The Pursuit of Happiness

The IDEAS section of today's Boston Globe had and interesting article discussing recent scientific research into what makes humans happy - and unhappy.

I know what you are thinking, Grasshopper: Happy = beer; and Unhappy = running out of beer.

But, the topic is not quite so simple. Most of us would assert that the pursuit of happiness is a constitutionally guaranteed right, despite the persistent nagging feeling that a lot of people are having more fun than we are. Even when something good happens, like a lottery hit, or we get something we have always wanted, the feeling of euphoria does not last very long. Delight fades to mere satisfaction which starts to rust almost immediately. Before we know it, we start to develop a new goal/dream/desire to add to our "To Do/Wish" list.

I have previously remarked on this phenomena of dissatisfaction with the status quo, which I have attributed to human nature. I believe it has been adequately explained by Abraham Maslow' s theory of human motivation - The hierarchy of needs - which everyone studied in college (Psychology 101). The pursuit of happiness is an ongoing process, because the things that make us happy keep changing.

No Grasshopper, I am not just talking about the pleasure one finds in strips of crisp bacon on buttered toast in the morning, or the ecstasy a frosty Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on a warm afternoon sitting on a screen porch with a cigar and a good spy novel. These are immutable moments of happiness, but sadly, they end all to soon.

The happiness we are talking about here is a lasting state of being. The research as discussed in the Ideas article shows that people are not very good at predicting what will bring them lasting happiness. The new boat or a bigger house usually involve unintended effects that diminish the sense of satisfaction. For example: moving to a bigger house may involve a migration to exurbia which entails a longer commute. The research seems to indicate that the unhappiness introduced by a longer, unpleasant commute seems to overshadow the joy of a bigger bathroom.

The ultimate determining factor of those who self report a sense of happiness is having a social network. (Maybe I need to reactivate my Facebook account.) Family, friendship, people to talk to - these are what make the difference.

So, there it is. Stop wasting your time trying to "be happy". You are doomed to never be totally satisfied. Go out and talk to your neighbors and call your mother.

The other side of this research is kind of interesting, too. People who ought to be very unhappy because they have suffered terrible trauma (such as loss of limbs or eyesight) seem not to be as bad off as we would predict. (read the article)

In other words, we suck at predicting the impact of future events of our state of being. In a 2006 survey, the Pew research org did a survey on happiness that is worth your review.

By the way, the pursuit of happiness was a phrase from the Declaration of Independence not the constitution. But you already knew that didn't you?

All this scholarship makes me thirsty. But, I seem to be out of beer :-(
Good thing I am friendly with the neighbors...

State of Fear

Yeah, back on line. Yeah, it cost me $300. Now I am scared to open any email with attachments or links. This is the big Achilles Heel of the internet - hackers can mess everything up. Security experts, like insurance salesman play on our worst fears. Makes you want to just stay in bed and pull the covers up.

I have recently finished re-reading Michael Crichton's State of Fear. The central action in the book is about a group of enviro-terrorists who go around fabricating fake catastrophic "events" to raise the level of fear about man-made global warming. I think Crichton makes an excellent case for those of us who are still skeptical about Al Gore's data - as proffered in "An Inconvenient Truth."

Published in 2004, the story is fictional, but the author did extensive research on the scientific reports and research data that was available at the time. The author -who died last year of apparently natural causes - warned about scientific consensus . Facts are facts, but consensus has almost always been proved wrong by improved observations.

You don't have to agree with all of the arguments made by characters in Crichton's book, but you might have trouble with some of the facts he cites. I do not wish to argue them here, because I think the bigger point that Crichton was making in the book was about the government-sponsored effort to keep the populace in a constant state of fear about things that individuals are helpless to control.


The objective of such a strategy is social control; it is easier to enforce rules which curtail liberties when the people are afraid. Especially if the demon is an unknown foreign power (like Russia or Iran for example) or the climate or even rogue asteroids.

The media thrives on fearful pronouncements and warnings, so do not expect them to dig into the alleged threats.

Now, to distract us from our deflated nest-eggs and the prospect of higher taxes, inflation and ineptitude in government, we have the prospect of swine flu pandemic. Not to worry - Uka Sam will help you. The check is in the mail. Maybe we should nuke Mexico?

Swine Flu and Other Viruses

You and I are in the wrong business, dude. We need to learn how to fix PC's.

I am writing at the public library today, because my PC is in the shop again. This time it was a virus that was pretending to be a security alert system. It obtrusively popped-up to "warn" me about potential attacks. The more I tried to ignore it, the more insistent it became, until I finally unplugged the foolish thing and took it in to Data Doctors. They were pleased to see me, and assured me that it was nothing that a few days scrubbing and $300 couldn't fix.

I am not sure how the virus got into my machine, or when. I disabled my Mcaffee virus blocker years ago, because it slowed my PC down to an unacceptable crawl. Besides that I was convinced that all the new viruses were aimed at the latest Microsoft Operation system. I'm still running XP. We never click on strange links or download anything. So, I hope that I did not pass anything along to people who I send email attachments to. More importantly, I hope I still have my documents when I get the PC back. (No, I have not backed up the files for several months. Thanks for asking.)

Have you noticed that the media are once again trying to create a state of fear about the prospect of a swine flu pandemic? I think this flu business is a marketing product of the pharmacy companies to make us run out to buy Tamiflu. So, have you got any?

Eye Trouble

There is an old joke where the employee calls in "sick".
Boss: What's wrong?
Employee: Eye trouble
Boss: Eye trouble? What do you mean?
Employee: Well, I just can't see working today.

That's how I feel these days.

I know what you are thinking: "What a wuss! You only work 20 hours a week, and you don't have to go in until mid morning, you get out before rush hour. No heavy lifting. No statistics. You get along with your coworkers. What's your problem, dude?"

Ok, here is the answer (and stop calling me 'dude', OK?):
Life is short. I have other things to do.

In past entries, I have referred to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as the best explanation for human motivation. In a nutshell, people are never satisfied with the status quo. (I believe a lot of people settle for status quo but continue to yearn for change.)

The present part time job satisfied a lot of the needs I had expressing before starting last August: A schedule, social interaction, being part of a team, making a few bucks...
All of these were accomplished. And it has been good for me, I will admit.

But, the restrictions of having a job are more than I want to live with at this point in my life. The company doesn't want employees to take long vacations, they expect you to show up on time every day that you are scheduled. This job required me to wear a dress shirt and tie (despite the fact that the many of the customers were slovenly, bad tempered and possessed the fashion consciousness of a 4 year old.) .

So, like a fickle hearted suitor, I proved that I could get the job and do the job --- and now I don't want the job anymore. Thus, I have notified my manager that he might consider finding a replacement as of June 1.

Please do not be concerned that my schedule will now have gaping holes. Somehow my calendar has become scribbled on with a prodigious list of things that need to be done around the house and grounds, not to mention a planned vacation to Maine and Canada.
My wife, who has been enjoying the footloose and free life of post-retirement, has been encouraging me take more time off to go places with her. We also have decided to spend a month in Florida next winter.

A few nights ago, we suddenly lost our favorite cat, our ten-year-old male Siamese, Jasmine-Ming. One minute he was fine; the next minute he was lying on the rug unable to walk and in yowling pain. The emergency vet said it was a blood clot, probably caused by a heart condition. The prognosis for recovery was poor; and we all (reluctantly) agreed that euthanasia was the best option. Finis.

This event underscores the fragility of life. Ming was "just a cat" but he was a family member just the same. Any minute, any one of us could be struck down by accident, stroke, fall, natural or man-caused disaster - heck a meteor could fall out of the sky and poof.

When it happens to me, I do not want to be sitting at a desk; I want to be fishing.

Failure is one of many options

I had an interview for a part time professional job a few weeks ago at a local academic research institute. I did well on 3 of the interviews; the 4Th turned out to be the proverbial interview from hell. It was one of the most uncomfortable hours of my adult life, being grilled by a potential colleague who believed that the successful candidate should have a PhD in Statistics or, at very least, to understand how to use those Excel spreadsheet stat functions that I never learned. I was given a piece of paper and asked to plot the curve of some data that were in an array. It was like an SAT exam question. I drew a happy face, hoping I could charm my way out of this sticky situation. She was not impressed. It was clear from her icy demeanor and Gitmo style interrogation methods that I was NOT what she was looking for. I am not exaggerating - I was actually water-boarded - and my copy of the "Statistics 101 for Dummies" was flushed down a toilet!


I'm sure she gave me a big fat F. I did not get an offer.

The good news is: I will not have the prospect of daily contact with a hostile, nitpicking micromanaging colleague to make my life miserable. Not to mention, parking would have been a nightmare. (I racked-up $33 in parking costs on my three visits, not to mention the probable brain damage during the statistics torture session.)


The experience has reminded me that life is short; and maybe a guy who has spent more than 30 years writing business requirements, specifying data conversions, designing reports and worrying about data integrity - maybe this guy should go sit on a beach and stop trying to get a real job.

