They say a bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. I decided to take a day off from not-doing-anything and went fishing yesterday with a group of former workmates from the Urban Diploma Factory. It's been an annual event for them for about twenty years. I have gone along a few times - I think this was my fourth.
The boat leaves the dock in Gloucester at 6:45am, so it is a serious comitment to sign up for the trip. Approximately 25-30 people were on board when I got there. Some of them were looking worried about the fog and drizzle. And the cold. It gets pretty breezy on the water when the sun is not out.
Unlike my historical attendance record at work meetings, I was on-time at the docks. I had stopped at Dunkin Donut for two Boston Kreme donuts, which I refer to as "seasick pills." I have learned that I don't get seasick on a full stomach. Some of the stalwart fishermen were already popping the tops of their cans of bud as we cleared the harbor. Too early for me.
We steamed (steamed sounds more appealing than "dieseled" don't you think) eastward for about an hour. At a depth of about 200 ft under misty skies, we dropped our lines over the side, and to my shock and surprise we started catching fish.
After reeling in what felt like a truck tire I finally landed a big codfish (9-10 lbs easy. For a while it was the biggest catch, but someone on the other side brought in a 12 pounder and my moment of supremacy passed.
I caught 4 more keepers and a few small fry. By the end of the day my arms were so tired that only the vigorous hydration of malt beverages could relieve the discomfort.
It was a good day fishing. Which is second only to winning the lottery.
6/19/2004
6/11/2004
Another Excuse Not to Work
Thankfully today, is the last day of the Reagan Memorial extravaganza. At first I was appropriately saddened by the memory and passing of the last great Leader this country has had. Now, I am ready to move on.
Our Republican Governor, Mitt Romney has declared this an official day of mourning. He gave all "nonessential" state workers a day off with pay. I think he should just fire all the non-essential workers and cut taxes. But, as usual, he did not consult with me on this decision.
Predictably, the idealogues on both sides cannot stop their partisan yapping long enough to consider the tremendous popularity of Reagan. Look at all the people who cared so much that they would wait hours, and travel hundreds of miles, just to spend a minute in front of a flag draped coffin. (I think it was empty; can anyone prove me wrong?)
For the most part, I remember the Reagan years fondly. We were raising our family, doing well enough to build a vacation house in New Hampshire. Life seemed pretty good.
A life long Democrat, I thought Reagan was wrong about a lot of things (eg, Iran-Contra, bailing-out of Beruit, running up the deficit while giving tax cuts). But I did support the mass firing of the striking Air Traffic Controllers. (Did I mention that I don't like strikers, especially the ones with all those cushy government benefits.) And, his "tear Down this Wall," speech was as powerful oratory as I've ever heard.
He was not perfect, but he had a great sense of humor. He created a semi scandal when he was doing a voice test for the weekly radio broadcast and jokingly announced, "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes."
Also he was a courageous Leader. Remember how quickly he recovered from the Hinkley assassination attempt? He was back in the saddle faster than Hopalong Cassidy after a shouldner nick. Certainly the greatest achievement of his administration was hastening the collapse of the Soviet Union. Political opponents cannot take that away from him. I think it trumps any failures of his presidency.
While we are in mourning, let's note the passing of another great celebrity of our times. Ray Charles died of liver problems, but the way I understand it he just did not want to live in a world where Snoop Dog was making more money than him.
Our Republican Governor, Mitt Romney has declared this an official day of mourning. He gave all "nonessential" state workers a day off with pay. I think he should just fire all the non-essential workers and cut taxes. But, as usual, he did not consult with me on this decision.
Predictably, the idealogues on both sides cannot stop their partisan yapping long enough to consider the tremendous popularity of Reagan. Look at all the people who cared so much that they would wait hours, and travel hundreds of miles, just to spend a minute in front of a flag draped coffin. (I think it was empty; can anyone prove me wrong?)
For the most part, I remember the Reagan years fondly. We were raising our family, doing well enough to build a vacation house in New Hampshire. Life seemed pretty good.
A life long Democrat, I thought Reagan was wrong about a lot of things (eg, Iran-Contra, bailing-out of Beruit, running up the deficit while giving tax cuts). But I did support the mass firing of the striking Air Traffic Controllers. (Did I mention that I don't like strikers, especially the ones with all those cushy government benefits.) And, his "tear Down this Wall," speech was as powerful oratory as I've ever heard.
He was not perfect, but he had a great sense of humor. He created a semi scandal when he was doing a voice test for the weekly radio broadcast and jokingly announced, "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes."
Also he was a courageous Leader. Remember how quickly he recovered from the Hinkley assassination attempt? He was back in the saddle faster than Hopalong Cassidy after a shouldner nick. Certainly the greatest achievement of his administration was hastening the collapse of the Soviet Union. Political opponents cannot take that away from him. I think it trumps any failures of his presidency.
While we are in mourning, let's note the passing of another great celebrity of our times. Ray Charles died of liver problems, but the way I understand it he just did not want to live in a world where Snoop Dog was making more money than him.
6/09/2004
People Who Don't Want To Work
Nothing annoys me more than people who are willing to disrupt traffic to make their own political statement. On the TV news we see shots of Boston cops and firemen mugging inanely for the cameras, while they carry signs declaiming the lack of a contract. They are threatening to prevent work on the Fleet Center to get ready for the DNC in July if they don't get satisfaction.
Mayor Menino says he has offered over 11% in pay raises. This is apparently not enough for the municipal Patrolmen's Association extortionators. They are picketing even though they are too cowardly to actually go on strike themselves. (Ronald Regan set the very effective precedent as to how you deal with municipal employees who strike.) So instead of laying their jobs on the line, they intimidate electricians and truck drivers to risk their jobs. They call it solidarity, but it is really blackmail.
Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-union. I just think that the union should only exist to protect the workers from being exploited by rapacious management - not to blackmail the citizenry for unreasonable pay raises and benefits.
If I was emperor the rule would be: People who are unhappy with the working conditions do not have the right to block traffic or to harrass others. Shut up and get back to work, or quit and make room for someone who wants to work.
Funny how quickly the Hero status of Cops and Firemen fades when you see them, just like the rest of us, greedy and selfish.
Mayor Menino says he has offered over 11% in pay raises. This is apparently not enough for the municipal Patrolmen's Association extortionators. They are picketing even though they are too cowardly to actually go on strike themselves. (Ronald Regan set the very effective precedent as to how you deal with municipal employees who strike.) So instead of laying their jobs on the line, they intimidate electricians and truck drivers to risk their jobs. They call it solidarity, but it is really blackmail.
Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-union. I just think that the union should only exist to protect the workers from being exploited by rapacious management - not to blackmail the citizenry for unreasonable pay raises and benefits.
If I was emperor the rule would be: People who are unhappy with the working conditions do not have the right to block traffic or to harrass others. Shut up and get back to work, or quit and make room for someone who wants to work.
Funny how quickly the Hero status of Cops and Firemen fades when you see them, just like the rest of us, greedy and selfish.
6/07/2004
The Project Next Door
Ok that fries it. The neighbor’s are having an addition put on. Last week the tree guys came to take down three enormous pine trees that have been over shadowing both of our houses. I was pretty happy about that, since one of the trees was constantly dropping pine sap and dead limbs onto any cars parked in our driveway.
It was pretty entertaining, watching a 70 year-old coniferous work of nature reduced to a pile of wood chips in just a few minutes by three men (two of whom did not speak English) and some big noisy machinery.
Yesterday, the backhoe and the dump trucks arrived.
There goes my nice quiet summer. Reflecting on the nature of work does not take long when you see guys who really are doing physical labor. But the heavy equipment guys make ten times more than office guys and the tree guy says he make more in one day than he made in a whole week as a high wire electrician. He did confirm that the site boss was an asshole, just like working in an office.
But, somehow, going into a nice air conditioned office with indoor plumbing seemed somehow more doable to me than working with big heavy objects and machinery. Even if the wages are chump change compared to a crane operator. I know what you are thinking, comparisons are invidious.
I really need to get a job or join the Peace Corps – anything to get out of here until the construction work is done next door. Anyone need a professional drinking companion?
It was pretty entertaining, watching a 70 year-old coniferous work of nature reduced to a pile of wood chips in just a few minutes by three men (two of whom did not speak English) and some big noisy machinery.
Yesterday, the backhoe and the dump trucks arrived.
There goes my nice quiet summer. Reflecting on the nature of work does not take long when you see guys who really are doing physical labor. But the heavy equipment guys make ten times more than office guys and the tree guy says he make more in one day than he made in a whole week as a high wire electrician. He did confirm that the site boss was an asshole, just like working in an office.
But, somehow, going into a nice air conditioned office with indoor plumbing seemed somehow more doable to me than working with big heavy objects and machinery. Even if the wages are chump change compared to a crane operator. I know what you are thinking, comparisons are invidious.
I really need to get a job or join the Peace Corps – anything to get out of here until the construction work is done next door. Anyone need a professional drinking companion?
6/06/2004
By Their Deeds Measure Ours
Sixty years ago, on this day 6,000 young men were killed on the beaches of France in the D-Day invasion. I was two years old. President Bush wasn't born yet.
In the movie "Saving Private Ryan" the reality of the battle scene was startling and haunting. It made those of us who escaped the horror of battle feel a little guilty to be living in an era where the worst thing we can complain about is that our boss is an idiot and out 401K is not enough to retire at age 55.
Despite terrorist threats, most of us feel pretty secure here in the USA. The freedom and security that was earned by the heroes - those who fought in battle - is appreciated and our job is to be worthy of that gift.
On TV, we see the fields of Normandy where thousands upon thousands of crosses mark the graves of the American dead. This does not include the millions of civilians killed during the war by bombs and in camps. I read in the paper that Russia lost 20 million citizens and that was before Stalin killed a few more million. (By contrast 400 thousand Americans died.)
It is sad to consider the immense amount of destruction and suffering that can be caused by a few evil (or even misguided) men in power.
===========
Job Search Update
The discouraging thing about looking for work on the job boards is that the same companies continue to list the same jobs that were first posted months ago. They have not filled these positions which I have applied to - sometimes more than once. Yet, they have not called me. I am clearly being disqualified on some factor other than experience and knowledge.
Or maybe there are no real jobs. They post a bunch of fictitious jobs to make it look like they are growing, to boost their stock prices. It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
Meanwhile, the tomatoes are planted, the yard looks good, and I have managed to eliminate stress in my life. Well, almost. I still get annoyed when I see squirrels digging up the marigolds. Throwing stones at them is very theraputic, and it doesn't hurt the squirrels either.
In the movie "Saving Private Ryan" the reality of the battle scene was startling and haunting. It made those of us who escaped the horror of battle feel a little guilty to be living in an era where the worst thing we can complain about is that our boss is an idiot and out 401K is not enough to retire at age 55.
Despite terrorist threats, most of us feel pretty secure here in the USA. The freedom and security that was earned by the heroes - those who fought in battle - is appreciated and our job is to be worthy of that gift.
On TV, we see the fields of Normandy where thousands upon thousands of crosses mark the graves of the American dead. This does not include the millions of civilians killed during the war by bombs and in camps. I read in the paper that Russia lost 20 million citizens and that was before Stalin killed a few more million. (By contrast 400 thousand Americans died.)
It is sad to consider the immense amount of destruction and suffering that can be caused by a few evil (or even misguided) men in power.
===========
Job Search Update
The discouraging thing about looking for work on the job boards is that the same companies continue to list the same jobs that were first posted months ago. They have not filled these positions which I have applied to - sometimes more than once. Yet, they have not called me. I am clearly being disqualified on some factor other than experience and knowledge.
Or maybe there are no real jobs. They post a bunch of fictitious jobs to make it look like they are growing, to boost their stock prices. It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
Meanwhile, the tomatoes are planted, the yard looks good, and I have managed to eliminate stress in my life. Well, almost. I still get annoyed when I see squirrels digging up the marigolds. Throwing stones at them is very theraputic, and it doesn't hurt the squirrels either.
6/02/2004
Post Memorial Day Thoughts
Some self-appointed wag sent me an email noting that jobs were opening up every day in places like Saudi Arabia and Iraq. Excitement and high pay.
It got me to thinking about the current situation over there. I don't usually use this forum to get political, but I cannot help noticing the big sucking sound coming from Iraq. I cannot figure out if it is the whoosh of US taxpayer dollars being piped into the desert to make us safe from Osama Bin Laden, or whether it is the sound of the Iraqi Governing Council trying to get the hell out of Dodge before the world learns that when you hand democracy to theocrats you get totalitarianism.
In "The Fog of War" Robert MacNamara admits that big mistakes were made during the "Cold War" and Viet Nam, and most of them were because of bad intelligence and the failure to understand the motivation of the enemy. We didn't realize that North Vietnam would never be an ally of China - they had been at war for centuries. They did not want ANY occupying power. Castro had advised Kruschev to go ahead and launch the missiles on the US expecting that Cuba would have been vaporized in retaliation.
There seems to be a general feeling of doom about the future of Iraq. Everyone remembers the pictures of US troops evacuating Saigon which we should recall was followed by the killings of millions in Nam and Cambodia. As soon as we leave Iraq there will be a bloodbath. Those suspected of conspiring with America will be killed or run out of town. In the end, we have not accomplished anything, except to ruin our own economy, bleed our resources, give comfort and hope to our enemies and erode the trust and good will of our allies.
An expensive venture indeed.
It got me to thinking about the current situation over there. I don't usually use this forum to get political, but I cannot help noticing the big sucking sound coming from Iraq. I cannot figure out if it is the whoosh of US taxpayer dollars being piped into the desert to make us safe from Osama Bin Laden, or whether it is the sound of the Iraqi Governing Council trying to get the hell out of Dodge before the world learns that when you hand democracy to theocrats you get totalitarianism.
In "The Fog of War" Robert MacNamara admits that big mistakes were made during the "Cold War" and Viet Nam, and most of them were because of bad intelligence and the failure to understand the motivation of the enemy. We didn't realize that North Vietnam would never be an ally of China - they had been at war for centuries. They did not want ANY occupying power. Castro had advised Kruschev to go ahead and launch the missiles on the US expecting that Cuba would have been vaporized in retaliation.
There seems to be a general feeling of doom about the future of Iraq. Everyone remembers the pictures of US troops evacuating Saigon which we should recall was followed by the killings of millions in Nam and Cambodia. As soon as we leave Iraq there will be a bloodbath. Those suspected of conspiring with America will be killed or run out of town. In the end, we have not accomplished anything, except to ruin our own economy, bleed our resources, give comfort and hope to our enemies and erode the trust and good will of our allies.
An expensive venture indeed.
6/01/2004
The Elixer of Life
I read in the paper today that the former world's oldest person - a woman - has died at the age of 114. The story quoted her relatives as remarking that she loved beer and would order it with every meal.
Now, I don't recall the woman's name or anything else about her life, but if I owned a brewery, I would erect a statue of her in the parking lot to stand as an inspiration to my customers and employees. Of course, I might make her look a bit younger and more buxom.
I would never trivialize this woman's longevity by attributing it to beer consumption, but I think the evidence is compelling.
Now, I don't recall the woman's name or anything else about her life, but if I owned a brewery, I would erect a statue of her in the parking lot to stand as an inspiration to my customers and employees. Of course, I might make her look a bit younger and more buxom.
I would never trivialize this woman's longevity by attributing it to beer consumption, but I think the evidence is compelling.
5/19/2004
Silent Spring
I had some calls - screening interviews - last week for contract jobs doing systems analysis. I was assured there would be requests for in person interviews this week. Hmmn. Today is Wednesday. Is this phone working?
The weather has been fabulous lately, after a rainy start to the spring. I am outside most of the day, puttering, weeding, mowing, and sitting in the shade, marveling at the natural beauty of flora and fauna.
A huge variety of birds pass through the yard if you just sit down for a minute and listen for them. Of course there are our resident cardinals who have built a nest in the very bush that I was planning to cut down - Now, this project is postponed until after the eggs have hatched and the chicks have flown. But there are numerous other species: A Baltimore Oriole was sitting on the cedar fence yesterday. Two red tailed hawks making lazy circles in the sky. A lost Canadian goose flies over, honking desperately. There are also bluejays, crows, doves, robins, woodpeckers, mockingbirds, and many that I cannot identify. Their trillings, squawks, chirps, tweets and caws emanate from the trees like the noisy parrots in the jungle. The ambient noise of life. I heard somewhere that those sweet sounds of birds are actually angry threats identifying territories or requests for mating privileges. It sounds more like a racket when you think the songs are being sung by thugs and harlots.
Well, it still beats the sound of phones ringing, the kid in the next cube who talks about nothing but cars, the paging system, and other typical office related sound track.
Other wildlife abound. I throw stones at the odious squirrels - who dig up my lawn in their frenetic search for...what the heck are they looking for anyway? Chipmunks are left alone to scurry and chirp as they please, although my stand of catmint does attract the local outdoor cats. I like seeing them - they chase away most of the rodentia. In the evening, we are visited by skunks and raccoons. One got into the garage the other night looking for food. My three indoor cats sit on windowsills watching the action outside. They are entertained by the reality show being played out.
