Local baseball fans - among whom I am distinctly of the "fair weather" variety - woke up today to the UN-surprising news that Red Sox employee Manny Ramirez was gone, like a foul ball hit out of the park.
We - who understand that baseball is just a job after all - will miss him. He was a pain in the ass prima donna who could hit clutch home runs and fer goshsakes win games when it counted. He was disruptive and lazy and his fielding abilities were less than big league. He looked more like a rap musician than a baseball worker with his long dreadlocks and baggy clown pants. But darn it, he was entertaining.
We have all worked with people like Manny. We might have had to work a bit harder while our coworker was slacking off. Or we might have felt that someone else was getting more attention for his antics than his performance in the field. The Manny on our team may have been annoying at times but then they would do something marvelous: getting the contract that would mean more revenue for our company or solving a costly problem. Just like Manny with his world series game winning performance in the clutch.
At their farewell parties, we sincerely wish them well and try to remember their deeds of greatness. Then we go home and forget about them.
Manny's singular value to the Red Sox was that he is a great slugger who can save the day. I think we will miss him before this season is over. For a little while.
The fact is (despite our hubris) most of us are quite replaceable. Each of us creates our own legacy in our work life. But regardless of our accomplishments, whether we were Airline CEO's, Hall of Fame sluggers or systems analysts, the mark we make amounts to footprints in the sand: washed away by the next tide - or even the next wave, gone and forgotten.
Like Manny, Nomar, Johnny Damon, Babe Ruth - there comes a time when We have stayed too long at the party and it is time to be moving on down the road, with the fresh opportunity to re-create ourselves on a new team. Too many cliches, you say? Well sorry, they just seemed to be appropriate.
The Red Sox suits may seem smart, letting Manny go after getting the best he had, but we felt that way about Roger Clemens too.
8/01/2008
7/30/2008
Start of a Trend?
I have been justifiably hard on the people who run airlines and their careless attitude towards the comfort and satisfaction of their customers. I have reserved the most bitter scorn for the overpaid executives who would prefer to layoff the working stiffs and cut service rather than take a cut in their own compensation.
So I must take a moment and recognize at least one CEO making a move in the right direction.
The new honcho at JetBlue, David Barger, has taken a personal pay cut of 50% for six months. $250K instead of 500k the article says. If my math is correct, that is actually more like a 25% cut in his annual pay. Still, it is a gesture worthy of note. These guys get huge bonuses when business is good. It is typical for a C-level manager to take full credit - and perks - when business is good. But when things are bad they blame slow demand, weather, sunspots, price of gasoline, seasonal trends, etc. I kinda like a guy who acknowledges that the boss should get dinged along with everyone else.
I doubt that this is going to spark a new trend in responsible CEO salaries, but you never know...
So I must take a moment and recognize at least one CEO making a move in the right direction.
The new honcho at JetBlue, David Barger, has taken a personal pay cut of 50% for six months. $250K instead of 500k the article says. If my math is correct, that is actually more like a 25% cut in his annual pay. Still, it is a gesture worthy of note. These guys get huge bonuses when business is good. It is typical for a C-level manager to take full credit - and perks - when business is good. But when things are bad they blame slow demand, weather, sunspots, price of gasoline, seasonal trends, etc. I kinda like a guy who acknowledges that the boss should get dinged along with everyone else.
I doubt that this is going to spark a new trend in responsible CEO salaries, but you never know...
7/04/2008
Independence Day Musings
IN an op-ed column published in yesterday's Wall St Journal titled "Why We Went to War in Iraq." Douglas Feith, unrepentant neocon who is incidentally humping a new book, lays out the 5 major reasons that Bush decided to invade Iraq.
I think many of us who regret what has happened in Iraq would have to admit that we shared the post-9-11 mood of vulnerability and outrage. While we were not persuaded that Saddam was a clear and present danger to the USA, we saw his behavior as immediately dangerous to our ally, Israel. He had thumbed his nose at UN resolutions for years, was misusing the oil for food program, and was openly claiming to have WMD's ready to use, and threatening to acquire nuclear weapons. It certainly was my opinion that something had to be done.
In the months following the Trade Center Attacks on 9-11, I had been reading books like Huntington's "The Clash of Civilizations" and was influenced by "The Threatening Storm: The Case for Invading Iraq" by ex CIA analyst Kenneth Pollack. By the time Bush started rattling the saber, I was ready to sign up myself.
How easy it is to forget that we were unified as a country on that score. Today we blame it all on Bush, but i think we should take a moment and recognize that if a few parameters had been changed (eg, control of the looting, more involvement by UN, discovery of WMD's) it might seem like a different game. We know he had the Chemical weapons because we gave them to him; even today no one knows where they went to.
Although Mr Feith still thinks we had no choice other than to bring Saddam down, he does not argue that the post invasion administration was done well. Those mistakes have ruined many lives civilian and military, has wasted billions of US treasure, and has also exacerbated an ideological polarization within our own country.
Today we celebrate Independence Day. We stand in awe of those brave men who signed that letter to the king, in full realization that they might be sacrificing everything for the concept of liberty.
Few of us today can claim to share that level of commitment to an idea. Who will stand in awe of us?
I think many of us who regret what has happened in Iraq would have to admit that we shared the post-9-11 mood of vulnerability and outrage. While we were not persuaded that Saddam was a clear and present danger to the USA, we saw his behavior as immediately dangerous to our ally, Israel. He had thumbed his nose at UN resolutions for years, was misusing the oil for food program, and was openly claiming to have WMD's ready to use, and threatening to acquire nuclear weapons. It certainly was my opinion that something had to be done.
In the months following the Trade Center Attacks on 9-11, I had been reading books like Huntington's "The Clash of Civilizations" and was influenced by "The Threatening Storm: The Case for Invading Iraq" by ex CIA analyst Kenneth Pollack. By the time Bush started rattling the saber, I was ready to sign up myself.
How easy it is to forget that we were unified as a country on that score. Today we blame it all on Bush, but i think we should take a moment and recognize that if a few parameters had been changed (eg, control of the looting, more involvement by UN, discovery of WMD's) it might seem like a different game. We know he had the Chemical weapons because we gave them to him; even today no one knows where they went to.
Although Mr Feith still thinks we had no choice other than to bring Saddam down, he does not argue that the post invasion administration was done well. Those mistakes have ruined many lives civilian and military, has wasted billions of US treasure, and has also exacerbated an ideological polarization within our own country.
Today we celebrate Independence Day. We stand in awe of those brave men who signed that letter to the king, in full realization that they might be sacrificing everything for the concept of liberty.
Few of us today can claim to share that level of commitment to an idea. Who will stand in awe of us?
7/01/2008
The Turnaround Begins Now
Fans and critics alike will be pleased to know that the check has finally arrived.
Today, I will go to Sears and purchase a new lawn mower, made (or at least, assembled) in the USA. We will fill our gas tanks and buy locally grown foods at the market. We will buy a book written by an American author. Perhaps a case of Sierra Nevada. A California Chardonnay or maybe a nice Zinfandel.
I think that should get the Economy kick started...
Today, I will go to Sears and purchase a new lawn mower, made (or at least, assembled) in the USA. We will fill our gas tanks and buy locally grown foods at the market. We will buy a book written by an American author. Perhaps a case of Sierra Nevada. A California Chardonnay or maybe a nice Zinfandel.
I think that should get the Economy kick started...
6/30/2008
Clark's Outrageous Comment
In logic, conflation is the error of treating two distinct concepts as if they were one. We witnessed a perfect example of this in the press treatment of the Wesley Clark statement regarding John McCain. Asked on the Sunday morning program Face The Nation, hosted by Bob Sheiffer whether John McCain's military experience qualified him to become president, General Clark (a pro military guy himself) responded that flying jets, getting shot down, being a POW were not necessarily presidential qualifications.
The aghast Sheiffer demanded an explanation, wherein Clark explained the differences between policy setting, planning and administration and following orders. He never disparaged McCain's courage, patriotism, or honesty.
McCain's people were outraged. How could anyone question McCain's military record? By yesterday evening, Obama was distancing himself from Clark.
I am perplexed. Why can't Obama (or some journalist) simply point out that Clark never attacked McCain's patriotism or courage? The comments about the qualifications for president were restricted to whether combat military service was pertinent to the job as commander in chief. (If so, maybe they should have nominated Colin Powell.)
But some conservatives have been very successful in raising conflation to a conversational art. Let anyone utter a word of dissention from the party line and their patriotism is called into question. This flap is proof that the mix of disinformation and moral clarity creates a potent brew.
The aghast Sheiffer demanded an explanation, wherein Clark explained the differences between policy setting, planning and administration and following orders. He never disparaged McCain's courage, patriotism, or honesty.
McCain's people were outraged. How could anyone question McCain's military record? By yesterday evening, Obama was distancing himself from Clark.
I am perplexed. Why can't Obama (or some journalist) simply point out that Clark never attacked McCain's patriotism or courage? The comments about the qualifications for president were restricted to whether combat military service was pertinent to the job as commander in chief. (If so, maybe they should have nominated Colin Powell.)
But some conservatives have been very successful in raising conflation to a conversational art. Let anyone utter a word of dissention from the party line and their patriotism is called into question. This flap is proof that the mix of disinformation and moral clarity creates a potent brew.
Wisdom of Age
Boy, the guy who said, "You should never cook bacon while naked," really knew what he was talking about.
6/29/2008
Rationalizing Happiness
Another birthday has rolled around on the two digit odometer of my life. I do not mention it to make you feel guilty that you didn't send me a card or a gift, honestly. It is not a big birthday, but one of those tweener anniversaries. Last year's birthday (my 65th) is probably the last one I will actually "celebrate" with any sense of party-worthiness. From here on I will simply "observe" the day as a reason to demand bacon for breakfast - with no feeling of celebration, rather a vague sense of doom as I mark one year closer to the ultimate afternoon nap. This is not morbid thinking; this is just Reality 101.
When my friends and I get together for lunch these days, we toast each others' health - and we really mean it! These days some of us are clinking iced tea and soda glasses instead of those heady steins of dark beer or martinis. Alcohol doesn't agree with some of our meds. But we are nonetheless happy to be alive and out in the company of friends to enjoy a meal and some conversation.
Frequently, at lunch the talk turns to politics. We are all tending to be argumentative in our old age (and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.) Family members call us curmudgeons; we call them ungrateful little snots.
My conservative leaning lunch mates tend to be frustrated with the relentlessness of progress. The mainstream (Communists and anarchists) press reports are full of lies and spin; special interest conservative news outlets warn of perils and slippery slopes. Their gloomy effect is far-reaching - peaked by news of another hapless pregnant girl who elects to end an unwanted pregnancy, another proposed tax measure, or any effort to change things. They want to keep things as they were. Dissent is viewed as treason.
. . .
Conservatives have always seemed grumpy to me. So I was interested in a small piece in the Globe today that cited recent studies that found conservatives tended to think of themselves as happy. In summary:
"The conservative-happiness relationship was not explained by differences in demographics or thoughtfulness but was largely explained by conservatives' greater rationalization of inequality, including belief in a meritocratic world. According to the authors, such beliefs serve a "palliative function" or act as an "emotional buffer" when confronted with inequality."
Now this seems to make sense. If you believe in a meritocracy, you probably have deluded yourself into believing that you've earned everything you've got; you are not simply the beneficiary of a lucky DNA roll that permitted you to be smart, good looking and white.
When my friends and I get together for lunch these days, we toast each others' health - and we really mean it! These days some of us are clinking iced tea and soda glasses instead of those heady steins of dark beer or martinis. Alcohol doesn't agree with some of our meds. But we are nonetheless happy to be alive and out in the company of friends to enjoy a meal and some conversation.
Frequently, at lunch the talk turns to politics. We are all tending to be argumentative in our old age (and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.) Family members call us curmudgeons; we call them ungrateful little snots.
My conservative leaning lunch mates tend to be frustrated with the relentlessness of progress. The mainstream (Communists and anarchists) press reports are full of lies and spin; special interest conservative news outlets warn of perils and slippery slopes. Their gloomy effect is far-reaching - peaked by news of another hapless pregnant girl who elects to end an unwanted pregnancy, another proposed tax measure, or any effort to change things. They want to keep things as they were. Dissent is viewed as treason.
. . .
Conservatives have always seemed grumpy to me. So I was interested in a small piece in the Globe today that cited recent studies that found conservatives tended to think of themselves as happy. In summary:
"The conservative-happiness relationship was not explained by differences in demographics or thoughtfulness but was largely explained by conservatives' greater rationalization of inequality, including belief in a meritocratic world. According to the authors, such beliefs serve a "palliative function" or act as an "emotional buffer" when confronted with inequality."
Now this seems to make sense. If you believe in a meritocracy, you probably have deluded yourself into believing that you've earned everything you've got; you are not simply the beneficiary of a lucky DNA roll that permitted you to be smart, good looking and white.
6/24/2008
Where's My Check Part 2
Ok, I got an official looking envelope from the US treasury, yesterday. It was addressed to both of us, with the last 4 digits of our taxpayer number, so there was no doubt what it contained.
I had just received the quarterly real estate tax bill the day before, and unexpected auto repairs last week had nearly depleted our discretionary expense account. The timing couldn't be better.
The government envelope had been wedged between sheaves of drenched junk mail, so, despite the torrential rains, it remained relatively dry. I rejoiced in anticipation of the long-awaited economic stimulus bonus check that would help turn our economy around to save our retirement nest egg.
Not that the mail carrier cared. He was one of those bitter, unfriendly civil servants who hate their jobs and spend most of their time on the job calculating the number of days to go until they can retire. Whenever it rains, I noticed that he never makes the slightest effort to keep the mail covered. He just walks a normal pace to each house on the street with the mail held out, unprotected, looking miffed because he was out slogging in the rain, hungry and cold, while we - the affluent residents of his route are probably languishing inside our pricey dry McMansions, not working, making grilled cheese sandwiches and watching The View.
Into each mailbox, he angrily stuffs the clutch of soggy catalogs and bills. Maybe he thinks he is living up to the Post Office credo of reliable, relentless service through rain, sleet, whatever.
Maybe he grudgingly feels he is doing a service, but I would rather wait for a nice day and get dry mail, instead of "[bleep] you - here's your [bleeping] wet mail!" But the excitement of getting my stimulus check wiped out any trivial annoyance over minor aggravations such as wet mail.
When I opened the envelope to find a letter and no check, my high expectations were crushed like a Corvair in a junkyard. Here's what the letter said:
"The check is in the mail" The letter was dated June 23 and it said that the check was scheduled for June 27 - but may take six weeks...don't call until then.
Now, I know most of you have given up trying to figure out why the government does what it does, but I still demand rationality. Was this letter supposed to give me some useful information? Or was it just another waste of taxpayer money?
And, where the hell is my check?
I had just received the quarterly real estate tax bill the day before, and unexpected auto repairs last week had nearly depleted our discretionary expense account. The timing couldn't be better.
The government envelope had been wedged between sheaves of drenched junk mail, so, despite the torrential rains, it remained relatively dry. I rejoiced in anticipation of the long-awaited economic stimulus bonus check that would help turn our economy around to save our retirement nest egg.
Not that the mail carrier cared. He was one of those bitter, unfriendly civil servants who hate their jobs and spend most of their time on the job calculating the number of days to go until they can retire. Whenever it rains, I noticed that he never makes the slightest effort to keep the mail covered. He just walks a normal pace to each house on the street with the mail held out, unprotected, looking miffed because he was out slogging in the rain, hungry and cold, while we - the affluent residents of his route are probably languishing inside our pricey dry McMansions, not working, making grilled cheese sandwiches and watching The View.
Into each mailbox, he angrily stuffs the clutch of soggy catalogs and bills. Maybe he thinks he is living up to the Post Office credo of reliable, relentless service through rain, sleet, whatever.
Maybe he grudgingly feels he is doing a service, but I would rather wait for a nice day and get dry mail, instead of "[bleep] you - here's your [bleeping] wet mail!" But the excitement of getting my stimulus check wiped out any trivial annoyance over minor aggravations such as wet mail.