St Patrick's Day 2009

Last year at this time, we were on the western side of Kauai. I noticed that St Paddy's Day is not a big deal over there, despite the similarities between Ireland and Hawaii. Both are ancient civilizations who still strongly believe in spirits and sprites. Hawaii, like Ireland, does not have indigenous snakes - who drove them out? St. Iniki?

Anyhow, to tell the truth, I would rather be in Hawaii today enjoying the 80 degree beaches, than here in Boston where it is currently 34 degrees. On the plus side, I have a sixer of Harp in the fridge and an invite tonight for GWP's home-corned beef for the annual dinner (which we missed last year).

How about a bit o' poetry to celebrate the day?

St. Patrick’s Day

Fake Irishmen wearing silly green ties
Calling with bad brogues
for a wee dram of green beer
In bars festooned with shamrocks
Pipes and cartoon leprechauns they
Sing-a-long to a verse of Danny Boy
Like tone deaf drunken goats,
They set the dogs to barking
With their droning tura-lura-lura

Amateurs: they end-up
puking on their Italian loafers
waking-up late for work
the next day in a hangover fog

Grandsons of the famines
Endure this minstrel show
With a mirthless grin
We stay to ourselves
Washing shots of Bushmills
Down with a beer
Glad not to be thinking
About the days
When Irish need not apply.

Yes We Can

I bought a package of underwear today at Sears. I only mention this because by the end of the day , the stock market jumped 379 points.

Could this be the start of the hoped-for rally that has been predicted? I am no economist but I am pretty sure that if everyone out there would just go to a retail store tomorrow and buy something, the economy will start to improve.

Look I bought $15 worth of underwear and the Dow went up 379 points.
Tomorrow, I'm going to shop for socks.

What are you doing to help?

Bail-out the Boomers

I have an alternative to some of those pork barrel projects that the Obama congress has recently approved as part of the Stimulus Plan. You know the ones I am referring to - that do nothing to stimulate the economy - like funding more social services and roads to nowhere and giving raises to bureaucrats

New law, Boomer Relief Bailout retroactive to Jan 2009: Anyone eligible for IRA distributions, whose taxable income from all sources is less that 250K per year will be allowed to take ordinary distributions up to $20,000 from an IRA/401K tax free!
The effect of this law would free-up money that many retirees are rat-holing because they are reluctant to expose it to IRS taxes. The Gov't wants to stimulate the economy, and this would inject billions of dollars into the economy now - instead of waiting for it to be distributed years down the road, squandered on nursing homes and depends.

In the long run this would cost a lot less than imposing new taxes on a beleaguered generation. This plan would also afford some relief to the low-middle income group (many of whom have already lost up to half of their retirement nest egg in the past 18 months.)

Many people would be eager to take out a "tax free" $20K and take a trip, put a down payment on a house, install replacement windows or buy a car!

This would help to save America! Are you listening John Kerry? Barney Frank? Ferris Beuller?

Why I Deactivated my Facebook Account

Don't look for me on Facebook anymore. I deleted myself yesterday, after realizing that most of my "friends" are really relatives or in-laws. And we are using the internet to communicate instead of calling each other on the phone or writing more than 2 sentences in a letter.

It is very revealing. And what it reveals is how banal and un-interesting my network is. And, who gives a crap about their pets? Or livestock? People taking photos of themselves with animals is just creepy, if you ask me.

The other thing my "friends" do is to entertain themselves by writing comments on my wall to correct spelling errors (and other minor inaccuracies). Please - if you can't think of anything more to say than to comment on someone's grammatical mistakes or spelling errors, perhaps you should re-evaluate your priorities, you nitpicking natterers.

It's really a young person's venue - where people give out personal information like popcorn, and post inanities. I admit to posting a few myself. See, it's not my fault, it's the medium that invites reckless behavior. This is why I do not blame my tormentors. Now I have deleted the wall. They lose. Besides, no one likes them and they smell funny.

Anyway, the whole facebook idea is just based on graffitti when you think about it.
Oh did I mispell that? Who cares?

Stop The Presses!

Holy cow, fatman, the breaking news is in!

Researchers have made the startling discovery that regardless of the fad diet, the significant factor in weight loss is fewer calories.

Duh.

American Cowardice

The new AG called us a nation of cowards yesterday because most Americans hang out with people of their own race. Thanks a lot. After a lifetime of supporting efforts to level the playing field, it suddenly dawns on me that Nothing will ever be enough when you are dealing with the victim mentality.

I'm sure Holder was also intentionally firing his shotgun at all self-segregating peoples of every color and background. For example those *bleeping* Amish. They should be ashamed of themselves for preferring to associate with people with whom they share common interests and moral beliefs.

If Holder (the first black AG in our history) thinks we need more honest discussions about race, he should address the specifics rather than exploding a suitcase bomb full of guilt in the public square. He might start by addressing the reasons people are drawn together rather than poking a sharp stick at the touch points of hatred.

What the hell is he talking about anyhow? Doesn't he have a cable TV? There are shows on every network discussing race relations, all the time. They get boring, because the issue that really needs to be addressed is national ignorance not intolerance. How can you have a frank and honest discussion with someone who thinks the word "niggardly" used in proper context is a racial slur?

How about a frank and honest discussion about those professional racists, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton? And how about Rev Wright? Maybe I'm missing something but I do not see representatives of any other group who have gained such noteriety by frank and honest dialogue.

Hopefully, Mr Holder will revise his word usage, or some of us "cowards" might become bold enough to sue for reparations.

Enough Already

I can't figure out why the liberal press keeps harassing Sarah Palin. She seems to be a lightning rod for all the losers in Alaska and dems who want to keep the spotlight off Biden. She's not that bad. I don't think she was McCain's best choice - and he might have won with someone like Romney or even Giulianni as the VP. Still, I think they should leave her be for a few more years at least.

Why I Am Going to Register as a Republican

Democratic Senator Predicts None of His Colleagues 'Will Have the Chance' to Read Final Stimulus Bill Before Vote

I think it should be a punishable crime for congressional representatives to vote for a bill that they have not read. There should be no rush to the vote to sell our grandchildren into indentured servitude.

This is Chicago style politics, and it's dirty.

We are Not Impressed

The Dow dropped 382 points yesterday, reflecting Wall Street's confidence in the new administration's vague plans for spending trillions of dollars that we do not have.

We are not impressed with Mr Geithner who should have showed-up better prepared to address the details that he surely must have known were expected. One blogger thinks he looked like a deer in the headlights. I thought his attempts at coolness came-off as arrogance

We are also dismayed by the President's vagueness at the press conference yesterday. Unlike the fawning George Stephanopoulos, we gave him a "D" because like most of the country, we wanted to hear a reason to support his plans. He did not earn any grade points on economy questions. Complaining about partisan politics (because the opposition wanted to cut out funding for programs that would do nothing to improve the economy)clangs like an empty drum.

Then again today at the town meeting in Ft Myers, it was embarrassing to hear questioners begging The President for relief for their "urgent needs" as if he were the moderator of a give-away show. (Er, fine, my staff will look into it.)
How about, "Sorry, I know I promised you Socialism, but it's gonna take time to get the money to all you victims of opression."

Every day my retirement nestegg gets smaller. I need a bailout too but, like Chicken Little, I'm afraid that the sky (Dow) has fallen - and it can't get up.

The Solution

Yesterday, I used my government-issued $40 voucher to buy an analog to digital TV converter. CVS had them on sale for $49.

We are not cave people; we do have digital access via FIOS on the two main sets. The upstairs TV gets the free analog channels, so we elected not to pay $5 per month for the Verizon set-top box.

I had applied for the voucher online early in January and, sure enough, it came in the mail last week. Using the card at checkout worked like butter. My out-of-pocket cost was $9 and change, yet $49 went into the retail sales machine.
(What a bonus it would have been if the manufacturers of these devices were in America instead of Hong Kong.)

It occurs to me that this Voucher approach could be The Solution. Instead of a bloated "bail-out" bill - which will pour hundreds of billions into the coffers of organizations that will not do anything to help "stimulate" the economy, the Feds should just issue voucher cards to individuals for retail, home improvement and entertainment purchases.

If you think about it, the principle stimulus to the economy is at the consumer level. When consumers are consuming all is right with the world. Spending at this level moves inventory, creates jobs, drives confidence. Before you know it you have a rally in the stock market, banks start lending money, people buy new stuff...

Instead of giving more money to failed banks and social services, the bail-out money needs to go to activities that drive sales of goods, services and real estate.

You want to buy a new car, house, boat? Unka Sam will help. Here's your voucher.
You have 45 days to use it or it goes away. Granted this creates another level of bureacracy to administer the givaways. Maybe a new cabinet secretary - a voucher czar?

Anyhow, I hope all the elected reps who read this blog are paying attention. Please do not pass the bill which is loaded with pork and feathers. We are watching and we will not forget what you do here today.

Public Education

Sorry to those of you who depend on my postings to lift the dreariness of your workaday life. I have been wrapped-up in my own mundane existence recently, and have not had much spare time for opining on the bizarre behavior of others.

