3/15/2013
My Favorite Irish Verse
Yes, I plan to publish this poem every St Patricks Day... until I write a better one.
The Irony of St. Patrick’s Day
Fake Irishmen wearing silly green ties
Calling with bad brogues
For a wee dram of green beer
In bars festooned with shamrocks
Pipes and cartoon leprechauns they
Sing-a-long to a verse of Danny Boy
Like tone deaf drunken goats,
They set the dogs to barking
With their droning tura-lura-lura
Amateurs: they end-up
Puking on their Italian loafers
Waking-up late for work
The next day in a hangover fog
Grandsons of the famines
Endure this minstrel show
With a mirthless grin
We stay to ourselves
Washing shots of Jameson's
Down with a beer
Glad not to be thinking
About the days
When Irish need not apply.
3/14/2013
Low Information Politician?
One of the staunchest promoters of the "defense of marriage" act has suddenly come out in favor of same sex marriage. Ohio Senator Rob Portman has reversed his former position because he finds out that his son is gay, and suddenly he has developed empathy towards others. Something like that happened with Dick Cheney too.
It seems we are all just one family member or valued friend from changing our fundamental beliefs.
In the light of such dramatic revelations, how can we be sure of anything that we believe?
3/12/2013
Low Information Voter
Rush Limbaugh's latest object of scorn is the misinformed, uninformed, "low-information voter" (LIV), ie, anyone who disagrees with his peculiar view of the world.
I occasionally listen to Rush on WRKO the only station that has talk in Boston these days. I don't agree with 90% of his bloviations** - usually a pretzel-like interpretation of current events that ends-up painting Obama as a supremely devious character surrounded by commies and socialists who hate working people and business owners. The illogical reigns supreme in Limbaughs rants: Obama wants to give your hard earned money to lazy loafers, and he is intentionally ruining the system so the government can take over every aspect of your life. Well, how are the socialists going to give your money to the lazy loafers if there is no tax revenue? And why does he hate Americans? It is just idiotic.
Now, If the criticism was based on a belief that Obama and his administration are just plain incompetent and ruining the country by accident, malfeasance and stupidity, well that is a different accusation.
The big contradiction is revealed when you listen to his callers. Most of them sound like they live in a remote cave, because they hardly seem aware of any information that they did not hear from Rush, drudge report or that lightweight Sean Hannity. To me, they exemplify the epitome of low-information voters, cloistered in ignorance and arrogance.
** 10% of the time, I appreciate his subtle self mocking sense of humor. He shows the ability to be a satirist of high order, at times.
I occasionally listen to Rush on WRKO the only station that has talk in Boston these days. I don't agree with 90% of his bloviations** - usually a pretzel-like interpretation of current events that ends-up painting Obama as a supremely devious character surrounded by commies and socialists who hate working people and business owners. The illogical reigns supreme in Limbaughs rants: Obama wants to give your hard earned money to lazy loafers, and he is intentionally ruining the system so the government can take over every aspect of your life. Well, how are the socialists going to give your money to the lazy loafers if there is no tax revenue? And why does he hate Americans? It is just idiotic.
Now, If the criticism was based on a belief that Obama and his administration are just plain incompetent and ruining the country by accident, malfeasance and stupidity, well that is a different accusation.
The big contradiction is revealed when you listen to his callers. Most of them sound like they live in a remote cave, because they hardly seem aware of any information that they did not hear from Rush, drudge report or that lightweight Sean Hannity. To me, they exemplify the epitome of low-information voters, cloistered in ignorance and arrogance.
** 10% of the time, I appreciate his subtle self mocking sense of humor. He shows the ability to be a satirist of high order, at times.
2/27/2013
Why Working at Home is a Lie
The CEO at Yahoo Marissa Mayer has ended the practice of "working at home" at the California headquarters and field offices. This reversal of a popular trend is raising the hackles of many layabouts and con artists who pretend to be working at home.
Everyone knows that you cannot get anything done at home.
Anyone who has tried doing administrative "office work" from home realizes that when no one is watching, you tend to be less effective in your use of time. The phone rings with non-business purposes. The neighbor sees your car in the driveway and drops by for coffee. If you have a window, you look out into the yard or street and darned if there isn't something more interesting out there than the boring report you are supposed to be working on.
Many working moms and dads claim that the flexibility of working at home permits them to avoid the stress of having to rely on daycare or babysitter. Fine,when the kids are infants, but we all know that it is impossible to get any office work done when there are toddlers running around, screaming and breaking stuff.
With the TV only a click away, there is a temptation to check the weather report, and then maybe a few breaking news headlines. Before you know it, you're watching "Judge Judy" or one of the many repeats of "How I married your Mother".
There are so many more distractions at home. You look up idly from your desk and see unfinished tasks everywhere. You decide to rearrange the bookcase, or replace that burned-out light bulb. Maybe you go out for a breath of air, while you're out, you may as well jump in the car, go to the market or even the library. Walk the dog, change the litterbox. Nap on the sofa, scan through the seed catalog that came in the mail. Check on car rental prices for your upcoming getaway trip...This is how the day goes when you are working at home.
News articles suggest that there have been studies that conclude that home workers are more productive. The only one I've seen cited, was done by Stanford University. They studied a group of Chinese Call Center workers. I would argue that such results for hourly workers whose every action is captured and measured, is not relevant to the American salaried work at home refugee from the cube farm.
Any who argues that they get more done, or that they actually spend more time working at home is delusional. They may be fooling themselves and maybe even the boss. But if they are honest, they know I'm right.
The exception to this rule: people who get paid for results - commissioned Salespeople, who can be counted on to be working no matter where they are. Or writers who get paid by the word. Most of these people goof-off much of their time at home, but they make up for it by being intensely productive under the pressure of a time deadline.
So, my advice is: Get back to the office and get something done.
Everyone knows that you cannot get anything done at home.
Anyone who has tried doing administrative "office work" from home realizes that when no one is watching, you tend to be less effective in your use of time. The phone rings with non-business purposes. The neighbor sees your car in the driveway and drops by for coffee. If you have a window, you look out into the yard or street and darned if there isn't something more interesting out there than the boring report you are supposed to be working on.