When I opened the envelope to find a letter and no check, my high expectations were crushed like a Corvair in a junkyard. Here's what the letter said:
"The check is in the mail" The letter was dated June 23 and it said that the check was scheduled for June 27 - but may take six weeks...don't call until then.
Now, I know most of you have given up trying to figure out why the government does what it does, but I still demand rationality. Was this letter supposed to give me some useful information? Or was it just another waste of taxpayer money?
And, where the hell is my check?
6/21/2008
New Brave World
I was moved (again) by Peggy Noonan's recent WSJ essay "Brave New World" which impressed me as an intelligent and honest analysis of the choices we have in the next election. If you read nothing else about politics, you should read this essay. http://www.wsj.com/article/SB121330247663568945.html
In November, Americans will go to the polls with a clear choice. McCain represents Old America; Obama represents New America. The individuals themselves do not matter, so we should not get hung-up on the personalities. The president is not the Emperor. If the congress has any gonads at all, the president cannot do anything that is contrary to the will of the people.
My liberal friends (most of the people I associate with) like to blame everything that has gone wrong in the last 7 years on George Bush. I find this a bit too simplistic. There are many conspiritors afoot.
Bush lied and people died, is a clever reduction, but it does not square with the real situation. The democratic majority could have voted against funding the war in Iraq and it would have been over long ago. But they didn't. They drove the getaway car, and that makes them accessories just as if they had committed the crime with their own hands.
My conservative friends are quick to point out that things are not as bad as they would have been under Al Gore or John Kerry. I am inclined to agree with them, and I will admit that I voted for Bush both times. In retrospect I think my vote for dubya was more against the other guys. I was voting against the guys who had spent their lives working in the Washington machine. I did not trust them to have the intestinal fortitude to stand-up against their powerful special interest sponsors.
Perhaps this is just revisionist. I am acutely aware of the human tendency to justify past choices, even when they turn out to be disasterous.
Back to Peggy's thesis. I think she has nailed it with her description of the issues and choice at stake - New America vs Old America.
Unfortunately for her camp, she has clearly made the case that guarantees an Obama victory. She romantically characterizes what Old America stands for, forgetting the inconvenient truths of Traditional America - which was fine if you were white, good looking, and lucky enough to have Ozzie and Harriet for parents. Most of the people who will be voting in the next election don't identify with that shining vision - or memory.
Do we still have time to impeach Bush for poisoning the tomatoes?
6/15/2008
A License to Annoy
Hmm. I'm reading the AP News bulletin with a distinctly non-newsy headline that shouts: " Companies get OK to annoy polar bears ." The story is a ruling by The Fish and Wildlife Service that allows seven oil companies to drill in the arctic without worrying about harassing lawsuits from tree-huggers that they are disturbing the habitat of a useless species of wild bear.
Such a headline is certainly disturbing because it violates the fundamental assumption that news is about facts. The headline should have said "Ruling allows oil companies to explore near bear populations "
The injection of the reporter's or some special interest spokesman's value judgements into the story (and indeed the lead) is an increasing annoyance to those of us who read newspapers hoping to discern the truth about events. Isn't there a section in the paper for Opinions, where it may be relevant to discuss how one measures the level of annoyance exhibited by bears.
Even more exasperating for neutral-leaning readers is the information:
The seven companies will be required to map out the locations of polar bear dens, train their employees about the bears' habits and take other measures to minimize clashes with them. In exchange, the companies are legally protected if their operations unintentionally harm the bears. Any bear deaths would still warrant an investigation and could result in penalty under the law.
Administration and industry officials said oil companies enjoyed similar status in the Chukchi Sea from 1991 to 1996 and in the Beaufort Sea since 1993 and there was no effect on polar bear populations.
There is no evidence of a polar bear being killed by oil and gas activities in Alaska since 1993, according to the Fish and Wildlife Service. Since 1960, when the hunt for oil and gas began in Alaska, only two fatalities of polar bears have been linked to oil and gas activities in the state, the service said.
Such a headline is certainly disturbing because it violates the fundamental assumption that news is about facts. The headline should have said "Ruling allows oil companies to explore near bear populations "
The injection of the reporter's or some special interest spokesman's value judgements into the story (and indeed the lead) is an increasing annoyance to those of us who read newspapers hoping to discern the truth about events. Isn't there a section in the paper for Opinions, where it may be relevant to discuss how one measures the level of annoyance exhibited by bears.
Even more exasperating for neutral-leaning readers is the information:
The seven companies will be required to map out the locations of polar bear dens, train their employees about the bears' habits and take other measures to minimize clashes with them. In exchange, the companies are legally protected if their operations unintentionally harm the bears. Any bear deaths would still warrant an investigation and could result in penalty under the law.
Administration and industry officials said oil companies enjoyed similar status in the Chukchi Sea from 1991 to 1996 and in the Beaufort Sea since 1993 and there was no effect on polar bear populations.
There is no evidence of a polar bear being killed by oil and gas activities in Alaska since 1993, according to the Fish and Wildlife Service. Since 1960, when the hunt for oil and gas began in Alaska, only two fatalities of polar bears have been linked to oil and gas activities in the state, the service said.
Seems to me like a rational approach to minimizing the impact on the indigenous wildlife while moving ahead with progress. Yet the headline shouted the opinion of a spokesman for the Center for Biological Diversity, who called the ruling "... a blank check to harass the polar bear in the Chukchi Sea."
So, even if the trade-off is between annoying a few bears and $6 a gallon gasoline, I think it should be arcticly clear which side I am on.
6/13/2008
Another Reason to Stay on the Sofa
The recent news that the food services at Fenway Park could be dangerous to your health comes as no surprise to your faithful, germaphobic hellhole escapee. See this link for story.
I just hope the baseball workers (aka: players) dont eat the food that is sold to fans. We wouldn't want yet another reason for them to go on strike.
Your frugal, germaphobic, escapee blogger has been priced-out of the professional entertainment market for many years, not just since becoming a fixed-income pensioner. Not to mention that his widening posterior has been sized-out by the tiny seats in Fenway coach class.
There was an op-ed piece in the paper the other day, calling for a cap on the price of "resold" tickets. The writer thought that scalpers should be prohibited from selling the ticket at more than twice the face value of the ticket. I do not see the logic of such an arbitrary position. Either the price should be enforced exactly at face value or whatever the market will bear. And do we really want the government to nationalize and regulate the resold ticket industry?
If some wealthy moron wants to pay $10,000 for a ticket to watch a bunch of spoiled, overpaid baseball workers, why should we care?
==============
Speaking of the risk of plagues killing multitudes of people, I recently saw the Sci Fi (Will Smith) movie "I Am Legend" which has been out on DVD for a few months.
Based on the book by Richard Matheson, it is an updated remake of the excellent 1971 Charlton Heston movie which was titled "The Omega Man."
The story is about survival and loneliness after a catastrophic man-made plague. In the original story the world population is decimated by the results of a biological warfare conflict. In the updated version, a genetically tweaked virus becomes a cure for cancer, but mutates into a form of human rabies.
Those who survive become light-phobic vampires. OK, I didn't think I would like it either, but I am mentioning it here, because I did like it. And the special effects are stunning. And the fresh prince has come a long way since "Independence Day."
Not that you should give a crap what I think, but I give it four stars.
I just hope the baseball workers (aka: players) dont eat the food that is sold to fans. We wouldn't want yet another reason for them to go on strike.
Your frugal, germaphobic, escapee blogger has been priced-out of the professional entertainment market for many years, not just since becoming a fixed-income pensioner. Not to mention that his widening posterior has been sized-out by the tiny seats in Fenway coach class.
There was an op-ed piece in the paper the other day, calling for a cap on the price of "resold" tickets. The writer thought that scalpers should be prohibited from selling the ticket at more than twice the face value of the ticket. I do not see the logic of such an arbitrary position. Either the price should be enforced exactly at face value or whatever the market will bear. And do we really want the government to nationalize and regulate the resold ticket industry?
If some wealthy moron wants to pay $10,000 for a ticket to watch a bunch of spoiled, overpaid baseball workers, why should we care?
==============
Speaking of the risk of plagues killing multitudes of people, I recently saw the Sci Fi (Will Smith) movie "I Am Legend" which has been out on DVD for a few months.
Based on the book by Richard Matheson, it is an updated remake of the excellent 1971 Charlton Heston movie which was titled "The Omega Man."
The story is about survival and loneliness after a catastrophic man-made plague. In the original story the world population is decimated by the results of a biological warfare conflict. In the updated version, a genetically tweaked virus becomes a cure for cancer, but mutates into a form of human rabies.
Those who survive become light-phobic vampires. OK, I didn't think I would like it either, but I am mentioning it here, because I did like it. And the special effects are stunning. And the fresh prince has come a long way since "Independence Day."
Not that you should give a crap what I think, but I give it four stars.
6/11/2008
More Reasons to 'Grow Your Own'
Killer Tomatoes
The latest assault on our health and wallets is salmonella and tomatoes. Shades of last year's spinach contamination - if everyone is like me, you probably don't feel the same way about spinach since fall of 2006. How would you like to be an ex-spinach farmer who borrowed heavily to shift his crop to cultivation of tomatoes?
Not a Farmers Daughter Joke.
It could be worse: In Afghanistan, many of the poppy farmers are complaining that the recent government crackdown on poppy growing has cost them dearly. With no crop, they have no way to pay back the money they borrowed from the Taliban. The Taliban - much like the Mafia - tells them "It's just business" and makes them an offer that they literally cannot refuse. "Give us your young attractive daughter and we'll call it square." See Opium Brides
The latest assault on our health and wallets is salmonella and tomatoes. Shades of last year's spinach contamination - if everyone is like me, you probably don't feel the same way about spinach since fall of 2006. How would you like to be an ex-spinach farmer who borrowed heavily to shift his crop to cultivation of tomatoes?
Not a Farmers Daughter Joke.
It could be worse: In Afghanistan, many of the poppy farmers are complaining that the recent government crackdown on poppy growing has cost them dearly. With no crop, they have no way to pay back the money they borrowed from the Taliban. The Taliban - much like the Mafia - tells them "It's just business" and makes them an offer that they literally cannot refuse. "Give us your young attractive daughter and we'll call it square." See Opium Brides
6/08/2008
Fathers Day Gift Planning
I am seeing all these absolutely dumbass ideas about what people ought to get for their dads on Fathers day. Most of these are written by staff writers who were told "write something for fathers day" so they came up with "The ten best Fathers day gifts" or "what dad really wants on fathers day." It's all crap and any one who gets their ideas from these lame-assed ads should be embarrassed.
No kids, I do not want "the Beer of The month" for fathers day - nor does anyone who really likes beer. To me, it would be the same as sending dad a pair of socks every month. Don't other dads like to pick out their own socks? I do. And I prefer to select my favorite beer - which is technically an ale - Sierra Nevada. Why would I want randomly selected beers picked by some skinny Gen-X dude who thinks Green Day is a good band? Or worse, some millenium shavetail with a taste for Belgium wheat beers and bleeding heart tattoos snaking up their necks.
No thanks. I spent a lifetime in a costly and far reaching search for the beer that would become my brand. You want to give me beer, give me my favorite brand, not some trendy boutique brew.
No kids, I do not want "the Beer of The month" for fathers day - nor does anyone who really likes beer. To me, it would be the same as sending dad a pair of socks every month. Don't other dads like to pick out their own socks? I do. And I prefer to select my favorite beer - which is technically an ale - Sierra Nevada. Why would I want randomly selected beers picked by some skinny Gen-X dude who thinks Green Day is a good band? Or worse, some millenium shavetail with a taste for Belgium wheat beers and bleeding heart tattoos snaking up their necks.
No thanks. I spent a lifetime in a costly and far reaching search for the beer that would become my brand. You want to give me beer, give me my favorite brand, not some trendy boutique brew.
6/07/2008
A Toast To the Voters
Peggy Noonan doesn't like the Clintons, and figuratively raises her glass to salute the Democrats for rejecting her as the nominee for President in this article which appears in today's WSJ.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121269958227749853.html
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121269958227749853.html
6/05/2008
Where's My Check?
Here it is the first week in June and I want to know: where's my check?
Has anyone got their so-called economic stimulus money yet? What did you do with it?
I had originally thought I would use the money for a new lawnmower - made in America and all that. I figured it would be a win-win deal.
They say that Gods laughs at our plans. (Meanspirited of him, don't you think?) Perhaps you think it paranoid of me to suggest that God has driven the price of sweet crude to record heights for the sole purpose of thwarting my intention to buy a new lawnmower, but I'm just saying it looks pretty suspicious to me. The cost of almost everything is suddenly higher. (The one bright light: the cost of my favorite product - K-Y Warming Jelly - has stayed stable.)
But you cannot run a Grand Caravan on personal lubricant. And those rip-off artists at the dealer service center have reamed me to the tune of $900.00 (USD) to fix my brakes, a vacuum hose, and to install front-end anti-sway bar bushings. A fill-up now costs $65.00.
I hear some metaphysical chuckle in my inner-ear about my new plan: to use the government money to pay my Visa bill. Now, if the government goes belly-up before I get the check, I will know for sure that God is out to get me.
Has anyone got their so-called economic stimulus money yet? What did you do with it?
I had originally thought I would use the money for a new lawnmower - made in America and all that. I figured it would be a win-win deal.
They say that Gods laughs at our plans. (Meanspirited of him, don't you think?) Perhaps you think it paranoid of me to suggest that God has driven the price of sweet crude to record heights for the sole purpose of thwarting my intention to buy a new lawnmower, but I'm just saying it looks pretty suspicious to me. The cost of almost everything is suddenly higher. (The one bright light: the cost of my favorite product - K-Y Warming Jelly - has stayed stable.)
But you cannot run a Grand Caravan on personal lubricant. And those rip-off artists at the dealer service center have reamed me to the tune of $900.00 (USD) to fix my brakes, a vacuum hose, and to install front-end anti-sway bar bushings. A fill-up now costs $65.00.
I hear some metaphysical chuckle in my inner-ear about my new plan: to use the government money to pay my Visa bill. Now, if the government goes belly-up before I get the check, I will know for sure that God is out to get me.
5/28/2008
Reasons Not To Buy Scott McClellan's Kiss and Tell Book
The former Press Secretary has written a book. I am not going to buy it and you probably shouldn't either.
Anyone that could write the following paragraph deserves to be ignored:
"Our lack of candor and honesty in making the case for war would later provoke a partisan response from our opponents that, in its own way, further distorted and obscured a more nuanced reality. Another cycle of deception would cloud the public's ability to see larger, underlying important truths that are critical to understand in order to avoid the same problems in the future. "
Huh?
Any half-decent editor would have simplified the wording:
"When the Democrat-America-Haters realized that we had lied about the threat in Iraq, they were really pissed. It forced us to react as if they were the enemy. It was all their fault. "
As President Bush might have said, "Helluva job, Scotty."
Anyone that could write the following paragraph deserves to be ignored:
"Our lack of candor and honesty in making the case for war would later provoke a partisan response from our opponents that, in its own way, further distorted and obscured a more nuanced reality. Another cycle of deception would cloud the public's ability to see larger, underlying important truths that are critical to understand in order to avoid the same problems in the future. "
Huh?
Any half-decent editor would have simplified the wording:
"When the Democrat-America-Haters realized that we had lied about the threat in Iraq, they were really pissed. It forced us to react as if they were the enemy. It was all their fault. "
As President Bush might have said, "Helluva job, Scotty."
5/24/2008
Beware The Ides of June
Hillary Clinton may have revealed her real strategy yesterday when she attempted to justify her perseverance in the presidential campaign, despite the virtual mathematical certainty that she cannot get enough delegates to win:
"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California Primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. "
This remark was not well received. There was a furious round of outrage by the Obama camp. Later in the day, Hillary sort of apologized - to those who chose to misconstrue her remark.
When I first heard this quote, I wondered, what's the fuss? She is just saying "It ain't over until the real votes are counted."
