Nineteen degrees Fahrenheit at high noon today. It is amazing that human beings can even survive in this climate, let alone choose to live here during the Winter.
OK, maybe we are just a tad spoiled by the short 9 day Florida getaway. We have discussed our options for the future and have made a firm decision to extend our visit to the southern climes to a month or even six weeks next winter. By that time, neither of us expects to have the interference of full time jobs to encumber us.
Note to the kids: Don't worry. We are not on the verge of putting the family home up for sale, heading South to spend your inheritance on a lavish beachfront mansion with an expensive cabin cruiser moored at our private dock. We have not even entertained those thoughts - honestly!
Of course, no one would blame us if we were thinking about it - which I assure you we have not. At our age, Winter is no longer a friend. The days when we anticipated fluffy snow fallen slopes and frozen ponds upon which to glide and carve have given way to aches and pains, tender epidermis, sore backs and joints; and a deep loathing for the cold arid arctic blasts.
These days, we skip the daily walk and stay warmly inside the house when the weather turns nasty. On frigid days like this, we tremble at the thought of slipping on the ice and shattering our increasingly brittle bones*; we are haunted by visions of helpless hospitalization, followed by a long recuperation punctuated by innumerable visits to an overwhelming array of health care specialists - for xrays, physical therapy, counseling for depression, acupuncture, rabies shots (just in case...). Also there are the predictable and prolonged haggling with health care insurance providers over co-pays and the costs of approved tier medications.
Even worse, we dread the thought of having the mailman or some un-invited visitor slip and fall in our driveway and sue us for all we are worth. So, I find myself going out in the middle of winter blizzards, shoveling the wet snow, ignoring the shortness of breath, the numbing left arm and burning chest pains - because the driveway must be cleared before the storm turns to rain and freezes into a sheet of slick cement. Despite the symptoms of a possible heart attack, I risk frostbite and even death to avoid the possibility of being sued into poverty.
There are no longer any kids in the neighborhood who would even think of shoveling your walk for less than $50. (I do not have a line item on my budget for such extravagance. What do I look like, Governor De Ville?) Even if we were willing to deplete our lifetime savings for such labors, we could not find a willing worker. These days kids don't need to earn money. Many of them wear sneakers that cost more than the 1950 Chevy I bought back in 1960. In my day, we would shovel all day in our sneakers and tee shirt to earn $3). Kids are not allowed to go door to door soliciting anymore because - thanks to reality shows on TV - we now know that every household on your street contains at least one raving lunatic, drug addict, sex offender, witch or lawyer. Too dangerous for kids to approach without a parental overseer.
Given the life-threatening dangers of occupying a 3 bedroom house in suburban Boston during the Winter, it would perhaps not be un-thinkable for a couple who have worked hard all of their lives, stayed out of jail, and accumulated a small nest egg to support them in their elder years – might dream of finding a nice warm haven to rest their increasingly fragile bones* far away from the vile winds of winter.
But we are Yankees who were raised to believe in thrift and parsimony. Don’t worry, kids. Rather than spending your inheritance on lavish personal amenities, we will just persevere here in frigid New England, subsisting on cold cereal mixed with melted snow, spending our days watching Court TV and Jerry Springer. It could be worse: At least we don't live in Dayton, Ohio**.
What we should all be worried about is global freezing, and whether they will ever bury poor Anna Nicole Smith?
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*This danger is highlighted by several advertisers of nightly news programs.
**Dayton, Ohio is alleged by my sister-in-law, who lived there for several years, to be the "least desirable place to live on this entire planet."
2/19/2007
2/17/2007
A Miserable Conspiracy
We were among the lucky Jet Blue passengers who were able to board our scheduled flights today - an hour late, but most of us were just happy that the flight wasn't cancelled altogether.
I noticed that the Jet Blue personnel were exceedingly communicative today. I think they are frightened by the prospect of a consumer revolt after the Valentine's Day strandings. The terminals were probably swarming with Lawyers looking to sign people up for class action suits.
The standard airline customer service normally consists of conscious and assertive with-holding any useful information. Hey why bother? As long as all the airlines do it they can force the customers to actually vie with one another for one of three hundred seats that are too small for anyone who is bigger than the average circus dwarf.
I'm surprised they haven't come up with a reality show pitting travelers against one another racing and physically attacking one another to win a cramped seat near one of the working toilets. No wonder there have not been any more terrorist attacks by plane. The Imams think it is cruel and unusual to force someone to travel by commercial air liner as a prerequisite to get to paradise and the 72 virgins.
