappy gift to bring again next year.


Then it is midnight; we all watch the ball in Times Square fall on TV. We drink some champagne, kiss all the members of the opposite sex and go home at 12:05. We are all in our sixties and cannot stay-up all night partying - like we did years ago.
The next day, we take the crappy gifts that we got from the white elephant swap to the dump. We call it "recycling;" more noble than re-gifting, don't you agree?

Merry Christmas

It is 50 degrees outside. Holy climate change, Batman.

If you haven't got our snail-mailed Christmas Card yet (and that includes 99% of you - please be assured that we do wish you the best wishes for the season regardless of your religion, gender orientation, handicap, political ambition, zip code or race.

On the list of real Procrastinators, my name is very near the top. That is why there was no Christmas letter this year, nor last year... come to think of it. Maybe I will get it finished and call it a New Year letter...

Yeah, well, maybe next year....

Winter Wonderland

The snow looks beautiful outside, covering everything with another blanket of fluffy snow. Everyone is in a panic because it has been snowing off and on since noon on Friday and a new storm ( a northeaster) has barreled up the coast to join the desultory low pressure area that has been coming from the west. Holy global warming batman they think we could get another 8 inches.

Honk honk: They're baaak. Due to the wicked bad arctic melting, they have called off school for the next few weeks. We need to watch the grand kids Monday and Tuesday, so their working parents can keep earning the rent money. Probably Wednesday too. Good thing I have a part time job, eh?

Well, Let it snow....I need to go and check to see if we have enough beer....

The Curse of Global Warming

This forum has been out of service due to Global Warming.
The man-made increase in greenhouse gasses that brought 8" of snow to places like New Orleans and Dallas last week also generated a wicked Ice storm that hit Worcester County here in Massachusetts.

Last Friday we got a call from our daughter who lives near Worcester. "We are trapped in the house with no heat or electricity. There are power lines and tree limbs all over the street. And I can't talk long because my cell phone battery is running low and I can't re-charge it. Can we come and stay with you?"

That was the first news I heard of the storm which had deposited freezing rain on tree limbs which became so heavy that they snapped and brought any wires down with them. The breaking limbs sounded like gunshots in a war zone.

Fortunately, with help from neighbors, the they were able to get heavy tree limbs out of the way so they could make their way out and escape the cold, dark cave that the house had become. They packed the contents of their dead refrigerator into plastic tubs along with some clothes and came to our house to wait for power to be restored.

So for the past week, we have been hosting the four refugees, turning my computer space, into a bedroom for the 2 active grandsons ages 8 and 6. It has been fun at times and challenging also - especially if one needs some quiet moments to write one's blog.

Last night, one full week later, they got news that electricity was back on. This morning, they returned home. Ergo, I have my writing space and the chaos is diminished.

The experience reminds us how illusionary is the safety and security of modern life. We take power, fresh water and heat for granted. We expect the supermarket and ATM machines to be available 24x7. As the Katrina debacle in New Orleans demonstrated a few years ago, we realize that we all are, in fact, a mere 36 hours from becoming savages.

It also underscores another fact of human existence: unless it is happening to us, we tend to be insensitive to the plight of others.

All is well for now. Perhaps some semblance of normalcy will return...
Wait! What is this on the news? Another 12 inches of snow this afternoon?
Curse you, global warming!

Post Colonoscopy post

Don't worry, I am not posting the video of my latest encounter with The Rear Admiral. Katie Courec already scooped the field of gastroenterologic porn. You might go to You-tube if you are looking for that sort of entertainment.

Lately, I have been thinking about things that we really need to make life bearable. With all the dire warnings about the failing economy and hard times, it's clear that the government needs to spend money more wisely.

I am not a fan of earmarks, but there is one area of medicine that I think deserves a hefty government subsidy: Finding a colonsocopy prep that doesn't taste like elephant ass.

Click

Like most of my fellow Americans I do not believe that we need government censorship. The recent interest in "The Fairness Doctrine" has thrown some of the local right wing talk show hosts into a state of screechy fear.