Naive me. After listening to the nuance police on TV, now I realize that this was actually a very subtle RFP for a hired hit job on Barak. People who hate the Clintons believe them to be capable of any, I repeat any, act, however ruthless, in order to fulfill their ambitions. Imus calls Hillary Satan. And Bill has already proven that he would risk everything for Oval Office blowjobs from a talkative young intern.
I did not initially find Hillary's statements to be inflammatory because I had already heard the same rationale from more than one talking head using the Bobby Kennedy example: Stuff happens, they say. It may be unseemly for her to make the point, but the context was in answer to a question during a round table discussion, not a rhetorical call-for-action in a stump speech.
Logic has no authority in this matter. The jar is open, and whether she meant it or not, the spectre of political assassination is floating in the air. Now she (and we) will have to endure another month of shukking and jiving in the spotlight about what-she-said and what-she-meant. Conspiracy lovers will have a(nother) field day.
The naive among us think that political assassinations are events that happen in other, primitive societies. The realists among us realize that it can (and did) happen here. The darkly imaginative anti-Clintonistas among us might be thinking: first strike.
"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California Primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. "
This remark was not well received. There was a furious round of outrage by the Obama camp. Later in the day, Hillary sort of apologized - to those who chose to misconstrue her remark.
When I first heard this quote, I wondered, what's the fuss? She is just saying "It ain't over until the real votes are counted."
Naive me. After listening to the nuance police on TV, now I realize that this was actually a very subtle RFP for a hired hit job on Barak. People who hate the Clintons believe them to be capable of any, I repeat any, act, however ruthless, in order to fulfill their ambitions. Imus calls Hillary Satan. And Bill has already proven that he would risk everything for Oval Office blowjobs from a talkative young intern.
I did not initially find Hillary's statements to be inflammatory because I had already heard the same rationale from more than one talking head using the Bobby Kennedy example: Stuff happens, they say. It may be unseemly for her to make the point, but the context was in answer to a question during a round table discussion, not a rhetorical call-for-action in a stump speech.
Logic has no authority in this matter. The jar is open, and whether she meant it or not, the spectre of political assassination is floating in the air. Now she (and we) will have to endure another month of shukking and jiving in the spotlight about what-she-said and what-she-meant. Conspiracy lovers will have a(nother) field day.
The naive among us think that political assassinations are events that happen in other, primitive societies. The realists among us realize that it can (and did) happen here. The darkly imaginative anti-Clintonistas among us might be thinking: first strike.
5/23/2008
Post-Vacation Blues
Actually, I never noticed this before, but after a month in paradise, real life seems – well - disappointing. I feel like the classic dipsomaniac who is trying to recover from a month-long bender. The overload of sensory delights, followed by sudden withdrawal, has created a type of post-traumatic stress.
You are probably saying to yourself, other than the air travel experience where is the trauma? Well, my friend don’t you think it’s traumatic to know that you are more than 6,000 miles from Paradise? Who knows, maybe shrinks have a syndrome that describes the feeling (post-euphoric-stress?) that betakes people and imprisons them in a back-to-earth funk.
Or, maybe these blues are the natural reaction of a fixed-income retiree - who may, or may not, live another 20 years (God only knows) and who must subsist on the meager dole from Unka Sam - plus anticipated interest from investments in a volatile economy. Gas is going up, the value of my mansion is going down, my chances to find part time work are diminished and (according to spammer e-mails) my love-muscle is too disappointingly soft. I planted a dozen marigolds three days ago. Some varmint has beheaded 8 of them. I mowed the lawn last week and here it is again looking shaggy. I search for seeds of hope, but crows have eaten them.
This morning it occurred to me that life is like a job. God is the boss, and even he has a manual to tell you what to do, and especially how to feed his big ego. You need to show up every day and try to look good. A few basic rules: Be nice to others (unless you are serving in the military) and stop dreaming about shtupping the neighbor’s wife/donkey. I can go along with that. It’s the requisite level of ego gratification that troubles me. Kneeling, chanting, supplication. And the performance review…pretty intimidating.
Ah, perhaps I will find cause to Hope in the morning paper: Oprah is going on a 21 day vegan detox diet. Like that will somehow make her eternally thin. We all know that when you are fat, you will always be fat until you get sick and die. Diets are God’s way of making you stop eating the stuff you like for a few months. It’s like the boss - jerking you around for entertainment.
And here: Annotated color graphic of Ted Kennedy’s inoperable brain tumor spoils my breakfast. The suddenness of this dark diagnosis stuns us all – even the pundati on the radio who love to hate him. He looks thinner already.
Then there are the Hurricanes and tornadoes and Earthquakes. We are once again reminded of human impotence. Natural forces and perhaps even supernatural powers hold sway over us, sneak up on us, and devastate us. Some people call this type of universal suffering “God’s will.” Such thinking cannot help but depress us. What kind of eternity are we in for, if our God thinks it’s a good idea to devastate our lives to prove his existence?
You are probably saying to yourself, other than the air travel experience where is the trauma? Well, my friend don’t you think it’s traumatic to know that you are more than 6,000 miles from Paradise? Who knows, maybe shrinks have a syndrome that describes the feeling (post-euphoric-stress?) that betakes people and imprisons them in a back-to-earth funk.
Or, maybe these blues are the natural reaction of a fixed-income retiree - who may, or may not, live another 20 years (God only knows) and who must subsist on the meager dole from Unka Sam - plus anticipated interest from investments in a volatile economy. Gas is going up, the value of my mansion is going down, my chances to find part time work are diminished and (according to spammer e-mails) my love-muscle is too disappointingly soft. I planted a dozen marigolds three days ago. Some varmint has beheaded 8 of them. I mowed the lawn last week and here it is again looking shaggy. I search for seeds of hope, but crows have eaten them.
This morning it occurred to me that life is like a job. God is the boss, and even he has a manual to tell you what to do, and especially how to feed his big ego. You need to show up every day and try to look good. A few basic rules: Be nice to others (unless you are serving in the military) and stop dreaming about shtupping the neighbor’s wife/donkey. I can go along with that. It’s the requisite level of ego gratification that troubles me. Kneeling, chanting, supplication. And the performance review…pretty intimidating.
Ah, perhaps I will find cause to Hope in the morning paper: Oprah is going on a 21 day vegan detox diet. Like that will somehow make her eternally thin. We all know that when you are fat, you will always be fat until you get sick and die. Diets are God’s way of making you stop eating the stuff you like for a few months. It’s like the boss - jerking you around for entertainment.
And here: Annotated color graphic of Ted Kennedy’s inoperable brain tumor spoils my breakfast. The suddenness of this dark diagnosis stuns us all – even the pundati on the radio who love to hate him. He looks thinner already.
Then there are the Hurricanes and tornadoes and Earthquakes. We are once again reminded of human impotence. Natural forces and perhaps even supernatural powers hold sway over us, sneak up on us, and devastate us. Some people call this type of universal suffering “God’s will.” Such thinking cannot help but depress us. What kind of eternity are we in for, if our God thinks it’s a good idea to devastate our lives to prove his existence?
5/04/2008
No Country Redux
You probably think that you are one of the two or three people who read this blog. But I have news for you bucko: there are at least four people who read it, not counting me.
I know this because I have received anecdotal evidence from one of the "regulars" that he was talking with a female friend who read my "No Country for Old Men " post of last week.
She thinks I should stick to writing about work issues and leave politics to the pundati. As I understand it, she is a supporter of John McCain's creaking campaign, and she wishes that I would just STFU about how old McCain is.
It makes me happy to imagine that someone would read my musings and actually be annoyed because they are worried that my pearls of wisdom and insight might actually change someones mind - or vote.
Someone should tell her that this wisdom is lost to most surfers, so she needen't become distressed that wandering bubbas might find truth via the Google search engine. I think Google tends to "find" Internet postings that have a lot of commercial appeal. This is a problem for me, since, like John McCain, I do not believe in pandering to special interests. I do not "sell" ad space to gain revenue. I know what you are thinking: No one would advertise on a site that only gets four clicks a week. Maybe so.
Exploring the Internets can be harrowing. We writers frequently attempt to back-up our opinions with actual facts. In the old days, I suppose writers actually went to the library and looked stuff up. Hah, what a waste of time! Nowadays, professional opinionators need go no further than their handy desk top search engine. All Truth is out there on the Internets. If there isn't a Wikipedia entry on something, it probably isn't worth knowing - or believing.
The other day, I tried to see if Google would find one of the blogs that I posted with "tags" I searched "McCain, No Country for Old Men" and when I did not find my blog in the top 200 listings, I lost interest. Instead, I found this obvious ripoff of my previous entry which, remember, was dated two days earlier:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-scheer/no-country-for-old-men_b_99342.html
I would consider a plagiarism lawsuit against this Robert-sheer fellow, but that would involve talking to a lawyer. My daddy always said " Boy, don't never have no truck wit no lawyers. You gots to make you own justice." Well, sometimes justice is trumped by a desire to keep things simple. Besides, as my mother used to say, imitation is the highest form of compliment.
I know what you are thinking: The Sheer piece is so much better, well written and researched. Well, I think my mother would have said mine was better. Nah nah.
Speaking of Mothers, my wife tricked me into making breakfast this morning, suggesting that it was Mothers day. Hey, since I became an orphan, I don't pay any attention to the Hallmark Holidays. By the time I realized that it (Mothers Day) was actually next Sunday, my wily coyote bride of 40 years had already consumed the Land O Lakes Omega3 eggs, Banquet brown-and-serve sausages and buttered Arnold Oat Bran toast, and was sitting like a princess on the Sun-Shield screen porch quaffing her Starbucks Verona with that Mona Lisa smile on her face. (Maybe that will get me some Google hits).
editorial note: After pithy commentary on grammer and pronoun agreement by yet another faithful reader/commenter, I have re-written the earlier version. The comments have been removed to avoid confusion.
I know this because I have received anecdotal evidence from one of the "regulars" that he was talking with a female friend who read my "No Country for Old Men " post of last week.
She thinks I should stick to writing about work issues and leave politics to the pundati. As I understand it, she is a supporter of John McCain's creaking campaign, and she wishes that I would just STFU about how old McCain is.
It makes me happy to imagine that someone would read my musings and actually be annoyed because they are worried that my pearls of wisdom and insight might actually change someones mind - or vote.
Someone should tell her that this wisdom is lost to most surfers, so she needen't become distressed that wandering bubbas might find truth via the Google search engine. I think Google tends to "find" Internet postings that have a lot of commercial appeal. This is a problem for me, since, like John McCain, I do not believe in pandering to special interests. I do not "sell" ad space to gain revenue. I know what you are thinking: No one would advertise on a site that only gets four clicks a week. Maybe so.
Exploring the Internets can be harrowing. We writers frequently attempt to back-up our opinions with actual facts. In the old days, I suppose writers actually went to the library and looked stuff up. Hah, what a waste of time! Nowadays, professional opinionators need go no further than their handy desk top search engine. All Truth is out there on the Internets. If there isn't a Wikipedia entry on something, it probably isn't worth knowing - or believing.
The other day, I tried to see if Google would find one of the blogs that I posted with "tags" I searched "McCain, No Country for Old Men" and when I did not find my blog in the top 200 listings, I lost interest. Instead, I found this obvious ripoff of my previous entry which, remember, was dated two days earlier:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-scheer/no-country-for-old-men_b_99342.html
I would consider a plagiarism lawsuit against this Robert-sheer fellow, but that would involve talking to a lawyer. My daddy always said " Boy, don't never have no truck wit no lawyers. You gots to make you own justice." Well, sometimes justice is trumped by a desire to keep things simple. Besides, as my mother used to say, imitation is the highest form of compliment.
I know what you are thinking: The Sheer piece is so much better, well written and researched. Well, I think my mother would have said mine was better. Nah nah.
Speaking of Mothers, my wife tricked me into making breakfast this morning, suggesting that it was Mothers day. Hey, since I became an orphan, I don't pay any attention to the Hallmark Holidays. By the time I realized that it (Mothers Day) was actually next Sunday, my wily coyote bride of 40 years had already consumed the Land O Lakes Omega3 eggs, Banquet brown-and-serve sausages and buttered Arnold Oat Bran toast, and was sitting like a princess on the Sun-Shield screen porch quaffing her Starbucks Verona with that Mona Lisa smile on her face. (Maybe that will get me some Google hits).
editorial note: After pithy commentary on grammer and pronoun agreement by yet another faithful reader/commenter, I have re-written the earlier version. The comments have been removed to avoid confusion.
4/28/2008
Cacophonous Effusions
I really don't want this to turn into a political blog, but I have been distracted from my mission (to examine the meaning of work in our lives) by events that cannot be ignored. A faithful reader has written an e-mail actually complimenting me on the previous entry. This is seductively encouraging for a writer. Lucky for the rest of you that I shot my wad on that piece so now I must go back to reading the paper for ideas.
I enjoyed this Opinion column by Joseph Epstein in the WSJ today .
Mr Epstein has the perfect way of keeping sane - trying to find literary parallels while trying to make sense of the sound and the fury of the political campaign. I hope he won't mind if I quote a few lines, (since you probably are to lazy to click on the link and actually read it without a tease).
"So enraptured have I become by the political morality play of the Democratic primaries that, with much shame, I have returned to watching the McLaughlin Group on PBS on Saturday nights. This shameful recidivism has occurred after a rigidly self-imposed, three-year absence from the cacophonous effusions of Eleanor Clift, Pat Buchanan, Mort Zuckerman and the rest.
"The barking of these dogs as the caravan passes should be beneath a man who prefers to think himself cultivated. What do I care what they think, especially when I already know what they think? Like so many of the punditi of our day, they are all, as E. M. Forster termed it in his "Aspects of the Novel," "flat characters," by which he meant characters utterly predictable in their opinions, behavior, character – characters from whom one should expect no surprises. "
I wish I'd said that.
I enjoyed this Opinion column by Joseph Epstein in the WSJ today .
Mr Epstein has the perfect way of keeping sane - trying to find literary parallels while trying to make sense of the sound and the fury of the political campaign. I hope he won't mind if I quote a few lines, (since you probably are to lazy to click on the link and actually read it without a tease).
"So enraptured have I become by the political morality play of the Democratic primaries that, with much shame, I have returned to watching the McLaughlin Group on PBS on Saturday nights. This shameful recidivism has occurred after a rigidly self-imposed, three-year absence from the cacophonous effusions of Eleanor Clift, Pat Buchanan, Mort Zuckerman and the rest.
"The barking of these dogs as the caravan passes should be beneath a man who prefers to think himself cultivated. What do I care what they think, especially when I already know what they think? Like so many of the punditi of our day, they are all, as E. M. Forster termed it in his "Aspects of the Novel," "flat characters," by which he meant characters utterly predictable in their opinions, behavior, character – characters from whom one should expect no surprises. "
I wish I'd said that.
4/26/2008
No Country for Old Men
Why is every primary hyped by the media as "crucial"? Does anyone really think that the Indiana popularity contest between Obama and Clinton will settle anything?
The answer, of course, is: No.
The media creates issues to keep us interested, but, personally, I am zoning-out, the way you do when you have heard a radio commercial 100 times.
The conservative radio talk show guys are predictable and devious. They keep up their anti-Obama rants, hoping that Clinton will pull-off the nomination. They don't want to run against the Obama phenomena. They believe that Republicrat McCain - can beat Hillary in the general election.
Conservatives fear that Obama is "too liberal." Somehow, he will imperially decide to turn us all into godless communists or worse - to cancel the Bush tax cuts!
Maybe they are afraid that he is inclined to nominate Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton to the supreme court. Maybe Oprah as his Secretary of State. Mya Angelou as Poet Laureate and head of the CIA. Issue a presidential decree to guarantee reparations to all descendants of slaves... scary stuff, indeed.
This deeply rooted fear of the unknown scares the bejesus out of them. The TV guys keep running old clips of the pro-black pastor, as if he was running for office. Fact is, all three are unknowns: senators who don't have real jobs and who have never run anything.