Every time I travel I am reminded of how awful the system is. The Security checkpoints make you want to laugh or cry hysterically because they are a microcosm of our general attitude toward safety. One guy had a bomb in his shoe 5 years ago, and we still have to take off our sneakers to get through security. Little old lady nuns are being felt-up by high school drop outs and probable illegal immigrants (swarthy people of dubious citizenship with accents so heavy that you cannot understand their questions or instructions)who seem to be the only people who will work for TSA at $8.50 an hour. Thank you, Homeland security. Boy I feel safer, don't you?
The American attitude toward safety is hysterical. A small fraction of kids are seriously allergic to nuts; so all preschoolers in the building are forbidden to bring peanut butter sandwiches. Some klutz's bang their heads and now everyone is required to wear helmets. Next thing you will hear that a couple of birds got sick and we will shut down Canada to keep the geese out, declaring war if they try to invade. We are an insane society, driven by fear mongers, content-challenged news programs, and a poor understanding of risk.
I think the airline industry generally sells misery. I know this because they admit that the seats are not big enough, most of them enforce class discrimination which leads to envy and hatred, they lie about their on time performance, the food, if they have any, sucks and they force us all to get sick if anyone on the plane is sick. Check out the salaries of Airline Execs. They make more than the President of Scotland.
But in the Tampa airport today, the Jet Blue people today were all about setting expectations. They had actual people on the counter today instead of those self service check-in machines where the customer does the work and the counter people just check your id and slap bar coded stickers on your luggage. They kept us informed of the progress of the flight that was delayed in leaving NYC - the one that would take us to Boston. One we got on board, they kept interrupting the TV programs to tell us how glad they were that we chose to fly on Jet Blue.
I was surprised that no one has yet given one good reason why they kept all those people on the tarmac on Wednesday for 8 hours or more, with no fresh air, no food, 3 bathrooms for 300 people, etc.
Unconscionable. I think if I had been on one of those flights, I would surely be in jail tonight.
I noticed that the Jet Blue personnel were exceedingly communicative today. I think they are frightened by the prospect of a consumer revolt after the Valentine's Day strandings. The terminals were probably swarming with Lawyers looking to sign people up for class action suits.
The standard airline customer service normally consists of conscious and assertive with-holding any useful information. Hey why bother? As long as all the airlines do it they can force the customers to actually vie with one another for one of three hundred seats that are too small for anyone who is bigger than the average circus dwarf.
I'm surprised they haven't come up with a reality show pitting travelers against one another racing and physically attacking one another to win a cramped seat near one of the working toilets. No wonder there have not been any more terrorist attacks by plane. The Imams think it is cruel and unusual to force someone to travel by commercial air liner as a prerequisite to get to paradise and the 72 virgins.
Every time I travel I am reminded of how awful the system is. The Security checkpoints make you want to laugh or cry hysterically because they are a microcosm of our general attitude toward safety. One guy had a bomb in his shoe 5 years ago, and we still have to take off our sneakers to get through security. Little old lady nuns are being felt-up by high school drop outs and probable illegal immigrants (swarthy people of dubious citizenship with accents so heavy that you cannot understand their questions or instructions)who seem to be the only people who will work for TSA at $8.50 an hour. Thank you, Homeland security. Boy I feel safer, don't you?
The American attitude toward safety is hysterical. A small fraction of kids are seriously allergic to nuts; so all preschoolers in the building are forbidden to bring peanut butter sandwiches. Some klutz's bang their heads and now everyone is required to wear helmets. Next thing you will hear that a couple of birds got sick and we will shut down Canada to keep the geese out, declaring war if they try to invade. We are an insane society, driven by fear mongers, content-challenged news programs, and a poor understanding of risk.
I think the airline industry generally sells misery. I know this because they admit that the seats are not big enough, most of them enforce class discrimination which leads to envy and hatred, they lie about their on time performance, the food, if they have any, sucks and they force us all to get sick if anyone on the plane is sick. Check out the salaries of Airline Execs. They make more than the President of Scotland.
But in the Tampa airport today, the Jet Blue people today were all about setting expectations. They had actual people on the counter today instead of those self service check-in machines where the customer does the work and the counter people just check your id and slap bar coded stickers on your luggage. They kept us informed of the progress of the flight that was delayed in leaving NYC - the one that would take us to Boston. One we got on board, they kept interrupting the TV programs to tell us how glad they were that we chose to fly on Jet Blue.