Many working moms and dads claim that the flexibility of working at home permits them to avoid the stress of having to rely on daycare or babysitter. Fine,when the kids are infants, but we all know that it is impossible to get any office work done when there are toddlers running around, screaming and breaking stuff.
With the TV only a click away, there is a temptation to check the weather report, and then maybe a few breaking news headlines. Before you know it, you're watching "Judge Judy" or one of the many repeats of "How I married your Mother".
There are so many more distractions at home. You look up idly from your desk and see unfinished tasks everywhere. You decide to rearrange the bookcase, or replace that burned-out light bulb. Maybe you go out for a breath of air, while you're out, you may as well jump in the car, go to the market or even the library. Walk the dog, change the litterbox. Nap on the sofa, scan through the seed catalog that came in the mail. Check on car rental prices for your upcoming getaway trip...This is how the day goes when you are working at home.
News articles suggest that there have been studies that conclude that home workers are more productive. The only one I've seen cited, was done by Stanford University. They studied a group of Chinese Call Center workers. I would argue that such results for hourly workers whose every action is captured and measured, is not relevant to the American salaried work at home refugee from the cube farm.
Any who argues that they get more done, or that they actually spend more time working at home is delusional. They may be fooling themselves and maybe even the boss. But if they are honest, they know I'm right.
The exception to this rule: people who get paid for results - commissioned Salespeople, who can be counted on to be working no matter where they are. Or writers who get paid by the word. Most of these people goof-off much of their time at home, but they make up for it by being intensely productive under the pressure of a time deadline.
So, my advice is: Get back to the office and get something done.
2/11/2013
Sensible Gun Ownership
Here in Massachusetts we have the most restrictive gun laws in the US. Our gun deaths per year are among the lowest in the nation. Opponents to gun control do not view this as a valid correlation, yet these same folks will readily cite "gun-friendly" statistical measures when it suits them. (I heard one gun enthusiast declare that recent mass shootings almost always occur in "gun free zones.")
I do not think of myself as "anti-gun". In fact, I like guns. Like most young teens, I got a kick out of shooting cans or bottles with an air rifle shooting BB's or pellets. Several times in my life, I have legally had my hands on a weapon that shoots real bullets. When I was in the Air Force, we had to learn how to shoot an M-1 carbine well enough to hit a target at 500 paces.
Some of my most favorite movie heroes are tough guys who are really good with guns. Dirty Harry, Quigley Down Under (Tom Sellick), who shot guys a mile away with his long rifle.
The Second Amendment
"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." - Bill of Rights
People who reject any form of government regulation regarding gun ownership interpret the wording of this bill literally. They say that the founding fathers were fearful of government over-reach. An armed populace was the counter balance to tyranny. It is a fundamental right of every citizen to own and carry a gun. Period.
The wording of the second amendment, (and many other parts of the Constitution) made perfect sense in 1791, but cannot be taken literally in 2013. It seems absurd to expect the Constitution to anticipate modern technology.
The Constitution is mute on the subject of automotive rights. There is no amendment stating specifically that the government has the power to regulate who can and cannot drive. Clearly, the founding fathers were not sufficiently perspicacious as to anticipate the proliferation of crazy motorists speeding down highways.
In 1790, the intent of the second amendment was to ensure the ability of citizens to take up arms against a tyrannical ruler. A validation of the revolutionary principles that created the free states.
Today, the word militia is usually applied to groups of domestic terrorists. The literal wording of the second amendment does not qualify which "arms" can be legally infringed. Yet, the government has sensibly outlawed automatic weapons, tanks and rocket launchers, bombs, grenades, mortars and flamethrowers. Would the founding fathers be shocked to learn that people's rights to possess these weapons of human destruction had been infringed? I think not.
Standing one's ground
I support the fundamental right of an individual to defend his home and property. I have no problem with the "Stand your ground" laws that have been enacted in some states. Why should victims be required to run away, rather than shoot the assailant who has entered uninvited through the door? I think the laws defining the legitimate use of lethal force should be changed to favor the intended victim rather than protecting the bad guys.This right does not extend universally to public places where innocent bystanders are at risk. We don't need a bunch of well-intentioned vigilantes pulling out weapons at a movie theater to thwart a suspect who may only be wielding a cap pistol.
Hunting
During the 1960's, I spent the better part of 4 years in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Most of the local civilian residents owned guns. Much of Wyoming is a big open space, with the Rocky Mountains just to the west. Virtually everyone hunted and/or fished it was natural to own a gun. The population was spread out. Nature - wild and beautiful - was in your backyard. Game was abundant. If you raised livestock, there were always predators to be dealt with.Like target shooting, game hunting was considered a skill challenge, using a bolt or lever-action rifle, double barreled shotgun or even a bow -- not a slaughter with semi-automatic weapons.
Being sensible
My take on sensible gun ownership is pretty mainstream. Individual locales should regulate gun ownership as they now do with alcohol.Guns are ok for sane honest citizens who like to shoot for sport or need a weapon for self defense. But no upstanding civilian needs a military style assault weapon or large capacity ammunition clip, or ground to air missiles.
2/03/2013
Superbowl Thoughts
The Filled Men
We are the filled men
We are the heavy men
We sit in our easy chairs
Gazes fixed at shadows
On a Hi Def screen
Our eyes, when they see
See scampering, like goats along a cliff face
Or rumbling herds on verdant flats.We shout - our voices
Booming like fireworks
Urging the motion,
Marveling at the synchrony of motion,
The endless scoring replay
The repetitive replay-play
In s l o w motion-play
Oslay otionmay
Replation
Our beer cans when empty echo
The forlorn sobs of busted plays
Dropped passes, fumbles,
Bad throws, broken tackles, lost bets…
This is the way the game ends
This is the way the game ends
Not with a touchdown
But a safety
1/07/2013
Social Media and Public Opinion
I have heard people say that social media - like Twitter and Facebook - actually has the power to shape public opinion. I think of these apps as toys -- a mere distraction for people with a smartphone and too much time on their hands.