The problem for the anti Obama republicans, is that they have a candidate who is said to be a nice guy (when he is not flying in a PTS rage), but who really cannot be counted upon to stick to any platform or agenda. Once a formidable man (who I voted for during the 2000 primaries), he is helpless without cue-cards and handlers these days. Watch him is one on one interviews, he is like a robot. He is being handled and managed by a team of lobbyists who make the trilateral commission look like a comic book invention. He gives me no confidence as a leader.
Undoubtedly, McCain will be swift-boated (remember the Keating 5?), skewered and battered. The Democrat nominee will destroy him in free for all debates. By the time we get to November, I think he would lose to either Hillary or Barak.
The presidency may be a power trip, but it sucks the life out of those who serve. Compare the pictures of past presidents on inauguration day and then a few years later, if you don't believe me.
At age 72, this guy is just too old and tired to be up to the job. John, we salute you for your service. Now it is time to get thee to the beach and stay there.
The only chance for Repubs to win in November is to have McCain bow-out for health reasons and for him to hand the torch to Romney.
The answer, of course, is: No.
The media creates issues to keep us interested, but, personally, I am zoning-out, the way you do when you have heard a radio commercial 100 times.
The conservative radio talk show guys are predictable and devious. They keep up their anti-Obama rants, hoping that Clinton will pull-off the nomination. They don't want to run against the Obama phenomena. They believe that Republicrat McCain - can beat Hillary in the general election.
Conservatives fear that Obama is "too liberal." Somehow, he will imperially decide to turn us all into godless communists or worse - to cancel the Bush tax cuts!
Maybe they are afraid that he is inclined to nominate Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton to the supreme court. Maybe Oprah as his Secretary of State. Mya Angelou as Poet Laureate and head of the CIA. Issue a presidential decree to guarantee reparations to all descendants of slaves... scary stuff, indeed.
This deeply rooted fear of the unknown scares the bejesus out of them. The TV guys keep running old clips of the pro-black pastor, as if he was running for office. Fact is, all three are unknowns: senators who don't have real jobs and who have never run anything.
The problem for the anti Obama republicans, is that they have a candidate who is said to be a nice guy (when he is not flying in a PTS rage), but who really cannot be counted upon to stick to any platform or agenda. Once a formidable man (who I voted for during the 2000 primaries), he is helpless without cue-cards and handlers these days. Watch him is one on one interviews, he is like a robot. He is being handled and managed by a team of lobbyists who make the trilateral commission look like a comic book invention. He gives me no confidence as a leader.
Undoubtedly, McCain will be swift-boated (remember the Keating 5?), skewered and battered. The Democrat nominee will destroy him in free for all debates. By the time we get to November, I think he would lose to either Hillary or Barak.
The presidency may be a power trip, but it sucks the life out of those who serve. Compare the pictures of past presidents on inauguration day and then a few years later, if you don't believe me.
At age 72, this guy is just too old and tired to be up to the job. John, we salute you for your service. Now it is time to get thee to the beach and stay there.
The only chance for Repubs to win in November is to have McCain bow-out for health reasons and for him to hand the torch to Romney.
4/08/2008
Let Them Eat Cake
It seems like I am not the only one who hates their air travel experience. Yesterday, the "news" was about how the dissatisfaction levels with air travelers as measured by complaints received by the FAA (not just random blog rants) had increased 60% over the previous year. Lost/pilfered bags, cramped seats, long lines, unconscionable delays were among the top complaints.
Three airlines went bankrupt last week.
Today, I'm reading about 9 skycaps who sued American Airlines at Logan airport to recover tips that the airline kept illegally. The skycaps - who are paid a sub-minimum wage of less than $6 because they are normally tipped - won their suit.
I mention this because this is one example of what is wrong with American business leadership. During the period when American Airlines is gouging the customer for $2 per bag, (which diminished the tips that the skycaps had enjoyed) the executives were pocketing that money in the form of multimillion dollar bonuses. This happened at the same time all AA employees were taking pay cuts. The executives were virtually stealing the money from the lowest paid employees and egregiously rewarding themselves.
It will be interesting to see how big the executive parachutes at the bankrupt airlines are... I'll bet none of them are standing in line for unemployment checks.
This is the same attitude that got the French aristocracy a free ticket to the Guillotine Express.
Three airlines went bankrupt last week.
Today, I'm reading about 9 skycaps who sued American Airlines at Logan airport to recover tips that the airline kept illegally. The skycaps - who are paid a sub-minimum wage of less than $6 because they are normally tipped - won their suit.
I mention this because this is one example of what is wrong with American business leadership. During the period when American Airlines is gouging the customer for $2 per bag, (which diminished the tips that the skycaps had enjoyed) the executives were pocketing that money in the form of multimillion dollar bonuses. This happened at the same time all AA employees were taking pay cuts. The executives were virtually stealing the money from the lowest paid employees and egregiously rewarding themselves.
It will be interesting to see how big the executive parachutes at the bankrupt airlines are... I'll bet none of them are standing in line for unemployment checks.
This is the same attitude that got the French aristocracy a free ticket to the Guillotine Express.
4/01/2008
Not April Fools
I hope you aren't expecting some lamo April Fool's joke entry today. Honestly, I think I'm getting too old and cranky for that sort of silliness. Too bad, I used to be a sketch.
We have returned from our glorious Hawaiian adventures. I always wanted to be one of those guys who you see in the airport at the arrival gate sporting a deep tan, wearing an Aloha shirt, shorts and sandals and a woven straw hat. But, noting the fact that I am still exceptionally pale, I decided that a travel ensemble of real shoes, socks, long pants and a muted colored shirt would look less goofy. I managed to elude autograph hounds and paparazzi.
Even with on-line check-in, it requires at least 15-20 hours of your life - waiting in the baggage check line, the security check line, at the departure gate, the line to get your seat, sitting while everyone boards, waiting for take-off, and then sitting cramped like a sardine for the 5 hour trip to LAX, then the waiting during the layover before boarding the crowded cramped 6 hour flight to Boston.
Everything about flying in coach is beyond suck. The airlines could care less if you are comfortable, or even happy. If you don't like it, maybe you should upgrade next time. If not, then tough darts. Someone else will be glad to take your place If you don't buy that cramped little seat with the blaring loudspeaker overhead and the reading light that doesn't work, and neither does the tray table...if fact the only thing that seems to work is the guy in front of you can recline his seat back to where you can stare at his bald spot...which you can see much better than the jumpy video of the in-flight movie - a remake of Bambi with claymation figures.
I'll bet none of those highly paid Airline execs has ever sat in coach on a four hour flight. Clearly, everything on the airplane is designed for people who are only 4 feet tall. No one could seriously expect real adults to fit in those tiny bathrooms. Every time you begin to dose off, some inane sadist interrupts you with a dumb message about some notable point of interest down on the ground which only a few people who are at the window seats on one side of the aircraft can see anyway.
What? You want food? Get your own! Earphones - Bring your own! Fresh air? Ha ha ha. They laugh at you.
It is hell, I tell you. Roasting for eternity in a fiery pit cannot be less pleasant than riding in coach in a modern aircraft. Except real Hell is forever, instead of only 15-20 hours.
Please do not tell me to "...just get over it, it is the price you have to pay to get somewhere." I say it is inhuman treatment and there ought to be a law against it.
Aside from the lack of bon in the voyage, we had a great vacation. More about which soon.
We have returned from our glorious Hawaiian adventures. I always wanted to be one of those guys who you see in the airport at the arrival gate sporting a deep tan, wearing an Aloha shirt, shorts and sandals and a woven straw hat. But, noting the fact that I am still exceptionally pale, I decided that a travel ensemble of real shoes, socks, long pants and a muted colored shirt would look less goofy. I managed to elude autograph hounds and paparazzi.
Even with on-line check-in, it requires at least 15-20 hours of your life - waiting in the baggage check line, the security check line, at the departure gate, the line to get your seat, sitting while everyone boards, waiting for take-off, and then sitting cramped like a sardine for the 5 hour trip to LAX, then the waiting during the layover before boarding the crowded cramped 6 hour flight to Boston.
Everything about flying in coach is beyond suck. The airlines could care less if you are comfortable, or even happy. If you don't like it, maybe you should upgrade next time. If not, then tough darts. Someone else will be glad to take your place If you don't buy that cramped little seat with the blaring loudspeaker overhead and the reading light that doesn't work, and neither does the tray table...if fact the only thing that seems to work is the guy in front of you can recline his seat back to where you can stare at his bald spot...which you can see much better than the jumpy video of the in-flight movie - a remake of Bambi with claymation figures.
I'll bet none of those highly paid Airline execs has ever sat in coach on a four hour flight. Clearly, everything on the airplane is designed for people who are only 4 feet tall. No one could seriously expect real adults to fit in those tiny bathrooms. Every time you begin to dose off, some inane sadist interrupts you with a dumb message about some notable point of interest down on the ground which only a few people who are at the window seats on one side of the aircraft can see anyway.
What? You want food? Get your own! Earphones - Bring your own! Fresh air? Ha ha ha. They laugh at you.
It is hell, I tell you. Roasting for eternity in a fiery pit cannot be less pleasant than riding in coach in a modern aircraft. Except real Hell is forever, instead of only 15-20 hours.
Please do not tell me to "...just get over it, it is the price you have to pay to get somewhere." I say it is inhuman treatment and there ought to be a law against it.
Aside from the lack of bon in the voyage, we had a great vacation. More about which soon.
3/27/2008
Decisions
Ok. Here it is Thursday. I'm on my way back from the beach. The tide was out and the winds were low today so the waves were gentle (less than 7 feet) and they let me swim in the ocean.
I could stay all day, except for the little detail about the blazing sun and my exceptionally pale complexion. Only a few more days here - we return to the mainland on Monday.
I seem to recall that my dermatologist firmly advised me to go and have a cold beer after spending 30 minutes in the bright light. But, I stopped in the library to get a new book - I have been reading too much fiction - I should check out the Mainland papers and see how my retirement fund is doing. Ah well what could go wrong?
Anyhow, I have an hour on this computer and I could spend it updating the blog... Or, I could go across the street to Pizzettas, where Happy Hour runs from noon to six o'clock, and I can get an icy pint of Kona Red Rock Pale Ale on draft there for $2.50. It's 86 degrees outside and the air conditioner here is not working too well. Hmmn what shall I do?
I could stay all day, except for the little detail about the blazing sun and my exceptionally pale complexion. Only a few more days here - we return to the mainland on Monday.
I seem to recall that my dermatologist firmly advised me to go and have a cold beer after spending 30 minutes in the bright light. But, I stopped in the library to get a new book - I have been reading too much fiction - I should check out the Mainland papers and see how my retirement fund is doing. Ah well what could go wrong?
Anyhow, I have an hour on this computer and I could spend it updating the blog... Or, I could go across the street to Pizzettas, where Happy Hour runs from noon to six o'clock, and I can get an icy pint of Kona Red Rock Pale Ale on draft there for $2.50. It's 86 degrees outside and the air conditioner here is not working too well. Hmmn what shall I do?
3/18/2008
They Don't Celebrate St. Paddy's Day in Paradise
Humph. Like I am the only guy on the Island wearing green socks yesterday, proudly displaying my Irish heritage and beer belly. The locals are not interested in St Patrick. There have never never been any serpents in this Garden Isle - hence the proliferation of wild chickens - and perhaps this fact leaves poor St Patrick as a non-hero in their eyes. I not see a shamrock or a touch o green anywhere. The bars we selling the same Mai Tai and Rum Runner specials, but no Harp or Guinness to be seen anywhere.
I did hear that there was an Irish Pub in Honolulu, but that's a long swim from here. Besides, my keeper only allows me to have 2 beers a day, so it's not like I can party with the other FFI's. (to use the acronym my friend George uses to refer to Fat-faced Irishmen). So I contented myself with a Sam Adams to wash down my Irish Mahimahi at dinner last night.
Today I am back to white socks, and I am not getting the same stares.
I did hear that there was an Irish Pub in Honolulu, but that's a long swim from here. Besides, my keeper only allows me to have 2 beers a day, so it's not like I can party with the other FFI's. (to use the acronym my friend George uses to refer to Fat-faced Irishmen). So I contented myself with a Sam Adams to wash down my Irish Mahimahi at dinner last night.
Today I am back to white socks, and I am not getting the same stares.
3/11/2008
Hot Enough for you?
Greetings from Kaua'i. We are taking refuge from the blasting sun in the Princeville Library, northern end of the island. We ate lunch at Hannalei Bay, the most beutiful beach I have ever seen - with a view of fabled Bali Hi from South Pacific. It is pronounced "Honalayee" - and is reputed to be the inspiration for the old Peter, Paul and Mary song called "Puff the Magic Dragon." The mountains lie like a sprawling dragon along to the west while you look out at 5 foot green rollers.
We are now 6 hours behind Boston. We are watching the closing stock market prices at breakfast.
The other day I was in the surf when the lifeguard whistled me in.
"There's a pretty strong rip in there." he said.
"Yah, I felt it. "
"So, you look like you are doing ok, but it would help if you moved over there..." he pointed to a part of the beach where the waves were less turbid, where the little kids were allowed to swim by themselves.
"Just so nobody sees you in there and thinks they can... you know, gets themselves in trouble..." he gives me a nice friendly grin.
I moved over and floated around in the 2 foot waves . I figured it was just his firendly way of telling me that he is tired of pulling blubbery drowning geezers out of the surf.
They are very worried about tourists drowning here. I guess they lose a few every month. It doesn't look good on their lifeguard resumes, I am sure.
We are having a great time. Stop hating us.
We are now 6 hours behind Boston. We are watching the closing stock market prices at breakfast.
The other day I was in the surf when the lifeguard whistled me in.
"There's a pretty strong rip in there." he said.
"Yah, I felt it. "
"So, you look like you are doing ok, but it would help if you moved over there..." he pointed to a part of the beach where the waves were less turbid, where the little kids were allowed to swim by themselves.
"Just so nobody sees you in there and thinks they can... you know, gets themselves in trouble..." he gives me a nice friendly grin.
I moved over and floated around in the 2 foot waves . I figured it was just his firendly way of telling me that he is tired of pulling blubbery drowning geezers out of the surf.
They are very worried about tourists drowning here. I guess they lose a few every month. It doesn't look good on their lifeguard resumes, I am sure.
We are having a great time. Stop hating us.
2/29/2008
Adventures in Paradise
So, I don't know when I will have access to a computer during the next several weeks, but in the event that you don't see any posts here for a while, I should explain.
We are off to Hawaii. It is a long and arduous trip from the east coast. 6 hrs to LAX, 2 hr layover, 6.5 hours to Lihue in Hawaii. The weather forecast calls for several inches of snow on the ground by tomorrow morning at Logan airport. We are nervous as cats and the cats are getting antsy wondering why we are so jumpy. We don't make eye contact with them because we feel guilty leaving them behind. They will be fine. Our neighbor is coming in daily to feed them.
Don't ask any more questions. I'll fill you in on everything when I get back
We are off to Hawaii. It is a long and arduous trip from the east coast. 6 hrs to LAX, 2 hr layover, 6.5 hours to Lihue in Hawaii. The weather forecast calls for several inches of snow on the ground by tomorrow morning at Logan airport. We are nervous as cats and the cats are getting antsy wondering why we are so jumpy. We don't make eye contact with them because we feel guilty leaving them behind. They will be fine. Our neighbor is coming in daily to feed them.
Don't ask any more questions. I'll fill you in on everything when I get back
2/25/2008
Digging in the Dirt for Truth
I got an email from one of my neocon fans yesterday that quoted another post on some arcane financial blog that hinted that Obama was a closet Muslim, Racist and a relative of bad boys in Africa. How many politicians would stand up to such scrutinty, I wonder. These are the same sources who were outraged at the innuendo of shady dealings with a lobbyist that were alleged in a NYT article about snow-white Juan McAmnesty.
It is difficult to vet every wild accusation, but the link
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/obama.asp#church has responses to some of the rumor and innuendo that is being run up the flagpole.