The righties are always blathering about the Liberal bias of "the mainstream media." So when they (quite accurately) observe that the major outlets of news and entertainment tend to slant liberal, they are always full of righteous (and somewhat pompous) indignation. In other words, they see a vast left wing conspiracy.

But if the majority of the most-watched news networks and programming are aimed at the vast (Liberal) majority of viewers, it would seem that the benefactors of the Fairness Doctrine would be the under-represented Conservatives. How is my logic flawed?

Despite the constant and eternal drumbeat of negativity towards anything not-conservative (ie, America hating Democrats), these pompous pundits worry that the fairness doctrine will put them out of business. Supporters hurry to defend the one-sided rants of these talk show hosts by citing the ubiquity of the mainstream. Note that Limbaugh and Savage and lessor known imitators seldom have guests - especially not anyone who can present an intellectual defense of an opposing position. Instead they entertain the loyal listeners with soundbites clipped out-of-context to which they mount their mocking attacks.

The public does not need the government to tell us what to listen to on the radio or TV. The FCC certainly has a legitimate role to ensure that the airwaves are not being used to promote illegal activities or to incite the public to acts of violence. But I do not want the government shutting-down Rush Limbaugh or Michael Savage in the name of the fairness doctrine.


Air America the anti- right wing network failed because it didn't attract enough listeners/sponsors. That is the American way - we abandon those who fail to entertain us.

My personal vote has been registered via my radio dial. I no longer listen to the local talk shows. The traditional role of talk radio as a place where one might hear a balanced perspective has been replaced by ego-maniacs on a mission. Not entertaining.

click

McCain was on SNL last night. This time he was pretty good. Cindy also made an appearance. I got the impression that he figured "What the hell; I've got nothing to lose." He seemed to enjoy doing the skit with fake Sara Palin (Tina Fey).

Somewhere you will probably see a clip of last night's host Ben Aflec, stating that he supports John McCain for president. The clip will probably not include Aflec's build-up where he notes that every candidate that he has ever publicly supported from Dukakis to Gore to Kerry has lost. So in that spirit he hopes to ensure an Obama victory by publicly coming-out for McCain.

Barney Frank has an ad that shows a daisy chain of elephants mounting each other from the rear. He should fire the company that came up with that one. He totally blames the Republicans for the Wall street meltdown. He promises to clean up the mess when he is re-elected.

Well, this effing election thing is almost over. No October surprise. Gas is $2.56 per gallon. People are shopping for SUV's again. What a world.

Sign at the local Starbucks: "POLITICS Poly = many Tics=Blood-sucking parasites"
Well said.

Hallowe'en Thoughts

Obama's expensive infomercial on Wednesday night was a yawn. Instead of a hard-hitting 5 minute spot, it was a rehash of everything we already know. After what seemed like 2 hours, I shut it off to go and sort my socks. What a colossal waste of campaign contributions - that could have been more effectively spent buying votes through ACORN :-)
If there was ever a subliminal advertising spot designed to convince people not to waste their hard earned money on contributions to political campaigns, this had to be it.
Seriously folks, next time you are tempted to write a check for your fave candidate, you must realize that you are actually funding those nasty TV ads and dumbass feel-good spots that we all mock and deride. They take your hard-earned money and waste it with idiotic attacks and self-serving video masturbation.

This is all designed to make you forget that the American Presidential nomination and election process somehow manages to disqualify anyone who would actually be a great leader. We always end up with two candidates, neither of whom would be trusted to properly run your town's recycling and disposal facility (Dump), never mind becoming head honcho of the freaking nation.
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One that same vein, the poor schmuck who is running against John Kerry was in the news yesterday. Jeff Beatty, largely unknown Republican, who has been waging a fruitless campaign to try to knock-off John Kerry in the US senatorial election, finally gets a little press coverage in the Boston Globe. Not because of his political positions, but because his hapless campaign paid a fundraising outfit 96% of every dollar raised on his behalf. This is not money spent on campaign expenses, posters, ads or anything that might help the candidate. This was the cost of raising the money. Paying the guys who solicited just enough money to pay their own costs. Talk about a black hole!