I believe there is a huge difference between being entertained and being informed. Social media is primarily designed to be entertaining. I fully acknowledge that there are many posters on Facebook who think they are advancing an agenda by "sharing" information that they feel is vital. But these folks are largely deluding themselves into believing that others are in fact buying their point of view.
In Facebook and Twitter you really never know who is reading your stuff. I am convinced that I am not the only one who quietly "hides" the posts of people who habitually abuse their "friends" by bombarding them with repetitious affirmations of zeal - whether it is constant blathering about Climate change, Biblical quotations, or political rants, they are all mere expressions of faith being preached to an agreeable choir of fellow believers.
I am not decrying FB posts because they are empty, entertaining or ephemeral. My charge is that they do not shape public opinion. When was the last time you learned something on Facebook that changed your beliefs ?
Social media is a ME medium. Because everyone needs to know what you are doing and thinking every minute. Me. Me. Me.
Where else can a person of average writing skills communicate such vital thoughts, as :
"Boy, it is cold out there today." or
"Took Dad to dinner yesterday. He ordered meatloaf. It was a hoot."
"Hey everybody, just got back from vacation! Here are 120 great photos of our trip to Dayton, Ohio."
Rather than impacting public opinion, these applications enable people to feel that they are connected to others. By boasting oops I mean posting my vacation pics, it says look at me --I'm somebody. I have "friends." I go places. I'm cool.
Facebook is a perfect medium for this type of inane chatter. Your family is potentially interested in every meal and bathroom break, but the rest of us might discreetly "hide" your posts
Twitter is just another way for people to self-promote. If you follow any sort of organization you will be bombarded with multiple posts daily which are no more than commercials for that organization. News editors are the worst abusers of Twitter. It is not uncommon to see dozens of posts by some local editor each with a link to a story in today's edition. The police department posts inane announcements "On route to investigate report of barking dog on Elm St." Twitter is just one big Tease, because you can never get any useful information in 150 characters.
How About Blogs?
Blogs can be a different animal. Indeed, there are some pretty good writers who set out to inform you, nay to persuade you that you should believe what they believe. The unlimited format of text and image allows for an in-depth treatment of topic, and hyperlinks to reference sources can serve as powerful supporting material.I acknowledge that some of these folks are capable of writing in such a way as to actually change the way others think.
But, most writers of blogs are like me -- frustrated, self-absorbed wannabee writers who can't help themselves from opining on a disappointing and imperfect world. Writing is a recognized form of therapy. But most of us would admit that it is mostly for our own entertainment. Unlike the Political and Religious bloggers we do not expect to shape your thoughts or beliefs.
1/05/2013
Women on the Sideline
Last night, I tuned in to watch the Cotton Bowl on Fox. I did not have a favorite team in the Texas A&M vs Oklahoma contest, I just like to watch top college teams play football. Many of them will be future pro players, and it is fun to watch them while they are still playing for the fun and glory of the game, and not a big paycheck.I have previously commented on my feeling that most of the women sideline announcers are annoying. The announcer babes nearly always ask some dumb-assed question.
Last night the chick asks the coach "How did you prepare for this game..?" A typical vapid question. Almost as pithy as "How great is it to be in the Cotton Bowl?"
The problem was that the teams were lined-up for the kickoff. The viewers never got to see it. Not even a replay. The guys in the booth are stunned into silence. It was reminiscent of a high school presentation on local access TV, except the sound was better.
Check out the video [here] to see what I mean. The sideline announcer chick is clueless that the game has started -- and so, apparently, is the FOX control room director. After that shaky start, , the guys in the booth yakked mindlessly, and at times idiotically. They never mentioned the snafu, apparently assuming that most of the audience was in the bathroom when the game started.
The actual game was pretty interesting for the first half. Both teams use "hurry-up" offense so there was a minimum of huddling and standing around and quite a bit of action. At the Half, Texas was leading by only one point. As usual, viewers were inundated by ads ever time there was a break in the action. During one of these commercial breaks, I tuned into another show, and watched it until it had a commercial, then switched back to the game. This is how I spent the next hour or so, switching the channel at every commercial interruption.
I stopped watching the game in the 4th quarter when Texas had more than 40 points to Oklahoma's 13. The Heisman Trophy winner, Johnny Manziel played a great game for Texas. We are sure to see more of him in the NFL in coming years.
 |
| Cheerleaders -The only chicks we want to see on the sidelines :-) |
For the record, the only women I want to see or hear when I'm watching football are the half-naked cheerleaders.
In fact, I am really not interested in ANY interviews with athletes or coaches. We typically get zero useful or interesting information into anything from such dialogue. It's like watching interviews with politicians - you never get the honest truth.
1/02/2013
Annoyance Therapy
 |
| Memory device |
One section of the notebook is reserved for my list of annoyances. As you may have gathered, I find that I am annoyed by nearly everything - weather, barking dogs,horns honking, wet mail, rap music, traffic, insects, soggy pizza, anyone with a smartphone, people in audiences, dreadlocks, commercials... --the list is endless; I think you get the idea.
But, my genius is this: rather than letting annoying people and things drive me into grumpy irrelevance, I try to use annoyance as a creative force. I recognize that annoyance is merely a mild form of anger. Thus when something annoys me I do not let it control me. I do not shout and wave my arms. I write a poem, post a blog entry, or regale the person behind me in the line at Starbucks with my latest cynical observation**. By sharing these annoyances with others, I joyfully let them go. They do not own me. I am free of their evil spell.
My audience often rewards me with reinforcing affirmations of legitimacy. Sure, there are those few humorless, self important, smiley-faced, lemonade-making optimists who regard my complaints as the feeble protestations of an aged goat. (Get over it, Dude. Stuff happens.) I just add those people to my 'Annoying persons' list, where they are subjected to universal mockery and derision.
Some word usages that I think are annoying (Copied from Notepad notes):
Shocking - this word has become so over-used, especially in internet ads, as to render it meaningless. Apparently, the attention of a skimming reader is drawn to any sentence that has the word "shocking" in it.
The most absurd headline: "Shocking facts about weight loss!" takes you to the URL of a company that sells pills that are guaranteed to help you shed hundreds of milligrams.