I find it interesting that the usual Anti-any-thing-democrat factions are targeting Obama, because they fear that he would kick McCain's proud posterior in the general election, but that is politics, eh? They would rather see Mrs. Clinton as the Dem nominee, since most national polls have Hillary being tromped by Juan McAmnesty.
I also find it interesting that we are getting detailed info on his cousins and brothers, but no hard evidence on his deeds, which are after all, the critical measure of performance. I personally do not subscribe to nor do I take credit/blame for the actions and beliefs of my siblings or cousins, do you?
Finally, I find it odd that anti-Obama forces are looking for skeletons in the family closet when the most effective counter to Obama is his own record - or lack of it. Like John Kerry - who spent 20-odd years in the senate without accomplishing anything - Obama has done nothing to qualify him as President of The United States.
In other words he is just as qualified as McCain and Clinton!
It will be fun to see what dirt is dug up on Ralph Nader.
It is difficult to vet every wild accusation, but the link
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/obama.asp#church has responses to some of the rumor and innuendo that is being run up the flagpole.
I find it interesting that the usual Anti-any-thing-democrat factions are targeting Obama, because they fear that he would kick McCain's proud posterior in the general election, but that is politics, eh? They would rather see Mrs. Clinton as the Dem nominee, since most national polls have Hillary being tromped by Juan McAmnesty.
I also find it interesting that we are getting detailed info on his cousins and brothers, but no hard evidence on his deeds, which are after all, the critical measure of performance. I personally do not subscribe to nor do I take credit/blame for the actions and beliefs of my siblings or cousins, do you?
Finally, I find it odd that anti-Obama forces are looking for skeletons in the family closet when the most effective counter to Obama is his own record - or lack of it. Like John Kerry - who spent 20-odd years in the senate without accomplishing anything - Obama has done nothing to qualify him as President of The United States.
In other words he is just as qualified as McCain and Clinton!
It will be fun to see what dirt is dug up on Ralph Nader.
2/21/2008
Your call is not that important to us
I am not anti-technology. However, I have always been critical of the world's worst application of digital technology: Interactive Voice Response (or IVR), which replaces phone-answering humans with automated voice messaging. The worst offender is Verizon - where you cannot talk to a human unless you spend at least ten minutes listening to your options as presented by a pleasant but digitally-mastered dominatrix.
Don't freaking lecture me about operational costs and efficiency. I am only interested in getting someone to give me some compensation for the hassles associated with my FIOS installation. And how come my Rebate Request is th only piece of mail that has been "lost" by USPS in my lifetime?
Your call is important to us, we apologize for the delay, but due to the heavy volume of calls we are making you wait - and possibly waste your valuable time - until for one of the few underpaid agents who probably don't speak your native tongue and who were not trained to handle your problem - can take your call. We apologize for the wait, but in truth, if we really cared, we would have hired more agents and trained them. This call may be monitored to check up on the agent to make sure they are not making personal calls to relatives in India. Thank you for your patience. [distorted Kenny G version of "Georgia on my Mind" plays in an endless loop]
I guess the attitude of management is "Outstanding Customer Service means making callers wait until they give-up in frustration. Hey the competition is just as bad, so, why should we give a crap? That's why we make the big bucks - we save money for the stockholders. Let the customers eat cake."
Thank you for your continued patience.
Don't freaking lecture me about operational costs and efficiency. I am only interested in getting someone to give me some compensation for the hassles associated with my FIOS installation. And how come my Rebate Request is th only piece of mail that has been "lost" by USPS in my lifetime?
Your call is important to us, we apologize for the delay, but due to the heavy volume of calls we are making you wait - and possibly waste your valuable time - until for one of the few underpaid agents who probably don't speak your native tongue and who were not trained to handle your problem - can take your call. We apologize for the wait, but in truth, if we really cared, we would have hired more agents and trained them. This call may be monitored to check up on the agent to make sure they are not making personal calls to relatives in India. Thank you for your patience. [distorted Kenny G version of "Georgia on my Mind" plays in an endless loop]
I guess the attitude of management is "Outstanding Customer Service means making callers wait until they give-up in frustration. Hey the competition is just as bad, so, why should we give a crap? That's why we make the big bucks - we save money for the stockholders. Let the customers eat cake."
Thank you for your continued patience.
2/20/2008
Quick, What's the Number for 9-1-1?
Today, local Boston talk show host Jay Severin 96.9FM was so excited about the swelling body of evidence that Hillary Clinton (Satan) was going to lose the Democratic party's nomination for President, that he expresssed his fear that he would need to call a doctor to treat a case of priapism, which he was certain would last for more than four hours.
2/18/2008
Fair, Balanced & Full of Crap
The latest example of breaking non-news Fox leads with this headline
"Lost JFK Assassination Documents Believed Found in Dallas Courthouse "
So were they found or weren't they? And who is it that believes that they were found?
You would think that reading a story with such a grammatically damaged lead might actually have some useful information. But let me save you from wasting your time - as I did.
They found a (bad) script from the files of a guy who wanted to write the screenplay for a movie. How is this news?
This is on the same day that another headline informs us:
"Gary Coleman Says He and Wife Have Not Yet Made Love"
Did you really need to know that? Doesn't it just drag your mind to places you really didn't want to go?
Ooh ooh wait! Another piece of Hard News demands our urgent attention:
"Father of Dodi al Fayed Blames Royals for Diana's Death at Inquest "
Again, nothing new. No evidence. Only accustations. Ten Years later, still nothing.
Fox is not alone. All the news networks have become so competitive that they rush to be out there with any scintilla of data that they can pump-up to fill the news programs, webpages, airwaves. We who watch TV news are pretty much wasting our time if we sit through all the teasers and commercials expecting facts when they finally get to the "breaking story."
They proudly declare "You saw it here first!"
Who gives a crap about first? We just want the facts, dude."
"Lost JFK Assassination Documents Believed Found in Dallas Courthouse "
So were they found or weren't they? And who is it that believes that they were found?
You would think that reading a story with such a grammatically damaged lead might actually have some useful information. But let me save you from wasting your time - as I did.
They found a (bad) script from the files of a guy who wanted to write the screenplay for a movie. How is this news?
This is on the same day that another headline informs us:
"Gary Coleman Says He and Wife Have Not Yet Made Love"
Did you really need to know that? Doesn't it just drag your mind to places you really didn't want to go?
Ooh ooh wait! Another piece of Hard News demands our urgent attention:
"Father of Dodi al Fayed Blames Royals for Diana's Death at Inquest "
Again, nothing new. No evidence. Only accustations. Ten Years later, still nothing.
Fox is not alone. All the news networks have become so competitive that they rush to be out there with any scintilla of data that they can pump-up to fill the news programs, webpages, airwaves. We who watch TV news are pretty much wasting our time if we sit through all the teasers and commercials expecting facts when they finally get to the "breaking story."
They proudly declare "You saw it here first!"
Who gives a crap about first? We just want the facts, dude."
2/11/2008
Sleeping with the Sharks
Roy Scheider, the hero cop in the monster movie Jaws has died at age 75.
Hmmn, the notice says he won an Oscer for his role in "All That Jazz." Really? I didn't see that one. Not really my kind of flick. About a dancer, I think. Somewhat less macho that the role of shark-killing lawman.
Jaws was an amazing movie on several levels. The screenplay and dialogue were expertly crafted. Virtually nothing in the movie was irrelevant to the story. The use of sound and symbol to get the viewers' hearts racing was scary in its manipulative genius. The lameness of the phony-looking shark head that they used as a prop was overshadowed by the tension of the moment. I recall seeing it in the theater and joining the audience in a audible GASP when the shark finally appears.
The images of that movie have stayed with me (and I suspect many others) ever since then. Even 33 years later, I remain leery when swimming in the ocean deep water. Try not to swim like a wounded fish, I tell myself. Don't go over your head. What's that shadow in the water?
The obit says, "In 2005, one of Scheider's most famous lines in the movie - ''You're gonna need a bigger boat'' - was voted No. 35 on the American Film Institute's list of best quotes from U.S. movies."
I have used that line repeatedly throughout my career as a Business Systems Analyst. During the planning phase of most projects, there comes the moment when you realize that the deadlines are unrealistic given the scope of the plan and the scarcity of resources.
I would use the "We need a bigger boat" line to dramatize the point to inform the boss that we did not have enough resources to do the job well. Usually the boss would look at me and ask "What the [expletive] are you talking about?"
(Ach! The wretchedness of a poet trying to earn a living in the business world.)
I would explain the metaphor to little avail. The project would go on, like the Pequod in "Moby Dick", to meet its fate.
We - the more poetic minded - were fond using shipwreck disaster analogies, like "...rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic" for the irrelevance of many of our meetings and activities in the face of certain doom. (The managers preferred sports imagery like "Winning is the only thing. Losing is not an option.")
Typically, 99 out of 100 corporate system development projects were conceived by upper management types, who were trying to show their superiors that they possessed magical abilities. Thus, they always initiated projects that were under-funded, understaffed, and called for unreasonable deadlines. Somehow, they believed that they could acheive impossible results by exhorting, threatening or seducing the development staff.
It never worked. Not one project in my experience was completed on-time and on-budget. A few were considered successes, but most of them were abandoned before we got to implementation. Strangely enough, only a few of these projects were considered failures.
The wonderful thing about the corporate business world is the short tenure of management. They were always moving-up and away. New guys were always showing-up to take over. The subtle benefit of this executive turnover to the working staff was that none of the new managers felt responsible for projects that they "inherited." They often pronounced the old project obsolete. And then they would started a new major project that had their personal ego stamp on it ...
Thus the life of a corporate systems guy was a constant iteration of beginnings and very few endings - be they triumphant or even quasi-failures.
I never claimed to be the most astute bulb in the drawer, but I realized early-on that in business and politics, no one gets fired for failure. It was not a bad life: The people I worked with were usually fun and our companies spent a lot of money sending us to nice places in the name of training.
...And every now and then, one signs-on to the Project Orca and ends-up swimming home with a pretty good story to tell.
Thanks for the memories, Roy.
Hmmn, the notice says he won an Oscer for his role in "All That Jazz." Really? I didn't see that one. Not really my kind of flick. About a dancer, I think. Somewhat less macho that the role of shark-killing lawman.
Jaws was an amazing movie on several levels. The screenplay and dialogue were expertly crafted. Virtually nothing in the movie was irrelevant to the story. The use of sound and symbol to get the viewers' hearts racing was scary in its manipulative genius. The lameness of the phony-looking shark head that they used as a prop was overshadowed by the tension of the moment. I recall seeing it in the theater and joining the audience in a audible GASP when the shark finally appears.
The images of that movie have stayed with me (and I suspect many others) ever since then. Even 33 years later, I remain leery when swimming in the ocean deep water. Try not to swim like a wounded fish, I tell myself. Don't go over your head. What's that shadow in the water?
The obit says, "In 2005, one of Scheider's most famous lines in the movie - ''You're gonna need a bigger boat'' - was voted No. 35 on the American Film Institute's list of best quotes from U.S. movies."
I have used that line repeatedly throughout my career as a Business Systems Analyst. During the planning phase of most projects, there comes the moment when you realize that the deadlines are unrealistic given the scope of the plan and the scarcity of resources.
I would use the "We need a bigger boat" line to dramatize the point to inform the boss that we did not have enough resources to do the job well. Usually the boss would look at me and ask "What the [expletive] are you talking about?"
(Ach! The wretchedness of a poet trying to earn a living in the business world.)
I would explain the metaphor to little avail. The project would go on, like the Pequod in "Moby Dick", to meet its fate.
We - the more poetic minded - were fond using shipwreck disaster analogies, like "...rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic" for the irrelevance of many of our meetings and activities in the face of certain doom. (The managers preferred sports imagery like "Winning is the only thing. Losing is not an option.")
Typically, 99 out of 100 corporate system development projects were conceived by upper management types, who were trying to show their superiors that they possessed magical abilities. Thus, they always initiated projects that were under-funded, understaffed, and called for unreasonable deadlines. Somehow, they believed that they could acheive impossible results by exhorting, threatening or seducing the development staff.
It never worked. Not one project in my experience was completed on-time and on-budget. A few were considered successes, but most of them were abandoned before we got to implementation. Strangely enough, only a few of these projects were considered failures.
The wonderful thing about the corporate business world is the short tenure of management. They were always moving-up and away. New guys were always showing-up to take over. The subtle benefit of this executive turnover to the working staff was that none of the new managers felt responsible for projects that they "inherited." They often pronounced the old project obsolete. And then they would started a new major project that had their personal ego stamp on it ...
Thus the life of a corporate systems guy was a constant iteration of beginnings and very few endings - be they triumphant or even quasi-failures.
I never claimed to be the most astute bulb in the drawer, but I realized early-on that in business and politics, no one gets fired for failure. It was not a bad life: The people I worked with were usually fun and our companies spent a lot of money sending us to nice places in the name of training.
...And every now and then, one signs-on to the Project Orca and ends-up swimming home with a pretty good story to tell.
Thanks for the memories, Roy.
2/08/2008
Another One Bites the Dust
Now Mitt Romney is out of it. I find this pretty annoying, because it means I wasted my vote last Tuesday. Very annoying. Mitt is doing the same thing with his campaign that he did for Massachusetts - abandoning it to improve his chances on the next election. He knows that McCain cannot beat the Democrat in November, so the Repubs will be looking for a rising star in 2012. (This also gives Mitt another four years to establish residency in a few more key delegate states :-)
The Caucus and Primary process clearly demonstrates that the public is an ignorant ass. As far as I can see, the main difference between Juan McAmnesty and [Obama/Clinton] is the fact that Juan supports US military presence in Iraq.
They are all equally soft on illegal immigration.
None of them think English should be the official language of the US.
None of them has any significant experience administering anything.
All of them are slippery Washington Politicians.
The list could go on, but you get the point. As Ross Perot used to remind us, there is not a whit of difference between the 2 main political parties - especially after they get elected.
If I had to vote today, I think I would seriously consider Obama. Not because I think he sucks less than the others, but electing a man of color would de facto prove that we are not a racist nation, and hopefully that will help put race-whores like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton out of "work". That might force them to get real jobs, so they could pay into the system for a change. Hey, there's a dream worth voting for....
The Caucus and Primary process clearly demonstrates that the public is an ignorant ass. As far as I can see, the main difference between Juan McAmnesty and [Obama/Clinton] is the fact that Juan supports US military presence in Iraq.
They are all equally soft on illegal immigration.
None of them think English should be the official language of the US.
None of them has any significant experience administering anything.
All of them are slippery Washington Politicians.
The list could go on, but you get the point. As Ross Perot used to remind us, there is not a whit of difference between the 2 main political parties - especially after they get elected.
If I had to vote today, I think I would seriously consider Obama. Not because I think he sucks less than the others, but electing a man of color would de facto prove that we are not a racist nation, and hopefully that will help put race-whores like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton out of "work". That might force them to get real jobs, so they could pay into the system for a change. Hey, there's a dream worth voting for....
2/04/2008
They Wanted it More
Today the awareness of what happened yesterday in Arizona begins to sink in on the New England faithful. The numbness of the unexpected defeat has worn off. And so has the magic aura of the unbeatable Patriots.
While most of the rest of the country occupies itself by watching re-runs of the Superbowl ads and voting on their popularity, New York becomes the gloating capital of the Earth and the pitiful New England fans must wallow in the empty tub of defeat.
They lost. How could this happen? Some may blame it on the jinx of Belichick's abandoning his traditional gray hoodie for that gay red sweatshirt. Some will say that the New York Giants "wanted it more." Some will blame the loss on the distractions of the two week pre-game hyporama. A few will blame it on Hillary Clinton.
The fact is, New York protected Eli Manning all day. They harried and hurried Tom Brady, got him out of his rhythm and made him throw some bad passes. "They scored more points" as one perceptive analyst noted.