Work? Yes I'm working. I have a list of chores and tasks. I am also monitoring the neighborhood building projects. Next door, they are setting up the forms for the extended foundation. Someone has to make sure they are doing it correctly. And later, the concrete trucks will be onsite.
I may not be getting paid in the coin of the realm, but the reward of seeing the newly mown lawn and the dark earth of a freshly-weeded flower bed gives one a sense of satisfaction that must be pre-wired into our DNA from ancient ancestors, embedded in our medula oblongata. You cannot get that same satisfaction from a data model or from a meeting that went well.
Cripes, listen to me. I need to get a job pretty soon, or the next thing you know I'll be one of those old guys sitting on a bench seemingly at peace with the world. Who needs that?
The weather has been fabulous lately, after a rainy start to the spring. I am outside most of the day, puttering, weeding, mowing, and sitting in the shade, marveling at the natural beauty of flora and fauna.
A huge variety of birds pass through the yard if you just sit down for a minute and listen for them. Of course there are our resident cardinals who have built a nest in the very bush that I was planning to cut down - Now, this project is postponed until after the eggs have hatched and the chicks have flown. But there are numerous other species: A Baltimore Oriole was sitting on the cedar fence yesterday. Two red tailed hawks making lazy circles in the sky. A lost Canadian goose flies over, honking desperately. There are also bluejays, crows, doves, robins, woodpeckers, mockingbirds, and many that I cannot identify. Their trillings, squawks, chirps, tweets and caws emanate from the trees like the noisy parrots in the jungle. The ambient noise of life. I heard somewhere that those sweet sounds of birds are actually angry threats identifying territories or requests for mating privileges. It sounds more like a racket when you think the songs are being sung by thugs and harlots.
Well, it still beats the sound of phones ringing, the kid in the next cube who talks about nothing but cars, the paging system, and other typical office related sound track.
Other wildlife abound. I throw stones at the odious squirrels - who dig up my lawn in their frenetic search for...what the heck are they looking for anyway? Chipmunks are left alone to scurry and chirp as they please, although my stand of catmint does attract the local outdoor cats. I like seeing them - they chase away most of the rodentia. In the evening, we are visited by skunks and raccoons. One got into the garage the other night looking for food. My three indoor cats sit on windowsills watching the action outside. They are entertained by the reality show being played out.
Work? Yes I'm working. I have a list of chores and tasks. I am also monitoring the neighborhood building projects. Next door, they are setting up the forms for the extended foundation. Someone has to make sure they are doing it correctly. And later, the concrete trucks will be onsite.
I may not be getting paid in the coin of the realm, but the reward of seeing the newly mown lawn and the dark earth of a freshly-weeded flower bed gives one a sense of satisfaction that must be pre-wired into our DNA from ancient ancestors, embedded in our medula oblongata. You cannot get that same satisfaction from a data model or from a meeting that went well.
Cripes, listen to me. I need to get a job pretty soon, or the next thing you know I'll be one of those old guys sitting on a bench seemingly at peace with the world. Who needs that?
5/13/2004
Suddenly It's Thursday.
I know a man who has been retired for almost twenty years. He is 82 years old. Once, when I asked him how he passed the time he declared that you can get really busy doing nothing. He claims that the title of his forthcoming book is: "Suddenly, It's Thursday." Now I know what he meant.
When the only events on your schedule are Doctors appointments and getting the car washed, it is hard to keep track of what day it is. Some driven people never know how it feels to do nothing. To those of us with a low sense of urgency, the unscheduled day is a gift from the heavens.
For those readers who have a job, you can understand what I am saying by remembering your last long vacation at the beach. (Not a long weekend getaway or a traveling tour of the sites in Mozambique. These trips have too many time-sensitive moments and they don't give you time to get into a relaxed mode.)
But, if you recall your best long vacation, you remember that around the beginning of the second week, you really got relaxed. You forgot your job, your meetings, your backbiting co-workers, your clueless boss, your inept subordinates. The vacation day consists of napping, eating, drinking, reading and thinking. You lose track of time, because it doesn't really matter what day it is. A good day depends on the weather, not on the vagaries of the next phone call from your idiot clients.
Well, an extended time not-working has the same effect. You develop certain strategies to promote a nice stress-free existence. You shop for food and go to the dump during weekdays. Working people clog the streets on Saturdays trying to take kids to soccer matches, getting to the mall, rushing to the super market. They need to do everything in one day, so they can relax on Sunday. It's dangerous to be on the roads when these frenetic souls are speeding to their destinations, multitasking with cell phones glued to their ears, yakking instead of paying attention to their driving. Busy, busy, hurry, hurry. Too much anxiety in the streets.
So, what happens is, non-working people tend to let the week drift along. You do whatever you feel like doing. Then, at some point you again notice that your wife has taped a list of honey-do's to the beer refrigerator. Some of the things on the list are left over from previous weeks' lists, and now they have exclamation marks, arrows and highlights. And you realize in the interest of harmony, that you better get some things done.
That's when you realize that suddenly it's Thursday. Again.
A year in Blogville
It was about a year ago that I started this weblog. People who know me have been getting email HH Updates for years, and before the internet I kept a typewritten journal through decades of all the previous jobs. I plan to publish it all in my book about leadership. The working title is "I should have stayed in bed."
When the only events on your schedule are Doctors appointments and getting the car washed, it is hard to keep track of what day it is. Some driven people never know how it feels to do nothing. To those of us with a low sense of urgency, the unscheduled day is a gift from the heavens.
For those readers who have a job, you can understand what I am saying by remembering your last long vacation at the beach. (Not a long weekend getaway or a traveling tour of the sites in Mozambique. These trips have too many time-sensitive moments and they don't give you time to get into a relaxed mode.)
But, if you recall your best long vacation, you remember that around the beginning of the second week, you really got relaxed. You forgot your job, your meetings, your backbiting co-workers, your clueless boss, your inept subordinates. The vacation day consists of napping, eating, drinking, reading and thinking. You lose track of time, because it doesn't really matter what day it is. A good day depends on the weather, not on the vagaries of the next phone call from your idiot clients.
Well, an extended time not-working has the same effect. You develop certain strategies to promote a nice stress-free existence. You shop for food and go to the dump during weekdays. Working people clog the streets on Saturdays trying to take kids to soccer matches, getting to the mall, rushing to the super market. They need to do everything in one day, so they can relax on Sunday. It's dangerous to be on the roads when these frenetic souls are speeding to their destinations, multitasking with cell phones glued to their ears, yakking instead of paying attention to their driving. Busy, busy, hurry, hurry. Too much anxiety in the streets.
So, what happens is, non-working people tend to let the week drift along. You do whatever you feel like doing. Then, at some point you again notice that your wife has taped a list of honey-do's to the beer refrigerator. Some of the things on the list are left over from previous weeks' lists, and now they have exclamation marks, arrows and highlights. And you realize in the interest of harmony, that you better get some things done.
That's when you realize that suddenly it's Thursday. Again.
A year in Blogville
It was about a year ago that I started this weblog. People who know me have been getting email HH Updates for years, and before the internet I kept a typewritten journal through decades of all the previous jobs. I plan to publish it all in my book about leadership. The working title is "I should have stayed in bed."
5/07/2004
A Year Beyond Hellhole
On Monday I will be celebrating the 1 year anniversary of my unemployment.
I say "celebrating", because I really do not miss working (meetings, status reports, commuting, deadlines, ego-centric a-holes, unreasonable customers, insufficent resources, striving for excellence, competition and did I mention meetings?).
I do miss the fun things (Interesting colleagues, beers at the pub, travel to user conferences in interesting places, occasionally getting something worthwhile accomplished.) And, I do miss getting paid.
The weekly unemployment check ($500) was great for 9 months. And, since it went away, I am getting pressure to fire (oops, I mean "lay-off") the cleaners who still come every two weeks. And, I have had to cut back on lottery investments and lunches with friends and the increasing headcount of unemployed former colleagues. I keep reading about the hot economy, but haven't felt the warmth yet.
So, I continue to check the job boards, and apply to any Business Systems Analyst job that looks interesting and located within a short commute. I remain calm. Sooner or later there will be opportunities to work. These cycles are immutable and I am confident that I will ultimately return to the ranks of the so-called 'gainfully employed'.
But, with gardening, reading and social activities, I really don't know how I will find the time to work at a full-time job. Life is full of such contradictions, I guess.
Hey, the sun is out, I have stuff to do.
I say "celebrating", because I really do not miss working (meetings, status reports, commuting, deadlines, ego-centric a-holes, unreasonable customers, insufficent resources, striving for excellence, competition and did I mention meetings?).
I do miss the fun things (Interesting colleagues, beers at the pub, travel to user conferences in interesting places, occasionally getting something worthwhile accomplished.) And, I do miss getting paid.
The weekly unemployment check ($500) was great for 9 months. And, since it went away, I am getting pressure to fire (oops, I mean "lay-off") the cleaners who still come every two weeks. And, I have had to cut back on lottery investments and lunches with friends and the increasing headcount of unemployed former colleagues. I keep reading about the hot economy, but haven't felt the warmth yet.
So, I continue to check the job boards, and apply to any Business Systems Analyst job that looks interesting and located within a short commute. I remain calm. Sooner or later there will be opportunities to work. These cycles are immutable and I am confident that I will ultimately return to the ranks of the so-called 'gainfully employed'.
But, with gardening, reading and social activities, I really don't know how I will find the time to work at a full-time job. Life is full of such contradictions, I guess.
Hey, the sun is out, I have stuff to do.
5/05/2004
Cinco de Mayo
I was checking out the job boards today and found a perfect job for me. I would have been perfect for this job if I had some relevant experience.
Still, One must be alert to opportunity, so I sent this email:
"I am truly unqualified for the job you described in your Monster.com ad. Not only have I not earned a living as a writer or editor, but, more damagingly, I am possessed by an inexplicable condition which my wife diagnoses as "call reluctance." I cannot explain why I am intimidated by successful business leaders. Perhaps it is because my own job history is pockmarked by an inability to rise above the rabble who sit in the cafeteria, munching on jelly donuts and free coffee, grousing about inept management.
Which brings me to the incentive for this e-query: The job description did mention the thing about free bagels and drinks. So I was wondering whether it was limited to soft drinks or whether you are one of those progressive outfits that has beer in the fridge. Now, that would be an interesting place to work.
You also mentioned that everyone has a great time and no one ever wants to leave. Again, this sounds like the perfect environment for someone like me: Laid off from my high paying IT job, nearing retirement, non-golfer, 30 years experience as an IT project leader, pretty good writer, superior sense of humor, and someone who can really appreciate a free bagel.
Ok, I admit it. I am not really applying for a senior writer position. But your environment sounded so attractive that I had to take time out of my normal job-hunting and blogging to see if you had any work for someone who can write knowledgeably about technology and management issues with a sense of humor. "
Hey, what if there actually was some one in HR with a sense of humor. Maybe they would show it to someone who was thinking about hiring laid off systems analysts to write about data management and other funny stuff.
Stranger things have happened.
Still, One must be alert to opportunity, so I sent this email:
"I am truly unqualified for the job you described in your Monster.com ad. Not only have I not earned a living as a writer or editor, but, more damagingly, I am possessed by an inexplicable condition which my wife diagnoses as "call reluctance." I cannot explain why I am intimidated by successful business leaders. Perhaps it is because my own job history is pockmarked by an inability to rise above the rabble who sit in the cafeteria, munching on jelly donuts and free coffee, grousing about inept management.
Which brings me to the incentive for this e-query: The job description did mention the thing about free bagels and drinks. So I was wondering whether it was limited to soft drinks or whether you are one of those progressive outfits that has beer in the fridge. Now, that would be an interesting place to work.
You also mentioned that everyone has a great time and no one ever wants to leave. Again, this sounds like the perfect environment for someone like me: Laid off from my high paying IT job, nearing retirement, non-golfer, 30 years experience as an IT project leader, pretty good writer, superior sense of humor, and someone who can really appreciate a free bagel.
Ok, I admit it. I am not really applying for a senior writer position. But your environment sounded so attractive that I had to take time out of my normal job-hunting and blogging to see if you had any work for someone who can write knowledgeably about technology and management issues with a sense of humor. "
Hey, what if there actually was some one in HR with a sense of humor. Maybe they would show it to someone who was thinking about hiring laid off systems analysts to write about data management and other funny stuff.
Stranger things have happened.
4/30/2004
Warming-Up
Today looks like a real spring day here in the suburbs of Boston. The last day of April brings hope, because it means the cold weather is mostly behind us. In about three weeks we can safely plant those marigolds and tomato sets outside. Memorial day marks the last-frost-date for old time farmers, but nowadays we cheat a little and plant in mid-may.
Cleaning day. But instead of evacuating to the library today, I think I will do some garden chores. I have hostas that need to be divided and replanted, shrubs that need pruning, and a lawn full of incipient dandylions that need to be exterminated.
I look at my lawn and garden as a metaphor for the job scene. Things are warming up. A Promise of fecundity lays in the air like a friendly fog. Or is it smoke from a careless fire? I try not to watch the war news, because every piece of bad news translates into a drop in the stock market indices, and this does nothing to promote job growth.
Some recent activity on the job hunting scene:
- Call from a headhunter who did not speak comprehensible English. From the quality of the connection I surmised that she was calling from India. I did not understand most of what she said. Methinks the outsourcing thing is getting out of hand. I told her a lie: that I was no longer looking for work - just to get her off the phone.
- No follow-up from Phone interview from two weeks ago, despite the PM's promise to let me know. Good. That was a daily commute 30 miles to Shrewsbury. Who needs that?
- Assorted Spam from people who have picked up my email from job boards. I must declare that I have not received a single promising inquiry as a result of posting my vitae on any job board. Most of the spam wants to sell me job hunting advice and counseling, insurance sales, or work at home scams.
- Response to job boards. I see one or two promising jobs every day, and dutifully send my resume and a killer cover letter. Sooner or later, one of these seeds will sprout.
That reminds me, I have work to do: as Voltaire says "Il faut cultiver notre jardin."
Cleaning day. But instead of evacuating to the library today, I think I will do some garden chores. I have hostas that need to be divided and replanted, shrubs that need pruning, and a lawn full of incipient dandylions that need to be exterminated.
I look at my lawn and garden as a metaphor for the job scene. Things are warming up. A Promise of fecundity lays in the air like a friendly fog. Or is it smoke from a careless fire? I try not to watch the war news, because every piece of bad news translates into a drop in the stock market indices, and this does nothing to promote job growth.
Some recent activity on the job hunting scene:
- Call from a headhunter who did not speak comprehensible English. From the quality of the connection I surmised that she was calling from India. I did not understand most of what she said. Methinks the outsourcing thing is getting out of hand. I told her a lie: that I was no longer looking for work - just to get her off the phone.
- No follow-up from Phone interview from two weeks ago, despite the PM's promise to let me know. Good. That was a daily commute 30 miles to Shrewsbury. Who needs that?
- Assorted Spam from people who have picked up my email from job boards. I must declare that I have not received a single promising inquiry as a result of posting my vitae on any job board. Most of the spam wants to sell me job hunting advice and counseling, insurance sales, or work at home scams.
- Response to job boards. I see one or two promising jobs every day, and dutifully send my resume and a killer cover letter. Sooner or later, one of these seeds will sprout.
That reminds me, I have work to do: as Voltaire says "Il faut cultiver notre jardin."
4/28/2004
Good Will Hunting
Ok Ok I know. I'm getting slammed with emails because I have been lazy about the blog lately. If you've tried it you know that publishing clever and timely essays on a regular basis is not that easy. I am not looking for sympathy here just a little understanding. If I wanted to write to a deadline I'd get a job on a fucking newspaper. And get paid. Last time I checked this link is free to you, so just cut me a little slack, ok?
The job hunting has not been going well, according to my creditors. They think that I should be paying my bills on a monthly basis! Hey, I thought this was a free country!
No. Seriously folks, despite the recent spate of positive news articles about the economic expansion, my phone has been remarkably not ringing. I guess the corporate world has decided to stop hiring experienced systems analysts - merely because of their exhorbitant salary demands and refusal to work overtime. What? Hiring managers want young, bright, energetic, eager beavers who will work for scut wages?
Or maybe the word has gotton out about me! Crap.
The job hunting has not been going well, according to my creditors. They think that I should be paying my bills on a monthly basis! Hey, I thought this was a free country!
No. Seriously folks, despite the recent spate of positive news articles about the economic expansion, my phone has been remarkably not ringing. I guess the corporate world has decided to stop hiring experienced systems analysts - merely because of their exhorbitant salary demands and refusal to work overtime. What? Hiring managers want young, bright, energetic, eager beavers who will work for scut wages?
Or maybe the word has gotton out about me! Crap.
4/20/2004
Shoot Greenspan
NEW YORK (AP) - Wall Street tumbled Tuesday as Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, confirming investors' fears about interest rates, hinted in congressional testimony that a rate increase is indeed expected.