Grab - "Let me grab you something to drink," says my waitress. Grab? What happened to "Can I bring you something?" Even Budweiser commercials have adopted the slogan "Grab some Buds." Maybe it's just me but grab has a slightly larcenous connotation.
Momentarily - "The doctor will be with you momentarily." Gee you mean he will step into the room for a split-second and then disappear? I know this one has been annoying pure English speakers for decades, but I still hear it often.
Ok that's enough for today. There is risk of self-analysis morphing into mere self-absorption. Especially on a cold day when you have no lunch plans.
============================================
Notes:
*Before I came upon the idea of the notebook I would jot notes on napkins, odd bits of paper, 3X5 cards, envelopes, etc. And I still have shoeboxes filled with the golden wisdom, hoarded in the basement. I really must check them out someday and copy the good ones into a notebook.
** Three bucks for a cup of coffee --Really?
1/01/2013
New Year Journal
I'm starting out the new year with good intentions:
1) to exercise,
2) to eat healthier foods, and
3) to be nicer to people who annoy me.
This year I am feeling more open to a new experiences. I signed-up for a Tai Chi class starting next week at the Council on Aging. I'm hoping that the ancient exercises will promote flexibility in the muscles and increase my sense of inner peace.
I sure hope this works-out better than the Yoga class I took last year. It was billed as "Beginner Yoga for Seniors." I was the only male in the class. I think I was younger than most of the ladies, but you never know with women over 50. None of us was "in shape." Clearly, we had all signed up expecting some magic to turn us back into the sleek slender sturdiness of our youth.
My own goal in taking last year's Yoga class was to achieve enough flexibility to be able to get-in and -out of the kayak that I bought on Craig's List the previous summer. To imagine the difficulty, sit on the floor and try to rise to your feet without using your hands. It is hard to do on land and virtually impossible to do in the water, when you are 70 lbs overweight. So I thought the Yoga would be a positive step towards stretching my stiffened joints and atrophied muscles back into some semblance of what the French would call souplesse.
After loyally attending 8 sessions, I concluded that Yoga isn't the right exercise for fat guys.
The exercises - even as modified for seniors - were more painful than invigorating. My chronic tendinitis of the left wrist returned and barked with agony whenever I put weight on it. Most of my joints just felt sore for several days after a session. By the eight week, I felt no better than I did when I started, so I skipped the last 2 sessions, and instead went to the pub for a couple of relaxing frosty pints. Looking back with honesty, I should admit that I never did the exercises between classes. It always seemed like too much trouble to get down on the floor because getting back up was painful. I am sure that daily practice would have been beneficial, and I have not discounted trying it again at some future time -- after I have lost 40 or 50 pounds.
(For the record I did get out in the kayak a few times this past summer. The outings were enjoyable, but I am still resolved to develop the ability to enter and exit the craft without getting drenched.)
Despite the earnest hope for a magical transformation that will restore the vitality and strength of my youth, my practical expectations for the Tai Chi class are modest.
As for my resolution to eat healthier foods, I have already begun to cut back or eliminate certain unhelpful foods from my diet. I have not eaten a french fry (or as the French would say pomme frite ) in three months. Bread, rice, pizza and pasta are rarely served at the evening meal. We have eliminated nearly all packaged processed foods. Portion sizes of meat have been halved, and servings of vegetables have been doubled. This is about all I have to say about the diet right now; I generally find the dietary musings of fat people to be boring and frankly, annoying. I'm sure you feel the same way. (Perhaps the details of my diet will be more interesting after I have lost 50 pounds.)
The last of my resolutions is to be nicer to people who annoy me. This will be a hard one to keep, since I find myself constantly annoyed by companies and organizations and the people who work for them. I am annoyed at the newspaper delivery guy for multiple crimes: Being late, letting my paper get wet, delivering when I'm on vacation hold, etc. The publishers of the Globe annoy me by printing on cheap curly paper, being unable to conceal a progressive bias, and constantly increasing the price of each edition, despite the lack of original news content. Airlines, phone companies, theaters, restaurants, HMO's - you get the idea: I find daily annoyances in my dealings with these institutions and the minions who face the public (ie, me).
Yet I have lately come to the realization that the annoyance is within me, and not in the intent of the annoying party. I now see that is the unrealistic expectation of perfection that causes annoyance. Annoying people are not trying to be annoying - they can't help it. They toss their papers on your wet lawn, nobly thinking, "I'm delivering the news." Dog walkers didn't pick-up that poop because they didn't realize that stepping in dogshit bothered you. The girl behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts didn't overfill your cup intentionally, she just doesn't understand English, so the words "Not too full." sound like "Fill that sucker to the brim!"
This year, none of this stuff will bother me. See, the inner peace thing is already working!
1) to exercise,
2) to eat healthier foods, and
3) to be nicer to people who annoy me.
This year I am feeling more open to a new experiences. I signed-up for a Tai Chi class starting next week at the Council on Aging. I'm hoping that the ancient exercises will promote flexibility in the muscles and increase my sense of inner peace. I sure hope this works-out better than the Yoga class I took last year. It was billed as "Beginner Yoga for Seniors." I was the only male in the class. I think I was younger than most of the ladies, but you never know with women over 50. None of us was "in shape." Clearly, we had all signed up expecting some magic to turn us back into the sleek slender sturdiness of our youth.
My own goal in taking last year's Yoga class was to achieve enough flexibility to be able to get-in and -out of the kayak that I bought on Craig's List the previous summer. To imagine the difficulty, sit on the floor and try to rise to your feet without using your hands. It is hard to do on land and virtually impossible to do in the water, when you are 70 lbs overweight. So I thought the Yoga would be a positive step towards stretching my stiffened joints and atrophied muscles back into some semblance of what the French would call souplesse.
After loyally attending 8 sessions, I concluded that Yoga isn't the right exercise for fat guys.
The exercises - even as modified for seniors - were more painful than invigorating. My chronic tendinitis of the left wrist returned and barked with agony whenever I put weight on it. Most of my joints just felt sore for several days after a session. By the eight week, I felt no better than I did when I started, so I skipped the last 2 sessions, and instead went to the pub for a couple of relaxing frosty pints. Looking back with honesty, I should admit that I never did the exercises between classes. It always seemed like too much trouble to get down on the floor because getting back up was painful. I am sure that daily practice would have been beneficial, and I have not discounted trying it again at some future time -- after I have lost 40 or 50 pounds.