Since I have returned to the workforce several months ago, I have refrained from commenting on my job or the organization, lest someone of poor humor find my observations to be worthy grounds for involuntary termination. Please do not take this lack of commentary as an indicator that I have at last found a position worthy of my skills and ambitions. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The best thing about my part-time situation is the 20 hour work schedule. The worst thing is that it is basically a retail business that involves working with the public. The "public" means for every ten people you deal with, 2 are enjoyable, 6 are OK and 2 are odious bad-tempered shits.

If I could find a part-time job as a systems analyst or other information professional, within my commute range, at a higher wage, I would jump at it. But such opportunities are pretty rare. I don't know why this is the case. Some observers have suggested that I increase my acceptable commute range beyond a 10-minute ride, but I have my priorities!

If I was a local business or IT manager I would definitely consider hiring experienced low -maintenance old guys, willing to solve problems for cheap money, without benefits for, say, 3 days a week. I'm thinking the current economic situation is going to make it even harder to find someone willing to try a new - potentially more effective - model for work.

So, I just keep my mouth shut and go to work at my retail job. My favorite pub is on the way home, so, life is not so bad.

Most professional people have never worked at a job where there is a counter and an expectation of customer service. These lucky cube dwellers never realize how rude and obnoxious the general public can be. If you have ever sneered at a clerk or stiffed the pizza delivery guy you probably thought they were bumbling oafs - not somebody's mother or a neighbor's kid who was trying their best to do the right thing.

For example, if you encountered me at my part time job, you might regard me as a nice, friendly, well-meaning, old, incompetent fart -- never realizing that I am in fact ornery, extremely competent and fully in control of my bodily gasses. The core reason for your misunderstanding about me is the ancient, poorly designed business process that I am obligated to follow.

Instead of rendering to you exemplary customer service - because your satisfaction is my highest ambition - I am presented with an obstacle course/maze of badly designed systems and processes through which I must find my way (while you wait, impatiently, drumming your fingers on the counter) in order to take your money and give you a receipt and the proper change.

As a sophisticated customer, in the age of bar-coding, Blackberry and IPod, you probably expect the customer service interaction to be smooth and effective. When it does not meet your expectations, you naturally consider the person on the other side of the counter to be a dolt. (I do not blame you for thinking this way, I only hope you can refrain from actually treating the poor retail drone as a dolt.)

Retail management should be the object of your derision and mockery. They are the figures who sit in posh corporate offices, deciding not to spend the cost of 1 hour of programming to save 10 unnecessary clicks on every sale in the cashiering program that processes 10,000 transactions a week.

That and their dumbass customer service surveys. You should know that if you did not like the service, please never fill-out a survey. It will not improve things if you rate your experience as less than 100% satisfied. These surveys are just used as a baseball bat to punish the most innocent victim in the food chain - the poor shmuck whose job is to deliver a bad product to you. If you want to improve things, always talk to the boss directly and do not blame your clerk/waiter/delivery guy.

So, gentle readers, my re-entry into the working world of retail has been a learning experience for me. Not always inspirational, but it has given me a good reason to shower and shave every few days. Someday, I may be able to use some of this material, And we have not even begun to talk about my coworkers.

Please, don't get me started....

Someone Up There is an Idiot

Here is the afternoon headline "US will give $85 million to aid Palestinians"

Now I do not want to see anyone suffer, but that seems a lot like giving aid and comfort to the enemies of our only reliable Mideastern ally.

These Gaza schmucks are the ones who 1) voted Hamas into power and 2) let them start the fight with Israel. Hello - The consequences of shooting rockets over the border are fairly well established in history. The Palestinians are reaping what they sowed. Can it get more stupid?

Answer, yes. The US government - which has already demonstrated to the world that supposedly smart people can act stupidly to a degree that challenges credulity - wants to give the poor Pallys more money.

Doesn't anyone up there realize that recipients see money as a reward for behavior?

And While we are asking questions, I would like to know:when is the US going to help the US taxpayer?

Happy Boxing Day

Traditionally, the day after Christmas was observed by giving gifts to the less fortunate. These days, it is a media-sponsored shopping day - where you stand in line to return the crappy gifts you got for Christmas.

If we get any crappy gifts, we save them for New Years Eve.

For the past twenty-odd years, ten of us - couples from the old neighborhood - have gotten together at the Clooneys for the annual rite of passage from old year to new year. We have drinks and dinner. George presides over the grading of our predictions from the past year. The winner gets a bottle of wine for a prize. Then he reads all of our new predictions for the coming year. Last year, when George predicted that oil woud drop below $75 a barrel. We all laughed.
A few of us predicted Obama's successful run, but nobody saw Sarah Palin coming. And no one really thought that we would be in a bad recession (or we definitely would have spent more money on frivolous things).


After predictions we have the White Elephant Yankee Swap. We are all charged to bring a wrapped, unwanted item that we got as a gift. Then, in fine Yankee Swap tradition, we draw numbers and choose from the pile of crappy gifts. The "gifts" range from bizarre noisy gadgets (e.g., a rotating santa claus that repeatedly plays some chinese melody) to the just plain ugly (a plastic fish that sings "On the dock of the bay," when you touch it's head).


It is a cut-throat game between competitive New York types (There are only 2 Boston area natives in the group), bringing out the worst in us, but it is kind of fun. We permit ourselves to be politically incorrect (laughing uproariously at gifts which reveal at the bad taste of less sophisticated gift givers) and we can be mean-spirited in a harmless way.

At the end, each of us ends-up with a crappy gift/stolen treasure. Clooney reminds us each year of the two rules: One, you must not dispose of the crappy gift until you are off his property; and two, you cannot save your crappy gift to bring again next year.


Then it is midnight; we all watch the ball in Times Square fall on TV. We drink some champagne, kiss all the members of the opposite sex and go home at 12:05. We are all in our sixties and cannot stay-up all night partying - like we did years ago.
The next day, we take the crappy gifts that we got from the white elephant swap to the dump. We call it "recycling;" more noble than re-gifting, don't you agree?

Merry Christmas

It is 50 degrees outside. Holy climate change, Batman.

If you haven't got our snail-mailed Christmas Card yet (and that includes 99% of you - please be assured that we do wish you the best wishes for the season regardless of your religion, gender orientation, handicap, political ambition, zip code or race.

On the list of real Procrastinators, my name is very near the top. That is why there was no Christmas letter this year, nor last year... come to think of it. Maybe I will get it finished and call it a New Year letter...

Yeah, well, maybe next year....

Winter Wonderland

The snow looks beautiful outside, covering everything with another blanket of fluffy snow. Everyone is in a panic because it has been snowing off and on since noon on Friday and a new storm ( a northeaster) has barreled up the coast to join the desultory low pressure area that has been coming from the west. Holy global warming batman they think we could get another 8 inches.

Honk honk: They're baaak. Due to the wicked bad arctic melting, they have called off school for the next few weeks. We need to watch the grand kids Monday and Tuesday, so their working parents can keep earning the rent money. Probably Wednesday too. Good thing I have a part time job, eh?

Well, Let it snow....I need to go and check to see if we have enough beer....

The Curse of Global Warming

This forum has been out of service due to Global Warming.
The man-made increase in greenhouse gasses that brought 8" of snow to places like New Orleans and Dallas last week also generated a wicked Ice storm that hit Worcester County here in Massachusetts.

Last Friday we got a call from our daughter who lives near Worcester. "We are trapped in the house with no heat or electricity. There are power lines and tree limbs all over the street. And I can't talk long because my cell phone battery is running low and I can't re-charge it. Can we come and stay with you?"

That was the first news I heard of the storm which had deposited freezing rain on tree limbs which became so heavy that they snapped and brought any wires down with them. The breaking limbs sounded like gunshots in a war zone.

Fortunately, with help from neighbors, the they were able to get heavy tree limbs out of the way so they could make their way out and escape the cold, dark cave that the house had become. They packed the contents of their dead refrigerator into plastic tubs along with some clothes and came to our house to wait for power to be restored.

So for the past week, we have been hosting the four refugees, turning my computer space, into a bedroom for the 2 active grandsons ages 8 and 6. It has been fun at times and challenging also - especially if one needs some quiet moments to write one's blog.

Last night, one full week later, they got news that electricity was back on. This morning, they returned home. Ergo, I have my writing space and the chaos is diminished.

The experience reminds us how illusionary is the safety and security of modern life. We take power, fresh water and heat for granted. We expect the supermarket and ATM machines to be available 24x7. As the Katrina debacle in New Orleans demonstrated a few years ago, we realize that we all are, in fact, a mere 36 hours from becoming savages.

It also underscores another fact of human existence: unless it is happening to us, we tend to be insensitive to the plight of others.

All is well for now. Perhaps some semblance of normalcy will return...
Wait! What is this on the news? Another 12 inches of snow this afternoon?
Curse you, global warming!

Post Colonoscopy post

Don't worry, I am not posting the video of my latest encounter with The Rear Admiral. Katie Courec already scooped the field of gastroenterologic porn. You might go to You-tube if you are looking for that sort of entertainment.

Lately, I have been thinking about things that we really need to make life bearable. With all the dire warnings about the failing economy and hard times, it's clear that the government needs to spend money more wisely.

I am not a fan of earmarks, but there is one area of medicine that I think deserves a hefty government subsidy: Finding a colonsocopy prep that doesn't taste like elephant ass.