I was surprised that no one has yet given one good reason why they kept all those people on the tarmac on Wednesday for 8 hours or more, with no fresh air, no food, 3 bathrooms for 300 people, etc.
Unconscionable. I think if I had been on one of those flights, I would surely be in jail tonight.
2/14/2007
More Beach Notes
Sarasota - Valentines Day
Fortunately, I was prepared for the day. I had bought a nice card and the traditional heart-shaped box of chocolates. Another potential Hallmark disaster averted.
Aol had featured the list of the 10 worst Valentine gifts - eg a close up photo of one's pride and joy, an ironing board, a coupon for $5 off an oil change. I was feeling pretty smug, I admit it. I am well past such ill-thought-out tokens of affection.
It was a beautiful day here at the beach, following last night's rain. I was up at 7:15, awakening from a realistic dream, where I was being hunted by gangsters who had mistaken me for some shmuck who owed them money. It was a case of mistaken identity, but there was a sense of terror when I realized that the fellows who had come to beat the snot out of me were totally uninterested in whether I was the perp or not. Some one needed to be beat-up, and the boss "did not like excuses." They got the same pay no matter who they beat-up. When I asserted that real bad guy would eventually have to be beat-up when the mistake was cleared up, and Mr. Big would be unhappy, they just laughed. Just as the big guy was putting on his enforcer gloves, I woke up with a bead of perspiration on my brow. I was relieved to see the beach our of the window, and the sun showing pink in the eastern sky.
Throughout my morning ablutions, I kept thinking about how bureaucratic the mob was. Inefficient too.
Later, I was able to get in a swim in the ocean. The water is about 62 degrees - kind of chilly but tolerable. The weather for the next two days is forecast to be colder, so that it most likely the end of swimming. Tonight I had to wear a long sleeved shirt. Brr. Tomorrow we will take the rental car and do some exploring. With the GPS system we can find anything.
Fortunately, I was prepared for the day. I had bought a nice card and the traditional heart-shaped box of chocolates. Another potential Hallmark disaster averted.
Aol had featured the list of the 10 worst Valentine gifts - eg a close up photo of one's pride and joy, an ironing board, a coupon for $5 off an oil change. I was feeling pretty smug, I admit it. I am well past such ill-thought-out tokens of affection.
It was a beautiful day here at the beach, following last night's rain. I was up at 7:15, awakening from a realistic dream, where I was being hunted by gangsters who had mistaken me for some shmuck who owed them money. It was a case of mistaken identity, but there was a sense of terror when I realized that the fellows who had come to beat the snot out of me were totally uninterested in whether I was the perp or not. Some one needed to be beat-up, and the boss "did not like excuses." They got the same pay no matter who they beat-up. When I asserted that real bad guy would eventually have to be beat-up when the mistake was cleared up, and Mr. Big would be unhappy, they just laughed. Just as the big guy was putting on his enforcer gloves, I woke up with a bead of perspiration on my brow. I was relieved to see the beach our of the window, and the sun showing pink in the eastern sky.
Throughout my morning ablutions, I kept thinking about how bureaucratic the mob was. Inefficient too.
Later, I was able to get in a swim in the ocean. The water is about 62 degrees - kind of chilly but tolerable. The weather for the next two days is forecast to be colder, so that it most likely the end of swimming. Tonight I had to wear a long sleeved shirt. Brr. Tomorrow we will take the rental car and do some exploring. With the GPS system we can find anything.
2/11/2007
Beach notes
Sarasota, Florida - Lido Key
We just came back from a leisurely dinner at Cafe Baci - a fabulous Italian Restaurant where they make their own pasta and the red sauce is the best I've ever tasted. The veal Parmigiana was excellent and I could barely finish the cheese cake with macadamia nuts and coconut. My wife could not finish her eggplant P. We has a delightful dinner and the bill was around $55. Not bad. Kind of makes you want to spend more time in places where you can have an excellent dining experience but not feel that you got rooked. A glass of nice red wine would have enhanced the meal, but we have resigned ourselves to sticking out the non drinking thing for another 6 months.
The rental car has one of those Magellan GPS navigation systems, which has been a great thing to have. Yesterday we drove up to St. Petersburg to visit a friend who had recently moved down here from Boston. The GPS got us to her parking lot without a hitch. Goodbye Mapquest hello GPS.