(For the record I did get out in the kayak a few times this past summer. The outings were enjoyable, but I am still resolved to develop the ability to enter and exit the craft without getting drenched.)
Despite the earnest hope for a magical transformation that will restore the vitality and strength of my youth, my practical expectations for the Tai Chi class are modest.
As for my resolution to eat healthier foods, I have already begun to cut back or eliminate certain unhelpful foods from my diet. I have not eaten a french fry (or as the French would say pomme frite ) in three months. Bread, rice, pizza and pasta are rarely served at the evening meal. We have eliminated nearly all packaged processed foods. Portion sizes of meat have been halved, and servings of vegetables have been doubled. This is about all I have to say about the diet right now; I generally find the dietary musings of fat people to be boring and frankly, annoying. I'm sure you feel the same way. (Perhaps the details of my diet will be more interesting after I have lost 50 pounds.)
The last of my resolutions is to be nicer to people who annoy me. This will be a hard one to keep, since I find myself constantly annoyed by companies and organizations and the people who work for them. I am annoyed at the newspaper delivery guy for multiple crimes: Being late, letting my paper get wet, delivering when I'm on vacation hold, etc. The publishers of the Globe annoy me by printing on cheap curly paper, being unable to conceal a progressive bias, and constantly increasing the price of each edition, despite the lack of original news content. Airlines, phone companies, theaters, restaurants, HMO's - you get the idea: I find daily annoyances in my dealings with these institutions and the minions who face the public (ie, me).
Yet I have lately come to the realization that the annoyance is within me, and not in the intent of the annoying party. I now see that is the unrealistic expectation of perfection that causes annoyance. Annoying people are not trying to be annoying - they can't help it. They toss their papers on your wet lawn, nobly thinking, "I'm delivering the news." Dog walkers didn't pick-up that poop because they didn't realize that stepping in dogshit bothered you. The girl behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts didn't overfill your cup intentionally, she just doesn't understand English, so the words "Not too full." sound like "Fill that sucker to the brim!"
This year, none of this stuff will bother me. See, the inner peace thing is already working!
12/17/2012
Is the NRA a Terrorist Organization?
What force or reason would impel a person to take a gun and deliberately shoot helpless young children?
I suppose if you are God-fearing the answer is simpler - we didn't pray enough, so God stood aside while Evil caused the shooter to execute 26 innocent humans. It's ironic to hear the survivors' parents thanking God that their child was spared. How heartless that must sound to the relatives of the dead children that God did not protect.
The secular among us cannot be consoled by the simplistic explanations by religion. We don't believe that the shooter will burn for eternity in hell (much as that would be comforting to us), nor do we imagine 26 angel wings rising to spend eternity in paradise. It is pretty clear that the churches and temples of humans are empty and useless. No one is there to hear the supplications, songs and glory. Probably never has been.
Events like the shootings in Connecticut are proof that there is no divine intervention in the affairs of men.
It is pretty obvious that the deus ex machina allowing these mass killings is the access to weapons that are designed to shoot many rounds in a brief period of time. Call them semi-automatic or assault weapons - it is the same concept. These are not guns that are designed to shoot game or targets. They are weapons of warfare.
We have a gun problem in this country. The easy availability of guns and large quantities of ammunition is obviously a factor in the number of deaths. The idiotic interpretation of the 2nd amendment to the Constitution is that everyone is entitled to have guns period. Even if the congress mean't that everyone should have a rifle, it is doubtful that they envisioned a weapons technology more complex that a single shot musket.
Times have changed and so must the government's power to regulate weapons access in the name of public safety. I would support a repeal of the second amendment. I do not support a total ban on gun ownership.
Legitimate hunters and sportsmen would be licensed and permitted, but the weapons and ammo they could use would be highly controlled. Steel jacket, armor piercing, soft nose bullets, designed for killing people would be banned out side of military use. All semiautomatic pistols and rifles should be banned except for Military and Law Enforcement use.
Enforcement of such controls will not be popular with the gun-toting public. But I do not see another way to stem the frequency and brutality of murderous/suicidal crazoids armed with a gun that they should not have had access to. NRA fans have always been vigorously opposed to any restrictions on access to weapons less destructive than a bazooka. With over 10,000 gun deaths in the USA last year, we should probably label the enabling NRA as a terrorist organization.
I suppose if you are God-fearing the answer is simpler - we didn't pray enough, so God stood aside while Evil caused the shooter to execute 26 innocent humans. It's ironic to hear the survivors' parents thanking God that their child was spared. How heartless that must sound to the relatives of the dead children that God did not protect.
The secular among us cannot be consoled by the simplistic explanations by religion. We don't believe that the shooter will burn for eternity in hell (much as that would be comforting to us), nor do we imagine 26 angel wings rising to spend eternity in paradise. It is pretty clear that the churches and temples of humans are empty and useless. No one is there to hear the supplications, songs and glory. Probably never has been.
Events like the shootings in Connecticut are proof that there is no divine intervention in the affairs of men.
It is pretty obvious that the deus ex machina allowing these mass killings is the access to weapons that are designed to shoot many rounds in a brief period of time. Call them semi-automatic or assault weapons - it is the same concept. These are not guns that are designed to shoot game or targets. They are weapons of warfare.
We have a gun problem in this country. The easy availability of guns and large quantities of ammunition is obviously a factor in the number of deaths. The idiotic interpretation of the 2nd amendment to the Constitution is that everyone is entitled to have guns period. Even if the congress mean't that everyone should have a rifle, it is doubtful that they envisioned a weapons technology more complex that a single shot musket.
Times have changed and so must the government's power to regulate weapons access in the name of public safety. I would support a repeal of the second amendment. I do not support a total ban on gun ownership.
Legitimate hunters and sportsmen would be licensed and permitted, but the weapons and ammo they could use would be highly controlled. Steel jacket, armor piercing, soft nose bullets, designed for killing people would be banned out side of military use. All semiautomatic pistols and rifles should be banned except for Military and Law Enforcement use.