Click

Like most of my fellow Americans I do not believe that we need government censorship. The recent interest in "The Fairness Doctrine" has thrown some of the local right wing talk show hosts into a state of screechy fear.

The righties are always blathering about the Liberal bias of "the mainstream media." So when they (quite accurately) observe that the major outlets of news and entertainment tend to slant liberal, they are always full of righteous (and somewhat pompous) indignation. In other words, they see a vast left wing conspiracy.

But if the majority of the most-watched news networks and programming are aimed at the vast (Liberal) majority of viewers, it would seem that the benefactors of the Fairness Doctrine would be the under-represented Conservatives. How is my logic flawed?

Despite the constant and eternal drumbeat of negativity towards anything not-conservative (ie, America hating Democrats), these pompous pundits worry that the fairness doctrine will put them out of business. Supporters hurry to defend the one-sided rants of these talk show hosts by citing the ubiquity of the mainstream. Note that Limbaugh and Savage and lessor known imitators seldom have guests - especially not anyone who can present an intellectual defense of an opposing position. Instead they entertain the loyal listeners with soundbites clipped out-of-context to which they mount their mocking attacks.

The public does not need the government to tell us what to listen to on the radio or TV. The FCC certainly has a legitimate role to ensure that the airwaves are not being used to promote illegal activities or to incite the public to acts of violence. But I do not want the government shutting-down Rush Limbaugh or Michael Savage in the name of the fairness doctrine.


Air America the anti- right wing network failed because it didn't attract enough listeners/sponsors. That is the American way - we abandon those who fail to entertain us.

My personal vote has been registered via my radio dial. I no longer listen to the local talk shows. The traditional role of talk radio as a place where one might hear a balanced perspective has been replaced by ego-maniacs on a mission. Not entertaining.

click

McCain was on SNL last night. This time he was pretty good. Cindy also made an appearance. I got the impression that he figured "What the hell; I've got nothing to lose." He seemed to enjoy doing the skit with fake Sara Palin (Tina Fey).

Somewhere you will probably see a clip of last night's host Ben Aflec, stating that he supports John McCain for president. The clip will probably not include Aflec's build-up where he notes that every candidate that he has ever publicly supported from Dukakis to Gore to Kerry has lost. So in that spirit he hopes to ensure an Obama victory by publicly coming-out for McCain.

Barney Frank has an ad that shows a daisy chain of elephants mounting each other from the rear. He should fire the company that came up with that one. He totally blames the Republicans for the Wall street meltdown. He promises to clean up the mess when he is re-elected.

Well, this effing election thing is almost over. No October surprise. Gas is $2.56 per gallon. People are shopping for SUV's again. What a world.

Sign at the local Starbucks: "POLITICS Poly = many Tics=Blood-sucking parasites"
Well said.

Hallowe'en Thoughts

Obama's expensive infomercial on Wednesday night was a yawn. Instead of a hard-hitting 5 minute spot, it was a rehash of everything we already know. After what seemed like 2 hours, I shut it off to go and sort my socks. What a colossal waste of campaign contributions - that could have been more effectively spent buying votes through ACORN :-)
If there was ever a subliminal advertising spot designed to convince people not to waste their hard earned money on contributions to political campaigns, this had to be it.
Seriously folks, next time you are tempted to write a check for your fave candidate, you must realize that you are actually funding those nasty TV ads and dumbass feel-good spots that we all mock and deride. They take your hard-earned money and waste it with idiotic attacks and self-serving video masturbation.

This is all designed to make you forget that the American Presidential nomination and election process somehow manages to disqualify anyone who would actually be a great leader. We always end up with two candidates, neither of whom would be trusted to properly run your town's recycling and disposal facility (Dump), never mind becoming head honcho of the freaking nation.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One that same vein, the poor schmuck who is running against John Kerry was in the news yesterday. Jeff Beatty, largely unknown Republican, who has been waging a fruitless campaign to try to knock-off John Kerry in the US senatorial election, finally gets a little press coverage in the Boston Globe. Not because of his political positions, but because his hapless campaign paid a fundraising outfit 96% of every dollar raised on his behalf. This is not money spent on campaign expenses, posters, ads or anything that might help the candidate. This was the cost of raising the money. Paying the guys who solicited just enough money to pay their own costs. Talk about a black hole!

Even Kerry would not be that clueless. This is sad. People give money to politicians thinking that they are helping some noble effort. Yet, the recipients have so little respect for the earned dollar that they squander the money in stupid ways. Next time you are tempted to do something charitable with your money, you would be better off going down to the corner bar, and buying rounds of drinks for total strangers. At least then your money would be doing some good. And you would have a few more friends.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My conservative friends probably see tonight's festivities as just one more step in the American dance toward Socialism. The slide down a slippery slope will be manifested in the gatherings of youth, who will be dressed in masks and costume and who will go around banging on their neighbors' doors, demanding treats and threatening dire tricks to be played upon the unwilling. Assets will be confiscated. Kid-hating elderly will turn off their lights and cower in their beds. Evil spirits will laugh at our shrinking nest eggs. It is training for the little goblins and pirates to grow into young Marxists who will come to believe that what's yours is also theirs.

Scary thoughts. Some of us will dull the pain with a few beers to help us sleep through it all.

Being Right can be Disappointing.

McCain/Palin voter support seems to be slipping away gradually like leaves from a maple tree in Autumn. Although no one openly agrees with polling results that favor the opposition, hardass conservatives must be munching Rolaids these days.

Their candidate has not galvanized the red states, the stock market declines are making voters wonder whether unfettered greed (i.e., Capitalism) is really the best system for America, and the camel is in the tent which is sliding down a slippery slope. Dark days are certainly ahead...

But the majority of you Maalox drinkers should have heart. President Obama will not be raising your taxes. It is those poor shmucks who are earning over one million USD per year that he will be targeting.

Think of poor Tina Fey, whose career stock has risen with her recent return to SNL, playing Sarah Palin, will burst like the housing bubble.

I suggest that Republican loyalists would do well do pray that Obama remains healthy during the next term or two.

Game 7

After giving up and going to bed at 11pm in game 5 and missing the Red Sox comeback from a 7-0 deficit, I realize I am considered a fairweather fan, but here I am again watching game 7 in the 4th inning with my guys ahead.

This is how I entertain myself during the repetitive ads all of which I have seen 30 times already. I cannot figure out how the ad guys have convinced the sponsors that if you show the same ad 30 times the viewers will not start using the time to check on desparate housewives or to go get a beer or update their blogs.)

I feel sorry for those dads who are watching the game with their sons - especially the younger ones -with the Viagra ads. How the heck do you explain floppy weiner to an eight year old?

Worst ads : The dumabass car ad with Brook Shield, They're here! any ad with that punkass asten kutcher, the aforementioned erectile disfunction products and the super dumb phone ad where the guy calls his daughter "dude".

The best one is the e-trade kid who used his profits to rent a clown. And the Verizon dead zone at the motel.

5th inning oh crap we're losing 2-1!
7th Inning still losing. Aybar home run makes it 3-1 Curse them
9th Inning the Sox cannot score with men on base and thus lose the effing game.

Thank goodness. Now I can get some sleep

Still Undecided After Final Debate

The presidential debate last night was the most revealing dialogue that we have seen to date. The moderator Bob Shieffer did a fine job, and if I may say so, looked somewhat presidential himself.

I liked the format, with the two candidates sitting at the table with plenty of time to answer the questions. This time McCain looked at Obama when he criticized. Obama smiled at McCain's attacks the way you do when your aging Uncle Jimmy starts his crazy rants.

I thought Obama squandered some great opportunities to put our minds at ease about some of the dark allegations about his past associates (e.g., Rev Wright, Resco) but he did credibly discuss his role as Counsel with ACORN which has been flogged by the conservative talk shows ad nauseum.

He seemed calm and collected, while McCain seemed furtive, nervous, robotic and a bit giggly. (Not good presidential qualities). This performance was unsettling to me, because this very morning, I had resolved to vote for McCain on the sole basis of his plan to allow $10,000 in distributions from IRA's to be free from taxes for two years.

Now, I am undecided again. Maybe I should write-in for Bob Shieffer.

In the WSJ today, Danial Henninger writes a great column (McCain's Katrina)
He draws an excellent analogy between the FEMA response to Katrina and McCain's impotence in the "Hurricane Fannie" affair.
However, I think he omitted the most damaging part of the story. When House and Senate representatives added another billion dollars in earmarks to the "emergency" bailout bill, they demonstrated the worst of cynical "business as usual' Washington politics.

It was McCain's moment to "name names" of the miscreant earmarkers and to demonstrate his skill at getting things done. Instead of being the tough crusader against such pork barrel spending, McCain meekly voted for the bill without even commenting on it.
For me, this Homer Simpson moment erased much of McCain's credibility as the self-annointed guy who can fix things.

The Sox are going down in flames, the Patriots glory days are history, and the economy is on a feeding tube. The only good news is that this effing election is almost over.