The weather has been great. Everyday has been sunny and warm. It is a bit chilly during our early morning beach stroll, so we are forced to wear our sweatshirts - at least on the way out. On the way back the warming sun invites us to shed a layer. By the time we emerge from late breakfast, it feels hot in a tee shirt. I slather myself with sp30 and sit on the balcony to read. An afternoon breeze kicks up, ruffling the ocean and bringing a nice cooling relief from the baking 74 degree sun.
After the afternoon nap, we emerge to forage for dinner. So far we have found willing purveyors of victuals and potable liquids, which they are willing to exchange for a piece of plastic.
We have been keeping up with the important news (eg, the Anna Nicole Smith story - another example how 24 hour news coverage can contain almost zero factual information.) We watch the weather forecast hoping to hear of a blizzard back home so we can enjoy our balmy slothfulness just a smidgen more.
OK I know, this blog is supposed to be about work issues... so here is my Zen observation of the day. As we walked the beach this morning, I noticed that there were impressions made by people who had also walked along the shore this morning.
It reminded me of the workplace. Where the marks that people make, last about as long as the next wave, or at best the next change of tide. All the time we spend, thinking our work is important - and maybe it is, for a moment, then, splash.
2/08/2007
Climactic Induced Journeys
This morning in Boston, it is colder than a witch's you-know-what. Twenty degrees with a brisk wind, with a wind chill factor of "Too Cold to Go Outside." I think it is worse in upstate New York and back in Chicago.
Today, we will venture forth, however, because we have airplane reservations and there is a rental car waiting for us in Tampa, Florida.
Please don't view this as gloating, but as a heartfelt expression of hope that those of you who are stuck going to the office will "Have a nice day, freeze-ass."
Actually, you frigid stay-at-homes can take comfort in the knowledge that the temps in Sarasota have dropped sharply. The 3 day forecast is for daytime temps that are barely over 70 degrees. This is only a 40 degree delta! So, we will probably have a lousy time, lazing on the warm balcony, gazing at the pristine beach, reading a leisurely novel or quaffing a refreshing iced tea. Should we venture to the beach, I am sure that the incessant squawking of sea fowl will disturb us, and those scantily clad young females that often infest the beach will serve-up their usual annoying distractions.
We sincerely hope the weather in the Northeast improves, since we have to keep the house heated (for the cats) and I could use a little break on heating costs, to help make up for the daily restaurant breakfasts, fried grouper sandwiches with lobster bisque at lunch and expensive fine dinners.
Oh and not to forget the fresh squeezed Florida orange juice - chilled, but not frozen.
:-)
Today, we will venture forth, however, because we have airplane reservations and there is a rental car waiting for us in Tampa, Florida.
Please don't view this as gloating, but as a heartfelt expression of hope that those of you who are stuck going to the office will "Have a nice day, freeze-ass."
Actually, you frigid stay-at-homes can take comfort in the knowledge that the temps in Sarasota have dropped sharply. The 3 day forecast is for daytime temps that are barely over 70 degrees. This is only a 40 degree delta! So, we will probably have a lousy time, lazing on the warm balcony, gazing at the pristine beach, reading a leisurely novel or quaffing a refreshing iced tea. Should we venture to the beach, I am sure that the incessant squawking of sea fowl will disturb us, and those scantily clad young females that often infest the beach will serve-up their usual annoying distractions.
We sincerely hope the weather in the Northeast improves, since we have to keep the house heated (for the cats) and I could use a little break on heating costs, to help make up for the daily restaurant breakfasts, fried grouper sandwiches with lobster bisque at lunch and expensive fine dinners.
Oh and not to forget the fresh squeezed Florida orange juice - chilled, but not frozen.
:-)
2/02/2007
Following Orders
In light of my recent brush with the Law, readers have been flooding my inbox, wondering if I am some sort of anti-American anarchist scofflaw. Let me set the record straight.
It is true that I'm not good at following orders that don't make sense to me. This trait has dogged me since I was in junior high school, when I decided that History and Algebra were areas of learning that were too boring to spend any unnecessary time on.
This unwillingness to accept unreasonable authority also got me in trouble when I was in the US Air Force, where I was almost busted for ignoring a stupid order of a (drunken) Master Sergent who thought it would be entertaining to have me shine his boots.
I suspect that most of my former managers would assert that my failure to internalize marching orders has been responsible for those not-so-scintillating performance reviews that I received as an employee. Most former bosses probably saw me as a prima donna who could not be counted-on to march to the beat of the bosses drum. I believe that even the most critical of them would (reluctantly) admit that I did good work, but it was only on projects that were my idea. My inability to meet arbitrary deadlines is well documented in the secret files of the Human Resources Departments of my ex-companies.