Even Kerry would not be that clueless. This is sad. People give money to politicians thinking that they are helping some noble effort. Yet, the recipients have so little respect for the earned dollar that they squander the money in stupid ways. Next time you are tempted to do something charitable with your money, you would be better off going down to the corner bar, and buying rounds of drinks for total strangers. At least then your money would be doing some good. And you would have a few more friends.

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My conservative friends probably see tonight's festivities as just one more step in the American dance toward Socialism. The slide down a slippery slope will be manifested in the gatherings of youth, who will be dressed in masks and costume and who will go around banging on their neighbors' doors, demanding treats and threatening dire tricks to be played upon the unwilling. Assets will be confiscated. Kid-hating elderly will turn off their lights and cower in their beds. Evil spirits will laugh at our shrinking nest eggs. It is training for the little goblins and pirates to grow into young Marxists who will come to believe that what's yours is also theirs.

Scary thoughts. Some of us will dull the pain with a few beers to help us sleep through it all.

Being Right can be Disappointing.

McCain/Palin voter support seems to be slipping away gradually like leaves from a maple tree in Autumn. Although no one openly agrees with polling results that favor the opposition, hardass conservatives must be munching Rolaids these days.

Their candidate has not galvanized the red states, the stock market declines are making voters wonder whether unfettered greed (i.e., Capitalism) is really the best system for America, and the camel is in the tent which is sliding down a slippery slope. Dark days are certainly ahead...

But the majority of you Maalox drinkers should have heart. President Obama will not be raising your taxes. It is those poor shmucks who are earning over one million USD per year that he will be targeting.

Think of poor Tina Fey, whose career stock has risen with her recent return to SNL, playing Sarah Palin, will burst like the housing bubble.

I suggest that Republican loyalists would do well do pray that Obama remains healthy during the next term or two.

Game 7

After giving up and going to bed at 11pm in game 5 and missing the Red Sox comeback from a 7-0 deficit, I realize I am considered a fairweather fan, but here I am again watching game 7 in the 4th inning with my guys ahead.

This is how I entertain myself during the repetitive ads all of which I have seen 30 times already. I cannot figure out how the ad guys have convinced the sponsors that if you show the same ad 30 times the viewers will not start using the time to check on desparate housewives or to go get a beer or update their blogs.)

I feel sorry for those dads who are watching the game with their sons - especially the younger ones -with the Viagra ads. How the heck do you explain floppy weiner to an eight year old?

Worst ads : The dumabass car ad with Brook Shield, They're here! any ad with that punkass asten kutcher, the aforementioned erectile disfunction products and the super dumb phone ad where the guy calls his daughter "dude".

The best one is the e-trade kid who used his profits to rent a clown. And the Verizon dead zone at the motel.

5th inning oh crap we're losing 2-1!
7th Inning still losing. Aybar home run makes it 3-1 Curse them
9th Inning the Sox cannot score with men on base and thus lose the effing game.

Thank goodness. Now I can get some sleep

Still Undecided After Final Debate

The presidential debate last night was the most revealing dialogue that we have seen to date. The moderator Bob Shieffer did a fine job, and if I may say so, looked somewhat presidential himself.

I liked the format, with the two candidates sitting at the table with plenty of time to answer the questions. This time McCain looked at Obama when he criticized. Obama smiled at McCain's attacks the way you do when your aging Uncle Jimmy starts his crazy rants.

I thought Obama squandered some great opportunities to put our minds at ease about some of the dark allegations about his past associates (e.g., Rev Wright, Resco) but he did credibly discuss his role as Counsel with ACORN which has been flogged by the conservative talk shows ad nauseum.

He seemed calm and collected, while McCain seemed furtive, nervous, robotic and a bit giggly. (Not good presidential qualities). This performance was unsettling to me, because this very morning, I had resolved to vote for McCain on the sole basis of his plan to allow $10,000 in distributions from IRA's to be free from taxes for two years.

Now, I am undecided again. Maybe I should write-in for Bob Shieffer.