The Bailout

Note to readers: Sorry for those of you who have come to depend on my analytical brilliance to decide how you feel about issues of the day, but my PC crapped-out the other day and I have been challenged to find time and opportunity to post. My part-time workplace actually blocks computer access to most Internet sites, and I do not have a "back-up" 'puter ready to go. Today I am using my wife's laptop which I find awkward and clunky. Still, the show must go on!



The stock market has been volatile and the news is grim. Stories of people losing their life savings and businesses threatening to lay people off are now the daily staple of media reports.



In the news today there was a story about a woman who had invested all her money in Wachovia Bank stock. She lived in her own home in an affluent suburb, and was living a good life funded entirely on stock dividends. Now she is living in her son's basement.



People like me - who have already given up full time jobs in favor of retirement - are worried that our dwindling nest-eggs could disappear entirely - and we too will be forced to live in our children's basements. (I have even stashed a couple of hundred bucks in a sock just in case the ATM system fails and I need beer money).

It is not fun to be dependent on a fixed income, (especially if you are not getting fat trust fund checks like Paris Hilton ) or, working a part-time retail hellhole job making small money and putting-up with the odious public.



But, gentle readers, be not discouraged. Life will go on. Business cycles are an historic fact of life and this too shall pass. We will survive this crisis somehow. It will not be fun, but that doesn't mean that you cannot have any fun. As we work our way through these coming hard times I shall share some of my cost-cutting secrets with you my loyal readers - all four of you!



Now to the hard analysis of the bail-out:

This meltdown of credit markets can be traced directly back to the affirmative action goals of the federal government, which mandated that lenders give mortgage loans to people who could not afford them unless the equity value of the property kept rising. Freddie and Fannie were forced to guarantee these shaky loans.....


Combine the government's social engineering experiment with the greed and chicanery of the investment banks and mortgage companies and you get a trillion dollars betting that the houses that were held as collateral in these contracts would increase in value indefinitely, and nobody would lose. Well they didn't, and lots of people lost a lot; then the walls came tumbling down....

The solution:

Much as it will hurt, the government needs to let the businesses that risked their survival on bad loans fail. People will lose jobs. The gov't needs to help small businesses by extending credit to them, but not buying bad debt.



I will lose my stockholder equity in companies like AIG. I hate that, but hey I knew it was a gamble. There should not be guarantees for gamblers.

The people who bought houses that they couldn't afford are no worse off than they were before, and they have had a nice house to live in for a while. The leadership of the failed companies cannot be allowed to walk away with money when everyone else loses. Contract shmontract. Employees of failed companies will need to find work elsewhere. Government representatives who guessed wrong and made the situation worse must resign (and it would be nice if they took the blame in the manner of Japanese tradition of honor (sepicu).

The Way I saw It

During the debate tonight Obama beat the snot out of McCain. McCain was like a little girl - not able to look Obama in the eye, how can he claim that he looked Putin in the eye? Or that he would face up to other world leaders?

Obama seemed presidential. He clarified every accusation despite the feeble attempts by McCain to continue to distort and mischaracterise his position.

Neither of them addressed the current fiscal crisis in any meaningful way that would invite a voter to think that they had a real handle on the situation. This is indeed distressing. Where is Ross Perot when you need him with his charts and graphs?

McCain failed to make a convincing case for his tax cuts to people making more than 250,000 per year nor did he address Obama's stilleto puncture of the Business Tax rate loophole balloon. On the other hand Obama did not provide any mathmatical support to tell us where all the money would come from to support his programs.

McCain's point about South Koreans being an average of 3" taller than North Koreans made about as much sense as Obama trotting-out his Kenyan roots and the diminished capacity of the USA to attract immigrants. Maybe I was dozing off and missed those points.

Beyond Stupid

Anyone who thinks the "lipstick slur" was anything other than a fiendishly funny line, needs to get their panties out of their wedge and have their sense of humor recharged.
You probably laughed when Sarah sneered about Obama's experience as a community organizer with no responsibilities, which was very offensive to many of the Republican community organizers out there. Wait a minute. Oh lordy, never mind. I've just been informed that there are Zero Republican community organizers out there. Whew!

For those who still don't get it, Why would calling her a pig make sense?

That would be stupider than asking the guy in the wheelchair to stand up and take a bow...

Someone was right when they said things are getting "beyond stupid."

Geena Davis Where are You?

Well McCain's new VP nominee is a babe. And someday I think she could be a real contender: she has guts, ethical chops, apparent leadership abilities and she is wonderfully photogenic. I hate her Midwestern schoolmarm voice and her Fargo accent, but she may overcome these annoyances, someday.


This year, McCain needs someone who can step into the job... just in case.

Lets face it, if you were running a dead pool on the nominees, McCain would be everyone's favorite as the candidate most likely to kick the bucket...


After all his gasbagging about experience and readiness to lead, I think McCain 'crapped the rug' with this pick. Apparently, he could not find one honest, experienced republican who he thought was ready to step into the oval office, who was not corrupt or unfaithful to his spouse...

Yes Ms Palin has executive experience - as mother of 5 and 2 years as Gov. (Just like George W. Bush who was Gov. of Texas -Lord knows that experience proved invaluable in the ruination of our economy and world standing during the past 8 yrs.)

A few years ago we watched and enjoyed a TV program called "Commander in Chief" starring Geena Davis as the "token" woman VP who was sworn in when the President unexpectedly dies. The new Commander did pretty well in that role, despite being considered a lightweight by all her detractors.

Let us hope that life does not imitate art, this time.

Returning to The Hellhole?

It is with mixed emotion that I report that I have recently returned to the world of commerce. After a three year extended sabbatical which was characterized by unpaid unemployment - leisure mornings spent reading the Globe and WSJ, thinking about world affairs, monitoring the status of our nest egg, updating my memoirs, unhurried lunches with friends and delicious afternoon naps - I have reluctantly returned to the workforce. Part time.

What, you ask, would prompt a sane person to leave such an idyllic, free and unsupervised state? Am I seeking material for a new sitcom? Has my wife's recent retirement and increased surveillance put a damper on my freedoms? Has the rising cost of food and fuel impinged upon my available pool of discretionary spending money? Was I bored? Did they make an offer I could not refuse? Am I trying to impress Jody Foster?

Who can say? Even today, as I ponder my own motivation, I am unclear about the forces which have impelled me to seek (and accept) a job which requires me to bathe, dress in clean clothes and to be present in an office at a designated time. Why does any human being do that?
The answer is probably lurking somewhere in that theory of human motivation that is described in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. In summary, it says we are never satisfied with our present condition.

So, now I have some new situations and people to mock and deride. Managers, supervisors, co-workers - oh and let us not forget the most deliciously perverse creatures who walk the Earth - Customers! Yes, friends, a whole new world is open before us: let us laugh at it together.

One disclaimer: My advisers have counseled me not to reveal the actual identity of my new workplace or the actual people that infest it. There are at least two good reasons for this:
#1) I don't want to get fired until I am good and ready #2) The jury has not decided if it is a hellhole yet.

I know that you are saying to yourself, "Of course it's a hellhole, you numbnuts!" But I try not to jump to conclusions.
Stay tuned. I need to go now and get ready for work.

Why I Don't Get a Charitable Deduction

When clean cut young kids come to the front door asking for donations to help the environment/cure the disease de jour/or to help elect a political candidate, I try to be polite, but I always send them away emptyhanded. Throughout most of my working career, I steadfastly resisted the constant requests for "sponsorship" walks/rides/runs - United Way Nazis - or outright contributions to a coworkers' pet projects (The chief exception is, of course, Girl Scout Cookies - which has always seemed to me to be a worthy cause.)

These refusals to donate may have been seen as the skinflintyness of a cheap bastard, but that is not the case. I do not like people taking advantage of my good will and presumed affluence as a springboard for socialized extortion to support their causes. Also, I am a skeptic who believes that such donations - however well intentioned - are simply a big waste. Some might argue that there is a "feel-good" value to giving $25 to help the starving children in Darfur, but I argue that practically none of that money is spent on food.

In fact, most of the money that is donated to ANY charity goes for overhead - Advertising, Salaries and Lunches for the executives. One exception: The Boston Globe Santa, which collects money to buy gifts for poor kids at Christmas. They promise that 100% of the donations are used to that purpose. The Globe eats the overhead costs. Good for them. These are the only charities that I will give to.

Some people are proud of their political contributions, which mostly go to pay for more attack ads and - of course - funding the campaigns to request more contributions. Or in some cases, to pay-off the gal that the candidate was having an affair with. It seems, John Edwards has emerges as the current leading poster boy for corrupt lying lawyer politicians (Bill Clinton, you are not alone!)
I recall that last year, Edwards had to take the heat for his famous $400 haircut.



This type of excess is typical of non-profit organizations, whose management is not subject to the same scrutiny as public corporations. They prey on the little old ladies from Pasadena who think their $15 is going to cure cancer, or to help a disabled veteran when it is actually going to be dumped into the marketing kitty to fund even more heartfelt requests for donations via junk mail, or worse to pay off the bimbo on the side.