Can we put this peckerhead in jail for screwing with the markets? This is worse than anything Martha Stewart has done.
Can we put this peckerhead in jail for screwing with the markets? This is worse than anything Martha Stewart has done.
4/16/2004
Don't Shoot
I have to admit I was feeling bored yesterday. I think it is the cumulative effect of three days of rain. No lunch plans, and unable to get out of the house to take a walk, or work in the yard, I began to experience what housewives call "cabin fever."
After you've read the newspaper and all the magazines and even memorized your mutual fund prospecti, there seems little to do other than to watch TV and drink gin. Please note that I have stuck with my vow not to do either until after 5pm. So the days can drag. My wife has little pity on me "You might try to get a job." she suggests cruelly.
No one has much sympathy for an unemployed man unless he wears the look of a worried jobseeker. Spouses and friends drop not so subtle accusations that perhaps the above-referenced unemployed man (UM) is not trying very hard. Wouldn't a serious job hunter go to bed before midnight, rise with the sun, take a brisk walk, shower, shave, get dressed and get on the phone - to ruthlessly network innocent acquaintances? After all, how can a diligent UM expect to get interviews and job offers sitting on the sofa scratching his butt and reading novels? He claims to have spent hours on the internet scouring job boards for Business Systems Analyst openings. He is weary from scouring the boards, and is taking a well-deserved break.
"I send my resume to every job in my ballpark," he retorts. "Don't shoot the messenger."
He has learned that phrase - don't shoot the messenger - tends to defuse criticism, halts accusations and creates a dramatic rhetorical pause, during which he can slip way practically un-noticed while his confused interlocutor wonders "What the heck did he mean by that?"
This is my gift to readers of this blog. Try it next time someone is berating you for something, even if you deserve it.
Hey, is that the sun? Excuse me I got stuff to do.
After you've read the newspaper and all the magazines and even memorized your mutual fund prospecti, there seems little to do other than to watch TV and drink gin. Please note that I have stuck with my vow not to do either until after 5pm. So the days can drag. My wife has little pity on me "You might try to get a job." she suggests cruelly.
No one has much sympathy for an unemployed man unless he wears the look of a worried jobseeker. Spouses and friends drop not so subtle accusations that perhaps the above-referenced unemployed man (UM) is not trying very hard. Wouldn't a serious job hunter go to bed before midnight, rise with the sun, take a brisk walk, shower, shave, get dressed and get on the phone - to ruthlessly network innocent acquaintances? After all, how can a diligent UM expect to get interviews and job offers sitting on the sofa scratching his butt and reading novels? He claims to have spent hours on the internet scouring job boards for Business Systems Analyst openings. He is weary from scouring the boards, and is taking a well-deserved break.
"I send my resume to every job in my ballpark," he retorts. "Don't shoot the messenger."
He has learned that phrase - don't shoot the messenger - tends to defuse criticism, halts accusations and creates a dramatic rhetorical pause, during which he can slip way practically un-noticed while his confused interlocutor wonders "What the heck did he mean by that?"
This is my gift to readers of this blog. Try it next time someone is berating you for something, even if you deserve it.
Hey, is that the sun? Excuse me I got stuff to do.
4/14/2004
Move over TS
The poet T.S.Eliot nailed it with his observation that "April is the cruelest month." I'm not certain whether he was referring to the tax deadline, the shitty weather, rising fuel prices, psoriasis flare-ups, or lack of employment, but I can identify with the feeling. April starts with the promise of wonderous new beginnings. It sucks you in, seduces you with dreams of verdant spring and just when you think you can get an early jump on the garden, April leaves you cold and wet with little to do but watch the 9/11 hearings. Hey, I am not interested in finger pointing about 9/11. I am much more concerned with the intel that made us attack Iraq. I want to know about the UN corruption that put $3 Billion dollars into Saddam's bank accounts during the Oil-For-Food program.
I learned yesterday that my old company has laid off another large group of people. Suddenly, and cruelly, the axe fell without warning.
Where are all those new jobs?
I learned yesterday that my old company has laid off another large group of people. Suddenly, and cruelly, the axe fell without warning.
Where are all those new jobs?
4/05/2004
Opportunist
Monday morning - the usual drill. Read the newspaper: Hmmn it says 308,000 new jobs were added to the US economy in March. Great! Where are they? Check the phone maybe the ringer is broken. Nope, it's working ok. Hmmn - wonder where those jobs are....Hope it isn't just a convenient statistic floated by the current administration to divert attention from the 9/11 commission inquiries.
Then, I check the Obituaries to see if anyone I know has died. (one needs to be creative in discovering new job openings). Despite the optimism of pundits about the improving job scene, the big problem is the trillions of other unemployed folks out there. The objective is to get a jump on the competition.
There was another Systems Analyst ad on careerbuilder.com for an investment company that has been "in the news" lately. Thinking that some jobseekers might be reluctant to join an organization whose PR people are probably on the verge of self immolation, I decided to apply.
Crap. This company uses the PeopleSoft e-recruitment module. In typical PSoft fashion, this module takes about 1/2hour to enter all the dumb pieces of information that are required. Most web sites allow you to do this in 2-3 minutes.
There are 8 steps, most of which are agonizing and klunkily designed. You can upload your MS word resume, but then you have to spend 20 minutes correcting all the parsing errors. There is no option for a self promoting cover letter. It is totally designed to screen people out. I guess the process of elimination yields the best candidate. After I completed the process, there is a small part of me who will be insulted if I am selected for follow-up (could I really be as boring as the job description?)
On the other hand, the 8 step process will certainly weed-out any competitors who do not have a half an hour to waste correcting informations that they submitted on their resume, or who cannot figure out how to pick their college major and degree from the silliest lookup list I have ever encountered. Paradoxically, you cannnot apply for a job unless you can figure out how the HR group classified it. (Hint: if you think Sr. Systems Analyst is an Information Technology job, hah! you lose!) The job title listed on Careerbuilder is not listed on the company's job search list. This should make a few more of the faint-hearted give up. I found a similar title, however and got my resume into the system, where the incredibly sophisticated software will slice and dice.
Hey, that's what we love about PeopleSoft, it creates jobs - in this case, for somebody in Human Resources to update lookup tables. Hmmn. Come to think of it, maybe those people would be more effective looking at resumes, and cover letters.
It's quiet around here. What happened to Spring?
Then, I check the Obituaries to see if anyone I know has died. (one needs to be creative in discovering new job openings). Despite the optimism of pundits about the improving job scene, the big problem is the trillions of other unemployed folks out there. The objective is to get a jump on the competition.
There was another Systems Analyst ad on careerbuilder.com for an investment company that has been "in the news" lately. Thinking that some jobseekers might be reluctant to join an organization whose PR people are probably on the verge of self immolation, I decided to apply.
Crap. This company uses the PeopleSoft e-recruitment module. In typical PSoft fashion, this module takes about 1/2hour to enter all the dumb pieces of information that are required. Most web sites allow you to do this in 2-3 minutes.
There are 8 steps, most of which are agonizing and klunkily designed. You can upload your MS word resume, but then you have to spend 20 minutes correcting all the parsing errors. There is no option for a self promoting cover letter. It is totally designed to screen people out. I guess the process of elimination yields the best candidate. After I completed the process, there is a small part of me who will be insulted if I am selected for follow-up (could I really be as boring as the job description?)
On the other hand, the 8 step process will certainly weed-out any competitors who do not have a half an hour to waste correcting informations that they submitted on their resume, or who cannot figure out how to pick their college major and degree from the silliest lookup list I have ever encountered. Paradoxically, you cannnot apply for a job unless you can figure out how the HR group classified it. (Hint: if you think Sr. Systems Analyst is an Information Technology job, hah! you lose!) The job title listed on Careerbuilder is not listed on the company's job search list. This should make a few more of the faint-hearted give up. I found a similar title, however and got my resume into the system, where the incredibly sophisticated software will slice and dice.
Hey, that's what we love about PeopleSoft, it creates jobs - in this case, for somebody in Human Resources to update lookup tables. Hmmn. Come to think of it, maybe those people would be more effective looking at resumes, and cover letters.
It's quiet around here. What happened to Spring?
4/02/2004
Raining on my parade
It's cleaning day at home, so I am at the library again researching the world of business.
The latest Computerworld (March 29) has an article about a $510M lawsuit that Cleveland State University is slapping on PeopleSoft. Wow. This sounds very familiar. The charge stems from 1997, when the University began their project to implement Student Admin, Financial Aid, etc. They charge that PeopleSoft's offerings were nothing but "vaporware" and that subsequent versions were "woefully deficient." They are also suing the implementation partner for other crimes and misdemeanors.
Hmmn. I recall being associated with a similar project at the Diploma Factory where I worked at that time. If they decide to sue PSoft, I hope I get a piece of the award. I deserve it because the deficiencies in the software used-up a shitload of my time, and caused me many sleepless afternoons. (Now that I think of it, I never got credit for all the great things I did there at the Diploma Factory. Another environment that failed to recognize my genius. Yet, the guy who insisted that we replace cheap, effective Outlook with expensive, memory hogging, woefully deficient Lotus Notes is still there, making more money than ever! Where's the justice?)
It just shows that the real problem with work life in America is that nobody gets fired for making bad decisions. Executives in government, universities, companies seem to be bulletproof. In Japan when the decision maker screws up, they expiate their shame by plunging a sharp knife into their own chest. You gotta respect that. Yet, most of the working stiffs at ground level work in the shadow of fear - of layoffs, demotions, pay cuts - and are told to be glad they have a job.
Speaking of genius, I got a thing in my email box the other day, that reported research on presidential IQ's. According to the list, Bill Clinton has an IQ over 180 and George W. Bush's IQ is slightly above room temperature (91). I know my liberal friends want to believe the verity of the story but in fact it is an April Fool's Day joke. It first appeared in 2001.
Another article in the above-mentioned Computerworld said the 8 out of 10 CEOs are ready to start spending big bucks on IT again. The author predicts a big demand in Business Intelligence skills in 2004. Great, where do I send my resume? Not so fast, Sparky, says today's Globe. The piece in the Business section declares that 40 % of the people working today are dissatisfied and want to move. Cripes, just what I need: more competition.
This never-ending rain is getting me down.
The latest Computerworld (March 29) has an article about a $510M lawsuit that Cleveland State University is slapping on PeopleSoft. Wow. This sounds very familiar. The charge stems from 1997, when the University began their project to implement Student Admin, Financial Aid, etc. They charge that PeopleSoft's offerings were nothing but "vaporware" and that subsequent versions were "woefully deficient." They are also suing the implementation partner for other crimes and misdemeanors.
Hmmn. I recall being associated with a similar project at the Diploma Factory where I worked at that time. If they decide to sue PSoft, I hope I get a piece of the award. I deserve it because the deficiencies in the software used-up a shitload of my time, and caused me many sleepless afternoons. (Now that I think of it, I never got credit for all the great things I did there at the Diploma Factory. Another environment that failed to recognize my genius. Yet, the guy who insisted that we replace cheap, effective Outlook with expensive, memory hogging, woefully deficient Lotus Notes is still there, making more money than ever! Where's the justice?)
It just shows that the real problem with work life in America is that nobody gets fired for making bad decisions. Executives in government, universities, companies seem to be bulletproof. In Japan when the decision maker screws up, they expiate their shame by plunging a sharp knife into their own chest. You gotta respect that. Yet, most of the working stiffs at ground level work in the shadow of fear - of layoffs, demotions, pay cuts - and are told to be glad they have a job.
Speaking of genius, I got a thing in my email box the other day, that reported research on presidential IQ's. According to the list, Bill Clinton has an IQ over 180 and George W. Bush's IQ is slightly above room temperature (91). I know my liberal friends want to believe the verity of the story but in fact it is an April Fool's Day joke. It first appeared in 2001.
Another article in the above-mentioned Computerworld said the 8 out of 10 CEOs are ready to start spending big bucks on IT again. The author predicts a big demand in Business Intelligence skills in 2004. Great, where do I send my resume? Not so fast, Sparky, says today's Globe. The piece in the Business section declares that 40 % of the people working today are dissatisfied and want to move. Cripes, just what I need: more competition.
This never-ending rain is getting me down.
3/22/2004
Benedict Arnold CEO's
Sen. Kerry has been quoted in the news lately saying harsh things about business leaders who are shipping jobs overseas - where the work can get done cheaper - while their own compensation levels remain obscenely high. Anti-Kerry forces have enjoyed pointing to the numerous offshore operations of his wife's Ketchup plants. I think this level of discourse in unbecoming. It also misses an important point.
Any manager at any level has two priorities these days: Cut costs, and maximize personal reward. The first they do for the company, the latter is for the self. It is the nature of the beast. Outsourcing/ offshoring is merely a smart way to do business. Just like hiring young energetic people for $36K is smarter than hiring a fat old guy for $90 or $100k - if the job can be done cheaper, it just makes good business sense.
Besides, according to this week's Business Week, the real culprit is NOT offshoring jobs. No friends the real cause of lost jobs is productivity. After all these years, all the investment in process improvement is paying off. The BW article says about 300,000 jobs went overseas but 2. 5 million jobs have been simply eliminated by better technology.
This makes a lot of sense. Look at all the clerical and support jobs that have been obsoleted by improvements in telephony, web self service, bar coding, word processing, spreadsheets. And aren't the job losses a bit inflated by all those Y2K COBOL experts who were living large during the Millenium scare.
So, let's not castigate CEO's for being not being patriotic. It is un-american to criticize greed and self interest. Especially if you are sitting on a fortune built on cheap ketchup labor.
Any manager at any level has two priorities these days: Cut costs, and maximize personal reward. The first they do for the company, the latter is for the self. It is the nature of the beast. Outsourcing/ offshoring is merely a smart way to do business. Just like hiring young energetic people for $36K is smarter than hiring a fat old guy for $90 or $100k - if the job can be done cheaper, it just makes good business sense.
Besides, according to this week's Business Week, the real culprit is NOT offshoring jobs. No friends the real cause of lost jobs is productivity. After all these years, all the investment in process improvement is paying off. The BW article says about 300,000 jobs went overseas but 2. 5 million jobs have been simply eliminated by better technology.
This makes a lot of sense. Look at all the clerical and support jobs that have been obsoleted by improvements in telephony, web self service, bar coding, word processing, spreadsheets. And aren't the job losses a bit inflated by all those Y2K COBOL experts who were living large during the Millenium scare.
So, let's not castigate CEO's for being not being patriotic. It is un-american to criticize greed and self interest. Especially if you are sitting on a fortune built on cheap ketchup labor.
3/19/2004
Cannot Understand Why I'm Not Rich
The cleaners come every two weeks. I make it my policy to get out of their way. So, generally I find myself at the Wellesley Free Library periodical room, which is a great inexpensive way to catch up on the latest issue of HBR, Business Week, Computerworld and other items of interest.
I have noticed that there are very few Victoria Secrets models in the periodical room. In fact, I rarely find any attractive females. Moreover the median age of people in the periodical room is about 55, so the guys are not that attractive either.
Not that I have time for such friviolities as ranking the attractivness of my fellow library patrons. I am busy with my research.
One of the mysteries that has always puzzled me is why I am not rich. Every time I pick up a newspaper or magazine, everytime I watch TV, even just sitting in a coffee shop watching the cars go by, I see people who are rich. These people do not typically seem to be smarter, better looking or talented than I , yet they are driving nice Mercedes autos, showing off the new pool, or wearing outfits that probably cost more than I spend on beer in a year.
I suppose I could be wealthier if I had a job. But, strangely I seem not to be in the cohort that appears on the most-wanted-list of potential employers. If I were a hiring manager, I would be looking for people like me: mature, well fed, good sense of humor, willing to show up most of the time, expert in my field - that sort of thing. Ok, some of my former bosses have deemed me an "insubordinate bleeptard", but I call them "micromanaging nitpickers" so, I guess we are even on that score. Anyway, it still seems funny that so many Captains of Industry have opted to set sail without someone like me aboard as moral compass, First Mate, or even as deckhand. Hey, is that an Iceberg ahead? Ha ha I'm just keeding.
I learned something important today. I decided to grab a bagel and coffee. I parked at a meter and put a quarter in for 60 minutes. I had another quarter, but how long would it take to eat a bagel and drink a medium coffee? One quarter would do it. Then I decided that since I had 60 minutes on the meter, I would bring a book to read. Long story short: I got back to the car 63 minutes later. The meter vulture must have been waiting for it to get to zero. I have a $10 parking ticket. Now, I am decidedly less rich that I was when I started, all because of some over eager Meter Maid, probably fat and ugly too. So the lesson is: Some jobs shouldn't be done so efficiently.
I have noticed that there are very few Victoria Secrets models in the periodical room. In fact, I rarely find any attractive females. Moreover the median age of people in the periodical room is about 55, so the guys are not that attractive either.
Not that I have time for such friviolities as ranking the attractivness of my fellow library patrons. I am busy with my research.