I wish this rebellious streak could be attributed to some inner courage, or artistic nature; but I sometimes think I am simply burdened with an overdeveloped sense of right and wrong. This, in addition to the Irish and Dutch genes that comprise the biggest part of my DNA, generates an eerie obstinacy that goes well beyond "just plain stubborn." In the right environment, stubborn righteousness might be viewed in a positive light, even seen as a wondrous gift, but alas, I have yet to find such an environment.
The truth is: I have no difficulty following rules that make sense. I believe in mandatory auto liability insurance, dog leash laws, and noise ordinances. In the workplace, I subscribe to rules that benefit the organization such as being on time for meetings and not stealing copier toner cartridges. I also believe that paying one's just share of taxes and not making loud noise are examples of laws that benefit the community - even though they might attenuate the personal pleasure of some individuals.
So, there you go: I do believe in laws and rules. They make civilization possible, after all. Without rules, you cannot play games, conduct business or fight battles.
Furthermore, I agree that the Boss has the power to create and enforce rules. When a rule or directive passes the sniff test of my infallible sense of right and wrong I agree to be subject to it. If not, I generally exempt myself from it.
If I cannot see the benefit or purpose in an order - or, worse - if I question the motives of the rule-giver, then my Dutch-Irish kicks-in with full throttle.
I have frequently observed that rules are often made by little tyrants - just because they have the power, and find entertainment in making subordinates run around - much the way a small boy enjoys disturbing an anthill.
John Kerry might still be a candidate for president if he had only told the students, "Study hard or you could end-up getting stuck wearing a Mickee Dees uniform taking orders for fries and burgers -- or worse, end-up brown-nosing some fat bastard ego-maniac."
I wish somebody had told me that back during the botched joke that was my high school study hall behavior - when I was not studying History and Algebra.
It is true that I'm not good at following orders that don't make sense to me. This trait has dogged me since I was in junior high school, when I decided that History and Algebra were areas of learning that were too boring to spend any unnecessary time on.
This unwillingness to accept unreasonable authority also got me in trouble when I was in the US Air Force, where I was almost busted for ignoring a stupid order of a (drunken) Master Sergent who thought it would be entertaining to have me shine his boots.
I suspect that most of my former managers would assert that my failure to internalize marching orders has been responsible for those not-so-scintillating performance reviews that I received as an employee. Most former bosses probably saw me as a prima donna who could not be counted-on to march to the beat of the bosses drum. I believe that even the most critical of them would (reluctantly) admit that I did good work, but it was only on projects that were my idea. My inability to meet arbitrary deadlines is well documented in the secret files of the Human Resources Departments of my ex-companies.
I wish this rebellious streak could be attributed to some inner courage, or artistic nature; but I sometimes think I am simply burdened with an overdeveloped sense of right and wrong. This, in addition to the Irish and Dutch genes that comprise the biggest part of my DNA, generates an eerie obstinacy that goes well beyond "just plain stubborn." In the right environment, stubborn righteousness might be viewed in a positive light, even seen as a wondrous gift, but alas, I have yet to find such an environment.
The truth is: I have no difficulty following rules that make sense. I believe in mandatory auto liability insurance, dog leash laws, and noise ordinances. In the workplace, I subscribe to rules that benefit the organization such as being on time for meetings and not stealing copier toner cartridges. I also believe that paying one's just share of taxes and not making loud noise are examples of laws that benefit the community - even though they might attenuate the personal pleasure of some individuals.
So, there you go: I do believe in laws and rules. They make civilization possible, after all. Without rules, you cannot play games, conduct business or fight battles.
Furthermore, I agree that the Boss has the power to create and enforce rules. When a rule or directive passes the sniff test of my infallible sense of right and wrong I agree to be subject to it. If not, I generally exempt myself from it.
If I cannot see the benefit or purpose in an order - or, worse - if I question the motives of the rule-giver, then my Dutch-Irish kicks-in with full throttle.
I have frequently observed that rules are often made by little tyrants - just because they have the power, and find entertainment in making subordinates run around - much the way a small boy enjoys disturbing an anthill.
John Kerry might still be a candidate for president if he had only told the students, "Study hard or you could end-up getting stuck wearing a Mickee Dees uniform taking orders for fries and burgers -- or worse, end-up brown-nosing some fat bastard ego-maniac."
I wish somebody had told me that back during the botched joke that was my high school study hall behavior - when I was not studying History and Algebra.
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