Most of your charity walks and rides are just phony events which have been cleverly designed to fool good-hearted people. Fiendishly clever, the organizers realize that most people want to feel good, so they recruit walkers/runners/riders to go out and solicit sponsorships from their friends and relatives. They count on the fact that many of the participants have a relative or friend who was afflicted by the disease. They will become evangelists.

So, when they come to you in the office asking for a small contribution, you would have to be a hard hearted asshole to say, "You are a dupe. None of this money will go into research; it goes to advertising and executive salaries." Much easier to just give them $20.



Take the 3 day Avon walk for breast cancer as an example. The participants go around to their office colleagues and solicit donations. Most of them must personally invest several hundred dollars for the Tent, food and gear to make them comfortable for two overnights. The event itself is meaningless, except for the participants, who get a great rush from the camaraderie and fun of the 3 day camping trip. What does this have to do with breast cancer? Nothing. Most of the money goes to the organizers of the event. If the participants would just take their tent and gear money and donate it to someone who has breast cancer, the money might just help someone.


As I say, I am a skeptic. I can't prove it but I will bet you that if you look into it you will find that less than ten percent and certainly no more than 30% of donated money actually finds its way to fund the real purpose of the donation, which is research. Prove me wrong.

Yawn

At the local Starbucks where I do most of my research in human behavior, I notice that some people are yawning as they stand in line. Often they mention that they are tired from staying up watching re-broadcasts of Olympic events from China.

The only event I watched (briefly) was the US girls beach volleyball against the (anatomically challenged) Japanese team. I just cannot get interested in most Olympic sports. Watching the swimming events is even more tedious than the previous most-boring-sports-event on my list: Soccer. Let's face it, most of these athletic competitions are fun to do but a yawn for the spectators who are not relatives of the participants.

You know how I feel about Professional sports workers. I feel that the Olympic games have become the same genre of non-sport. These athletes are not about playing, they are deadly serious about winning, because they are all preparing for their careers! Games shmames! I think its a shame.

In the old days the US had a moral high road by only allowing amateurs to compete; now it's just like an all star game. excuse me, I can't keep from yawning.

More Bothersome News

Many former supporters were disappointed this week to learn that John Edwards now admits that the rumors about him shtupping the photojournalist were in fact true and not trash journalist lies, as he asserted a thousand times. All the little old ladies that sent in their $20 contributions are undoubtedly proud that their money went to pay-off the shtuppee to the tune of more than $100,000 for some home video quality work.

But I'm sure he is now telling the whole Truth. Those among us who believe that he fathered her baby are just wrong. He is totally willing to be tested. Umm, wait a min. It seems he will (conveniently) not be able to prove his new found veracity, since the mom refuses to have the paternity test.

Some of us were gullible enough to think that no one would be so stupid as to think that they could pull a Bill Clinton and get away with it in the kleiglights of the cable TV era; we must humbly acknowledge that such stupidity does exist in politicians.

Drudge and Limbaugh and some of the other neocons were right about this scandal many months ago. How come that mainstream press didn't know about it? Or was it an inconvenient truth?

Bothersome News Items

There are a couple of stories in the news lately which are seemingly unrelated but intriguing.

The first story is about a guy who calls himself Clark Rockefeller, and after being in the news for 10 days, no one can figure out who he really is. Rockefeller became news because he allegedly kidnapped his own 7 year old daughter in Boston and sparked an "Amber alert" last week. He was captured in Baltimore a few days ago.

The most intriguing thing about him is the fact that he has managed to maintain a level of anonymity that I would have believed to be impossible in this information intensive society. No drivers license, no social security number, no job, no past.

He "forgets" what happened before 1992, but does not claim clinical amnesia. How do you do that? I know what many of you are thinking: "Lets waterboard the bastard and find out what he knows." Maybe Keifer Sutherland should "interrogate" him? A bullet in the kneecap would undoubtedly bring back a few pertinent memories. Detectives in LA have declared him a person of interest with a potential link to a col murder case in California. Others think he might be the mysterious German Exchange student who dropped oout of sight in Connecticut. Undoubtedly, he will eventually be linked to the Jonbenet Ramsay case. And before long the media circus tent will be both large and noisy.
He has steadfastly refused to provide any explanation about his past or where his money comes from. Reportedly he uses gold coins to fund his activities. (Doesn't that attract attention?)

So far, none of the people in charge can figure out who he is. He says that he cannot remember his past further back than his marriage in 1992. As the SNL church lady would say, "How convenient."

I find it incredible that someone can exist among us without the government's (nor the media's) ability to trace their whereabouts or activities. If he can do it, so can crooks, rapists and terrorists. I find this a bit disturbing.

In the old TV series "The Fugitive" Dr. Kimball was able to exist on the fringes of society, keeping a low profile supporting himself by taking menial jobs. But this guy Rockefeller was no shrinking violet - a Director at the exclusive Algonquin club in Boston, reportedly participated in local theater productions. Yet there are few pictures of him that have come to light. Judging from the newspapers Even his wife could only produce one photo. until the mug shot was released.


The second story is about the Anthrax researcher. The Government lays out the case against Anthrax researcher Dr. Bruce Ivins. They say he (conveniently) committed suicide as the prosecutors were closing-in. Others are questioning whether the feds were targeting the right guy this time After the government's ongoing series of fuck-ups and cover ups, we remain confused, bothered and bewildered by the conflicting stories and our basic distrust of our own security agencies.

I think the bothersome thread of these news items is that the stories remind us of the fragility of our sense of order and safety. If this guy Rockefeller can move untraced in our society, so can a lot of other bad guys. The Anthrax case is equally disturbing not only because of the helplessness we feel to biological attack, but also that it took so long to come up with mainly circumstantial evidence. I'm as much a proponent of the ideals of liberty, right to privacy, etc. as the next guy, but there are some adult realities that need to be acknowledged.

A very small number of individuals can disrupt society in a dramatic way.
witness how a few flat tires and fender benders on the city highways can tie-up traffic for hours. One bad accident on route 95 can ruin the day for thousands of people. Back in September 2001, nineteen bad guys were responsible for over 3000 deaths and the inconvenience to a minimum of 2 million people every day - everyone who has passed through any US airport - since Sept 11. How about the two Washington D.C. area snipers who paralyzed the whole region for weeks, randomly shooting people while they refueled their cars or emerged from grocery stores?

These incidents illustrate how a few malevolent actors can bring mass chaos in a free society. The irony is that each such act tends to make us choose safety over liberty. The citizens of an open society deserve both security and freedom.

The essential problem is that we do not know where to turn for the Truth. Despite all the information that is available to us, we still cannot discern the truth because we cannot trust the source. The traditional source for truth has been scientists and journalists. But not anymore. We don't trust these purveyors of facts these days, unless they are on our philosophical/political wavelength.

The bothersome Reality of modern society: Facts are what you/I agree on. Truth exists in the mind of the beholder.

Celebrity Presidential Candidates

The "old white dude" used Paris in his Obama attack ad, now she has an ad of her own...

Click here

or go to http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d


This made me laugh out loud.

Climbing Molehills Because They are There

One of the front page stories in the news today is about the 11 climbers who were killed by an avalanche on K2 in Pakistan. This may seem a tad cold, but I say "So what"?

I do not take pleasure in the news of any one's death*, but there is a difference between people who are victims of circumstances (disease, wars, violence) and those who risk their lives for thrills.

Of the 11 who died, I do have the most compassion for the two Nepalese who were undoubtedly Sherpa guides and actually working for a living, probably lugging the champagne glasses and photographic equipment.

It is difficult to pretend that it is a tragedy when people who get their kicks from betting against gravity happen to lose the bet. These were self absorbed people who spent their time and inherited money spreading maps on the mahogany decks of their yachts, frivolously preparing to climb mountains. Leaving families and friends because of the spiritual fulfillment one gets getting to the top. By the way, all of the dead had actually made it to the top - they died during the descent.

You may think that I am bitterly envious of those beautiful, rich people who are still alive and can afford to climb mountains and take boat trips to tax free shelters in the Caribbean - instead of being a boat less, overweight pensioner who spends his time chasing rabbits, moles and squirrels away from his garden and surfing the Internets in hopes of finding a cure for chronic NRI (Nagging Rectal Itch).

OK, Guilty as charged. I am capable of being just as useless as the next guy - maybe even useless-er. Just because my current path is to tread upon on those pesky molehills doesn't mean I couldn't be a rich thrill-seeker too if I could afford it. Gravity shmavity! is my motto.

Being at sea level gives one a perspective that mountain climbers do not see. Our horizon is limited by line of sight. But if our safety rope breaks, the fall is generally not fatal.



*Exception: Whoever invented the leaf blower - The noisiest, most annoying contraption on the planet.

No Farewell Party for Manny

Local baseball fans - among whom I am distinctly of the "fair weather" variety - woke up today to the UN-surprising news that Red Sox employee Manny Ramirez was gone, like a foul ball hit out of the park.

We - who understand that baseball is just a job after all - will miss him. He was a pain in the ass prima donna who could hit clutch home runs and fer goshsakes win games when it counted. He was disruptive and lazy and his fielding abilities were less than big league. He looked more like a rap musician than a baseball worker with his long dreadlocks and baggy clown pants. But darn it, he was entertaining.