One of the mysteries that has always puzzled me is why I am not rich. Every time I pick up a newspaper or magazine, everytime I watch TV, even just sitting in a coffee shop watching the cars go by, I see people who are rich. These people do not typically seem to be smarter, better looking or talented than I , yet they are driving nice Mercedes autos, showing off the new pool, or wearing outfits that probably cost more than I spend on beer in a year.
I suppose I could be wealthier if I had a job. But, strangely I seem not to be in the cohort that appears on the most-wanted-list of potential employers. If I were a hiring manager, I would be looking for people like me: mature, well fed, good sense of humor, willing to show up most of the time, expert in my field - that sort of thing. Ok, some of my former bosses have deemed me an "insubordinate bleeptard", but I call them "micromanaging nitpickers" so, I guess we are even on that score. Anyway, it still seems funny that so many Captains of Industry have opted to set sail without someone like me aboard as moral compass, First Mate, or even as deckhand. Hey, is that an Iceberg ahead? Ha ha I'm just keeding.
I learned something important today. I decided to grab a bagel and coffee. I parked at a meter and put a quarter in for 60 minutes. I had another quarter, but how long would it take to eat a bagel and drink a medium coffee? One quarter would do it. Then I decided that since I had 60 minutes on the meter, I would bring a book to read. Long story short: I got back to the car 63 minutes later. The meter vulture must have been waiting for it to get to zero. I have a $10 parking ticket. Now, I am decidedly less rich that I was when I started, all because of some over eager Meter Maid, probably fat and ugly too. So the lesson is: Some jobs shouldn't be done so efficiently.
3/18/2004
Panic's Over
Day after St Patty's Day. We managed to observe the holiday the way we almost always have: guzzling beer, gorging on corned beef and cabbage, and sipping a wee dram or two of Jameson's.
The threatened storm came and went. Nowhere near the ferocity or depth that was predicted by fear-mongering weather/news people. A annoyed populace was able to dig-out so they could get to work. Many were no doubt hung over from extended pre-celebratory get togethers. And a hair of the dog might have seemed just the thing for lunch.
Have you noticed that when you see a vehicle spun out in a snowstorm, invariably it is an SUV? Does driving a big gas guzzler affect the drivers' judgment, or were they boobs to start with? Meteorological questions, I guess.
Note to self: Vinny T's is practically deserted at lunchtime on St Patty's Day, and they are proud not to serve corned beef. Their tip o' the hat to the green on the daily specials was the pesto chicken, or the chicken stuffed with asparagus. The pubs were no doubt mobbed to suffocation. I didn't check.
After 4 beers, the others went on to another bar where they could get black and tans. I wimped out, knowing that we were going out for a dinner of gourmet corned beef.
When I got home there was a message from a potential employer. They wanted to talk to me about a job I had applied for. Data Services Manager. Hey, that seemed pretty exciting. But, I decided to wait until the 4 beers I had for lunch wore-off before calling back. Good judgment. (I make it a firm rule to be sober when participating in telephone job interviews.)
This morning, refreshed and bushy tailed, I called back. It was a pleasant conversation with a recruiter who sounded interested, until we identified that the job required operational data warehouse management experience in a financial service company. Now, I have had significant experience mucking around in data, specifying ETL processes and designing reports for executives - cripes I even understand multidimensional OLAP cubes. But, as we talked, the stifling truth began to emerge. I am not the right person to administer a beancounter data warehouse. Especially when they want an experienced DW pro.
Well, the day was not a total loss. I went to the New England flower show. It was a nice blast of spring on a cold winter day. I notice they had an equal amount of space set aside for commercial booths as they had for horticultural exhibits. The Parking fee $12 was a rip-off on top of the $17 admissions fee. It's cheaper to go to a Red Sox game, almost.
The threatened storm came and went. Nowhere near the ferocity or depth that was predicted by fear-mongering weather/news people. A annoyed populace was able to dig-out so they could get to work. Many were no doubt hung over from extended pre-celebratory get togethers. And a hair of the dog might have seemed just the thing for lunch.
Have you noticed that when you see a vehicle spun out in a snowstorm, invariably it is an SUV? Does driving a big gas guzzler affect the drivers' judgment, or were they boobs to start with? Meteorological questions, I guess.
Note to self: Vinny T's is practically deserted at lunchtime on St Patty's Day, and they are proud not to serve corned beef. Their tip o' the hat to the green on the daily specials was the pesto chicken, or the chicken stuffed with asparagus. The pubs were no doubt mobbed to suffocation. I didn't check.
After 4 beers, the others went on to another bar where they could get black and tans. I wimped out, knowing that we were going out for a dinner of gourmet corned beef.
When I got home there was a message from a potential employer. They wanted to talk to me about a job I had applied for. Data Services Manager. Hey, that seemed pretty exciting. But, I decided to wait until the 4 beers I had for lunch wore-off before calling back. Good judgment. (I make it a firm rule to be sober when participating in telephone job interviews.)
This morning, refreshed and bushy tailed, I called back. It was a pleasant conversation with a recruiter who sounded interested, until we identified that the job required operational data warehouse management experience in a financial service company. Now, I have had significant experience mucking around in data, specifying ETL processes and designing reports for executives - cripes I even understand multidimensional OLAP cubes. But, as we talked, the stifling truth began to emerge. I am not the right person to administer a beancounter data warehouse. Especially when they want an experienced DW pro.
Well, the day was not a total loss. I went to the New England flower show. It was a nice blast of spring on a cold winter day. I notice they had an equal amount of space set aside for commercial booths as they had for horticultural exhibits. The Parking fee $12 was a rip-off on top of the $17 admissions fee. It's cheaper to go to a Red Sox game, almost.
3/16/2004
SnowStorm!
Somebody help us. We can't talk about anything but snow.
It's like being in a Stephen King movie and feeling the universal dread for the unspeakable horror of a late season Northeaster. Heavens to Mergatroid! How will we survive? It could be up to eight inches of murderous snow, strangling us with Nature's cold and clammy claws. Supermarkets are mobbed with people getting bread and milk and batteries. I'm getting a bit panicky myself - I am low on Dewar's. Be right back....
It's like being in a Stephen King movie and feeling the universal dread for the unspeakable horror of a late season Northeaster. Heavens to Mergatroid! How will we survive? It could be up to eight inches of murderous snow, strangling us with Nature's cold and clammy claws. Supermarkets are mobbed with people getting bread and milk and batteries. I'm getting a bit panicky myself - I am low on Dewar's. Be right back....
3/15/2004
Beware the Ides of March
The umpteenth anniversary of the assassination of Julius Caesar if you believe in the historical accuracy of Shakespeare. One month before tax deadline. Ten months into my underemployment
Actually, since I've been off the paid unemployment rolls, I have started referring to my situation as "forced early retirement" as opposed to "sabbatical". This choice of words seems to more accurately convey my sense that the festive part of the haitus has turned into a grudging resignation that the prospects of re-employment in my field at the same pay level as the job I left are not imminent.
My optimism about a jobfull economic recovery has been replaced by a sense of je ne sais pas. I am still confident that the growth cycle will happen - eventually. I just do not know the time frame. I am not depressed, just more cynical and pessimistic than normal. Shrinks say that cynics are more in touch with reality. Isn't that a good thing?
Et tu, Greenspan?
Actually, since I've been off the paid unemployment rolls, I have started referring to my situation as "forced early retirement" as opposed to "sabbatical". This choice of words seems to more accurately convey my sense that the festive part of the haitus has turned into a grudging resignation that the prospects of re-employment in my field at the same pay level as the job I left are not imminent.
My optimism about a jobfull economic recovery has been replaced by a sense of je ne sais pas. I am still confident that the growth cycle will happen - eventually. I just do not know the time frame. I am not depressed, just more cynical and pessimistic than normal. Shrinks say that cynics are more in touch with reality. Isn't that a good thing?
Et tu, Greenspan?
3/12/2004
Gimmee Shelter
I heard that there is a proposal in Congress to extend unemployment benefits to those of us poor shmucks who just fell of the rolls. I think the number was 390,000 people who don't get counted as "unemployed." Ironically, this makes the job statistics look better. I can hear Bush saying to his staff "Hey, unemployment is down! Let's invade France."
After two days of dramatic stock market losses, I see a huge setback. The Terrorists can blow up trains in Spain and cause the drop in confidence here. That translates to slower job growth.
It's making me nervous. I'd feel a lot better is that old unemployment check was still coming in. Zero per week is a lot less than $500. Write your congressman and support the extension. Don't let them force me to give up my bad habits (or switch to cheaper brands.) Thank you.
After two days of dramatic stock market losses, I see a huge setback. The Terrorists can blow up trains in Spain and cause the drop in confidence here. That translates to slower job growth.
It's making me nervous. I'd feel a lot better is that old unemployment check was still coming in. Zero per week is a lot less than $500. Write your congressman and support the extension. Don't let them force me to give up my bad habits (or switch to cheaper brands.) Thank you.
3/05/2004
Say it Ain't so, Martha
Breaking news: Martha Stewart's job will be vacant for a soon-to-be-specified period, whilst the Diva lends her design skills to the License Plate stamping division at the federal hoosgow. Martha, you should have testified. Juries these days assume you are guilty if you don't testify on your own behalf.
Still, if all the people who took tips and lied about it were tried and sentenced there would be a lot of company for Martha. This could open up a lot of positions for talented honest men and women.
I don't think the rest of us are served by having Ms Stewart go to jail; let's just fine the heck out of her ass! That would be a good message...
I heard that Mitt Romney our current Governor wants to cut unemployment benefits, rather than cut government worker pay raises. Thus, he joins the ranks of the bad guys, in the eyes of this blog Hey, Mitt, cut Bulger's retirement package! Leave the victims alone and go after the fat cat sleazeballs who are squeezing the life out of this state's once-healthy economy.
Still, if all the people who took tips and lied about it were tried and sentenced there would be a lot of company for Martha. This could open up a lot of positions for talented honest men and women.
I don't think the rest of us are served by having Ms Stewart go to jail; let's just fine the heck out of her ass! That would be a good message...
I heard that Mitt Romney our current Governor wants to cut unemployment benefits, rather than cut government worker pay raises. Thus, he joins the ranks of the bad guys, in the eyes of this blog Hey, Mitt, cut Bulger's retirement package! Leave the victims alone and go after the fat cat sleazeballs who are squeezing the life out of this state's once-healthy economy.
3/04/2004
Outsource This!
I read in the paper this morning that they are splitting Eisner's job at Disney into two separate positions! This could signal a trend back to the old, inefficient days - when people only had one job to do. Since the collapse of the economy in late 2000, the trend in business has been to shrink the payroll. The remaining workers have been asked to assume the responsibilities of their former colleagues, often without increased remuneration. This is probably part of the reason that two thirds of the current workforce says they are "dissatisfied" on surveys.
So, maybe some leaders have figured-out that the old model of separating duties and responsibilities is better in the long run.
My observation is that Super Star performers in business do not value the strength of teams, and their ego-driven effectiveness is often short lived. The best quarterbacks in the NFL know that they will not complete a single pass unless the offensive line protects them. They are less prone to think of team members as mere interchangable parts or boxes on an org chart. Maybe more business executives should watch more football.
There was an article in yesterday's WSJ which alluded to cases where certain outsourcing efforts had proved to be a failure. The problem is with outsourcing jobs that cannot be reduced to an assembly line operation or script. They are finding that in areas such as Customer Service and other work that involves relationship management or ad hoc decisions, the offshore outsourcing model fails.
This seems like good news to those of us with softer skills, whose potential value to an organization resides in the accrued experiences, charm and wit.
So, maybe some leaders have figured-out that the old model of separating duties and responsibilities is better in the long run.
My observation is that Super Star performers in business do not value the strength of teams, and their ego-driven effectiveness is often short lived. The best quarterbacks in the NFL know that they will not complete a single pass unless the offensive line protects them. They are less prone to think of team members as mere interchangable parts or boxes on an org chart. Maybe more business executives should watch more football.
There was an article in yesterday's WSJ which alluded to cases where certain outsourcing efforts had proved to be a failure. The problem is with outsourcing jobs that cannot be reduced to an assembly line operation or script. They are finding that in areas such as Customer Service and other work that involves relationship management or ad hoc decisions, the offshore outsourcing model fails.
This seems like good news to those of us with softer skills, whose potential value to an organization resides in the accrued experiences, charm and wit.
3/03/2004
Job Abandonment
Yesterday the temp was close to 65 degrees. The forecasted rain and clouds burnt off before noon and the outdoors yanked me from the house, made me take a long unhurried walk followed by some recreational raking up of fallen pine cones. The ground in the back yard is still too soggy to work on, but in front, where the drainage is better, I was able to loosen up some stiff muscles with the rake.
My friend George came by for high "tea" - as we call it. Actually, we finished off the remaining Harpoon Irish red ales. Poured into frosty glasses. Very Refreshing. We discussed the political scene. It was primary voting day here in Kerry's homestate (I voted unenthusiastically for Edwards - mainly as a protest to Senator Kerry, who had not shown-up for work until yesterday (to grand-stand for the ban against assault rifles).
I am annoyed by the spate of local politicians who run for office, get elected and then abandon their posts, because they are more interested in other jobs. ( eg, Gov. Weld, his successor Celluci, and recently - a state senator who quit to become a lesbian activist). How come these folks don't think their jobs are important enough to stay in? Job abandonment should be punished.
This morning there was a picture in the paper that showed a local voting place with a big sign that read "Vote Aqui" under the "Vote Here" lettering. You mean some of the voters don't speak the language???
It reminded me that we should tighten up our restrictions on voting in this country. You know, just establish a few common sense rules about who is allowed to vote: 1) Citizens only 2) Must read and understand English 3) Must be able to vote alone in booth. 4) No inmates or convicted felons. I would also abolish absentee ballots except for Military personnel. Also I would move Voting times to weekends, and while we're at it, let's hire living people to work at the polls. Looking at the death-warmed-over gang who run elections gives me the shivers.
Other than this, I have no strong feelings on the matter.
My friend George came by for high "tea" - as we call it. Actually, we finished off the remaining Harpoon Irish red ales. Poured into frosty glasses. Very Refreshing. We discussed the political scene. It was primary voting day here in Kerry's homestate (I voted unenthusiastically for Edwards - mainly as a protest to Senator Kerry, who had not shown-up for work until yesterday (to grand-stand for the ban against assault rifles).
I am annoyed by the spate of local politicians who run for office, get elected and then abandon their posts, because they are more interested in other jobs. ( eg, Gov. Weld, his successor Celluci, and recently - a state senator who quit to become a lesbian activist). How come these folks don't think their jobs are important enough to stay in? Job abandonment should be punished.
This morning there was a picture in the paper that showed a local voting place with a big sign that read "Vote Aqui" under the "Vote Here" lettering. You mean some of the voters don't speak the language???
It reminded me that we should tighten up our restrictions on voting in this country. You know, just establish a few common sense rules about who is allowed to vote: 1) Citizens only 2) Must read and understand English 3) Must be able to vote alone in booth. 4) No inmates or convicted felons. I would also abolish absentee ballots except for Military personnel. Also I would move Voting times to weekends, and while we're at it, let's hire living people to work at the polls. Looking at the death-warmed-over gang who run elections gives me the shivers.
Other than this, I have no strong feelings on the matter.
3/01/2004
Suddenly Spring
It was 50 degrees today in the Boston area. March has come in like a furry little lamb. I washed and waxed the Caravan. I went to the fire station to get my burning permit, I got the propane tank for the gas grill filled. I got my outdoor chair out of winter storage in the shed and sat in the warmth of the sun, smoking a cigar and sipping on a Harpoon Irish red ale.
As I surveyed my kingdom, my thoughts of job hunting have been elbowed-out by thoughts about what I need to do in the yard and garden. Tomato seeds need to be started. The fence needs work. There is painting to be done on the west side of the house.
Life as an unemployed systems analyst suddenly seems really good.
As I surveyed my kingdom, my thoughts of job hunting have been elbowed-out by thoughts about what I need to do in the yard and garden. Tomato seeds need to be started. The fence needs work. There is painting to be done on the west side of the house.
Life as an unemployed systems analyst suddenly seems really good.
2/27/2004
Thud
That's the sound of a record number of us who have just fallen off the roles of the Dept of Unemployment benefits. The job scene is disappointing. Don't be mad at us for wanting the government to give us some help. We have been putting into the system for thirty of forty years.
I know what you are thinking, "Hey, you got paid for doing nothing for nine months. Quit whining!" Good point. But, don't forget, every cent I got went to taxes, or spent in a retail store - none of it went into savings, I assure you. I did everything I could to keep the economy going....maybe I'm a sort of american hero.
Has anyone been watching "The Apprentice"? In my opinion it has gone from tedious to irritating. Trump is the archtypical asshole who makes most people hate their jobs and fear the ego of the boss.
I'm anxious to get back to work, does it show?
I know what you are thinking, "Hey, you got paid for doing nothing for nine months. Quit whining!" Good point. But, don't forget, every cent I got went to taxes, or spent in a retail store - none of it went into savings, I assure you. I did everything I could to keep the economy going....maybe I'm a sort of american hero.