Enforcement of such controls will not be popular with the gun-toting public. But I do not see another way to stem the frequency and brutality of murderous/suicidal crazoids armed with a gun that they should not have had access to. NRA fans have always been vigorously opposed to any restrictions on access to weapons less destructive than a bazooka. With over 10,000 gun deaths in the USA last year, we should probably label the enabling NRA as a terrorist organization.
12/13/2012
The Government Should be Dissolved
All this posturing and drama over the threat of a government shutdown is just plain silly. Didn't voters think they were sending representatives to go down to Washington to keep things running, not to act like a bunch of schoolyard jerks arguing over who is more righteous.
The major parties are so polarized in their positions that they are unable to have a civil discussion. Call me cynical but it seems to me that the best explanation for this intransigence lies in the power of powerful lobbies that have pols in their pockets. Money elects politicians, citizens are just convenient tools, easily manipulated.
Think about it, why doesn't any administration republican or democrat do something about eliminating poverty? Why are our troops in Iraq when we have drug cartels on the border running drugs and poisoning our citizens, ruining people's lives, fostering robberies, kidnapping and general mayhem in our country.
How come banker crooks are allowed to virtually steal money in the form of exhorbitant fees using fine print instead of a gun..
We are headed towards the "Idiocracy" of Mike Judge's nightmare film.
While our leaders bicker over the tax rates of the top two percent of wage earners, the rest of the taxpayers are held hostage.
The major parties are so polarized in their positions that they are unable to have a civil discussion. Call me cynical but it seems to me that the best explanation for this intransigence lies in the power of powerful lobbies that have pols in their pockets. Money elects politicians, citizens are just convenient tools, easily manipulated.
Think about it, why doesn't any administration republican or democrat do something about eliminating poverty? Why are our troops in Iraq when we have drug cartels on the border running drugs and poisoning our citizens, ruining people's lives, fostering robberies, kidnapping and general mayhem in our country.
How come banker crooks are allowed to virtually steal money in the form of exhorbitant fees using fine print instead of a gun..
We are headed towards the "Idiocracy" of Mike Judge's nightmare film.
While our leaders bicker over the tax rates of the top two percent of wage earners, the rest of the taxpayers are held hostage.
11/21/2012
Simple Solutions
Now that the election is over and no one is really happy with the prospects of the next term, I am inspired to revive my campaign to be elected as Emperor of the USA -- a lifetime job. So here is my platform:
#1 I would decree a change
to the method of calculating interest on a loan. Use the same method banks use to pay interest
on savings, instead of loading all the interest charges up front. Banks still make money and people can afford
to borrow.
#2 I would get the Mafia to help run the Credit Card
companies. The practical way that loan
sharks handle collections is efficient and effective. Knowing that they would be getting a personal
visit from one of the Corleone agents would quickly reduce the number of
deadbeats and ID thieves. This would
lower the costs for those of you subjects who buy what you can afford and pay your
bills on a regular basis.
#3 How come it is called “price gouging” when gas stations
inflate prices to take advantage of demand, yet airlines are allowed to screw
the ticket buyers to a fare thee well? Why
is it called “torture” when suspects are detained and interrogated inhumanely,
yet airlines can force you to sit in a stalled plane for 8 hours?
It is time to
nationalize all airlines and institute a flat rate and eliminate traveler class
preference. All airline executives would
be forced to ride in the middle seat, with some un-bathed dude, sporting
dreadlocks, sitting in the seat front of them with the seat back tilted into
their confined space.
#4 Homeland security.
I would close all foreign bases and bring the troops home to guard our
borders, airports and inner cities. All
privately owned assault weapons will be confiscated and banned. Personal protection handguns would be allowed
for sane, upstanding citizens over the age of 55.
#5 Legalize Cell Phone Jamming devices. Public places and transportation vehicles
will install these devices, which breaks off any cell phone voice activity. Special waiting places will be assigned for
cell-phone talkers, smokers and also people who disdain normal standards of
personal hygiene. Bars and restaurants must
install Cell-Phone Booths to sequester the inconsiderate yakkers. The penalty for shooting cell phone abusers
will be reduced to a misdemeanor.
You have to admit that these policies would be a great start to a better society. I am open to other ideas. What are you thinking?
11/17/2012
Why the General Resigned
Some men are bearers
Of a yawning need
That mere success
Cannot fulfill.
A silent yearning in the mind waits
Like a virus until that day
When he hears like a siren
Her, calling his name.
She of smooth cheek,
A scent of bread and spice,
A curl of hair around a perfect lobe
A lilt in a dusky voice,
Her eyes wide with promise.
Utterly succumbed,
He thinks only of stroking
That smooth cheek.
Others may think him crazy
To forfeit everything for those brief,
Eternal moments of madness.
He appears contrite
But he does not feel sorry.
He had no choice.
Yesterday the ex-General and ex-CIA chief David Petraeus testified in closed session about the attack on the US ambassador in Libya last September 11th, which killed 4 Americans.
Conservative Republicans have been trying to make a big stinking issue out of the Benghazi attack and subsequent misinformation which was reported to the public.
McCain and others have suggested that the story that was presented to US mainstream media -- that the attacks grew spontaneously out of protests against an anti-Muslim video -- was a politically motivated plot to hide the truth. Talk show pundits allege that the government wanted to suppress any data that might suggest Al Qaeda was behind the attack. The purpose was to fluff-up Obama's reputation as a successful warrior against terrorism.
The foolishness of this accusation is obvious. It assumes that the Obama administration would rather be seen as ineptly under-staffing the embassy with protection from a rabble of random protesters than to acknowledge that Al Qaeda was behind the Sept 11 attack. But seizing on any opportunity to embarrass Obama, critics -- including Mitt Romney -- could not wait to make it seem like a dastardly plot to insulate Obama from blame in an evil plan to mis-inform the citizens. They irresponsibly leaked details of the attack, which would only serve to compromise intelligence sources and hinder the subsequent investigation.
Now, we hear that the general has testified that the CIA knew it was a terrorist attack within a day or so after the killings, but withheld the info to protect their informational assets, and not to tip-off Al Qaeda that they were watching them. This seems credible to me.