We have all worked with people like Manny. We might have had to work a bit harder while our coworker was slacking off. Or we might have felt that someone else was getting more attention for his antics than his performance in the field. The Manny on our team may have been annoying at times but then they would do something marvelous: getting the contract that would mean more revenue for our company or solving a costly problem. Just like Manny with his world series game winning performance in the clutch.

At their farewell parties, we sincerely wish them well and try to remember their deeds of greatness. Then we go home and forget about them.

Manny's singular value to the Red Sox was that he is a great slugger who can save the day. I think we will miss him before this season is over. For a little while.

The fact is (despite our hubris) most of us are quite replaceable. Each of us creates our own legacy in our work life. But regardless of our accomplishments, whether we were Airline CEO's, Hall of Fame sluggers or systems analysts, the mark we make amounts to footprints in the sand: washed away by the next tide - or even the next wave, gone and forgotten.

Like Manny, Nomar, Johnny Damon, Babe Ruth - there comes a time when We have stayed too long at the party and it is time to be moving on down the road, with the fresh opportunity to re-create ourselves on a new team. Too many cliches, you say? Well sorry, they just seemed to be appropriate.

The Red Sox suits may seem smart, letting Manny go after getting the best he had, but we felt that way about Roger Clemens too.

Start of a Trend?

I have been justifiably hard on the people who run airlines and their careless attitude towards the comfort and satisfaction of their customers. I have reserved the most bitter scorn for the overpaid executives who would prefer to layoff the working stiffs and cut service rather than take a cut in their own compensation.

So I must take a moment and recognize at least one CEO making a move in the right direction.

The new honcho at JetBlue, David Barger, has taken a personal pay cut of 50% for six months. $250K instead of 500k the article says. If my math is correct, that is actually more like a 25% cut in his annual pay. Still, it is a gesture worthy of note. These guys get huge bonuses when business is good. It is typical for a C-level manager to take full credit - and perks - when business is good. But when things are bad they blame slow demand, weather, sunspots, price of gasoline, seasonal trends, etc. I kinda like a guy who acknowledges that the boss should get dinged along with everyone else.

I doubt that this is going to spark a new trend in responsible CEO salaries, but you never know...

Independence Day Musings

IN an op-ed column published in yesterday's Wall St Journal titled "Why We Went to War in Iraq." Douglas Feith, unrepentant neocon who is incidentally humping a new book, lays out the 5 major reasons that Bush decided to invade Iraq.

I think many of us who regret what has happened in Iraq would have to admit that we shared the post-9-11 mood of vulnerability and outrage. While we were not persuaded that Saddam was a clear and present danger to the USA, we saw his behavior as immediately dangerous to our ally, Israel. He had thumbed his nose at UN resolutions for years, was misusing the oil for food program, and was openly claiming to have WMD's ready to use, and threatening to acquire nuclear weapons. It certainly was my opinion that something had to be done.

In the months following the Trade Center Attacks on 9-11, I had been reading books like Huntington's "The Clash of Civilizations" and was influenced by "The Threatening Storm: The Case for Invading Iraq" by ex CIA analyst Kenneth Pollack. By the time Bush started rattling the saber, I was ready to sign up myself.

How easy it is to forget that we were unified as a country on that score. Today we blame it all on Bush, but i think we should take a moment and recognize that if a few parameters had been changed (eg, control of the looting, more involvement by UN, discovery of WMD's) it might seem like a different game. We know he had the Chemical weapons because we gave them to him; even today no one knows where they went to.

Although Mr Feith still thinks we had no choice other than to bring Saddam down, he does not argue that the post invasion administration was done well. Those mistakes have ruined many lives civilian and military, has wasted billions of US treasure, and has also exacerbated an ideological polarization within our own country.

Today we celebrate Independence Day. We stand in awe of those brave men who signed that letter to the king, in full realization that they might be sacrificing everything for the concept of liberty.

Few of us today can claim to share that level of commitment to an idea. Who will stand in awe of us?

The Turnaround Begins Now

Fans and critics alike will be pleased to know that the check has finally arrived.

Today, I will go to Sears and purchase a new lawn mower, made (or at least, assembled) in the USA. We will fill our gas tanks and buy locally grown foods at the market. We will buy a book written by an American author. Perhaps a case of Sierra Nevada. A California Chardonnay or maybe a nice Zinfandel.

I think that should get the Economy kick started...

Clark's Outrageous Comment

In logic, conflation is the error of treating two distinct concepts as if they were one. We witnessed a perfect example of this in the press treatment of the Wesley Clark statement regarding John McCain. Asked on the Sunday morning program Face The Nation, hosted by Bob Sheiffer whether John McCain's military experience qualified him to become president, General Clark (a pro military guy himself) responded that flying jets, getting shot down, being a POW were not necessarily presidential qualifications.

The aghast Sheiffer demanded an explanation, wherein Clark explained the differences between policy setting, planning and administration and following orders. He never disparaged McCain's courage, patriotism, or honesty.

McCain's people were outraged. How could anyone question McCain's military record? By yesterday evening, Obama was distancing himself from Clark.

I am perplexed. Why can't Obama (or some journalist) simply point out that Clark never attacked McCain's patriotism or courage? The comments about the qualifications for president were restricted to whether combat military service was pertinent to the job as commander in chief. (If so, maybe they should have nominated Colin Powell.)

But some conservatives have been very successful in raising conflation to a conversational art. Let anyone utter a word of dissention from the party line and their patriotism is called into question. This flap is proof that the mix of disinformation and moral clarity creates a potent brew.

Wisdom of Age

Boy, the guy who said, "You should never cook bacon while naked," really knew what he was talking about.

Rationalizing Happiness

Another birthday has rolled around on the two digit odometer of my life. I do not mention it to make you feel guilty that you didn't send me a card or a gift, honestly. It is not a big birthday, but one of those tweener anniversaries. Last year's birthday (my 65th) is probably the last one I will actually "celebrate" with any sense of party-worthiness. From here on I will simply "observe" the day as a reason to demand bacon for breakfast - with no feeling of celebration, rather a vague sense of doom as I mark one year closer to the ultimate afternoon nap. This is not morbid thinking; this is just Reality 101.


When my friends and I get together for lunch these days, we toast each others' health - and we really mean it! These days some of us are clinking iced tea and soda glasses instead of those heady steins of dark beer or martinis. Alcohol doesn't agree with some of our meds. But we are nonetheless happy to be alive and out in the company of friends to enjoy a meal and some conversation.


Frequently, at lunch the talk turns to politics. We are all tending to be argumentative in our old age (and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.) Family members call us curmudgeons; we call them ungrateful little snots.

My conservative leaning lunch mates tend to be frustrated with the relentlessness of progress. The mainstream (Communists and anarchists) press reports are full of lies and spin; special interest conservative news outlets warn of perils and slippery slopes. Their gloomy effect is far-reaching - peaked by news of another hapless pregnant girl who elects to end an unwanted pregnancy, another proposed tax measure, or any effort to change things. They want to keep things as they were. Dissent is viewed as treason.
. . .
Conservatives have always seemed grumpy to me. So I was interested in a small piece in the Globe today that cited recent studies that found conservatives tended to think of themselves as happy. In summary:
"The conservative-happiness relationship was not explained by differences in demographics or thoughtfulness but was largely explained by conservatives' greater rationalization of inequality, including belief in a meritocratic world. According to the authors, such beliefs serve a "palliative function" or act as an "emotional buffer" when confronted with inequality."

Now this seems to make sense. If you believe in a meritocracy, you probably have deluded yourself into believing that you've earned everything you've got; you are not simply the beneficiary of a lucky DNA roll that permitted you to be smart, good looking and white.

Where's My Check Part 2

Ok, I got an official looking envelope from the US treasury, yesterday. It was addressed to both of us, with the last 4 digits of our taxpayer number, so there was no doubt what it contained.

I had just received the quarterly real estate tax bill the day before, and unexpected auto repairs last week had nearly depleted our discretionary expense account. The timing couldn't be better.

The government envelope had been wedged between sheaves of drenched junk mail, so, despite the torrential rains, it remained relatively dry. I rejoiced in anticipation of the long-awaited economic stimulus bonus check that would help turn our economy around to save our retirement nest egg.

Not that the mail carrier cared. He was one of those bitter, unfriendly civil servants who hate their jobs and spend most of their time on the job calculating the number of days to go until they can retire. Whenever it rains, I noticed that he never makes the slightest effort to keep the mail covered. He just walks a normal pace to each house on the street with the mail held out, unprotected, looking miffed because he was out slogging in the rain, hungry and cold, while we - the affluent residents of his route are probably languishing inside our pricey dry McMansions, not working, making grilled cheese sandwiches and watching The View.

Into each mailbox, he angrily stuffs the clutch of soggy catalogs and bills. Maybe he thinks he is living up to the Post Office credo of reliable, relentless service through rain, sleet, whatever.
Maybe he grudgingly feels he is doing a service, but I would rather wait for a nice day and get dry mail, instead of "[bleep] you - here's your [bleeping] wet mail!" But the excitement of getting my stimulus check wiped out any trivial annoyance over minor aggravations such as wet mail.