Has anyone been watching "The Apprentice"? In my opinion it has gone from tedious to irritating. Trump is the archtypical asshole who makes most people hate their jobs and fear the ego of the boss.
I'm anxious to get back to work, does it show?
2/16/2004
The Perfect Gig
We went to the movies the other night. The film was titled "The Cooler." Alec Baldwin was a very convincing old school Casino manager who resists the efforts of younger Ivy league trained management from changing things and pushing him out of the way.
The Cooler was a guy who had such bad luck that people near him also had bad luck. So, the Cooler is on the payroll of the casino to walk around and sit at tables where a patron is having a hot streak and cool him/her down. Interesting concept.
Is it possible to cool down an entire job market? We need to find out who's doing it and get rid of him.
The Cooler was a guy who had such bad luck that people near him also had bad luck. So, the Cooler is on the payroll of the casino to walk around and sit at tables where a patron is having a hot streak and cool him/her down. Interesting concept.
Is it possible to cool down an entire job market? We need to find out who's doing it and get rid of him.
2/12/2004
Easy Money
I was watching the news last night when the idea came to me in a flash. There is a huge reward on Oama Bin Laden - I think it is $25 million US currency. All I need to do is get a couple of buddies with AK-47's, some flack Jackets, MRE's and (very important) handcuffs.
We just catch a plane to Pakistan, go up into the hills and capture him. The money gets divided equally, except I get an extra million for coming-up with the idea. Hey, I wonder if the bounty is tax free?
Who's in?
We just catch a plane to Pakistan, go up into the hills and capture him. The money gets divided equally, except I get an extra million for coming-up with the idea. Hey, I wonder if the bounty is tax free?
Who's in?
2/09/2004
When HR Doesn't Get It
It is common knowledge that a jobseeker should not waste his time sending unsolicited resumes to the HR department. They do not have the capacity or mission to be proactive about staffing. I reminded myself of this fact yesterday when - in an admitted moment of weakness and desparation - sent an email to the HR dept of a local college (Hillary's alma mater). I thought a human might actually read the incoming emails. Clearly, they rely on an automated text scanner to route incoming mail.
Partial text of what I sent:
Subject: Business Systems Analyst
"Please forward to your Chief Information Officer
I am currently an Independent Contractor who is seeking interesting IT projects. I have campus experience and reside locally. As an experienced business systems analyst, with a background as a functional user/manager and project leader," blah-blah-blah.
This morning I got this reply:
" We appreciate your interest in the employment opportunities at Hillary
College. However, it was noted upon receiving your application that the
position for which you wish to be considered is not amongst the
information you have provided. You may visit our website at
www.hillarycollege.edu/HR/careers to view a listing of all our currently
available positions. Please resubmit your resume and cover letter yo us
with this information and we will be happy to process your application.
We regret any inconveniences and wish you the best of luck on your future
career endeavors.
Sincerely,
Human Resources
Hillary College
---------------------------------------------------------
I replied, quoting their excessive verbiage:
"However, it was noted upon receiving your application that the
position for which you wish to be considered is not amongst the
information you have provided.
Dear HR Dept,
I would have edited this sentence to read:
"We don't actually read incoming mail"
And I would have used a spellchecker.
Thanks for your interest
--------------------------------------------------------------
Shortly afterwards I received this email:
Thank you for applying for a position at Hillary College. For further
information regarding your application, please visit
http://www.hillary.edu/HR/careers/AAsurvey.html
Thank you.
-------------------------------------------------------------
It turns out that the system is designed to accept resumes only for open positions.
I really wouldn't fit in there anyway. So I deleted everything and pretended nothing had ever happened. Which in fact is true. Anybody want to do lunch?
Partial text of what I sent:
Subject: Business Systems Analyst
"Please forward to your Chief Information Officer
I am currently an Independent Contractor who is seeking interesting IT projects. I have campus experience and reside locally. As an experienced business systems analyst, with a background as a functional user/manager and project leader," blah-blah-blah.
This morning I got this reply:
" We appreciate your interest in the employment opportunities at Hillary
College. However, it was noted upon receiving your application that the
position for which you wish to be considered is not amongst the
information you have provided. You may visit our website at
www.hillarycollege.edu/HR/careers to view a listing of all our currently
available positions. Please resubmit your resume and cover letter yo us
with this information and we will be happy to process your application.
We regret any inconveniences and wish you the best of luck on your future
career endeavors.
Sincerely,
Human Resources
Hillary College
---------------------------------------------------------
I replied, quoting their excessive verbiage:
"However, it was noted upon receiving your application that the
position for which you wish to be considered is not amongst the
information you have provided.
Dear HR Dept,
I would have edited this sentence to read:
"We don't actually read incoming mail"
And I would have used a spellchecker.
Thanks for your interest
--------------------------------------------------------------
Shortly afterwards I received this email:
Thank you for applying for a position at Hillary College. For further
information regarding your application, please visit
http://www.hillary.edu/HR/careers/AAsurvey.html
Thank you.
-------------------------------------------------------------
It turns out that the system is designed to accept resumes only for open positions.
I really wouldn't fit in there anyway. So I deleted everything and pretended nothing had ever happened. Which in fact is true. Anybody want to do lunch?
2/06/2004
Age Discrimination
This is a topic of interest to guys like me, who have been working for thirty years and would like to keep going while we still have the energy and interest in working - not to mention the desire to have some folding green to pay our bar tabs.
A former colleague and I were discussing the topic of age discrimination the other day. We both agreed that we felt our ages were a challenge in looking for a job in this economy. But, I pointed out, it was not because we were geezers, it was because we have been making too much money. Whether we like it or not, hiring managers don't think they need to spend a lot of money to get their problems solved. Hiring managers today have tight budgets, unlike the glorious period from 1993 to 2001. They are willing to settle for more affordable less experienced employees - who are probably younger.
If we present ourselves as "willing to work for less" they are (rightfully) suspicious of our commitment. They know that as soon as the economy improves we will be looking for that old level of pay again. It's not age discrimination so much as intelligent staffing. we would do the same thing if we were doing the hiring.
I hear Home Depot is partnering with AARP to hire geezers to work in their stores. Who knows, this could be a trend. The phone will probably be ringing soon!
A former colleague and I were discussing the topic of age discrimination the other day. We both agreed that we felt our ages were a challenge in looking for a job in this economy. But, I pointed out, it was not because we were geezers, it was because we have been making too much money. Whether we like it or not, hiring managers don't think they need to spend a lot of money to get their problems solved. Hiring managers today have tight budgets, unlike the glorious period from 1993 to 2001. They are willing to settle for more affordable less experienced employees - who are probably younger.
If we present ourselves as "willing to work for less" they are (rightfully) suspicious of our commitment. They know that as soon as the economy improves we will be looking for that old level of pay again. It's not age discrimination so much as intelligent staffing. we would do the same thing if we were doing the hiring.
I hear Home Depot is partnering with AARP to hire geezers to work in their stores. Who knows, this could be a trend. The phone will probably be ringing soon!
2/01/2004
Superbowl Sunday
Last week I bought a shredder. I've had a lot of time to think about things and lately, I've been thinking about identity theft. I have financial records going back thirty years, but I have been reluctant to just chuck boxes full of cancelled checks, credit card statements, pay slips, tax forms.
Many of these items have important account and SS# on them. (If I was planning to go into the identity-theft business, I'd bribe someone who was working at a dump, to peruse the landfill for documents containing valuable identity info.)
So, when I saw that Staple was selling a shredder for $29.95 (after rebate) I decided to buy it. Since then I have been busier than an Arther Anderson Auditor at Enron, going through dusty shoe boxes of ancient and forgotten papers, shredding anything that had a SS# on it and dumping old bank records and receipts. In those old shoeboxes, I found many items that reminded me of events that had long ago been forgotten: Dr Bill for birth of first child in 1970 ($400); Hospital bill for 5 days maternity confinement ($350), Bill of sale for 1970 Dodge ($2,130), papers on the purchase of our first home - a 5 room ranch in Waltham ($24,000), stuff like that.
There were reams of old resumes, job descriptions, essays on the nature of work. Most of these I am finally relegating to the landfill. Among the papers was a list of all the jobs I had done from High School to about 5 years ago. The list started with my military experience (warrior, painter, cost accountant, disaster control specialist) and included part time jobs (Bus Boy, Ranch Hand at a dude ranch). Jobs that helped pay college expenses (courier driver, bus driver, painter, UPS package handler, clerk in a mountaineering store, mover, lawn maintenance). Then, "real" jobs (Headhunter, Registrar, Sales Administration, MIS Analyst, Marketing services manager, program manager). During the last recession in the early 90's, I did lots of different stuff: Resume writing, doing surveys for IDC, selling refrigerators and stoves, testing software interfaces, researching sales automation tools, freelance systems analysis, writing for Computerworld. Then, back in the mainstream at Bull Express - managing a direct marketing database system. I added to the list, my more recent engagements: the University (where I learned about ERP, data analysis tools,and started the Data Warehouse), finally to the staffing company (where I learned the value of managing relationships with business partners).
Ok, it's a pretty tedious list, but the point is that I learned something of lasting value from every one of those experiences and organizations.
The prospect of learning something new energizes me to look forward to the next stop on this bus ride that I call my career.
Go Pats!
Many of these items have important account and SS# on them. (If I was planning to go into the identity-theft business, I'd bribe someone who was working at a dump, to peruse the landfill for documents containing valuable identity info.)
So, when I saw that Staple was selling a shredder for $29.95 (after rebate) I decided to buy it. Since then I have been busier than an Arther Anderson Auditor at Enron, going through dusty shoe boxes of ancient and forgotten papers, shredding anything that had a SS# on it and dumping old bank records and receipts. In those old shoeboxes, I found many items that reminded me of events that had long ago been forgotten: Dr Bill for birth of first child in 1970 ($400); Hospital bill for 5 days maternity confinement ($350), Bill of sale for 1970 Dodge ($2,130), papers on the purchase of our first home - a 5 room ranch in Waltham ($24,000), stuff like that.
There were reams of old resumes, job descriptions, essays on the nature of work. Most of these I am finally relegating to the landfill. Among the papers was a list of all the jobs I had done from High School to about 5 years ago. The list started with my military experience (warrior, painter, cost accountant, disaster control specialist) and included part time jobs (Bus Boy, Ranch Hand at a dude ranch). Jobs that helped pay college expenses (courier driver, bus driver, painter, UPS package handler, clerk in a mountaineering store, mover, lawn maintenance). Then, "real" jobs (Headhunter, Registrar, Sales Administration, MIS Analyst, Marketing services manager, program manager). During the last recession in the early 90's, I did lots of different stuff: Resume writing, doing surveys for IDC, selling refrigerators and stoves, testing software interfaces, researching sales automation tools, freelance systems analysis, writing for Computerworld. Then, back in the mainstream at Bull Express - managing a direct marketing database system. I added to the list, my more recent engagements: the University (where I learned about ERP, data analysis tools,and started the Data Warehouse), finally to the staffing company (where I learned the value of managing relationships with business partners).
Ok, it's a pretty tedious list, but the point is that I learned something of lasting value from every one of those experiences and organizations.
The prospect of learning something new energizes me to look forward to the next stop on this bus ride that I call my career.
Go Pats!
1/30/2004
tgif
I had a phone message the other day from a headhunter. It said "I saw your resume on Bostonworks and I may have some jobs I'd like to talk to you about."
Well, this seems encouraging, I thought. So I called them back, an outfit called Complete Staffing with an office in Framingham. When I got through to the guy who called, he asked what kind of job I was looking for (I told him what it said on my resume - Systems Analyst, Project Leader). He wondered if I would send him a copy of my resume. It sounded like an odd request.
"Didn't you say you got the info off the job board?" I asked. He hemmed and hawed a bit about the amount of data he actually had. Finally I asked him what jobs he had that prompted his call. More hemming and hawing. I concluded that he actually had no jobs, and was simply trolling for candidates. I figured out that he was probably a rookie, just starting out. They try the new guys by fire, making them call from old lists trying to find a live one.
It reminded me of my first job after graduating college in 1968 . I was getting married and needed a job. But there were not many options for English majors at the time. So, I took a job with Shamrock Personnel as a recruiter. it was a 100% commission job. They told me guys were earning up to $14k per year. As a rookie, they gave you crap for leads and you had to be on the phone all the time. The days were sometimes 12 hours long. I lasted less than a month on that odious job. I never placed anyone. Made no money and learned a lot about how sleazy some people in the recruiting industry were. Luckily I soon got a job at my alma mater as an Assistant to the Registrar, making $7,800 more than I did as a rookie recruiter.
Remembering those unpleasant days, I felt compassion for the rookie who had called me with no jobs. Hell he was probably a former IT guy himself, whose job went to India. In desparation, he found himself dialing numbers, using an old list, trying to fool old farts like me that he had jobs for us.
So, what the heck, instead of blowing him off completely, I gave him the gift of my resume. Let's see what he can do with it.
Well, this seems encouraging, I thought. So I called them back, an outfit called Complete Staffing with an office in Framingham. When I got through to the guy who called, he asked what kind of job I was looking for (I told him what it said on my resume - Systems Analyst, Project Leader). He wondered if I would send him a copy of my resume. It sounded like an odd request.
"Didn't you say you got the info off the job board?" I asked. He hemmed and hawed a bit about the amount of data he actually had. Finally I asked him what jobs he had that prompted his call. More hemming and hawing. I concluded that he actually had no jobs, and was simply trolling for candidates. I figured out that he was probably a rookie, just starting out. They try the new guys by fire, making them call from old lists trying to find a live one.
It reminded me of my first job after graduating college in 1968 . I was getting married and needed a job. But there were not many options for English majors at the time. So, I took a job with Shamrock Personnel as a recruiter. it was a 100% commission job. They told me guys were earning up to $14k per year. As a rookie, they gave you crap for leads and you had to be on the phone all the time. The days were sometimes 12 hours long. I lasted less than a month on that odious job. I never placed anyone. Made no money and learned a lot about how sleazy some people in the recruiting industry were. Luckily I soon got a job at my alma mater as an Assistant to the Registrar, making $7,800 more than I did as a rookie recruiter.
Remembering those unpleasant days, I felt compassion for the rookie who had called me with no jobs. Hell he was probably a former IT guy himself, whose job went to India. In desparation, he found himself dialing numbers, using an old list, trying to fool old farts like me that he had jobs for us.
So, what the heck, instead of blowing him off completely, I gave him the gift of my resume. Let's see what he can do with it.
1/29/2004
Blair
I don't usually get too political on this blog, but I couldn't help noticing that on CSPAN coverage of the Brits parliment yesterday, Tony Blair was cleared of all wrongdoing in the attack on Iraq. The right Honorable Prime Minister stands up to debate his opponents on every issue, and displays a phenominal ability to think on his feet. None of the leading Presidential hopefuls (including the incumbent) can stand next to Tony Blair without seeming to be an idiot.
Is there any way we could get him to be our president?
Is there any way we could get him to be our president?
1/25/2004
The Hellhole has been offline for a few days to honor the passing of my mother-in-law, Ruth E. Loveman, last Sunday. She was 86 and she had a very good life. She was blessed with beauty and grace. She will be missed by many who knew and loved her.
I have two weeks left on my unemployment benefit. After February 7, I will officially enter the status of "desparate". This does not mean I will panic and take any shit job. It simply denotes that I will relax the tight perameters that have characterized my jop search to date.
Let's hope I don't end up bagging groceries at the supermarket.
I have two weeks left on my unemployment benefit. After February 7, I will officially enter the status of "desparate". This does not mean I will panic and take any shit job. It simply denotes that I will relax the tight perameters that have characterized my jop search to date.
Let's hope I don't end up bagging groceries at the supermarket.
1/15/2004
Reality is for the birds
I am embarrassed to admit that I got sucked into watching the new reality show called "The Apprentice," which has a bunch of young wannabees competing with each other to become a Donald Trump's flunky. I guess they started with 13 wannas and Trump ends each show firing one of them. I guess this is like the survivor series, where people start off working on teams, and then cut each other's throats when the going gets tough.
I hate this show, because iot shows what weasals normal, smart, competitive people will willing to be to get the top spot. None of them will tell Trump to shove-it, even though he treats them all like shit.
I would not last 15 minutes in such competition.
I hate this show, because iot shows what weasals normal, smart, competitive people will willing to be to get the top spot. None of them will tell Trump to shove-it, even though he treats them all like shit.
I would not last 15 minutes in such competition.
1/09/2004
Cold Enough for Ya?
The thermometer outside reads dead zero. It feels colder when you are looking for a job. The jobless-chill factor is like an icy, ill wind, leaving you with frosbitten hopes and numbed plans. The economic recovery seems to be progressing at glacial speed.
I had another flash of interest last week, lending hope for a warmer 2004. It was a 6 month contract job, doing a project for a successful high tech company. I was interested. The recruiting outfit asked my rate. I didn't want to be greedy especially in these competitive times - where there are many hyena fighting for the same kill - so I set my min rate at $50/hr (that's a lot cheaper than I would have expected to get in 2000 - but let's be realistic: things have changed.)