In the WSJ today, Danial Henninger writes a great column (McCain's Katrina)
He draws an excellent analogy between the FEMA response to Katrina and McCain's impotence in the "Hurricane Fannie" affair.
However, I think he omitted the most damaging part of the story. When House and Senate representatives added another billion dollars in earmarks to the "emergency" bailout bill, they demonstrated the worst of cynical "business as usual' Washington politics.

It was McCain's moment to "name names" of the miscreant earmarkers and to demonstrate his skill at getting things done. Instead of being the tough crusader against such pork barrel spending, McCain meekly voted for the bill without even commenting on it.
For me, this Homer Simpson moment erased much of McCain's credibility as the self-annointed guy who can fix things.

The Sox are going down in flames, the Patriots glory days are history, and the economy is on a feeding tube. The only good news is that this effing election is almost over.

The Bailout

Note to readers: Sorry for those of you who have come to depend on my analytical brilliance to decide how you feel about issues of the day, but my PC crapped-out the other day and I have been challenged to find time and opportunity to post. My part-time workplace actually blocks computer access to most Internet sites, and I do not have a "back-up" 'puter ready to go. Today I am using my wife's laptop which I find awkward and clunky. Still, the show must go on!



The stock market has been volatile and the news is grim. Stories of people losing their life savings and businesses threatening to lay people off are now the daily staple of media reports.



In the news today there was a story about a woman who had invested all her money in Wachovia Bank stock. She lived in her own home in an affluent suburb, and was living a good life funded entirely on stock dividends. Now she is living in her son's basement.



People like me - who have already given up full time jobs in favor of retirement - are worried that our dwindling nest-eggs could disappear entirely - and we too will be forced to live in our children's basements. (I have even stashed a couple of hundred bucks in a sock just in case the ATM system fails and I need beer money).

It is not fun to be dependent on a fixed income, (especially if you are not getting fat trust fund checks like Paris Hilton ) or, working a part-time retail hellhole job making small money and putting-up with the odious public.



But, gentle readers, be not discouraged. Life will go on. Business cycles are an historic fact of life and this too shall pass. We will survive this crisis somehow. It will not be fun, but that doesn't mean that you cannot have any fun. As we work our way through these coming hard times I shall share some of my cost-cutting secrets with you my loyal readers - all four of you!



Now to the hard analysis of the bail-out:

This meltdown of credit markets can be traced directly back to the affirmative action goals of the federal government, which mandated that lenders give mortgage loans to people who could not afford them unless the equity value of the property kept rising. Freddie and Fannie were forced to guarantee these shaky loans.....


Combine the government's social engineering experiment with the greed and chicanery of the investment banks and mortgage companies and you get a trillion dollars betting that the houses that were held as collateral in these contracts would increase in value indefinitely, and nobody would lose. Well they didn't, and lots of people lost a lot; then the walls came tumbling down....

The solution:

Much as it will hurt, the government needs to let the businesses that risked their survival on bad loans fail. People will lose jobs. The gov't needs to help small businesses by extending credit to them, but not buying bad debt.



I will lose my stockholder equity in companies like AIG. I hate that, but hey I knew it was a gamble. There should not be guarantees for gamblers.

The people who bought houses that they couldn't afford are no worse off than they were before, and they have had a nice house to live in for a while. The leadership of the failed companies cannot be allowed to walk away with money when everyone else loses. Contract shmontract. Employees of failed companies will need to find work elsewhere. Government representatives who guessed wrong and made the situation worse must resign (and it would be nice if they took the blame in the manner of Japanese tradition of honor (sepicu).

The Way I saw It

During the debate tonight Obama beat the snot out of McCain. McCain was like a little girl - not able to look Obama in the eye, how can he claim that he looked Putin in the eye? Or that he would face up to other world leaders?

Obama seemed presidential. He clarified every accusation despite the feeble attempts by McCain to continue to distort and mischaracterise his position.

Neither of them addressed the current fiscal crisis in any meaningful way that would invite a voter to think that they had a real handle on the situation. This is indeed distressing. Where is Ross Perot when you need him with his charts and graphs?