When I opened the envelope to find a letter and no check, my high expectations were crushed like a Corvair in a junkyard. Here's what the letter said:

"The check is in the mail" The letter was dated June 23 and it said that the check was scheduled for June 27 - but may take six weeks...don't call until then.

Now, I know most of you have given up trying to figure out why the government does what it does, but I still demand rationality. Was this letter supposed to give me some useful information? Or was it just another waste of taxpayer money?

And, where the hell is my check?

New Brave World

I was moved (again) by Peggy Noonan's recent WSJ essay "Brave New World" which impressed me as an intelligent and honest analysis of the choices we have in the next election. If you read nothing else about politics, you should read this essay. http://www.wsj.com/article/SB121330247663568945.html


In November, Americans will go to the polls with a clear choice. McCain represents Old America; Obama represents New America. The individuals themselves do not matter, so we should not get hung-up on the personalities. The president is not the Emperor. If the congress has any gonads at all, the president cannot do anything that is contrary to the will of the people.

My liberal friends (most of the people I associate with) like to blame everything that has gone wrong in the last 7 years on George Bush. I find this a bit too simplistic. There are many conspiritors afoot.

Bush lied and people died, is a clever reduction, but it does not square with the real situation. The democratic majority could have voted against funding the war in Iraq and it would have been over long ago. But they didn't. They drove the getaway car, and that makes them accessories just as if they had committed the crime with their own hands.

My conservative friends are quick to point out that things are not as bad as they would have been under Al Gore or John Kerry. I am inclined to agree with them, and I will admit that I voted for Bush both times. In retrospect I think my vote for dubya was more against the other guys. I was voting against the guys who had spent their lives working in the Washington machine. I did not trust them to have the intestinal fortitude to stand-up against their powerful special interest sponsors.

Perhaps this is just revisionist. I am acutely aware of the human tendency to justify past choices, even when they turn out to be disasterous.

Back to Peggy's thesis. I think she has nailed it with her description of the issues and choice at stake - New America vs Old America.
Unfortunately for her camp, she has clearly made the case that guarantees an Obama victory. She romantically characterizes what Old America stands for, forgetting the inconvenient truths of Traditional America - which was fine if you were white, good looking, and lucky enough to have Ozzie and Harriet for parents. Most of the people who will be voting in the next election don't identify with that shining vision - or memory.

Do we still have time to impeach Bush for poisoning the tomatoes?

A License to Annoy

Hmm. I'm reading the AP News bulletin with a distinctly non-newsy headline that shouts: " Companies get OK to annoy polar bears ." The story is a ruling by The Fish and Wildlife Service that allows seven oil companies to drill in the arctic without worrying about harassing lawsuits from tree-huggers that they are disturbing the habitat of a useless species of wild bear.


Such a headline is certainly disturbing because it violates the fundamental assumption that news is about facts. The headline should have said "Ruling allows oil companies to explore near bear populations "

The injection of the reporter's or some special interest spokesman's value judgements into the story (and indeed the lead) is an increasing annoyance to those of us who read newspapers hoping to discern the truth about events. Isn't there a section in the paper for Opinions, where it may be relevant to discuss how one measures the level of annoyance exhibited by bears.

Even more exasperating for neutral-leaning readers is the information:

The seven companies will be required to map out the locations of polar bear dens, train their employees about the bears' habits and take other measures to minimize clashes with them. In exchange, the companies are legally protected if their operations unintentionally harm the bears. Any bear deaths would still warrant an investigation and could result in penalty under the law.
Administration and industry officials said oil companies enjoyed similar status in the Chukchi Sea from 1991 to 1996 and in the Beaufort Sea since 1993 and there was no effect on polar bear populations.
There is no evidence of a polar bear being killed by oil and gas activities in Alaska since 1993, according to the Fish and Wildlife Service. Since 1960, when the hunt for oil and gas began in Alaska, only two fatalities of polar bears have been linked to oil and gas activities in the state, the service said.

Seems to me like a rational approach to minimizing the impact on the indigenous wildlife while moving ahead with progress. Yet the headline shouted the opinion of a spokesman for the Center for Biological Diversity, who called the ruling "... a blank check to harass the polar bear in the Chukchi Sea."

So, even if the trade-off is between annoying a few bears and $6 a gallon gasoline, I think it should be arcticly clear which side I am on.

Another Reason to Stay on the Sofa

The recent news that the food services at Fenway Park could be dangerous to your health comes as no surprise to your faithful, germaphobic hellhole escapee. See this link for story.
I just hope the baseball workers (aka: players) dont eat the food that is sold to fans. We wouldn't want yet another reason for them to go on strike.

Your frugal, germaphobic, escapee blogger has been priced-out of the professional entertainment market for many years, not just since becoming a fixed-income pensioner. Not to mention that his widening posterior has been sized-out by the tiny seats in Fenway coach class.

There was an op-ed piece in the paper the other day, calling for a cap on the price of "resold" tickets. The writer thought that scalpers should be prohibited from selling the ticket at more than twice the face value of the ticket. I do not see the logic of such an arbitrary position. Either the price should be enforced exactly at face value or whatever the market will bear. And do we really want the government to nationalize and regulate the resold ticket industry?

If some wealthy moron wants to pay $10,000 for a ticket to watch a bunch of spoiled, overpaid baseball workers, why should we care?

==============

Speaking of the risk of plagues killing multitudes of people, I recently saw the Sci Fi (Will Smith) movie "I Am Legend" which has been out on DVD for a few months.

Based on the book by Richard Matheson, it is an updated remake of the excellent 1971 Charlton Heston movie which was titled "The Omega Man."

The story is about survival and loneliness after a catastrophic man-made plague. In the original story the world population is decimated by the results of a biological warfare conflict. In the updated version, a genetically tweaked virus becomes a cure for cancer, but mutates into a form of human rabies.
Those who survive become light-phobic vampires. OK, I didn't think I would like it either, but I am mentioning it here, because I did like it. And the special effects are stunning. And the fresh prince has come a long way since "Independence Day."
Not that you should give a crap what I think, but I give it four stars.

More Reasons to 'Grow Your Own'

Killer Tomatoes

The latest assault on our health and wallets is salmonella and tomatoes. Shades of last year's spinach contamination - if everyone is like me, you probably don't feel the same way about spinach since fall of 2006. How would you like to be an ex-spinach farmer who borrowed heavily to shift his crop to cultivation of tomatoes?



Not a Farmers Daughter Joke.

It could be worse: In Afghanistan, many of the poppy farmers are complaining that the recent government crackdown on poppy growing has cost them dearly. With no crop, they have no way to pay back the money they borrowed from the Taliban. The Taliban - much like the Mafia - tells them "It's just business" and makes them an offer that they literally cannot refuse. "Give us your young attractive daughter and we'll call it square." See Opium Brides

Fathers Day Gift Planning

I am seeing all these absolutely dumbass ideas about what people ought to get for their dads on Fathers day. Most of these are written by staff writers who were told "write something for fathers day" so they came up with "The ten best Fathers day gifts" or "what dad really wants on fathers day." It's all crap and any one who gets their ideas from these lame-assed ads should be embarrassed.

No kids, I do not want "the Beer of The month" for fathers day - nor does anyone who really likes beer. To me, it would be the same as sending dad a pair of socks every month. Don't other dads like to pick out their own socks? I do. And I prefer to select my favorite beer - which is technically an ale - Sierra Nevada. Why would I want randomly selected beers picked by some skinny Gen-X dude who thinks Green Day is a good band? Or worse, some millenium shavetail with a taste for Belgium wheat beers and bleeding heart tattoos snaking up their necks.

No thanks. I spent a lifetime in a costly and far reaching search for the beer that would become my brand. You want to give me beer, give me my favorite brand, not some trendy boutique brew.

A Toast To the Voters

Peggy Noonan doesn't like the Clintons, and figuratively raises her glass to salute the Democrats for rejecting her as the nominee for President in this article which appears in today's WSJ.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121269958227749853.html

Where's My Check?

Here it is the first week in June and I want to know: where's my check?
Has anyone got their so-called economic stimulus money yet? What did you do with it?
I had originally thought I would use the money for a new lawnmower - made in America and all that. I figured it would be a win-win deal.

They say that Gods laughs at our plans. (Meanspirited of him, don't you think?) Perhaps you think it paranoid of me to suggest that God has driven the price of sweet crude to record heights for the sole purpose of thwarting my intention to buy a new lawnmower, but I'm just saying it looks pretty suspicious to me. The cost of almost everything is suddenly higher. (The one bright light: the cost of my favorite product - K-Y Warming Jelly - has stayed stable.)

But you cannot run a Grand Caravan on personal lubricant. And those rip-off artists at the dealer service center have reamed me to the tune of $900.00 (USD) to fix my brakes, a vacuum hose, and to install front-end anti-sway bar bushings. A fill-up now costs $65.00.

I hear some metaphysical chuckle in my inner-ear about my new plan: to use the government money to pay my Visa bill. Now, if the government goes belly-up before I get the check, I will know for sure that God is out to get me.