The recruiter got back to me. The max they could get from the client was $25/hr. Of course I know that the agency mark-up is 20-30%, so the real going rate for that job was more like $34/hr.
Well, I'm not that desparate. I told the recruiter to call me back in March. Then I will be desparate. I recall the last recession/layoff cycle in 1991. I ended up selling refrigeraters and microwave ovens at the now defunct Highland Superstores. Judy says I lost 20 lbs working that job. 12 hour days on your feet wil do that. Maybe I should publish my weight loss secret: "The Retail Sales Diet - How to keep from eating by working 50 hours a week at minimum wage plus lousy commissions, dealing with the worst people on the planet" The only good thing about selling refrigerators is, you don't have to worry about shoplifters.
But the news was not all bad. I kept looking for my destiny and just after the new year in 1992, I got a good job and worked steadily through several other economic ripples right up until last May. (And I found those lost twenty pounds.) It could happen again.
Cripes, it's cold out there!
I had another flash of interest last week, lending hope for a warmer 2004. It was a 6 month contract job, doing a project for a successful high tech company. I was interested. The recruiting outfit asked my rate. I didn't want to be greedy especially in these competitive times - where there are many hyena fighting for the same kill - so I set my min rate at $50/hr (that's a lot cheaper than I would have expected to get in 2000 - but let's be realistic: things have changed.)
The recruiter got back to me. The max they could get from the client was $25/hr. Of course I know that the agency mark-up is 20-30%, so the real going rate for that job was more like $34/hr.
Well, I'm not that desparate. I told the recruiter to call me back in March. Then I will be desparate. I recall the last recession/layoff cycle in 1991. I ended up selling refrigeraters and microwave ovens at the now defunct Highland Superstores. Judy says I lost 20 lbs working that job. 12 hour days on your feet wil do that. Maybe I should publish my weight loss secret: "The Retail Sales Diet - How to keep from eating by working 50 hours a week at minimum wage plus lousy commissions, dealing with the worst people on the planet" The only good thing about selling refrigerators is, you don't have to worry about shoplifters.
But the news was not all bad. I kept looking for my destiny and just after the new year in 1992, I got a good job and worked steadily through several other economic ripples right up until last May. (And I found those lost twenty pounds.) It could happen again.
Cripes, it's cold out there!
1/04/2004
Weekly Rituals
I wanted to complain about how slow the DET website was this morning. Every Sunday morning, I log-in and answer the questions properly. Yes, I looked for work. Yes, I was available for work. No, I did not work. It takes about 10 minutes, and they send you a check for $507 on Monday. The check usually arrives on Tuesday or Wednesday.
So, I can't really get too worked-up just because the pixels aren't movong fast enough. This new system is a far cry from the last time I was on unemployment, in 1991. In those days, you had to schlep down to the office every two weeks to get your measly check in person. Everything about unemployment seemed to be designed to make you stand in lines with all those other losers. I guess the philosophy was to shame anyone with a shred of dignity to make them go out and get a job - any job.
It worked on me. After several months of unsuccessful job hunting, I finally took a job at a Cambridge software company. It was a big pay cut. But I was happy to be working again, but the feeling was short-lived. Within six months my new company Index Technologies was merged/bought out and, without warning, the new company - Intersolv laid me and two thirds of the others off. Someone I did not know called me into a meeting whereupon I was informed that I would get two months severance, plus outplacement counseling.
The Bozos in charge had everything figured out, except that they weren't aware of the The Workers Adjustment and Retraining Notification act of 1988. (Thank you Ted Kennedy.) This piece of legislation - AKA the "plant closing law" - says that employers who terminate more than one third of the workers at a given location are compelled to give said workers 60 days notice or compensation in lieu of notice on top of earned severance benefit. Thus, I ended up with four months severance after working only six months at the company! (I was also eligible for Unemployment again).
Luckily, I did not have to suffer the indignity of standing in line again. Out of the blue, I got a 6-week contract job as a systems analyst at a corporate division of a global High Tech firm that needed to integrate the customer databases of two smaller companies that had recently been acquired. That gig lasted fifteen months.
With 1 week left on my PO I found an employee situation at another big High Tech company. That job lasted 5 years. Luck happens when you keep your eyes open.
So, I can't really get too worked-up just because the pixels aren't movong fast enough. This new system is a far cry from the last time I was on unemployment, in 1991. In those days, you had to schlep down to the office every two weeks to get your measly check in person. Everything about unemployment seemed to be designed to make you stand in lines with all those other losers. I guess the philosophy was to shame anyone with a shred of dignity to make them go out and get a job - any job.
It worked on me. After several months of unsuccessful job hunting, I finally took a job at a Cambridge software company. It was a big pay cut. But I was happy to be working again, but the feeling was short-lived. Within six months my new company Index Technologies was merged/bought out and, without warning, the new company - Intersolv laid me and two thirds of the others off. Someone I did not know called me into a meeting whereupon I was informed that I would get two months severance, plus outplacement counseling.
The Bozos in charge had everything figured out, except that they weren't aware of the The Workers Adjustment and Retraining Notification act of 1988. (Thank you Ted Kennedy.) This piece of legislation - AKA the "plant closing law" - says that employers who terminate more than one third of the workers at a given location are compelled to give said workers 60 days notice or compensation in lieu of notice on top of earned severance benefit. Thus, I ended up with four months severance after working only six months at the company! (I was also eligible for Unemployment again).
Luckily, I did not have to suffer the indignity of standing in line again. Out of the blue, I got a 6-week contract job as a systems analyst at a corporate division of a global High Tech firm that needed to integrate the customer databases of two smaller companies that had recently been acquired. That gig lasted fifteen months.
With 1 week left on my PO I found an employee situation at another big High Tech company. That job lasted 5 years. Luck happens when you keep your eyes open.
12/29/2003
Winter Heat Wave
It's 55 degrees here in the Northeast today - a week after the official start of winter. If global warming continues at this pace, we will not need to plan a retirement in the South, since scientists say we will have the same climate in Boston that is currently enjoyed in Atlanta within a few more years.
It would really annoy me if we had taken a post Christmas vacation to escape the winter blues - and then to read in the morning paper that my $200 a day resort hotel room was only a few degrees warmer than my humble New England abode. Half the fun of a winter vacation is hoping that your friends and neighbors back home are envious that you are enjoying unfettered sunshine while they are freezing their collective butts off back home. I received an e-mail from a friend who was complaining about being bored after only 2 days on a 4 day cruise ship near the Florida keys. She says, "I can't see the difference between a cruise ship and being locked up in the New York Hilton for 4 days sitting at the same table, with the same people at the same time for dinner every night." Poor thing. Her real problem is that she is not food oriented. How can you justify a cruise ship if you aren't interested in eating five times a day! No sympathy from me. Cave-in and hit the midnight buffet!
Anyhow, after several weeks of snow/ice blocked sidewalks, one can now venture forth for an invigorating walk. I need the exercise, lord knows. The continued positive economic news probably means that there will be a lot of opportunities opening up as 2004 rolls out. I have a new suit, I got new socks for Christmas, I'm positive and ... hungry. What's for lunch?
It would really annoy me if we had taken a post Christmas vacation to escape the winter blues - and then to read in the morning paper that my $200 a day resort hotel room was only a few degrees warmer than my humble New England abode. Half the fun of a winter vacation is hoping that your friends and neighbors back home are envious that you are enjoying unfettered sunshine while they are freezing their collective butts off back home. I received an e-mail from a friend who was complaining about being bored after only 2 days on a 4 day cruise ship near the Florida keys. She says, "I can't see the difference between a cruise ship and being locked up in the New York Hilton for 4 days sitting at the same table, with the same people at the same time for dinner every night." Poor thing. Her real problem is that she is not food oriented. How can you justify a cruise ship if you aren't interested in eating five times a day! No sympathy from me. Cave-in and hit the midnight buffet!
Anyhow, after several weeks of snow/ice blocked sidewalks, one can now venture forth for an invigorating walk. I need the exercise, lord knows. The continued positive economic news probably means that there will be a lot of opportunities opening up as 2004 rolls out. I have a new suit, I got new socks for Christmas, I'm positive and ... hungry. What's for lunch?
12/25/2003
12/16/2003
Christmas Time is Nigh
This saturday is "guys shopping day". Another traditional annual event where I and 3 of my closest buddies get together early to go shopping for our wives and loved ones. I usually drive, since I am the only one with a car big enough to hold us that is not despoiled by dog hairs on the seats. Four of us (George, Bill, the other Dennis and Me) have been doing this every saturday-before-Christmas for about ten years. We get to the Chestnut Hill Mall (or sometimes the Atrium) before the parking lot becomes too crowded. Then we spend 2 hours trolling the mall with our gift lists.
None of us are typical shoppers - we are dressed like middleaged straight guys - Dockers, Sweatshirt, Baseball Cap, work boots - and so our questions to the perfume counter clerks ("Got anything that doesn't smell like a fart?" or to the sales person at Victoria Secrets "What have you got in a triple X Teddie?") are often met with fear and distrust.
Then, it's over to Newton at our favorite Irish pub for Bloody Mary's. They open at 11 and we are usually their first customers. Sometimes, after a quaff or two we will then stroll across the street to check out the Antique Mall at Echo Bridge. (This is mainly George's influence, he likes to surprise his wife with some antique treasure such as used irish silver fish forks or jewelry that was old when grandma was a girl. I never buy anything, but I am amused and entertained by the sheer variety of old china, crystal and other junk that some people will pay real money to possess. I am firmly a here-and-now person, and I don't think old hunks of junk have any monetary value. I like stainless steel and teflon and battery powered clocks and modern refrigeration. )
Anyhow, we spend an hour or so, looking at the discarded legacy of the ancient world. Then we trundle back to the Pub for beer and burgers. Actually, I am the only one who still drinks more than one beer nowadays - I think the others are on medications that do not agree with alcohol. (George says he is on the Atkins Diet and recently eschews the ambient sugar in alcoholic drinks. He has lost weight. In fact, with his bushy moustache, he looks a lot like a Saddam Hussein.)
After lunch we each go home with our bags of presents, which we hide in the closet until xmas (we get them wrapped at the Mall), and nap on the couch while pretending to watch the NFL game. Somebody noted that since none of us have jobs this year, we don't really need to do it on a saturday. But traditions are traditions, dammit.
None of us are typical shoppers - we are dressed like middleaged straight guys - Dockers, Sweatshirt, Baseball Cap, work boots - and so our questions to the perfume counter clerks ("Got anything that doesn't smell like a fart?" or to the sales person at Victoria Secrets "What have you got in a triple X Teddie?") are often met with fear and distrust.
Then, it's over to Newton at our favorite Irish pub for Bloody Mary's. They open at 11 and we are usually their first customers. Sometimes, after a quaff or two we will then stroll across the street to check out the Antique Mall at Echo Bridge. (This is mainly George's influence, he likes to surprise his wife with some antique treasure such as used irish silver fish forks or jewelry that was old when grandma was a girl. I never buy anything, but I am amused and entertained by the sheer variety of old china, crystal and other junk that some people will pay real money to possess. I am firmly a here-and-now person, and I don't think old hunks of junk have any monetary value. I like stainless steel and teflon and battery powered clocks and modern refrigeration. )
Anyhow, we spend an hour or so, looking at the discarded legacy of the ancient world. Then we trundle back to the Pub for beer and burgers. Actually, I am the only one who still drinks more than one beer nowadays - I think the others are on medications that do not agree with alcohol. (George says he is on the Atkins Diet and recently eschews the ambient sugar in alcoholic drinks. He has lost weight. In fact, with his bushy moustache, he looks a lot like a Saddam Hussein.)
After lunch we each go home with our bags of presents, which we hide in the closet until xmas (we get them wrapped at the Mall), and nap on the couch while pretending to watch the NFL game. Somebody noted that since none of us have jobs this year, we don't really need to do it on a saturday. But traditions are traditions, dammit.
12/03/2003
A Cold Day in the Hellhole
Man it is freezing here in the shadows of commerce. I'm thankful that technology has actually improved the process of getting unemployment benefits. It would be terrible to be standing out there in breadlines on frigid days like these.
The life of an unemployed job-seeker during a jobless economic recovery is not so bad, but sometimes it gets monotonous. (I am certainly undisturbed by employers answering my inquiries.) Some weeks, I only shave every other day. When I go out, to do chores, such as shopping for groceries, my typical uniform consists of an old gray baseball cap, sweatshirt, kahki dockers and tennis shoes. Everything is clean but a bit wrinkled, including me.
I have noticed that as I have gotten older, female strangers do not look at me the same way they used to. Age has mellowed me both in appearance and attitude. Young girls ignore me like I didn't exist; women in their twenties regard me warily, like I am probably either homeless or a pervert (maybe both); healthy looking thirtysomethings with kids in tow usually smile at me, (apparently thinking I look a lot like grandpa); middle-aged divorcees dressed in work-out togs look at the contents of my cart in the supermarket line, looking for signs of bachelorhood - weighing my paunch against their lonliness. I pretend they do not exist. I am untempted by the scent of desparation.
Today is a typical shopping day. The elderly cashier, seeing that I have a credit card that doesn't get rejected, and that my order does not contain any incontinence items, begins to flirt shamelessly ("You do not look like the plastic type to me. Let us bag your groceries in high quality recyclable paper.") She smiles sweetly at me, and then barks something in Portuguese to the bag boy.
I look at him. He is my age. He concentrates on getting the items in the bags. He looks a lot like a guy I once worked with. He was a COBOL programmer. Hoping for a sign of recognition, I look him in the eye as he hands me the bags, but he just he smiles vapidly. "Have a nice day," he says mechanically. I sit in the van for a full 3 minutes shivering, and not from the cold.
The life of an unemployed job-seeker during a jobless economic recovery is not so bad, but sometimes it gets monotonous. (I am certainly undisturbed by employers answering my inquiries.) Some weeks, I only shave every other day. When I go out, to do chores, such as shopping for groceries, my typical uniform consists of an old gray baseball cap, sweatshirt, kahki dockers and tennis shoes. Everything is clean but a bit wrinkled, including me.
I have noticed that as I have gotten older, female strangers do not look at me the same way they used to. Age has mellowed me both in appearance and attitude. Young girls ignore me like I didn't exist; women in their twenties regard me warily, like I am probably either homeless or a pervert (maybe both); healthy looking thirtysomethings with kids in tow usually smile at me, (apparently thinking I look a lot like grandpa); middle-aged divorcees dressed in work-out togs look at the contents of my cart in the supermarket line, looking for signs of bachelorhood - weighing my paunch against their lonliness. I pretend they do not exist. I am untempted by the scent of desparation.
Today is a typical shopping day. The elderly cashier, seeing that I have a credit card that doesn't get rejected, and that my order does not contain any incontinence items, begins to flirt shamelessly ("You do not look like the plastic type to me. Let us bag your groceries in high quality recyclable paper.") She smiles sweetly at me, and then barks something in Portuguese to the bag boy.
I look at him. He is my age. He concentrates on getting the items in the bags. He looks a lot like a guy I once worked with. He was a COBOL programmer. Hoping for a sign of recognition, I look him in the eye as he hands me the bags, but he just he smiles vapidly. "Have a nice day," he says mechanically. I sit in the van for a full 3 minutes shivering, and not from the cold.
11/28/2003
Too Sick To Work
If I had a job, I'd have called in sick today. Since there was no one else to call, I gathered the cats and announced that I would not be going to the office today, due to my nasty flu symptoms. They took the information with their usual nonchalance.
After a cup of coffee while reading the morning paper, I went back to bed. The three Siamese were curled up in a pile, right in the middle of the bed. They appeared truly annoyed when I tried to get some of the covers for myself. I am not looking for sympathy. I know that everyone else is either sick or just getting over something.
I just thought maybe the cats could show a little compassion.
After a cup of coffee while reading the morning paper, I went back to bed. The three Siamese were curled up in a pile, right in the middle of the bed. They appeared truly annoyed when I tried to get some of the covers for myself. I am not looking for sympathy. I know that everyone else is either sick or just getting over something.
I just thought maybe the cats could show a little compassion.
11/26/2003
Reasons To Be Thankful
There are some advantages to being unemployed. Yesterday, I went with two of my similarly unoccupied pals to the movies. It was a one oclock showing of Master and Commander. This was a real entertaining swashbuckler with great visual effects and rip-roaring action only a guy would like. From all historical accounts it depicted the realism of life on board a British Navy ship in 1805.
I am profoundly thankful to have been born in modern times - with indoor plumbing, refrigeration, electricity, computers, a distribution system that can deliver single malt scotch to a store nearby.
More than this, I am gratified to realize how damned lucky I have been in this life.
I was an aimless youth who was such a poor student in high school that no decent college would admit me, so I enlisted in the air force. The military made me a grow up, but did not overcome my insubordinate nature. Thanks to my dad's determination, I did go to college and graduated with a degree in Liberal Arts. I was an English major (although on my resume I claim it was English-Journalism because it sounds more practical.)