Well, I am not going to kick any cats today. It would have been fun to see the Pats win again, but the truth is, next season will be more interesting now. Let's hope the coach stops wearing that unlucky sweatshirt. .
It wasn't a total loss - I won $50 in the game betting pool. And, now the cancelled Boston victory parade will not interfere with Super Tuesday primary voting.
I wonder what they will do with all the champagne they were going to squirt at each other....
Congratulations to the Giants and their fans. Go ahead and gloat!
While most of the rest of the country occupies itself by watching re-runs of the Superbowl ads and voting on their popularity, New York becomes the gloating capital of the Earth and the pitiful New England fans must wallow in the empty tub of defeat.
They lost. How could this happen? Some may blame it on the jinx of Belichick's abandoning his traditional gray hoodie for that gay red sweatshirt. Some will say that the New York Giants "wanted it more." Some will blame the loss on the distractions of the two week pre-game hyporama. A few will blame it on Hillary Clinton.
The fact is, New York protected Eli Manning all day. They harried and hurried Tom Brady, got him out of his rhythm and made him throw some bad passes. "They scored more points" as one perceptive analyst noted.
Well, I am not going to kick any cats today. It would have been fun to see the Pats win again, but the truth is, next season will be more interesting now. Let's hope the coach stops wearing that unlucky sweatshirt. .
It wasn't a total loss - I won $50 in the game betting pool. And, now the cancelled Boston victory parade will not interfere with Super Tuesday primary voting.
I wonder what they will do with all the champagne they were going to squirt at each other....
Congratulations to the Giants and their fans. Go ahead and gloat!
Lord knows, we would have
1/18/2008
Zoo Etiquette
"Never Taunt a Tiger" --- Dead Kid at San Francisco Zoo
In the news today, one of the survivors of the tiger attack in San Francisco Zoo has now admitted that he and two others had been drunk and disorderly, standing on the fence, taunting the tiger that killed one of them.
They apparently never read the gripping story "The Tiger's Revenge" by Claude Balls.
I am not alone in my sense that it was a tragic loss of an innocent life because the police shot and killed the tiger.
In the news today, one of the survivors of the tiger attack in San Francisco Zoo has now admitted that he and two others had been drunk and disorderly, standing on the fence, taunting the tiger that killed one of them.
They apparently never read the gripping story "The Tiger's Revenge" by Claude Balls.
I am not alone in my sense that it was a tragic loss of an innocent life because the police shot and killed the tiger.
1/05/2008
Skip this Post
This is not a political blog, but as I am not currently working , I do not have some hideous Hellhole or clueless, ego-driven management to rail about, I yield to the countless fans who have e-mailed me with requests to discuss my viewpoint on the current political scene. (Oh, and thanks to both of you for writing).
So, if you are not interested in yet another boring narrative, please skip this post.
I have not decided on my choice for President yet. I could vote for Obama if he promises to appoint Oprah as his UN Ambassador :-) . Maya Angelou has come out in favor of Hillary, which is another nail in the Clinton coffin, as far as I am concerned. I used to think Hillary was smart and competent, but the more I hear of her talking about experience, I am forced to ask myself, "What experience? What was accomplished?" Obama, same question. I would not vote for Edwards for dog catcher. I see him as another oily professional Pol who would sell his grandmother to get ahead. Besides, if he is right, the special interests will ruin him in an election, painting him as a philandering ambulance chaser
On the other side, I'm leaning toward Mitt. I am a pretty active flip-flopper myself, so it doesn't bother me that he has made a few adjustments in the way he thinks about some of the so-called core issues. Consistency is less important than thought process. (Consistency means being just as ignorant as you were last year). I think Mitt has the credentials to do the job, and dammit he looks and sounds like a President. Rudy Giuliani could get my vote too. I think he has the most experience of anyone running. McCain has too much baggage; he seems too old, and too compromised by his years as a Pol. (I did vote for him in the 2000 Primary, but back then, the competition was weaker).
As far as the debates are concerned, I am boycotting both of tonight's scheduled presentations, not that anyone will notice. My reasons for not watching are threefold: 1) I have already seen enough of the mainstream candidates. I know what they think about everything. 2) I decry the involuntary elimination of the Libertarian voices on both sides. Without the ideas expressed by these guys (Kucinich on the Dem side and Ron Paul on the GOP side) we get nothing interesting or new. For example, I want to hear Mitt and Rudy argue against Ron Paul's call to bring all our troops home from foreign bases. 3) One of my new years resolutions is to re-arrange my sock drawer. I think that will be more stimulating than listening to the mass-debators.
So, if you are not interested in yet another boring narrative, please skip this post.
I have not decided on my choice for President yet. I could vote for Obama if he promises to appoint Oprah as his UN Ambassador :-) . Maya Angelou has come out in favor of Hillary, which is another nail in the Clinton coffin, as far as I am concerned. I used to think Hillary was smart and competent, but the more I hear of her talking about experience, I am forced to ask myself, "What experience? What was accomplished?" Obama, same question. I would not vote for Edwards for dog catcher. I see him as another oily professional Pol who would sell his grandmother to get ahead. Besides, if he is right, the special interests will ruin him in an election, painting him as a philandering ambulance chaser
On the other side, I'm leaning toward Mitt. I am a pretty active flip-flopper myself, so it doesn't bother me that he has made a few adjustments in the way he thinks about some of the so-called core issues. Consistency is less important than thought process. (Consistency means being just as ignorant as you were last year). I think Mitt has the credentials to do the job, and dammit he looks and sounds like a President. Rudy Giuliani could get my vote too. I think he has the most experience of anyone running. McCain has too much baggage; he seems too old, and too compromised by his years as a Pol. (I did vote for him in the 2000 Primary, but back then, the competition was weaker).
As far as the debates are concerned, I am boycotting both of tonight's scheduled presentations, not that anyone will notice. My reasons for not watching are threefold: 1) I have already seen enough of the mainstream candidates. I know what they think about everything. 2) I decry the involuntary elimination of the Libertarian voices on both sides. Without the ideas expressed by these guys (Kucinich on the Dem side and Ron Paul on the GOP side) we get nothing interesting or new. For example, I want to hear Mitt and Rudy argue against Ron Paul's call to bring all our troops home from foreign bases. 3) One of my new years resolutions is to re-arrange my sock drawer. I think that will be more stimulating than listening to the mass-debators.
1/04/2008
Iowa? So What?
You cannot turn on your TV or radio without hearing the blather about the Iowa caucuses. Who, other than Iowans, gives a crap about what they think?
How many delegates to the party conventions were gained by the winners? Hmmn.
I think this is another example of the media masturbating and making us watch.
Nothing has been decided. The finish line is quite a way down the road.
Why did Dodd and Biden quit? It is bothersome that these guys waited until the poll of a meaningless gathering of farmers (who were never going to vote for either one anyhow) to decide their viability.
Go ahead, call me a dumbass. But I don't get it.
How many delegates to the party conventions were gained by the winners? Hmmn.
I think this is another example of the media masturbating and making us watch.
Nothing has been decided. The finish line is quite a way down the road.
Why did Dodd and Biden quit? It is bothersome that these guys waited until the poll of a meaningless gathering of farmers (who were never going to vote for either one anyhow) to decide their viability.
Go ahead, call me a dumbass. But I don't get it.
1/02/2008
The Truth about your phone
Ok now I'm really becoming disillusioned. Like most everyone, I have spent the past 60 odd years since I learned to read, believing that Alexander Graham Bell was the inventer of the telephone. There must be a dozen biographies and virtually every schoolboy history book that relate the story of how he called Mr Watson to come and help him using his new invention.
Now it seems this historical fact Americana must be tossed into the dumpster labeled FRAUDs. The latest story is that he copied someone else's design. See the story.
Bell is credited with saying " Before anything else, preparation is the key to success. " Who knew that what he really meant was "Steal the other guy's idea and beat him to the patent office and you will be rich!"
This is sad, because it reminds us that it is almost impossible for us to know the truth about anything. Those who feel secure that they know what happened in the past are kidding themselves.
The recent assassination of Mrs Bhutto is a case in point. Thousands of people were there. Camera's were rolling. Bang bang booom! Nearly a week later, we still do not know for sure whether she died of Bullets, bomb blast, head trauma from bumping into the moon-roof latch or heart attack.
Just as surely as there are doubts about whether we actually landed on the moon, or whether the government is hiding the truth about September 11th, and on and on; it seems we can never take any "fact" at face value.
Next thing we'll be hearing is that Al Gore didn't invent "Global Warming"
Now it seems this historical fact Americana must be tossed into the dumpster labeled FRAUDs. The latest story is that he copied someone else's design. See the story.
Bell is credited with saying " Before anything else, preparation is the key to success. " Who knew that what he really meant was "Steal the other guy's idea and beat him to the patent office and you will be rich!"
This is sad, because it reminds us that it is almost impossible for us to know the truth about anything. Those who feel secure that they know what happened in the past are kidding themselves.
The recent assassination of Mrs Bhutto is a case in point. Thousands of people were there. Camera's were rolling. Bang bang booom! Nearly a week later, we still do not know for sure whether she died of Bullets, bomb blast, head trauma from bumping into the moon-roof latch or heart attack.
Just as surely as there are doubts about whether we actually landed on the moon, or whether the government is hiding the truth about September 11th, and on and on; it seems we can never take any "fact" at face value.
Next thing we'll be hearing is that Al Gore didn't invent "Global Warming"
12/15/2007
Daemon in The House
It is that dreaded time of year again. Each year ,when December comes around, we get a reminder from the Animal Hospital that it is once again time for Angryclaws to go and get her rabies shot. Each year we put off the inevitable as long as we can, but as the days get shorter and shorter we face up.
It usually takes two or three tries to capture and cage her for the journey to the Vet's. You would be surprised how difficult it is to restrain a small un-sedated Siamese cat. The Vet is very reluctant to give us sleepy pills for the cat – I don’t know why.
My wife suspects that they regard us as perhaps unworthy of cat ownership since we seem to have so much trouble managing such a simple task as bringing a small cat to get her annual shots. They do not believe my daemonic possession theory, but I am sticking to it.
Naturally, after the trauma of being caught and caged – which always involves a chase and entrapment by a big guy with oven mitts for hands - she is eventually caged, then the car ride to the vet’s office, then is placed on that cold stainless steel examination table, Angryclaws is paralyzed by fear and seems like the most docile compliant little darling the Vet has ever encountered. She even lets the vet trim her talon-like claws. Nice little kitty, they say.
Last year, we almost had to face a judge to answer for our bad-owner crimes. We do not want that to happen again. So, this year we have promised ourselves to get her to the Vets early so she can get the multi year shot. My wife thinks the cats are clairvoyant. On the morning of the appointment with the vet, they are nowhere to be seen. They will not come out for food or other enticement. There have been no clues – the cage has not been brought up from the basement yet.
“Maybe they can read the calendar,” I suggest.
“No, they are the devil, " she says, while swabbing hydrogen peroxide on the deep scratch she received from Angry-Claws during this morning's struggle. With her good hand, she dials the vet to tell them that we can’t make our appointment again this year.
We imagine the staff at the Animal Hospital shaking their collective heads. They judge us to be incompetent. Maybe the feline social service agency will come and take the cats away. Please God!
It usually takes two or three tries to capture and cage her for the journey to the Vet's. You would be surprised how difficult it is to restrain a small un-sedated Siamese cat. The Vet is very reluctant to give us sleepy pills for the cat – I don’t know why.
My wife suspects that they regard us as perhaps unworthy of cat ownership since we seem to have so much trouble managing such a simple task as bringing a small cat to get her annual shots. They do not believe my daemonic possession theory, but I am sticking to it.
Naturally, after the trauma of being caught and caged – which always involves a chase and entrapment by a big guy with oven mitts for hands - she is eventually caged, then the car ride to the vet’s office, then is placed on that cold stainless steel examination table, Angryclaws is paralyzed by fear and seems like the most docile compliant little darling the Vet has ever encountered. She even lets the vet trim her talon-like claws. Nice little kitty, they say.
Last year, we almost had to face a judge to answer for our bad-owner crimes. We do not want that to happen again. So, this year we have promised ourselves to get her to the Vets early so she can get the multi year shot. My wife thinks the cats are clairvoyant. On the morning of the appointment with the vet, they are nowhere to be seen. They will not come out for food or other enticement. There have been no clues – the cage has not been brought up from the basement yet.
“Maybe they can read the calendar,” I suggest.
“No, they are the devil, " she says, while swabbing hydrogen peroxide on the deep scratch she received from Angry-Claws during this morning's struggle. With her good hand, she dials the vet to tell them that we can’t make our appointment again this year.
We imagine the staff at the Animal Hospital shaking their collective heads. They judge us to be incompetent. Maybe the feline social service agency will come and take the cats away. Please God!
12/13/2007
What's Next Dept.
News Item: “London. A lock of John Lennon's hair sold for $48,000 Wednesday in an auction of Beatles' memorabilia…”
Have I got a deal! 20 Locks of my hair for $19.99. Assorted fingernail clippings $4.99
And bodily fluids – Priceless! Please include the nonrefundable fee of only $9.99 for shipping and handling. Visa and MC accepted.
Have I got a deal! 20 Locks of my hair for $19.99. Assorted fingernail clippings $4.99
And bodily fluids – Priceless! Please include the nonrefundable fee of only $9.99 for shipping and handling. Visa and MC accepted.
12/10/2007
Granny Git Yur Gun
News Item: "Orlando, FL ...A 63-year-old grandmother was released from the Orange County jail Monday morning. Mary Ann Richardson of Pennsylvania was arrested for trying to take a loaded handgun into a Disney theme park."
Finally, the justification for checking old ladies' handbags. Guards everywhere must be feeling just a bit more self-righteous than usual today.
http://www.wftv.com/news/14808302/detail.html?iref=werecommend
12/09/2007
Shooting Galleria
"(CNN) -- Colorado police were searching Sunday for a gunman who opened fire at a live-in training center for Christian missionaries, wounding four youths, a police spokeswoman said."
The lamest of arguments by pro-gunners in the most recent Midwest mall shooting was "If more people were armed, someone might have stopped the killer." This is a fictitious absurdity that defies every test of logic and human understanding. Name me one pistol-carrying citizen - other than Bruce Willis - who would engage in a gun battle with a lunatic wielding an AK-47 ?
Don't get me wrong; I am not anti-gun. On the contrary, I believe that sane adult citizens who are not convicted criminals ought to be able to have defensive weapons sufficient to protect their life and property. I do not think AK-47's and Bazooka's fit the definition of defensive weapons.
The chief problem for me is: how do you keep a defensive weapon accessible to the adult in charge in the event of a home invasion, but not in a place/condition where a young inquisitive kid or grand kid might be able to pull the trigger? Weapons are perfectly safe especially when unloaded and stored in a locked cabinet.
There are many areas of the US where hunting for wild game is part of the local culture. I do not see why this needs to change. But, does any thoughtful person think that the second amendment was worded the way it was because the Founding Fathers wanted to ensure that every citizen would always have the right to keep and bear weapons of mass destruction?
Meanwhile, I am staying on the couch watching football all day today. It is not safe to go outside.
Here we go: Another crazed gunman in the news this morning. I guess if someone needs to go out and shoot someone, religious extremists in training would get my vote as the most logical targets. Ok. that was a joke. Please don't get me fired.
I was just thinking: With all of the recent public shooting incidents, even the most rabid Gun-rights-advocates must feel a smidgen of doubt as to whether it is a good thing to allow any crazoid with the price of a Saturday night special to exercise his unfettered "right to carry".
The lamest of arguments by pro-gunners in the most recent Midwest mall shooting was "If more people were armed, someone might have stopped the killer." This is a fictitious absurdity that defies every test of logic and human understanding. Name me one pistol-carrying citizen - other than Bruce Willis - who would engage in a gun battle with a lunatic wielding an AK-47 ?
Don't get me wrong; I am not anti-gun. On the contrary, I believe that sane adult citizens who are not convicted criminals ought to be able to have defensive weapons sufficient to protect their life and property. I do not think AK-47's and Bazooka's fit the definition of defensive weapons.