I have often heard that "The simpler explanation is more likely to be true than a complex one."
In this case, we see that the State Department decision to understaff the Embassy resulted in an un-necessary loss of life and destruction of property. The simplest explanation: government bureaucracy and ineptitude allowed the situation to get out of control.
The subsequent politicizing of the event by conservatives is unworthy of people who call themselves patriots.
Conservative Republicans have been trying to make a big stinking issue out of the Benghazi attack and subsequent misinformation which was reported to the public.
McCain and others have suggested that the story that was presented to US mainstream media -- that the attacks grew spontaneously out of protests against an anti-Muslim video -- was a politically motivated plot to hide the truth. Talk show pundits allege that the government wanted to suppress any data that might suggest Al Qaeda was behind the attack. The purpose was to fluff-up Obama's reputation as a successful warrior against terrorism.
The foolishness of this accusation is obvious. It assumes that the Obama administration would rather be seen as ineptly under-staffing the embassy with protection from a rabble of random protesters than to acknowledge that Al Qaeda was behind the Sept 11 attack. But seizing on any opportunity to embarrass Obama, critics -- including Mitt Romney -- could not wait to make it seem like a dastardly plot to insulate Obama from blame in an evil plan to mis-inform the citizens. They irresponsibly leaked details of the attack, which would only serve to compromise intelligence sources and hinder the subsequent investigation.
Now, we hear that the general has testified that the CIA knew it was a terrorist attack within a day or so after the killings, but withheld the info to protect their informational assets, and not to tip-off Al Qaeda that they were watching them. This seems credible to me.
I have often heard that "The simpler explanation is more likely to be true than a complex one."
In this case, we see that the State Department decision to understaff the Embassy resulted in an un-necessary loss of life and destruction of property. The simplest explanation: government bureaucracy and ineptitude allowed the situation to get out of control.
The subsequent politicizing of the event by conservatives is unworthy of people who call themselves patriots.
11/03/2012
Losing Focus
Is it just me, or does anyone else think football players wearing pink shoes is the silliest expression of "support" imaginable?
What has football got to do with any disease? And why does breast cancer evoke more visible support than lung cancer or colon cancer? Or dementia, which is the disease of aging football players?
The whole Breast Cancer Awareness theme thing just strikes me as absurd. Is anyone NOT aware of breast cancer? Has anyone been helped by all this awareness?
If the money that has been spent on pink apparel went into research, instead of spent on all all this feelgood "awareness" stuff, a cure might be closer to reality.
10/31/2012
The Zen of Grill Assembly
"How hard can it be?" may seem at first like a Buddhist koan, and I know from experience that the gods who like to smack down the dreams of prideful mortals often have a way of answering that query with a resounding "very."
Still, you think to yourself, they sell millions of gas grills online and other people seem to be able put them together, it must be easy enough that a guy of average intelligence and pluck can be successful.
Because I always read the manual first, the next thing I did was to read the manual.
The tool list was simple, but I added an essential item that the engineers had omitted: a beer bottle opener.
I was impressed with the clarity of instructions and the organized and labelled packets of screws and washers. All the parts needed to assemble the "A" process were in a bag labelled "A"
The instructions were mostly graphic illustrations, probably designed for verbally challenged individuals. What about those of us that are graphically challenged?
So it took a few hours, but I am very pleased with the results. If I can do it, so can you!
Simple Rules
1. Read the manual.
2. Get the right tools.
3. Have at least 2 beers in fridge, preferably a six-pack.
4. Put the mother together
5 Grill something.
Still, you think to yourself, they sell millions of gas grills online and other people seem to be able put them together, it must be easy enough that a guy of average intelligence and pluck can be successful.
Well, I was right about that. But first lets recap.
I had decided on the Weber 3 burner Spirit E-310
I bought it online at Home Depot for $499 plus tax, free shipping.
I figured it would be a challenge; but, what the hell, I have plenty of time. It might even be fun.
When it arrived via UPS, I apologized to the driver as she wrangled the large (135 lb) box off the truck onto a two wheeler. I unpacked the parts and instructions and set everything out on the screen porch.
Because I always read the manual first, the next thing I did was to read the manual.The tool list was simple, but I added an essential item that the engineers had omitted: a beer bottle opener.
 |
| Letsee now, |
The instructions were mostly graphic illustrations, probably designed for verbally challenged individuals. What about those of us that are graphically challenged?
 |
| Starting to look like a grill |
After a while, things start to take shape. I am impressed with the solid engineering. I still need to get it outside, so I save the cover and grills for last so it will be easier to take down the step to the patio.
 |
| Ready to take outside to add heavy parts |
 |
| Ta Da! |
 |
| Honey, get the steaks out! |
Simple Rules
1. Read the manual.
2. Get the right tools.
3. Have at least 2 beers in fridge, preferably a six-pack.
4. Put the mother together
5 Grill something.
10/11/2012
Seasonal Thoughts
Autumn
Today is typical of the interval
the period between summer and winter
In the northeast
Sun slanting from the south
Illuminating falling pine needles
Cloudless blue and gusty skies
Rattling shoals of maple leaves that can't
make up their minds which way to scatter
Now swirling down the driveway
and then darting up the street
a school of fish fleeing a predator
I survey the remains of the garden:
The recent rains and winds have
bent the stalks of tall marigolds into submission,
orange and yellow blossoms shriveled and dead in the slanted sun
Frost blackened stems of basil beg to be pulled-up and
thrown on the heap
My gaze turns to that brown patch of earth
looking like a newly dug grave
because of some unknown rot
that turned the fruits gray and mooshy
I had to yank the tomato vines last week
in frustration and throw them in the trash
-- not the compost heap so as not
to contaminate next year's crop
I sit for a long time on the teak bench,
unwarmed by the weak sun
Hoping to gather the strength
to face another winter
How many has it been? How many yet to be?
I try to envision another hopeful spring
but the image is blurry and lacking in color.