In creative writing class I met Judy, who (like me) fell in love with my prose. I was immediately captivated by her beauty and charm, and this was the best thing that happened in my life. We dated, evetually married, had two great and beautiful daughters who have grown into wonderful productive adults and have stayed in our lives. After thirty five years we are still together, healthy and in love.
Sure, I have had some crappy jobs, and may again in the future. But I hope I can continue to appreciate the luck that has seen me this far. And I hope that I win the megabucks lottery tonight.
I am profoundly thankful to have been born in modern times - with indoor plumbing, refrigeration, electricity, computers, a distribution system that can deliver single malt scotch to a store nearby.
More than this, I am gratified to realize how damned lucky I have been in this life.
I was an aimless youth who was such a poor student in high school that no decent college would admit me, so I enlisted in the air force. The military made me a grow up, but did not overcome my insubordinate nature. Thanks to my dad's determination, I did go to college and graduated with a degree in Liberal Arts. I was an English major (although on my resume I claim it was English-Journalism because it sounds more practical.)
In creative writing class I met Judy, who (like me) fell in love with my prose. I was immediately captivated by her beauty and charm, and this was the best thing that happened in my life. We dated, evetually married, had two great and beautiful daughters who have grown into wonderful productive adults and have stayed in our lives. After thirty five years we are still together, healthy and in love.
Sure, I have had some crappy jobs, and may again in the future. But I hope I can continue to appreciate the luck that has seen me this far. And I hope that I win the megabucks lottery tonight.
11/21/2003
Yes, We can Hear You, now shut that (bleep)ing thing off!
Just returned from a brief visit to the Left coast to check on the Grandkids. The kids are all right.
Ah, California: state of Earthquakes, Fires, Neverland, Laci and Governor Arnold. Coming back to the state where anyone can legally marry anything if they can pass the blood test.
I am cranky as hell. It is not merely jet lag; it's the world gone nuts.
prosecutors want to put that vicious criminal - Martha Stewart - in jail; and the shrinks want to let John Hinkley out to walk around Washington DC free as a crow.
Terrorists and protesters bombing civilians in Turkey and disrupting traffic in Miami and UK. Important events are taking place in the world, yet Michael Jackson dominates the news. Why? I don't care about the antics of freaks. Do you?
Air Travel still sucks. I can report is American Airlines does have more room in coach between rows than United. But you are still crammed-in three across, and there is not enough room for a well-fed man to sit comfortably. American is much less concerned than United with on-time schedules, and it shows. On the way to California, we arrived at a stopover in Chicago on time, but then sat on the tarmac for 40 minutes waiting for a gate to open up. Many people who were connecting missed their flights. The attendant tried to console an upset traveller. "This happens a lot." she said.
I am still irritated that class discrimination is still OK on airlines, and even extends to the security checks. I was selected for personal inspection when my shoes set off the metal detector. The beefy security guard frowned at me like I should know better. "Rockports always set it off," she said. "You should wear sneakers next time."
Predictably, we were treated to the inane wireless conversations of inconsiderate blabbers everywhere we went. At the hotel, during breakfast. In the cabin of the planes. On Fisherman's wharf. Outside the museum. Mercifully, they make people curtail wireless phone calls when the plane is in motion. The new showoff thing is Walkie Talkie feature which involves a lot of beeping and shouting into the receiver. If that isn't enough, now you can hear the moron on the other end as well.
Peter Drucker says, "There is nothing as useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." I feel this applies to the Walkie Talkie feature on cell phones. Only a few people in specific jobs (eg, construction, EMT's) should have them. Some technology should be withheld from the masses. You wouldn't give a lazer-guided missile launchers to Ubangi tribesmen. Would you?
I'm sure that some people need cell phones. But, their ubiquitousness has introduced a level of interruption and annoyance into our society that I predict a rash of phone-rage incidents in the near future. Judy says it is just my sensory integration disorder acting up. According to her, most people are not disturbed by the inanities of others, and are not possessed by a demonic urge to strangle them.
Ah, California: state of Earthquakes, Fires, Neverland, Laci and Governor Arnold. Coming back to the state where anyone can legally marry anything if they can pass the blood test.
I am cranky as hell. It is not merely jet lag; it's the world gone nuts.
prosecutors want to put that vicious criminal - Martha Stewart - in jail; and the shrinks want to let John Hinkley out to walk around Washington DC free as a crow.
Terrorists and protesters bombing civilians in Turkey and disrupting traffic in Miami and UK. Important events are taking place in the world, yet Michael Jackson dominates the news. Why? I don't care about the antics of freaks. Do you?
Air Travel still sucks. I can report is American Airlines does have more room in coach between rows than United. But you are still crammed-in three across, and there is not enough room for a well-fed man to sit comfortably. American is much less concerned than United with on-time schedules, and it shows. On the way to California, we arrived at a stopover in Chicago on time, but then sat on the tarmac for 40 minutes waiting for a gate to open up. Many people who were connecting missed their flights. The attendant tried to console an upset traveller. "This happens a lot." she said.
I am still irritated that class discrimination is still OK on airlines, and even extends to the security checks. I was selected for personal inspection when my shoes set off the metal detector. The beefy security guard frowned at me like I should know better. "Rockports always set it off," she said. "You should wear sneakers next time."
Predictably, we were treated to the inane wireless conversations of inconsiderate blabbers everywhere we went. At the hotel, during breakfast. In the cabin of the planes. On Fisherman's wharf. Outside the museum. Mercifully, they make people curtail wireless phone calls when the plane is in motion. The new showoff thing is Walkie Talkie feature which involves a lot of beeping and shouting into the receiver. If that isn't enough, now you can hear the moron on the other end as well.
Peter Drucker says, "There is nothing as useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." I feel this applies to the Walkie Talkie feature on cell phones. Only a few people in specific jobs (eg, construction, EMT's) should have them. Some technology should be withheld from the masses. You wouldn't give a lazer-guided missile launchers to Ubangi tribesmen. Would you?
I'm sure that some people need cell phones. But, their ubiquitousness has introduced a level of interruption and annoyance into our society that I predict a rash of phone-rage incidents in the near future. Judy says it is just my sensory integration disorder acting up. According to her, most people are not disturbed by the inanities of others, and are not possessed by a demonic urge to strangle them.
11/14/2003
Someone called back
Begin disturbing image warning=>> I hope this image is not too unsettling to my fans, but I have vowed to tell the whole truth. Young, or easily offended readers should skip to the next paragraph The other day, I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard the phone in the hallway ring. I made it before the fourth ring, and answered in my best business-like voice. It was the callback I had been hoping for earlier that day. (Actually, I had only half-expected the return call. Not returning calls is an epidemic in this junk-call-spam-drenched day-and-age.) Anyhow, there I was standing in front of the hall mirror, naked and dripping on the floor, pretending that I was dry, fully-clothed and an ideal candidate for the job. <<= End of disturbing image warning
It was the recruiter for a local company, responding to a resume I had sent more than a month ago. He had sent me an e-mail, asking me to call if I was still interested in the job. I did call, but got his voice-mail. Typical of recruiters, six hours later he was returning my call. He told me that the company needed a senior business analyst to work with the Product Manager to market and recommend improvements to a flagship software product. I had most of the quals for the job, and I was intrigued by the prospect of getting back into the marketing department, so I managed to BS the recruiter enough to convince him to "present" me to the hiring manager.
He said that they had been having a hard time finding the right person. (Probably because the job description would have been divided among three people in the full-employment days of 1999-2000). These days everyone is expected to be a superhero at apprentice wages. Hey don't get me started, I'm being positive! Anyway, it was a call back.
It was also a milestone in my journey. It is the first opportunity in months that seems worth pursuing. The location is a mere ten minute commute. The compensation is lower than my last job, but near the ballpark. And it's not IT.
Being Not-IT is a good thing. I have always enjoyed my past roles as a systems analyst in the marketing department.
Marketing management is a lot less cost-conscious than those stingy CIO's who think that staying within budget is more important than delivering speed to network users. By contrast, marketing execs are usually focused on sales activity, and I never met one who worried much about the "bottom line".
Stay tuned. We are still a long way from the sure-thing stage. But I was encouraged that someone called back. To me that is a 100% increase in activity.
It was the recruiter for a local company, responding to a resume I had sent more than a month ago. He had sent me an e-mail, asking me to call if I was still interested in the job. I did call, but got his voice-mail. Typical of recruiters, six hours later he was returning my call. He told me that the company needed a senior business analyst to work with the Product Manager to market and recommend improvements to a flagship software product. I had most of the quals for the job, and I was intrigued by the prospect of getting back into the marketing department, so I managed to BS the recruiter enough to convince him to "present" me to the hiring manager.
He said that they had been having a hard time finding the right person. (Probably because the job description would have been divided among three people in the full-employment days of 1999-2000). These days everyone is expected to be a superhero at apprentice wages. Hey don't get me started, I'm being positive! Anyway, it was a call back.
It was also a milestone in my journey. It is the first opportunity in months that seems worth pursuing. The location is a mere ten minute commute. The compensation is lower than my last job, but near the ballpark. And it's not IT.
Being Not-IT is a good thing. I have always enjoyed my past roles as a systems analyst in the marketing department.
Marketing management is a lot less cost-conscious than those stingy CIO's who think that staying within budget is more important than delivering speed to network users. By contrast, marketing execs are usually focused on sales activity, and I never met one who worried much about the "bottom line".
Stay tuned. We are still a long way from the sure-thing stage. But I was encouraged that someone called back. To me that is a 100% increase in activity.
11/07/2003
Can you Hear me Now?
We decided to give Herbs and Spices - the new Asian restaurant in Lower Falls - another chance. It was a Wednesday night and not crowded, which perhaps resulted in a fairly attentive waiter. I still could not understand anything he said, due to a difference in our native spoken languages, so if he had greeted us with the "Hi I'm Lee Hong, I'll be your server tonight." we were blissfully spared the comprehension of same. Despite my fears, our order was correctly taken and served in due time.
The food was pretty good. We shared a variety of appetizer and main dishes. We had a nice time.
As we were waiting for the check, a thirty-ish couple was seated in the next booth. Totally ignoring his attractive dining companion, the boorish fellow was yakking loudly on his cell phone. It was a pathetic call, with him apologizing to someone who outranked him for not returning their call. His voice was laden with fear and lying. I almost felt sorry for him, but as is our habit, we began to chastise him so he could hear us.
His companion was terribly embarrassed, to have her date being laughed at by the next booth while he pathetically groped for credibility over the airwaves to some bigshot who clearly knew he was lying.
It was son-in-law David who came up with the solution to such ear pollution. "Why don't these places have a Cell Phone Booth?"
What a genius idea! All public places should have at least one. A simple rectangular booth with nothing in it but soundproof walls and a shelf. Wireless talkers could go and stand in the booth and not bother the rest of us. I can see them at the Bus Stop, Train Station, Theater Lobby, Supermarket - anywhere where people gather. Instead of assaulting the rest of us with your inane conversations, you can go to the Wireless Area stand in your booth and blather to your heart's content.
I smell a business opportunity! Who wants in on the groundfloor?
The food was pretty good. We shared a variety of appetizer and main dishes. We had a nice time.
As we were waiting for the check, a thirty-ish couple was seated in the next booth. Totally ignoring his attractive dining companion, the boorish fellow was yakking loudly on his cell phone. It was a pathetic call, with him apologizing to someone who outranked him for not returning their call. His voice was laden with fear and lying. I almost felt sorry for him, but as is our habit, we began to chastise him so he could hear us.
His companion was terribly embarrassed, to have her date being laughed at by the next booth while he pathetically groped for credibility over the airwaves to some bigshot who clearly knew he was lying.
It was son-in-law David who came up with the solution to such ear pollution. "Why don't these places have a Cell Phone Booth?"
What a genius idea! All public places should have at least one. A simple rectangular booth with nothing in it but soundproof walls and a shelf. Wireless talkers could go and stand in the booth and not bother the rest of us. I can see them at the Bus Stop, Train Station, Theater Lobby, Supermarket - anywhere where people gather. Instead of assaulting the rest of us with your inane conversations, you can go to the Wireless Area stand in your booth and blather to your heart's content.
I smell a business opportunity! Who wants in on the groundfloor?
11/05/2003
Momma Told Me
As a child growing up in hardscrabble Watertown, Ma, my sainted mother would often repeat her wise observation "If it looks too good to be true...it probably is." Such cynicism is one of the most useful tools in the Parental Toolbox. This wisdom has served me well. As an adult I grew to be a skeptic, a cynic and a hopeful pessimist. (The opposite of a hopeless optimist).
I don't expect everything to fail, but I am hardly ever surprised when it does. My career value proposition has been established on the fundamental premise that in a business enterprise, Crap Happens, but if you have me on your payroll there will be less crap and it won't be as messy.
Because I expect problems, I am a pretty good planner. Because I know people are unwilling or unable to communicate with each other, I over-communicate. I specify requirements, establish test plans, talk with people. Early on, I understood the different languages of business. Engineers don't like to talk to Marketing Managers. Finance people abhor Sales Reps. Programmers cannot stand the vagaries of Users. Big Shot executives don't understand ground level workers. No one can understand the cafeteria staff (but, come to think of it, that is actually because they speak Portuguese. Another topic for another rant, perhaps?). Anyway, the only thing I really do is coordinate stuff between people who don't communicate with each other.
But, despite my chronic cynicism and pessimism, I am confident that the economy will recover. It always does. And there will soon be a recognition that my niche skills will become valuable again. Like those raggedy 401k accounts that have been beaten to a pulp for the past three years, improvement is palpable.
So, to be ahead of the curve, I spent a few hours this morning, searching for opportunity. Perhaps, one might even say, searching for my destiny.... Well, the trip back to earth was short and ended with a thud. Nada, zilch, zero, ciphers. I almost clicked on a banner ad offering retraining as a cafeteria worker (Learn Portuguese in six days!)
Then, I saw something that looked interesting: Opinionsonline.com was offering hourly rates from $15 to $110 to simply take a brief survey or participate in a focus group. Wow. This seems like easy money. I could use a few extra bucks. I got some spare time. I got a computer. Lord knows, I got opinions up the wazou!
So I check it out. Hmmn. One small detail. This company is not exactly the survey company that hires you. They put the "applicant" into a database of people who might be picked to participate in such surveys and focus groups. The small detail is, they charge you $14.95 to get into the database. Aw crap! They were masquerading as a job listing and they are actually marketing their freaking database. I find this type of "stealth marketing" to be unethical and deceptive. More deceptively evil than ordinary marketing. It justifies all my cynicism and pessimism. And skepticism. Focus on this, you stealth marketers! (Raises middle finger in angry salute)
That's when momma's sage words echoed. And so I shut off the computer. And then I got out my roller and ladder. After lunch, I will spend a productive afternoon painting the ceiling in the TV room. Then, I'll tune-in to Oprah for my daily emotional fix.
I don't expect everything to fail, but I am hardly ever surprised when it does. My career value proposition has been established on the fundamental premise that in a business enterprise, Crap Happens, but if you have me on your payroll there will be less crap and it won't be as messy.
Because I expect problems, I am a pretty good planner. Because I know people are unwilling or unable to communicate with each other, I over-communicate. I specify requirements, establish test plans, talk with people. Early on, I understood the different languages of business. Engineers don't like to talk to Marketing Managers. Finance people abhor Sales Reps. Programmers cannot stand the vagaries of Users. Big Shot executives don't understand ground level workers. No one can understand the cafeteria staff (but, come to think of it, that is actually because they speak Portuguese. Another topic for another rant, perhaps?). Anyway, the only thing I really do is coordinate stuff between people who don't communicate with each other.
But, despite my chronic cynicism and pessimism, I am confident that the economy will recover. It always does. And there will soon be a recognition that my niche skills will become valuable again. Like those raggedy 401k accounts that have been beaten to a pulp for the past three years, improvement is palpable.
So, to be ahead of the curve, I spent a few hours this morning, searching for opportunity. Perhaps, one might even say, searching for my destiny.... Well, the trip back to earth was short and ended with a thud. Nada, zilch, zero, ciphers. I almost clicked on a banner ad offering retraining as a cafeteria worker (Learn Portuguese in six days!)
Then, I saw something that looked interesting: Opinionsonline.com was offering hourly rates from $15 to $110 to simply take a brief survey or participate in a focus group. Wow. This seems like easy money. I could use a few extra bucks. I got some spare time. I got a computer. Lord knows, I got opinions up the wazou!
So I check it out. Hmmn. One small detail. This company is not exactly the survey company that hires you. They put the "applicant" into a database of people who might be picked to participate in such surveys and focus groups. The small detail is, they charge you $14.95 to get into the database. Aw crap! They were masquerading as a job listing and they are actually marketing their freaking database. I find this type of "stealth marketing" to be unethical and deceptive. More deceptively evil than ordinary marketing. It justifies all my cynicism and pessimism. And skepticism. Focus on this, you stealth marketers! (Raises middle finger in angry salute)
That's when momma's sage words echoed. And so I shut off the computer. And then I got out my roller and ladder. After lunch, I will spend a productive afternoon painting the ceiling in the TV room. Then, I'll tune-in to Oprah for my daily emotional fix.