The chief problem for me is: how do you keep a defensive weapon accessible to the adult in charge in the event of a home invasion, but not in a place/condition where a young inquisitive kid or grand kid might be able to pull the trigger? Weapons are perfectly safe especially when unloaded and stored in a locked cabinet.
There are many areas of the US where hunting for wild game is part of the local culture. I do not see why this needs to change. But, does any thoughtful person think that the second amendment was worded the way it was because the Founding Fathers wanted to ensure that every citizen would always have the right to keep and bear weapons of mass destruction?
When asked about his weapon ownership at the last debate, Fred Thompson refused to disclose the types or locations of weapons he owned this got a cheer from the NRA die-hards. This was a manifestation of another pretzel-logic interpretation of the intent of the founding fathers -- that they wanted citizens to be privately armed (i.e., as a militia) a safeguard against totalitarian government.
The idea of armed revolt borders on silly when you think of trying to mount a take-over in a modern country like the USA. The government already violates every one of your god-given rights every day. They would come and crush your little revolt before coffee break time. I dare you to do something about it!
Meanwhile, I am staying on the couch watching football all day today. It is not safe to go outside.
12/04/2007
Stolen
If New England goes on to enjoy an "undefeated" record this season, there should always be an asterisk to footnote the game against the Baltimore Ravens which the Patriots lost last night, despite the final score.
The game should have been over with the Ravens up by three points on a failed 4th down N.E. play in the final minute of the game. Then, to the shock and amazement of everyone, the play was called back because of a bonehead coach who had called for a time-out just as the ball was about to be snapped. Retainig possession, the patriots scored a few plays later.
If that wasn't enough, one of the Baltimore players incurred two 15 yard bad sportsmanship penalties for an untimely meltdown. That cost the Ravens a chance to return a kickoff. We'll never know if that made a difference but their special teams had been having some pretty good runbacks all night.
And still, the game ended with time running out on a hail mary pass that was caught on the two yard line. Two more yards and maybe 5 seconds would have made a big difference. Baltimore played an excellent game and everyone who watched the game knows that they wuz robbed.
The game should have been over with the Ravens up by three points on a failed 4th down N.E. play in the final minute of the game. Then, to the shock and amazement of everyone, the play was called back because of a bonehead coach who had called for a time-out just as the ball was about to be snapped. Retainig possession, the patriots scored a few plays later.
If that wasn't enough, one of the Baltimore players incurred two 15 yard bad sportsmanship penalties for an untimely meltdown. That cost the Ravens a chance to return a kickoff. We'll never know if that made a difference but their special teams had been having some pretty good runbacks all night.
And still, the game ended with time running out on a hail mary pass that was caught on the two yard line. Two more yards and maybe 5 seconds would have made a big difference. Baltimore played an excellent game and everyone who watched the game knows that they wuz robbed.
12/02/2007
Raking Leaves
Sunday. There was no Patriots game on TV today so I decided to work in the yard. I just came in from raking three tons of leaves that were blown into my front yard by yesterday’s wind. I don’t have any deciduous trees on my property – someone tell me why I have to rake all these leaves. (Sometimes I feel like going around the neighborhood and asking the neighbors to come and get their leaves. )
But, I guess sharing dog and tree droppings with your neighbors is just a few examples of the price one pays to live in the “leafy suburbs” - as the newspapers like to call the towns outside of the commuter parking lot (Route 128) that encircles Boston to the west.
The forecast for tonight is snow. It feels like it. The air is cold, still, full of moisture.
I am flushed from the invigoration of 3 hours of exercise. (No, dear, it’s not from the frosty Sierra Nevada that I am enjoying as I recount my afternoon's labors.)
I have always enjoyed raking leaves. It is one of those tasks that you can do and then point to the results. Look everyone, I made a difference. See how nice my lawn looks. Look at that pile of leaves!
Most of my working life was spent in the corporate arena. I was usually involved with info systems development projects in some sort of coordinating role. The fun parts where I was actually doing data analysis or defining systems requirements were considerably offset by hours of tedious, ego centric staff meetings or pressure-cooker emergencies created by some clueless, but powerful executive.
Sitting in stalled expressway traffic on the way home after a day of meetings and unnecessary stress, a voice would ask, “What have I accomplished?” Usually, the answer was something like “Well, I earned a day’s pay and I didn’t get fired.” Then I would come home and have a few scotches to help erase the indignity of working in a bureaucracy[1].
Given the sedentary and cyclical nature of my professional life, I always got a great deal of satisfaction from active tasks that gave a measurable result: Painting a wall, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, writing my blog – all these efforts produced a visible result. [2]
The other thing I just noticed about my list: I am my own boss.
-- er, what's that dear? Yes I'm almost done. No, this is only my first beer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Since I have been “on sabbatical” I have reduced my alcohol consumption by 800%.
[2] Perhaps I would have been happier in my work life if I had been a builder….…of bridges.
But, I guess sharing dog and tree droppings with your neighbors is just a few examples of the price one pays to live in the “leafy suburbs” - as the newspapers like to call the towns outside of the commuter parking lot (Route 128) that encircles Boston to the west.
The forecast for tonight is snow. It feels like it. The air is cold, still, full of moisture.
I am flushed from the invigoration of 3 hours of exercise. (No, dear, it’s not from the frosty Sierra Nevada that I am enjoying as I recount my afternoon's labors.)
I have always enjoyed raking leaves. It is one of those tasks that you can do and then point to the results. Look everyone, I made a difference. See how nice my lawn looks. Look at that pile of leaves!
Most of my working life was spent in the corporate arena. I was usually involved with info systems development projects in some sort of coordinating role. The fun parts where I was actually doing data analysis or defining systems requirements were considerably offset by hours of tedious, ego centric staff meetings or pressure-cooker emergencies created by some clueless, but powerful executive.
Sitting in stalled expressway traffic on the way home after a day of meetings and unnecessary stress, a voice would ask, “What have I accomplished?” Usually, the answer was something like “Well, I earned a day’s pay and I didn’t get fired.” Then I would come home and have a few scotches to help erase the indignity of working in a bureaucracy[1].
Given the sedentary and cyclical nature of my professional life, I always got a great deal of satisfaction from active tasks that gave a measurable result: Painting a wall, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, writing my blog – all these efforts produced a visible result. [2]
The other thing I just noticed about my list: I am my own boss.
-- er, what's that dear? Yes I'm almost done. No, this is only my first beer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Since I have been “on sabbatical” I have reduced my alcohol consumption by 800%.
[2] Perhaps I would have been happier in my work life if I had been a builder….…of bridges.
11/15/2007
Beerflation
The stock market is starting to give me agita lately - with daily fluctuations of hundreds of points up and down. When you are on a fixed income and contemplating the ratio between estimated remaining years of life and Asset value, the only way you can achieve serenity is the perceived assurance that things – money markets, real estate prices, costs – will be somewhat predictable. We already know that in 20 years it will take $200 dollars to buy the same stuff that you can get for $100 today. And that is adjusting for predictable levels of inflation. So, in this context, even a million dollar “nest egg” does not look too large. Years ago, a million was considered a fortune. Today, it is barely enough to get by.
I am already older than I ever planned to be. I have never had a“retirement plan” in terms of dream home or fabulous trips, or a life of affluent indolence. The truth is that I am in constant flux between wanting to go back to work to grub a few more bucks OR enjoying my few remaining years in a two-star pasture. We can’t afford to buy a villa in France, but we could swing a half acre in South Carolina or some rural venue. But, what’s the point of moving away from family and friends just to save a few bucks? Why does everything in life have to be a trade-off between need and want. Sometimes it’s very hard to distinguish between the two.
I try not to worry about it – worry makes you die younger. (On the other hand, dying younger eliminates the problem of outliving the money. )
Ech. I need to think about something else….
Ah, here we have some recent news on the health scene:
Like the stock market, recent reports from scientific studies about obesity are full of contrary news. At the same time that “researchers” are wringing their hands about the fears that we are raising a generation of fat kids, we are getting new reports that being chubby is good.
Now, I have never been in favor of going to a gym to use one of those workout machines. The idea of doing exercise for the sheer purpose of burning calories has always seemed fruitless to me. When I see phalanxes of people in sweaty togs working-out in a gym they evoke images of gerbils running on a treadmill, huffing and puffing, going nowhere. And, aerobics is just as stupid. (If you feel like dancing, why not go to a club where they sell beer?)
Now, purposeful exercise is good; If I am going to get sweaty, I want there to be a visible result – the lawn is mown, the driveway is shoveled, a stack of wood is cut. If I am walking, I want to get somewhere – to the top of a mountain, or maybe to the convenience store where I buy lottery tickets.
As a result of this kind of thought process, being “in shape” has always been a few bus stops down the road from where I am standing at any given moment.
But recent medical news would lead me to believe that my doctors have been wrong! I should be drinking more wine and beer, avoiding diets and encouraging my spouse to have a big ass.
Researchers have recently reported that overweight people have a lower death rate because they are much less likely to die from Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, infections and lung disease.
So what’s a food-loving chubster supposed to do with all this information? My approach is simple: Search the web for evidence that supports the position you want to believe in.
Just as the case with politics, you can find some fringe web site that can “quoted” and presented as faux evidence of virtually any position you choose.
In the 1973 Movie “Sleeper,” Woody Allen depicted a future world where chocolate was deemed to be good for you. How prescient.
And maybe drinking beer will someday be shown to cure cancer and improve one’s investment portfolio. It could happen. Stay tuned.
I am already older than I ever planned to be. I have never had a“retirement plan” in terms of dream home or fabulous trips, or a life of affluent indolence. The truth is that I am in constant flux between wanting to go back to work to grub a few more bucks OR enjoying my few remaining years in a two-star pasture. We can’t afford to buy a villa in France, but we could swing a half acre in South Carolina or some rural venue. But, what’s the point of moving away from family and friends just to save a few bucks? Why does everything in life have to be a trade-off between need and want. Sometimes it’s very hard to distinguish between the two.
I try not to worry about it – worry makes you die younger. (On the other hand, dying younger eliminates the problem of outliving the money. )
Ech. I need to think about something else….
Ah, here we have some recent news on the health scene:
Like the stock market, recent reports from scientific studies about obesity are full of contrary news. At the same time that “researchers” are wringing their hands about the fears that we are raising a generation of fat kids, we are getting new reports that being chubby is good.
Now, I have never been in favor of going to a gym to use one of those workout machines. The idea of doing exercise for the sheer purpose of burning calories has always seemed fruitless to me. When I see phalanxes of people in sweaty togs working-out in a gym they evoke images of gerbils running on a treadmill, huffing and puffing, going nowhere. And, aerobics is just as stupid. (If you feel like dancing, why not go to a club where they sell beer?)
Now, purposeful exercise is good; If I am going to get sweaty, I want there to be a visible result – the lawn is mown, the driveway is shoveled, a stack of wood is cut. If I am walking, I want to get somewhere – to the top of a mountain, or maybe to the convenience store where I buy lottery tickets.
As a result of this kind of thought process, being “in shape” has always been a few bus stops down the road from where I am standing at any given moment.
But recent medical news would lead me to believe that my doctors have been wrong! I should be drinking more wine and beer, avoiding diets and encouraging my spouse to have a big ass.
Researchers have recently reported that overweight people have a lower death rate because they are much less likely to die from Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, infections and lung disease.
So what’s a food-loving chubster supposed to do with all this information? My approach is simple: Search the web for evidence that supports the position you want to believe in.
Just as the case with politics, you can find some fringe web site that can “quoted” and presented as faux evidence of virtually any position you choose.
In the 1973 Movie “Sleeper,” Woody Allen depicted a future world where chocolate was deemed to be good for you. How prescient.
And maybe drinking beer will someday be shown to cure cancer and improve one’s investment portfolio. It could happen. Stay tuned.
11/12/2007
Where's the Boef, Ben?
Gisele Bundchen a Brazilian model (and Tom Brady's current girlfriend) is getting a lot of free publicity these days because she "prefers to be paid in Euro's." This is a story that tickles our fancy. It was first noted in a WSJ editorial claiming, "The Brazilian supermodel is reportedly now insisting that she be paid in a currency other than the U.S. dollar." So, which is it? Does she simply prefer Euros to dollars? (This would put her in the same league as non Brazilian, non-supermodel Warren Buffet.)
It seems that the WSJ is guilty of either a) Bad reporting or B) "Hey, it's a slow news week! We're just whipping-up some good old fashioned Nationalistic spirit. Gisele makes a good target - she is Brazilian, Rich, and Nubile. Most of us are none of the above - let's gang up and hate her. "
It seems that the WSJ is guilty of either a) Bad reporting or B) "Hey, it's a slow news week! We're just whipping-up some good old fashioned Nationalistic spirit. Gisele makes a good target - she is Brazilian, Rich, and Nubile. Most of us are none of the above - let's gang up and hate her. "
I'm thinking of writing a letter to the Social Security Administration to inform them that "henceforth, it would be preferable" if my monthly check would be paid in Euro's instead of those near-worthless U.S. Dollars. The Canadian Loony is worth as much as a USD these days, for freaks sake!
This never happened when there was a democratic president in office.
10/30/2007
The Ultimate Blog
Today in the paper there is an obituary for 89 year old Robert Sheilds who spent 4 hrs a day writing in a diary about the last 20 hrs. Pretty interesting life, you assume, but how interesting can it be when you waste 4 precious hours detailing bodily functions and mundane events?
The piece says his diary contains more than 37 million words, which may be a record-setter for pure verbosity. Not only that, he compiled a chronofile scrapbook where he pasted letters, copies of bills and even a clipping of his nose hairs.
The Obit says that "he had three dozen ways, none obscene, to describe his urinations, all recorded." I cannot come up with more than a few ways to describe urination and most of them are obscene.
Whatever complaints you may have with my journal, you may be thankful that I have not pasted any nosehairs. (Oops nature is calling - excuse me while I take a number 7)
While on that subject, I wonder if there been any scientific inquiry into one aspect of aging, where the hair on your head starts growing thinner, but you start sprouting hair from your ears? What gives with that? Note to self: New product Idea: lazer ear hair remover. Great chiristmas gift for the geezer on your list!
The piece says his diary contains more than 37 million words, which may be a record-setter for pure verbosity. Not only that, he compiled a chronofile scrapbook where he pasted letters, copies of bills and even a clipping of his nose hairs.
The Obit says that "he had three dozen ways, none obscene, to describe his urinations, all recorded." I cannot come up with more than a few ways to describe urination and most of them are obscene.
Whatever complaints you may have with my journal, you may be thankful that I have not pasted any nosehairs. (Oops nature is calling - excuse me while I take a number 7)
While on that subject, I wonder if there been any scientific inquiry into one aspect of aging, where the hair on your head starts growing thinner, but you start sprouting hair from your ears? What gives with that? Note to self: New product Idea: lazer ear hair remover. Great chiristmas gift for the geezer on your list!
Bobby Who?
It is one of those times when I play my collection of CD's instead of listening to live radio or TV. For some reason, the media programming geniuses have decided that everyone in New England is giddy with the World Series win over the Rockies in a 4 game sweep. Those who see themselves as part of "Red Sox Nation" yell "We won!"
We Did? I don't know who the We is, since I did nothing more than drink beer and sit on my lard ass on the sofa , doing my bills, organizing my socks and playing video poker during the volumes of repeated commercials. Occasionally, I would look up during those rare moments of drama when somebody actually hit a ball far enough that they could run to a base.
Ok I'm exaggerating. I did watch the most of the games, because I generally enjoy a good athletic contest, and the playoffs are the only time when the players seem to really care about the outcome. Although most of the drama and hype is concocted by media whores whose lively hood relies on an aroused audience.
I must be getting old and cranky, but when I saw the tub of Champagne that the winners were going to squirt at each other, I thought: What a collossal waste of fermented grapes. I just hope it was cheap crap. I'd hate to think that premium sparkling wine was being wasted for the entertainment of the viewing public. I shut the TV off just as the last out was called. I don't need to watch a bunch of overpaid jocks acting like schoolyard kids. They won; since I personally had little to celebrate about, and had already consumed my allowed quota of bubbly - 2 Bud Lites - I went to bed.