Today is typical of the interval
the period between summer and winter
In the northeast
Sun slanting from the south
Illuminating falling pine needles
Cloudless blue and gusty skies
Rattling shoals of maple leaves that can't
make up their minds which way to scatter
Now swirling down the driveway
and then darting up the street
a school of fish fleeing a predator
I survey the remains of the garden:
The recent rains and winds have
bent the stalks of tall marigolds into submission,
orange and yellow blossoms shriveled and dead in the slanted sun
Frost blackened stems of basil beg to be pulled-up and
thrown on the heap
My gaze turns to that brown patch of earth
looking like a newly dug grave
because of some unknown rot
that turned the fruits gray and mooshy
I had to yank the tomato vines last week
in frustration and throw them in the trash
-- not the compost heap so as not
to contaminate next year's crop
I sit for a long time on the teak bench,
unwarmed by the weak sun
Hoping to gather the strength
to face another winter
How many has it been? How many yet to be?
I try to envision another hopeful spring
but the image is blurry and lacking in color.
9/24/2012
Why I am Giving-Up Sunday Night Football
It's not just that The Patriots lost the game to Baltimore on a last-minute field goal. It's not because of replacement referees calling phantom penalties. And since I am retired, I do not have to get up for work on a Monday morning, so it isn't because the game - which takes 3 plus hours - requires viewers to stay up until midnight or later.
No, gentle readers, the reason I am giving-up Sunday Night Football is because the games are no longer interesting enough to justify the time spent watching them. Granted there are often moments when the contests are exciting, even thrilling to football fans, but these moments are few.
I blame it on the greed of networks and players and management, which have combined to deliver to TV viewers an empty spectacle of hype and players and coaches mainly standing around or lying on the ground. These scenes of inactivity are punctuated by an astounding number of commercial breaks, or sideline interviews with know-nothing announcer chicks asking empty-headed questions to bored coaches and players. In my humble opinion the games would be much more interesting if the showed more close-ups on the agreeably buxom, scantily-clad cheerleaders, instead of shots of Al Michaels and the other guy in the booth.
Big money has turned what once was an enjoyable past-time into a hard slog. Money driven disputes over contracts have given us inexperienced officials, which has contributed to a general lack of confidence in the fairness of penalty flags. Both Patriot losses came directly from bogus penalty calls, which clearly affected the outcome of the games. And last night's winning field goal did not look "in" to almost everyone who watched it. But the NFL has warned coaches and announcers not to remark on the ineptness of referees. We might as well be living in Russia. Clearly, no one who is getting paid gives a crap about the integrity of sport or fairness.
You already know how I feel about commercial interruptions, which destroy the sense of flow in a sporting event on TV. It is not enough for them to make us look at advertising all over the walls and playing fields and in the skies, we are assailed by advertising messages it seems every other play, sometimes they will call a referee's time-out forcing a commercial break in the game.
I have had enough. Sunday nights, from now on, I'll be clicking over to Masterpiece Theater on PBS.
No, gentle readers, the reason I am giving-up Sunday Night Football is because the games are no longer interesting enough to justify the time spent watching them. Granted there are often moments when the contests are exciting, even thrilling to football fans, but these moments are few.
I blame it on the greed of networks and players and management, which have combined to deliver to TV viewers an empty spectacle of hype and players and coaches mainly standing around or lying on the ground. These scenes of inactivity are punctuated by an astounding number of commercial breaks, or sideline interviews with know-nothing announcer chicks asking empty-headed questions to bored coaches and players. In my humble opinion the games would be much more interesting if the showed more close-ups on the agreeably buxom, scantily-clad cheerleaders, instead of shots of Al Michaels and the other guy in the booth.
Big money has turned what once was an enjoyable past-time into a hard slog. Money driven disputes over contracts have given us inexperienced officials, which has contributed to a general lack of confidence in the fairness of penalty flags. Both Patriot losses came directly from bogus penalty calls, which clearly affected the outcome of the games. And last night's winning field goal did not look "in" to almost everyone who watched it. But the NFL has warned coaches and announcers not to remark on the ineptness of referees. We might as well be living in Russia. Clearly, no one who is getting paid gives a crap about the integrity of sport or fairness.
You already know how I feel about commercial interruptions, which destroy the sense of flow in a sporting event on TV. It is not enough for them to make us look at advertising all over the walls and playing fields and in the skies, we are assailed by advertising messages it seems every other play, sometimes they will call a referee's time-out forcing a commercial break in the game.
I have had enough. Sunday nights, from now on, I'll be clicking over to Masterpiece Theater on PBS.
8/27/2012
Notes from the Lagging Edge
God help me. Now the cat has a new smartphone. I told him that he couldn't afford it, but he went and got one anyhow. He says, "All the other cats have one. Why can't I have one. I want to be cool, too."He says he got a good deal on an iPhone 4. He's already downloaded an ringtone that sounds like a small rodent trying to escape.
He's already staring to behave like the other addicted smartphone users you know. Whenever he enters a room, he puts it on the floor in front of him so he wont - god forbid - miss an incoming email message or tweet. If you say something like "I wonder if I should go fishing tomorrow..." he is tapping away, checking the weather and tide tables for you, making you look at the display.
This is the thing about people with new gadgets: they make you to look at them. Those of us who are un-enamored by technology toys cannot understand why squinting at a tiny screen is so enchanting. "I feel so connected, now," he purrs, after entering the password for our wireless router. "I don't need the computer anymore. Did you know I can deposit checks with this thing?" I decided not to remind him that he does not have a bank account, nor does he receive any checks. "Who gets checks these days?" I mumble.
But the point is lost on him, enthralled as he is - because his gadget has empowered him beyond all reason. He can now do stuff that he would never even think of doing. How did he exist before angry birds? Who even dreamed of playing solitaire on their phone? I despair over the irony: he is more connected to the cloud, and more dis-connected from the household. He is spared the awkwardness of polite conversation. His ego is defined my the newness of his device. I taunt him by speculating that the reason that he got a good deal is because everyone else is waiting for the iPhone5 to come out. Cruel, but fun.
OK kitty, I am happy that you can look up all the local restaurants within three blocks. Yes, it is truly impressive that your smartphone can be used as a compass or a flash light or a magnifying glass --stuff we all need everyday, I'm sure.
Ok, now put it away and let's talk.
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