McCain failed to make a convincing case for his tax cuts to people making more than 250,000 per year nor did he address Obama's stilleto puncture of the Business Tax rate loophole balloon. On the other hand Obama did not provide any mathmatical support to tell us where all the money would come from to support his programs.

McCain's point about South Koreans being an average of 3" taller than North Koreans made about as much sense as Obama trotting-out his Kenyan roots and the diminished capacity of the USA to attract immigrants. Maybe I was dozing off and missed those points.

Beyond Stupid

Anyone who thinks the "lipstick slur" was anything other than a fiendishly funny line, needs to get their panties out of their wedge and have their sense of humor recharged.
You probably laughed when Sarah sneered about Obama's experience as a community organizer with no responsibilities, which was very offensive to many of the Republican community organizers out there. Wait a minute. Oh lordy, never mind. I've just been informed that there are Zero Republican community organizers out there. Whew!

For those who still don't get it, Why would calling her a pig make sense?

That would be stupider than asking the guy in the wheelchair to stand up and take a bow...

Someone was right when they said things are getting "beyond stupid."

Geena Davis Where are You?

Well McCain's new VP nominee is a babe. And someday I think she could be a real contender: she has guts, ethical chops, apparent leadership abilities and she is wonderfully photogenic. I hate her Midwestern schoolmarm voice and her Fargo accent, but she may overcome these annoyances, someday.


This year, McCain needs someone who can step into the job... just in case.

Lets face it, if you were running a dead pool on the nominees, McCain would be everyone's favorite as the candidate most likely to kick the bucket...


After all his gasbagging about experience and readiness to lead, I think McCain 'crapped the rug' with this pick. Apparently, he could not find one honest, experienced republican who he thought was ready to step into the oval office, who was not corrupt or unfaithful to his spouse...

Yes Ms Palin has executive experience - as mother of 5 and 2 years as Gov. (Just like George W. Bush who was Gov. of Texas -Lord knows that experience proved invaluable in the ruination of our economy and world standing during the past 8 yrs.)

A few years ago we watched and enjoyed a TV program called "Commander in Chief" starring Geena Davis as the "token" woman VP who was sworn in when the President unexpectedly dies. The new Commander did pretty well in that role, despite being considered a lightweight by all her detractors.

Let us hope that life does not imitate art, this time.

Returning to The Hellhole?

It is with mixed emotion that I report that I have recently returned to the world of commerce. After a three year extended sabbatical which was characterized by unpaid unemployment - leisure mornings spent reading the Globe and WSJ, thinking about world affairs, monitoring the status of our nest egg, updating my memoirs, unhurried lunches with friends and delicious afternoon naps - I have reluctantly returned to the workforce. Part time.

What, you ask, would prompt a sane person to leave such an idyllic, free and unsupervised state? Am I seeking material for a new sitcom? Has my wife's recent retirement and increased surveillance put a damper on my freedoms? Has the rising cost of food and fuel impinged upon my available pool of discretionary spending money? Was I bored? Did they make an offer I could not refuse? Am I trying to impress Jody Foster?

Who can say? Even today, as I ponder my own motivation, I am unclear about the forces which have impelled me to seek (and accept) a job which requires me to bathe, dress in clean clothes and to be present in an office at a designated time. Why does any human being do that?
The answer is probably lurking somewhere in that theory of human motivation that is described in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. In summary, it says we are never satisfied with our present condition.

So, now I have some new situations and people to mock and deride. Managers, supervisors, co-workers - oh and let us not forget the most deliciously perverse creatures who walk the Earth - Customers! Yes, friends, a whole new world is open before us: let us laugh at it together.

One disclaimer: My advisers have counseled me not to reveal the actual identity of my new workplace or the actual people that infest it. There are at least two good reasons for this:
#1) I don't want to get fired until I am good and ready #2) The jury has not decided if it is a hellhole yet.

I know that you are saying to yourself, "Of course it's a hellhole, you numbnuts!" But I try not to jump to conclusions.
Stay tuned. I need to go now and get ready for work.