Now, I am waiting patiently for the Media-generated hooh-hah to settle down. Everywhere I go, people are remarking about the series. "How about dem sox!" they say (guy at the donut shop). "Are you going to the parade?" (clerk at the convenience store where I buy my scratch tickets) "We clean Red Sox jacket 20% off. You bring today." (Chinese lady at the laundry. I didn't bother to assure her that I have no Logoed clothing whatsoever.) "Did you see that kid hit that home run? First Pitch. Out of the Park. You want the Tingling or Warming?" (Guy at the drug store, referring to the eighth inning, game winning Home run hit by Bobby Kielty, and also to my price inquiry on a tube of KY Jelly.) "Yeh, I had tickets to game 6. Ok, hold still a second. Hmmn. Does it hurt when I do this? Yeh, right behind home plate. Ok we're done." (My proctologist.)
Apparently, these people thinking that everyone gives a sweet crap that the Red Sox won the world series. I say BFD. It's nice for them - the baseball employees - because they earn more money; but how do the fair weather fans benefit?
I guess they think just because I look like a retired guy, I probably have nothing better to do than talk about baseball games. I feel like a growling old dog in a pen full of spunky puppies. I've already expressed my feelings towards the bunch of guys who work at Fenway Park Who is this kid Bobby Kielty anyhow?
We Did? I don't know who the We is, since I did nothing more than drink beer and sit on my lard ass on the sofa , doing my bills, organizing my socks and playing video poker during the volumes of repeated commercials. Occasionally, I would look up during those rare moments of drama when somebody actually hit a ball far enough that they could run to a base.
Ok I'm exaggerating. I did watch the most of the games, because I generally enjoy a good athletic contest, and the playoffs are the only time when the players seem to really care about the outcome. Although most of the drama and hype is concocted by media whores whose lively hood relies on an aroused audience.
I must be getting old and cranky, but when I saw the tub of Champagne that the winners were going to squirt at each other, I thought: What a collossal waste of fermented grapes. I just hope it was cheap crap. I'd hate to think that premium sparkling wine was being wasted for the entertainment of the viewing public. I shut the TV off just as the last out was called. I don't need to watch a bunch of overpaid jocks acting like schoolyard kids. They won; since I personally had little to celebrate about, and had already consumed my allowed quota of bubbly - 2 Bud Lites - I went to bed.
Now, I am waiting patiently for the Media-generated hooh-hah to settle down. Everywhere I go, people are remarking about the series. "How about dem sox!" they say (guy at the donut shop). "Are you going to the parade?" (clerk at the convenience store where I buy my scratch tickets) "We clean Red Sox jacket 20% off. You bring today." (Chinese lady at the laundry. I didn't bother to assure her that I have no Logoed clothing whatsoever.) "Did you see that kid hit that home run? First Pitch. Out of the Park. You want the Tingling or Warming?" (Guy at the drug store, referring to the eighth inning, game winning Home run hit by Bobby Kielty, and also to my price inquiry on a tube of KY Jelly.) "Yeh, I had tickets to game 6. Ok, hold still a second. Hmmn. Does it hurt when I do this? Yeh, right behind home plate. Ok we're done." (My proctologist.)
Apparently, these people thinking that everyone gives a sweet crap that the Red Sox won the world series. I say BFD. It's nice for them - the baseball employees - because they earn more money; but how do the fair weather fans benefit?
I guess they think just because I look like a retired guy, I probably have nothing better to do than talk about baseball games. I feel like a growling old dog in a pen full of spunky puppies. I've already expressed my feelings towards the bunch of guys who work at Fenway Park Who is this kid Bobby Kielty anyhow?
10/25/2007
Fan Fatigue
I am tres fatigue this morning. I started falling asleep on the sofa around midnight watching the red Sox pummel the Rockies 13-1 in the 8th inning. I figured the lead was enough to win, so I finally went up to bed.
I hate to be a crank, but it is fairly evident that sitting by yourself on the sofa watching an entire baseball game on TV is just a colossal waste of time. If you are with a crowd at a sports bar or actually at the baseball park, you have some distractions from the zillions of TV commercials and fast-cut filler video clips that they show between pitches.
It’s almost like being on the internet for cripes sake – Not Free! You are paying for the content that you want by letting them bombard you with popup ads, crawling messages, cute and clever sound effects, teasing taglines and unwanted eye trash[1].
If you sorted out all the hype and promo, you would get maybe 90 minutes of Game - Instead of 4 and a half hours of Lame. How can they expect fans who have to go to school/work the next morning to be able to stay up to watch a game that doesn’t end until 1AM or later?
Die-hard followers of baseball call me a “Fair weather fan.” This does not bother me. It is a fact that I have not watched a complete baseball game during the regular season. I have proudly not paid for a ticket to a professional sporting event since the baseball strike of 1981. [2]
I don’t see how you can be a devoted fan of a team when they trade away your favorite players every year? If you were a fan of the rock band, Boston, during the 80’s you might be more than aggravated if they had traded the smooth harmonic vocals of Brad Delph for Aerosmith’s screamer - Steve Tyler.
Music fans expect the same guys to show up at every appearance. Sports teams should do likewise. The Red Sox have let some of their greatest players like Roger Clemens, Nomar, Pedro, (to name just a few) slide through their contractural fingers - and then come back to beat us – I mean them.
> ===========================================<
I hate to be a crank, but it is fairly evident that sitting by yourself on the sofa watching an entire baseball game on TV is just a colossal waste of time. If you are with a crowd at a sports bar or actually at the baseball park, you have some distractions from the zillions of TV commercials and fast-cut filler video clips that they show between pitches.
It’s almost like being on the internet for cripes sake – Not Free! You are paying for the content that you want by letting them bombard you with popup ads, crawling messages, cute and clever sound effects, teasing taglines and unwanted eye trash[1].
If you sorted out all the hype and promo, you would get maybe 90 minutes of Game - Instead of 4 and a half hours of Lame. How can they expect fans who have to go to school/work the next morning to be able to stay up to watch a game that doesn’t end until 1AM or later?
Die-hard followers of baseball call me a “Fair weather fan.” This does not bother me. It is a fact that I have not watched a complete baseball game during the regular season. I have proudly not paid for a ticket to a professional sporting event since the baseball strike of 1981. [2]
I don’t see how you can be a devoted fan of a team when they trade away your favorite players every year? If you were a fan of the rock band, Boston, during the 80’s you might be more than aggravated if they had traded the smooth harmonic vocals of Brad Delph for Aerosmith’s screamer - Steve Tyler.
Music fans expect the same guys to show up at every appearance. Sports teams should do likewise. The Red Sox have let some of their greatest players like Roger Clemens, Nomar, Pedro, (to name just a few) slide through their contractural fingers - and then come back to beat us – I mean them.
> ===========================================<
[1] I wonder what will happen to the economy when the advertisers and sponsors finally realize that we have developed countermeasures to totally ignore their messages.
[2] That’s when I realized that these guys see themselves as “workers” not “players” or even “entertainers.” Why should I pay money to watch someone work? Watching college or even High School teams is actually more exciting because the players are not in it for the money.
10/23/2007
Flatland Thoughts
We are back from the mountains. The “high” you get from being in altitude is more than thin-air lightheadedness. More likely, the fresh air lends some clarity to the thinking. Maybe it is rooted the difference in air pressure or even gravity. Something physical happens when you are in high country that releases some pleasant substance that seems to lubricate one’s brain and mood.
Almost very problem seems petty when you are in the mountains. You cannot be in the presence of those rugged peaks and canyons and valleys without being aware of perspectives – of space and time. Your perceived problems are revealed as the insignificant moment of bother that they are. I have never met anyone out West who displayed symptoms of depression.
You feel like the message from the mountains is: “Life is short; get on with it. “
=============================================================
I am almost feeling too mellow to write an angry letter to the Hampton Inn management to complain about our “lost” room. When we arrived in Louisville, Colorado (in the valley 15 miles east of the front range of the Rockies, near Boulder) on Friday night, we had a hotel booking confirmation # in hand. The desk clerk at the Hampton Inn informed us that we were not in his computer and there was “no room at the Inn.”
It was “family Weekend” for University of Colorado at Boulder so we had to scramble around to find another hotel with a vacant room. It was a one star place called Comfort Inn. They were friendly and helpful, and they gave us the AAA 5% discount. The fan in the room was loud, the walls were thin (reminiscent of a Paul Simon song called “Lincoln Duncan” - if you know what I mean.) There was a lot of low-budget partying going on in the halls and adjacent rooms. The smallish bed was uncomfortable.
So I got on Priceline the next morning and looked for available rooms in the area.
Guess who had rooms. Yep, the Hampton Inn. So I booked Sat and Sun nights
At the Priceline special rate. Which was cheaper than our original booked rate.
So, I figure the Hampton Inn owes us at least one peaceful night’s rest. Yet for some reason, I cannot summon my usual level of outrage to compose a nasty complaint letter that would result in heartfelt apologies and a generous voucher to compensate us for our troubles – and disappointment.
A few more days in the flatlands, and I'll be my old self again. Not to worry.
Almost very problem seems petty when you are in the mountains. You cannot be in the presence of those rugged peaks and canyons and valleys without being aware of perspectives – of space and time. Your perceived problems are revealed as the insignificant moment of bother that they are. I have never met anyone out West who displayed symptoms of depression.
You feel like the message from the mountains is: “Life is short; get on with it. “
=============================================================
I am almost feeling too mellow to write an angry letter to the Hampton Inn management to complain about our “lost” room. When we arrived in Louisville, Colorado (in the valley 15 miles east of the front range of the Rockies, near Boulder) on Friday night, we had a hotel booking confirmation # in hand. The desk clerk at the Hampton Inn informed us that we were not in his computer and there was “no room at the Inn.”
It was “family Weekend” for University of Colorado at Boulder so we had to scramble around to find another hotel with a vacant room. It was a one star place called Comfort Inn. They were friendly and helpful, and they gave us the AAA 5% discount. The fan in the room was loud, the walls were thin (reminiscent of a Paul Simon song called “Lincoln Duncan” - if you know what I mean.) There was a lot of low-budget partying going on in the halls and adjacent rooms. The smallish bed was uncomfortable.
So I got on Priceline the next morning and looked for available rooms in the area.
Guess who had rooms. Yep, the Hampton Inn. So I booked Sat and Sun nights
At the Priceline special rate. Which was cheaper than our original booked rate.
So, I figure the Hampton Inn owes us at least one peaceful night’s rest. Yet for some reason, I cannot summon my usual level of outrage to compose a nasty complaint letter that would result in heartfelt apologies and a generous voucher to compensate us for our troubles – and disappointment.
A few more days in the flatlands, and I'll be my old self again. Not to worry.
10/15/2007
Temperate Thoughts
We are headed to Boulder for a weekend visit with the in-law cousins to celebrate a 60th birthday. Ah, to be 60 again…with a lifetime of hopes and dreams ahead of you… It was snowing there yesterday…I hope global warming kicks-in before we arrive.
Due to the fact that no one has yet invented a working version of Transporter[1], we will be forced to travel by conventional means, which unfortunately means we will be again the voluntary prisoners of the Sadistic Airways. Thus, it seems time for another of my periodic anti-airline rants.
In the WSJ today, there is an article reporting that the European company Airbus has, after years of problems – cost overruns, etc , delivered the first A380 – billed as the world’s largest passenger jet. The customer is Singapore Airlines. Note to self: do not travel on Singapore Airlines for a few years.
I’m not predicting doom or anything, but one cannot be too careful when one considers that the A380 Project required cooperation between German and French engineers and the senior management of the company seemed more interested in backdating their stock options than meeting production schedules.
I have been on too many similar projects during my working days. I often say that I miss the money, the actual work and other social aspects of a job, but I am daily reminded that it is truly a blessing to be free from the politics of employment: No status reports, no self-absorbed egomaniacs[2], no meetings, no performance reviews.
Another article in the paper observed that as they rise in the corporate hierarchy, executives lose touch with the reality of their operations. They never get to talk candidly with anyone, because no one dares to be the messenger who tells the Emperor that his ideas and plans are crap.
Speaking of global warming, guess who got the Nobel Peace Prize for being a monomaniac with a mission? I am still not sure how Al Gore’s PowerPoint presentation has advanced world peace, but then I did not understand some of the previous award winners, either. Just a few examples: Yasser Arafat, whose minions regularly carried out terrorist bombings of Israeli civilians. Then there was the corrupt UN Secretary General, Kofi Annan, who presided over (and reportedly skimmed millions from) the now embarrassing Iraq oil-for-food program. If these recipients had not already made a mockery out of the award, I might feel more perplexed.
There was another story in WSJ about how climate changes in Western Canada are encouraging a nascent wine industry. It seems that the farmers there have observed that the local temperature has indeed registered a few degrees warmer over the past decade or so. This means a later killing frost date, which has enabled some of the less risk averse to plant more tender European grape vines.
After a few more years of warming, assuming the arctic melt doesn’t make the Pacific ocean rise and flood the West coast, Sonoma wine country will just become an extension of Death Valley. We will all be living in Iceland and getting our Chardonnay from Calgary Vineyards. Time to invest in future beachfront property?
=============================
[1] I don’t know much about quantum physics or electronics, you would think we could figure out how to cut-and-paste a steaming hot Pizza from Papa Gino’s to your house - at the very least. Cripes! How hard can it be?
[2] Well...except for the resident Blogster.
Due to the fact that no one has yet invented a working version of Transporter[1], we will be forced to travel by conventional means, which unfortunately means we will be again the voluntary prisoners of the Sadistic Airways. Thus, it seems time for another of my periodic anti-airline rants.
In the WSJ today, there is an article reporting that the European company Airbus has, after years of problems – cost overruns, etc , delivered the first A380 – billed as the world’s largest passenger jet. The customer is Singapore Airlines. Note to self: do not travel on Singapore Airlines for a few years.
I’m not predicting doom or anything, but one cannot be too careful when one considers that the A380 Project required cooperation between German and French engineers and the senior management of the company seemed more interested in backdating their stock options than meeting production schedules.
I have been on too many similar projects during my working days. I often say that I miss the money, the actual work and other social aspects of a job, but I am daily reminded that it is truly a blessing to be free from the politics of employment: No status reports, no self-absorbed egomaniacs[2], no meetings, no performance reviews.
Another article in the paper observed that as they rise in the corporate hierarchy, executives lose touch with the reality of their operations. They never get to talk candidly with anyone, because no one dares to be the messenger who tells the Emperor that his ideas and plans are crap.
Speaking of global warming, guess who got the Nobel Peace Prize for being a monomaniac with a mission? I am still not sure how Al Gore’s PowerPoint presentation has advanced world peace, but then I did not understand some of the previous award winners, either. Just a few examples: Yasser Arafat, whose minions regularly carried out terrorist bombings of Israeli civilians. Then there was the corrupt UN Secretary General, Kofi Annan, who presided over (and reportedly skimmed millions from) the now embarrassing Iraq oil-for-food program. If these recipients had not already made a mockery out of the award, I might feel more perplexed.
There was another story in WSJ about how climate changes in Western Canada are encouraging a nascent wine industry. It seems that the farmers there have observed that the local temperature has indeed registered a few degrees warmer over the past decade or so. This means a later killing frost date, which has enabled some of the less risk averse to plant more tender European grape vines.
After a few more years of warming, assuming the arctic melt doesn’t make the Pacific ocean rise and flood the West coast, Sonoma wine country will just become an extension of Death Valley. We will all be living in Iceland and getting our Chardonnay from Calgary Vineyards. Time to invest in future beachfront property?
=============================
[1] I don’t know much about quantum physics or electronics, you would think we could figure out how to cut-and-paste a steaming hot Pizza from Papa Gino’s to your house - at the very least. Cripes! How hard can it be?
[2] Well...except for the resident Blogster.
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