10/31/2003
Told You So
Yesterday, the Government announced that the economy is growing again. In fact the rate of growth was so dramatic (over 7%) that today's conservative pundits are declaring the winner of the 2004 Presidential Election to be George Bush. The Democratic candidates have been praying for a continued slump to fuel the popular desire for a change of leadership. Poor shmucks.
What it means to me is this: I need to get a new suit. Before you know it, the phone will start to ring with job offers and business opportunities. I want to be ready.
Judy has been a perfect saint through the summer, and even bought me some beer last week. She is a true prize, and I am not just saying this because she has demanded that I say something nice about her. I am saying it because it's true.
I think I can wait until next week to get the suit. It's 60 degrees out, and someone should be sitting in the back yard admiring the foliage, accepting the Gift of this day.
What it means to me is this: I need to get a new suit. Before you know it, the phone will start to ring with job offers and business opportunities. I want to be ready.
Judy has been a perfect saint through the summer, and even bought me some beer last week. She is a true prize, and I am not just saying this because she has demanded that I say something nice about her. I am saying it because it's true.
I think I can wait until next week to get the suit. It's 60 degrees out, and someone should be sitting in the back yard admiring the foliage, accepting the Gift of this day.
10/29/2003
Harmful Mistakes
I read a report in the Globe today that cited the alarming increase in harmful mistakes in hospitals. They define these mistakes as routine problems like overdosing patients or surgical mishaps that actually injure or kill a patient. The most recent numbers in Massachusetts are 757 incidents this year compared to 574 incidents in 2000.
A hospital spokesperson attempted to clarify the meaning of the numbers. "It isn't really an increase in incidents," explained the spokesperson, "it really indicitive of improved reporting."
Whew! That's a relief.
Looking at the top ten employers on the Boston area with the most job openings, it is perhaps relevent that 8 of the ten are area hospitals and medical facilities. It is clear that anyone who gets sick around here should stay out of the hospitals if at all possible.
I would consider re-training for a job in the medical profession, except for the fact that I despise sick people, abhor bodily fluids, and the hours suck.
A hospital spokesperson attempted to clarify the meaning of the numbers. "It isn't really an increase in incidents," explained the spokesperson, "it really indicitive of improved reporting."
Whew! That's a relief.
Looking at the top ten employers on the Boston area with the most job openings, it is perhaps relevent that 8 of the ten are area hospitals and medical facilities. It is clear that anyone who gets sick around here should stay out of the hospitals if at all possible.
I would consider re-training for a job in the medical profession, except for the fact that I despise sick people, abhor bodily fluids, and the hours suck.
10/27/2003
Nasty Weather Non-Fan
It's cold and raw here in the Western Suburbs of Boston.
I am sitting here today wishing I was a Marlins fan. The Boston team was knocked out of the running by the New York team in the playoffs. I admit that at first, it bothered my that "my" team lost. Then, I realized that there was no reason to allow it to affect my day.
Why should I give a sweet shit what the Boston Red Sox do? They really have nothing to do with me. And hardly anything to do with Boston, other than the fact that members of the team and some owners are temporary residents of Our Fair City. Grady Little, the (almost former) Manager hails from the cotton fields of Alabama or is it North Carolina? Who cares? Most of the player names are unfamiliar to me. Few of them were actually raised in New England, much less Boston. Next year many of them will be someplace else.
The Boston Red Sox is just another entertainment Company. The players are just employees. There is no loyalty anywhere in this business. Popular players are traded off like coeds at a frat party. Management and coaches are fired, retired or replaced at the drop of a hat. Whining overpaid prima donnas even go on strike every few years, because of the terrible oppression by league managers.
Fans are just poor saps who have more cash than good sense, who layout big bucks to watch these professionals working. And buy their "gear." Would anyone buy a picture of me looking words up in my Thesaurus?
And, What the heck does the success or failure of a company have to do with my happiness or well being? If the new Walt Disney movie flops, do I lose sleep or beat my breast in anguish? Well, I suppose if I owned stock in the company, I could care. But I don't and I don't.
All this crap about the bambino's curse is laughable. Grady Little didn't lose the game by leaving Pedro in too long in the eight inning. New York won the game in the eleventh inning. The freaking players lost the game! Fire them and bring in some players who can win in the clutch!
Anyhow, I just saw a news clip of the World Series Champion Marlins on TV. They were returning to Ft Lauderdale, coming home to their adoring fans, dressed in short sleeves, wearing sunglasses. It's cold and rainy here in Boston. I want to live in Ft Lauderdale and be a Marlins fan.
I read Joe Lieberman's position paper in the WSJ this morning. He wants to raise taxes on 2% of the voters - people earning more than $200,000 per year. As if that will solve our economic problems. It is deceiving math. In the misguided liberal zeal for wealth distribution, the results are to move money from the really rich to near-rich. We all know that the super-rich will do anything to avoid paying taxes to the government, even if it means spending huge sums of money on high-priced lawyers and accountants to find loopholes. Maybe we should just agree to cut everyone's taxes for two years and see if it works? My belief is that the rich will spend the money on stuff - which creates jobs for those of us who are not accountants and lawyers.
There was a photo of Mike Tyson at a basketball game holding up a "Free Kobe" sign. If I was Kobe, I would request Tyson to cease and desist. Cripes, the only worse thing would be to have Bill Clinton vouching for his character: "He never had sex with that teen whore."
I am sitting here today wishing I was a Marlins fan. The Boston team was knocked out of the running by the New York team in the playoffs. I admit that at first, it bothered my that "my" team lost. Then, I realized that there was no reason to allow it to affect my day.
Why should I give a sweet shit what the Boston Red Sox do? They really have nothing to do with me. And hardly anything to do with Boston, other than the fact that members of the team and some owners are temporary residents of Our Fair City. Grady Little, the (almost former) Manager hails from the cotton fields of Alabama or is it North Carolina? Who cares? Most of the player names are unfamiliar to me. Few of them were actually raised in New England, much less Boston. Next year many of them will be someplace else.
The Boston Red Sox is just another entertainment Company. The players are just employees. There is no loyalty anywhere in this business. Popular players are traded off like coeds at a frat party. Management and coaches are fired, retired or replaced at the drop of a hat. Whining overpaid prima donnas even go on strike every few years, because of the terrible oppression by league managers.
Fans are just poor saps who have more cash than good sense, who layout big bucks to watch these professionals working. And buy their "gear." Would anyone buy a picture of me looking words up in my Thesaurus?
And, What the heck does the success or failure of a company have to do with my happiness or well being? If the new Walt Disney movie flops, do I lose sleep or beat my breast in anguish? Well, I suppose if I owned stock in the company, I could care. But I don't and I don't.
All this crap about the bambino's curse is laughable. Grady Little didn't lose the game by leaving Pedro in too long in the eight inning. New York won the game in the eleventh inning. The freaking players lost the game! Fire them and bring in some players who can win in the clutch!
Anyhow, I just saw a news clip of the World Series Champion Marlins on TV. They were returning to Ft Lauderdale, coming home to their adoring fans, dressed in short sleeves, wearing sunglasses. It's cold and rainy here in Boston. I want to live in Ft Lauderdale and be a Marlins fan.
I read Joe Lieberman's position paper in the WSJ this morning. He wants to raise taxes on 2% of the voters - people earning more than $200,000 per year. As if that will solve our economic problems. It is deceiving math. In the misguided liberal zeal for wealth distribution, the results are to move money from the really rich to near-rich. We all know that the super-rich will do anything to avoid paying taxes to the government, even if it means spending huge sums of money on high-priced lawyers and accountants to find loopholes. Maybe we should just agree to cut everyone's taxes for two years and see if it works? My belief is that the rich will spend the money on stuff - which creates jobs for those of us who are not accountants and lawyers.
There was a photo of Mike Tyson at a basketball game holding up a "Free Kobe" sign. If I was Kobe, I would request Tyson to cease and desist. Cripes, the only worse thing would be to have Bill Clinton vouching for his character: "He never had sex with that teen whore."
10/18/2003
Still Searching for My Destiny
For some incomprehensible reason, the vast American employment machine has been unresponsive to my vigorous inquiries. I have networked extensively, posted my resume on literally several job boards, perused the help wanted ads in the sunday globe, and sat thoughtfully for hours in the back yard with a chilled beer and a self improvement book. (On many an occasion, I have lapsed into a self actualizing nap, dreaming, no doubt, of my next assignment as Commander).
But none of these activities has resulted in even a single interview, much less a job offer. Ok, maybe having lunch with the same people repeatedly does not qualify as "extensive" networking. And posting a resume on job boards seems to result in an increase in spam e-mails (especially multi-level-marketing opportunities and penis enlargement products.)
OK, maybe some of the prospective employers - who might yearn to have an aging, insubordinate, "no limits" fat guy on their staff - are put-off by my demands for exhorbitant compensation, superior benefits, and an attractive, buxom secretary.
But, should I "settle" for an inferior situation? I think not.
But none of these activities has resulted in even a single interview, much less a job offer. Ok, maybe having lunch with the same people repeatedly does not qualify as "extensive" networking. And posting a resume on job boards seems to result in an increase in spam e-mails (especially multi-level-marketing opportunities and penis enlargement products.)
OK, maybe some of the prospective employers - who might yearn to have an aging, insubordinate, "no limits" fat guy on their staff - are put-off by my demands for exhorbitant compensation, superior benefits, and an attractive, buxom secretary.
But, should I "settle" for an inferior situation? I think not.
10/17/2003
Close Call
Ok, I stayed up until 12:23 and watched the whole game. It was exciting, and the Sox were most certainly "in there", until they lost in the 11th inning. So, while I was not really hoping for a Red Sox loss, it does let me off the hook regarding the vow to apply for a holiday job in retail if they beat New York.
I feel sorry for the real fans who watched them all year long. And the idiots who got swept up in the fever at the end of the season. And the Bozo's who hocked grandma's silver to get the money to purchase playoff or world series tickets on E-bay. But the outcome was never in doubt. Those of us who have watched them for many years knew...not to believe.
Rather than dump on the manager who left Pedro in the game too long, or blaming the fielding errors, I am content to recall that we got some post season excitement, and a great effort from a bunch of overpaid, whining, disapponting losers.
In one sense things are much better. Now we can get back to watching football without the distraction of those futile hopes of victory.
I feel sorry for the real fans who watched them all year long. And the idiots who got swept up in the fever at the end of the season. And the Bozo's who hocked grandma's silver to get the money to purchase playoff or world series tickets on E-bay. But the outcome was never in doubt. Those of us who have watched them for many years knew...not to believe.
Rather than dump on the manager who left Pedro in the game too long, or blaming the fielding errors, I am content to recall that we got some post season excitement, and a great effort from a bunch of overpaid, whining, disapponting losers.
In one sense things are much better. Now we can get back to watching football without the distraction of those futile hopes of victory.
10/15/2003
My New Job
Ha ha I was just kidding. The past week has been well spent thinking about how nice it would be to win the Megabucks lottery. Unlike some unworthy souls, I would make a great millionaire. I would share a lot of it with other people and buy a big house near the beach. If that doesn't qualify me as a deserving person, I don't know what would.
The red sox just won game 6, so the agony will go on for at least one more game. I hope they lose, so I will not have to honor my vow to apply for a holiday retail job. On the other hand....
The red sox just won game 6, so the agony will go on for at least one more game. I hope they lose, so I will not have to honor my vow to apply for a holiday retail job. On the other hand....
10/08/2003
Fairweather Fan
Ok,Ok.
I have been besieged by fans of this blog to admit that I was wrong about the Red Sox. Ok, I admit it: I was wrong. They cowboyed up and won three games in a row. Are you happy now? I am glad to be wrong. And I also lied about not watching the games. I did watch them. (But I did not watch any pregame shows. Does anyone?)
I hate to rain on your little parades out there, but anyone who believes that the Sox will beat the Yankees is counting on freakish luck. They just squeaked by these Oakland guys and NY has been in first place all year. (If the Sox win the ALCS, I will apply for a holiday job in Retail as my penance. (Will you be using your Sears Card for that tummy-hiding girdle madam? )
I saw on the news last night that tickets to the ALCS games at Fenway are priced from several hundred dollars to as much as $5,000. What kind of moron would spend that kind of money to sit in seats that are too small, munching a $5.00 hot dog and gulping a watered down, overpriced beer. A "priceless" experience? I think not.
In contrast, I will watch the games for free. Parking $0. Distance to Bathroom from my seat: 20ft. Lines: 0 Food: Unlimited and reasonably priced. Beer: ditto.
Annoying fans sitting next to me: 2 (cats, wanting attention).
Somebody tell me, What am I missing? You want fries with that? (just practicing).
I have been besieged by fans of this blog to admit that I was wrong about the Red Sox. Ok, I admit it: I was wrong. They cowboyed up and won three games in a row. Are you happy now? I am glad to be wrong. And I also lied about not watching the games. I did watch them. (But I did not watch any pregame shows. Does anyone?)
I hate to rain on your little parades out there, but anyone who believes that the Sox will beat the Yankees is counting on freakish luck. They just squeaked by these Oakland guys and NY has been in first place all year. (If the Sox win the ALCS, I will apply for a holiday job in Retail as my penance. (Will you be using your Sears Card for that tummy-hiding girdle madam? )
I saw on the news last night that tickets to the ALCS games at Fenway are priced from several hundred dollars to as much as $5,000. What kind of moron would spend that kind of money to sit in seats that are too small, munching a $5.00 hot dog and gulping a watered down, overpriced beer. A "priceless" experience? I think not.
In contrast, I will watch the games for free. Parking $0. Distance to Bathroom from my seat: 20ft. Lines: 0 Food: Unlimited and reasonably priced. Beer: ditto.
Annoying fans sitting next to me: 2 (cats, wanting attention).
Somebody tell me, What am I missing? You want fries with that? (just practicing).
10/06/2003
More Jobs Lost to Wild Animal Attacks
Last week it was an escaped Gorilla in Boston sending an otherwise calm city into abject panic. And there were bear sightings in the western hills. A cougar on the loose in the Northern suburbs.
Now we have 260 odd people thrown out of work when Siegfried's partner Roy was mauled by a white Bengal Tiger onstage in Las Vegas. It was the event that people had been waiting for since the act started at the Mirage in 1990. But that is little comfort to the hundreds of people who are losing their jobs. What jobs? How can it take 260 people to feed a couple of tigers and empty some (large) litter boxes? These are mysteries which we want explained.
How many more must lose jobs before we stop the madness?
Now we have 260 odd people thrown out of work when Siegfried's partner Roy was mauled by a white Bengal Tiger onstage in Las Vegas. It was the event that people had been waiting for since the act started at the Mirage in 1990. But that is little comfort to the hundreds of people who are losing their jobs. What jobs? How can it take 260 people to feed a couple of tigers and empty some (large) litter boxes? These are mysteries which we want explained.
How many more must lose jobs before we stop the madness?
Fluke
Ok, the Red Sox won two games - both by a single run. No way they will win tonight in Oakland even with Pedro pitching. They can't get hits.
Don't even watch. I'm going to watch Reno 911 re-runs on the comedy channel.
Go Pats!
Don't even watch. I'm going to watch Reno 911 re-runs on the comedy channel.
Go Pats!
10/03/2003
Killing Frost
In anticipation of the first frost which was forecast last night, I spent a few hours yesterday, dismantling the tomato vines, picking off any fruits that looked tennis ball size or bigger. I have about ten pounds of greenies. These will be stored in a cool place wrapped in newspapers and allowed to ripen naturaly at their own pace. With any luck I will still have delicious ripe tomatoes for my salads until thanksgiving. The vines which have been so kind to me this season were mercilessly chopped-up and put onto the compost pile. Recycle Gold for next year.
When I got up this morning it was clear that it did not get cold enough last night to kill the annuals. Another case of weathermen trying to capture the attention of viewers by playing up the disastrous possibilities? Well, no matter. I got something done!
The only thing that died last night was the lingering hope that the Red Sox would indeed show up to play the Oaklands in game two. I am not surprised. They always choke; and it is good that they get it over quickly. The plausabilty of them winning the next three in a row is about as likely as Rush Limbaugh saying something nice about Ted Kennedy.
I refuse to watch any more games until the World Series starts. Not that it matters.
When I got up this morning it was clear that it did not get cold enough last night to kill the annuals. Another case of weathermen trying to capture the attention of viewers by playing up the disastrous possibilities? Well, no matter. I got something done!
The only thing that died last night was the lingering hope that the Red Sox would indeed show up to play the Oaklands in game two. I am not surprised. They always choke; and it is good that they get it over quickly. The plausabilty of them winning the next three in a row is about as likely as Rush Limbaugh saying something nice about Ted Kennedy.
I refuse to watch any more games until the World Series starts. Not that it matters.
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